What is it that you absolutely need sexually?
 

I need to feel desirable.

Agreed. Feeling hotly lusted after (like a piece of meat, no joke) is actually one of the more central aspects of my sexual needs with my husband, I've discovered. I know it's not rocket science, but it took me a while to acknowledge it, go figure.

A tidy house is also extremely beneficial to getting me in the mood. Something about being able to truly relax.

That is so true.

Desirability for sure. If someone was laying there like a bump on a log just to let me do the deed, it would be a HUGE turnoff. Everything else I love, the biting, scratching, etc, is all a byproduct of that desirability.

Vaginas.

I need to have fun.

I need a natural woman emanating her natural scents. Not someone who smells like they went through the perfume section of a department store.

Before sex, we wash together using unscented soaps and shampoos, we do plenty of foreplay to build up a fresh batch of natural odors, and consume them during lovemaking. Along with plenty of touching, all this ensures a proper and satisfying full body orgasm most of the time, and not just an orgasm of convenience.

I have a man, but since I'm not having sex currently, then I need all of it....and a lot in the beginning, middle, and end, too. LOL!


Damn it, now, that's just nasty. LOL!!

LMAO!! Simply, yet hilariously put.

I need for her to not laugh quite so much and to charge much, much less :D

Communication. I need to be desirable to my partner, like you said. Possibly a really good tongue? But that can be learned.

Yeah, it makes you feel good about yourself and you know that the man is putty in your hand. Kind of a power thing.

You're a wise man. :thumbsup:

A sense of intimacy, desire and passion.

No inhibitions. Sometimes it's going to be gentle sex. Sometimes it's going to be ferocious. A willing to go with the natural flow, if you will.

Nothing is a bigger turn-off than someone putting the brakes on when you are at full speed.

I fully understand that this isn't the kind of thing you can do with someone you've just met. It's the destination we need to reach, though.

Ravage each other. :thumbsup:

I want to be touched. Kissed, licked, scratched, rubbed, grabbed, whatever. Missionary can get a bit old for me if we stay in it too long, since he's holding himself up and doesn't have a free hand to allow to wander.

I really like being on top, since generally that results in more touching. More varied contact for me = more intensity = more effort from me = more fun.

And:

Thanks for putting it into words for me ChassisWelder. A bump on a log perfectly describes my ex-wife when we had sex during the latter stages of our marraige. And it was a HUGE turnoff. Also I must say that I certainly have to shoulder my share of the blame for how the marraige ended up.

Thanks also to Milnoc. My SO and I bathe together before sex also and now I want to try the unscented soaps and shampoos.

Well, sexually is one thing. What I emotionally need to be able to have sex is something else.

Sexually, I need to feel desirable, of course. I also like a guy who will take control on occasion, but who can also be gentle when required. I need a guy who pays attention, isn't afraid of telling me what he wants, and who will listen to what I want also. A guy who will be patient and wants to get to know my body. Lastly, I pretty much need to come. No matter how great everything is, best foreplay in the world, best oral, etc., to hell with all that stuff about there's a lot more to sex than just the big O, ok so there is, but I need it at the end or I feel... like something is missing.

Emotionally, I need to be in tune with the person I am having sex with. I am no fan of one-night stands, make-up sex or any of that. Things have to be good between us or the sex will be half-hearted. It could be anything from having had an argument that day to just feeling misunderstood...it could still be great for him, but for me, I just won't be feeling it.

Are you able to come pretty quickly? I am still trying to figure out how appropriate it is to want to come every time... especially when having sex during weekdays, when we don't have a lot of time to draw things out. I would like to be able to come more often, but it takes a lot more time and effort to make me come than to make him come, so usually I end up just having to wait. I don't always feel like something is "missing," but sometimes I think I'm not paying very much attention to it in the first place. So I am just curious about women who need to come every time, and how they actually make that happen.

I need to be wanted and I need someone who is as interested in all things intimacy as I am. I also don't want to be the one who initiates every freaking time. Sometimes...take me dammit.

Well, I am able to make myself come pretty fast, depending on my mood...as for them, that's another story. It's not to do with my being able to get it to happen fast or slow or all the time. I just wish I could have it all the time, because I know it's what I want.

I am pretty much like you, it takes quite some effort for a guy to make me come, so I end up waiting on it a lot too. I wish I could come from a quick romp with a guy, because the idea is exciting- but it just ain't happening (well at least not so far! He may still be out there ;))

It is nothing to do with what is appropriate. I am just being selfish and very honest - I want it 90 % of the time. Give it to me! :p

Have you tried self-stimulation during intercourse?

My SO does that. After lots of practice we are now very much in synch and frequently we enjoy great simultaneous orgasms.

I've tried that, but it's hard to get into a rhythm when we're missionary and my hand is getting moved all over the place from our movements. Also, for whatever reason, I find it less sexy when I have to stimulate myself, though sometimes (very rarely) it does work. Just takes a hell of a lot of work... and we don't have the energy or patience on weeknights.

But I agree with you, little_tippler... would be so nice to come every time, but it just doesn't seem feasible. :(

Isn't it also hard for your man to provide clitoral stimulation in the missionary position?

When we have just a little time for a quickie like you may have on weeknights here is what we do:
My SO lays back on the kitchen table or the edge of the bed and I stand up with my feet on the floor. It's not quite as intimate as the true missionary position but it leaves my hands free to stimulate her clitoris and her hands are free to do the same when she feels like it. This position also allows me to watch her do so and that is a real turn-on for me.

Again, with practice, we usually both manage to come together in about five minutes or less. We both prefer to take our time when we have the time but this method is great for our quickies.

:eek: I'm gonna have to take you up on the method you're recommending... will report back when I have some results!

Attraction, not just on my partner's part but on mine also. I can't be with someone I don't find attractive. Desirability plays in to that too I suppose.

I have used this method in the past and it is highly recommended.

I'm a dude, and I guess we're not really supposed to say this, but I don't give a fuck and will anyway. I want to feel desired too. That one's not just for the ladies. If she's not into it then I probably won't be either.

Yeah, that's a favorite. Plus my guy gets a full view of me and my boobs, which he absolutely loves. We have a smaller bed so he kneels instead of stands.

Respected. I need someone who is into rubbing me. I work construction when I can't get work acting and I am so sensitive everywhere that the slightest touch on the backside of my arm is near orgasm. I love what we like to affectionately call "scritchies and scratchies". I'm a geek.

Wow you seem to be a very self-less lover: There are many times I take one for "the team" by going into sex knowing I am not going to have an orgasm with my bf but I sure do expect to have one 90% of the time. For me this means oral, luckily he is a giver so he doesn't seem to mind and he's pretty good at it so depending on the mood it can be in 5 min or 15 min either or I feel is sufficient time to get laid, be satisfied, and get to bed on a weeknight. In my opinion men get off every time (unless alcohol is involved) why shouldn't we too?

Yes I love the view that this position affords. Also I can watch my girl for the signals of her approaching climax and attempt to time my own with hers.

We have a tall bed so I have to stand on my tip toes. It's worth it.

Quoted for absolute truth. In reality who doesn't want to be wanted?

I want to know I turn them on as much as they turn me on.

I want to feel free to just masturbate sometimes. My partner needs to be comfortable with my sexuality. They need to understand my love of smut.

Every once in a while I need the woman to just take what she wants from me and take charge. It gets boring being the one to start everything all the time

Blowjobs, frequently. That's seriously the first thing that popped into my head before reading all the other responses.

i'm with you miss mango, i need to feel lusted after. or else i just feel used afterwards.

Moods vary, so sometimes its tons of just full on naked body entanglement (just getting frisky with the primary goal just to be naked together) and sometimes its full on anal. I don't know that I NEED anything, but I sure like a lot of everything. Need intimacy, in all its various forms.

God damn liberals! Get out of my darn pantry!

Mmm... tuna.

...

I need to feel like I'm not doing Murder of Gonzago when I pull my pants down. I want to give her what she wants because women are complicated creatures. I want her to be enthusiastic in obtaining her desires. I want to connect with her on a level that is more than "Oh-Papi!" salami in the velvet hot pocket. I want to feel like we have something before and after the act. I want my snog sessions to have Journey and Foreigner and 38 Special lyrics as the emotional theme to match the carnal sheathing.

I wanna be able to fuck my best friend. If that makes sense.

/deep Henry Rollins / Hamlet shit

I need to be worshiped. I want her to look at me as though I'm almighty mother fuckin' Zeus.

I personally like to feel like my cock is a powerful weapon emanating forceful energy as it plows into...

What? Stop looking at me like that.

It was you! You destroyed Alderaan.

...

I never really needed an emphasis on genitals to get all hot and bothered.

It's good that my partner has boobs and Slot B... and that I summon the Tab A.

I'll have to use some "my cock is a weapon" language next time I get snoggin'.