UKking

I've turned down about 3.

One was my girlfriends sister.

Then my roommates friend, who woke me up in the middle of the night and had no idea who she was.

Another woman who I saw at a hotel and calling me late at night on the room phone, was worried I might get robbed or something.

Any ladies here ever been turned down for sex?

Kaimi

I cannot say that I have ever been turned down for sex. Though I would not call myself promiscuous either. Have I turned down offers? Of course I have.

inBOIL

I probably turned a woman down once, but didn't realize it until several years later. I had another experience where I wish I had turned her down, though.

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

Martian

I don't think I've ever turned down a woman for an explicit offer of sex, but I've definitely backed out of situations that I knew were headed that way. Not every guy is a sex-crazed maniac. I have standards.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

Cynthetiq

a goal of being 5 years celibate lead to me declining many offers from women, and me never wondering if I caught something or if I had a child to come back and haunt me years later.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

vanblah

Several.

However, I have taken girls up on the offer many more times.

imkeen

I'm in the same boat. I have never turned down an explicit offer of sex (not sure if I'd be strong enough, honestly), but I have backed out of one situation where I know that's where it was headed. I wasn't too crazy about her but probably would have done it, given a real offer...I may have self esteem problems or something.

I know in a few cases I stupidly didn't realize that some situations were headed that way and inadvertently derailed the progress toward sex. I'm a nice guy by default...

Willravel

I've turned down a few.

Celibate, cynth? Really? Did you get inspired by that 40 Days and 40 Nights movie?

allaboutmusic

Every time.

jay-g

SSJTWIZTA

oh man i turn down chicks alot, or at least i did when i lived on florida.

i have this complex that anyone with a penis shouldnt have. If shes lacking personality, isnt into any of the things im into, or just not a cool person, i cant do it.

I dont know why, but ive always been like this.

Im an awkward person, too. so its pretty rare that a girl hits on me, and im all in.

__________________
First they came for the Jews and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.
Then they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
Then they came for the trade unionists and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist
Then they came for me And there was no one left to speak out for me.
-Pastor Martin Niemoller

jewels

I've turned away many men over the years.

I've only been turned down once, right after my promiscuous wild and crazy days. My future first husband slept (literally) with me but wouldn't have sex with me until he officially broke up with a woman who was crazy about him. I married him because I thought he was the one honorable guy for not sleeping with me on the first date, but in reality it was a mere glimpse of the future - a bleak and barely existent sex life.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

levite

Yeah, three times. Which is three more than I ever dreamed I would. But it was the right thing to do.

Once was this party I went to in high school, and my friend introduced me to this girl there, and pretty much said, "She's looking for someone to 69 with. I told her you were supposed to be great at that." And she was like, "Yeah, you up for it?" But it just didn't feel right. I had only just learned her name, I didn't know her from Adam, she didn't look like my type, and she made it crystal clear she wanted to get off and get gone. It just felt too empty and pathetic for me. So I said no.

The second time was in college, and this girl I was casual friends with basically said she just wanted to get laid, and would I do her a favor: it wouldn't mean anything, just sex between friends. But I knew she had a thing for me, and it would've meant something to her, and not to me. It just would've fed her feelings, which I didn't return. And I wouldn't have been able to live with myself.

The third time was after college, and I was living with my long-term girlfriend. I was working as an actor at that time, and I had a part in this indie film that was shooting, and the girl who played one of the leads and I totally hit it off. Great chemistry both on and off-screen, loads of shared interests, just major sparkage. She was a smokin' hottie, too. I still remember those gorgeous dark eyes.... We flirted, probably a little too much, and on the last day of the shoot, she gave me a lift home, and we were flirting the whole way. Before she dropped me off, she basically let me know she was really into me, and it wasn't necessarily a problem for her that I had a girlfriend, and she gave me her number. I was soooo tempted! But I didn't. I just can't cheat on a girl. That's not the code.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

highthief

That's about right ...

__________________
Si vis pacem parabellum.

Bear Cub

More than a handful of times. Quite frequently when I had relationships that were dwindling down, I just didn't feel like it.

If there's someone that I genuinely like, I like to do a little foreplay and then turn down sex. That way, they are absolutely craving it the next day, and it tends to be much hotter and more satisfying

neflyte

I suppose there was one instance where I thought the evening was headed in that direction. I avoided it however I could as I wasn't exactly attracted to the other person.

Aside from that, if I ever do get an offer, I highly doubt I'd reject it. However, that sort of thing simply doesn't happen to me.

__________________
"I'm not a vegatarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants." -- A. Whitney Brown

Tully Mars

Over the past six months, often. But I'm 45 living around a bunch of retired ladies. 20 year olds don't do anything for me. Ladies 20 years older then me, while very interesting, I rarely find attractive. Even less so when they're completely drunk off their ass.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

MEAD

I've never had to turn a woman down, who was offering sex. I doubt I ever will. I dont get those kinda offers.

__________________
Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."

Tully Mars

Wouldn't feel bad if I were you. Unless the offer is being posed to a 16yr who gets a woody every time the wind blows- there's a reason people get turned down for sex.

__________________
I used to drink to drown my sorrows, but the damned things have learned how to swim- Frida Kahlo

Vice President Starkizzer Fan Club

Kpax

What I did was... this girl I've known for a few months now wanted to hang out, and also wanted me to buy something really expensive for her. Well, I knew what she would do to convince me, but I actually have fallen for a real love, someone who I think about in a long-term context, even though I haven't actually talked to her.

So, I told this other girl I didn't want to hang out. I spent the whole weekend alone, and when I realized how juvenile this was I frantically called her non-stop Sunday night until she answered, and we hung out Tuesday. She doesn't love me, and I have grown estranged from her, but she'll get friendly with me when she needs something, like clockwork. Applaud a lonely guy like me for actually seeing this, and recognizing the hollow nature of it, and being unsatisfied with that. A phone call from a girl that I like, that actually likes me, is better than all of the one night stands in the world. They don't have much longterm meaning, unless you're talking about an STD.

Anyway back on topic, I don't supposed I really turned a girl down for it, as the reason she would get with me wouldn't be out of lust or love, but something else... Oh, and I didn't stick to my guns anyway and called her up eventually, giving in to loneliness and a bit of lust.

World's King

Maybe three or four. I don't remember. And I'm sure it was for a really stupid reason. Like I was too drunk to get it up. Or she was missing a limb or an eye or something.

I do remember turning down a girl after she removed a fake tooth to eat dinner. I just kept staring at that damn tooth. Thinking she would take it out if she blew me. Not downed with the gumming. Unless it's an older lady...

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

Cynthetiq

No, I was interested in hanging out in bars and clubs drinking heavily. In the early 90s AIDS was still a scary thing. Between the death and 18 year imprisonment of having childsupport payments, I chose to not stick my dick in anything for many years.

Goal was 5 years, I made it 3.5.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Willravel

That's seriously commendable. Well done. I doubt I could go more than a month.

You've heard of condoms?

Cynthetiq

yes, condoms are still a risk greater than zero.

abstinence was the 100% solution of zero risk.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Willravel

You're right, of course. I've personally found that combining the pill, condoms, and spermacide along with having one's partner tested is pretty close to 100%.

Cynthetiq

true but that means having a partner which at the time, didn't have one so it would have been a one night stand or a short term relationship.

You'd also have to believe that their test results were either accurate or even worthwhile. You'd also have to believe they were on the pill. The only thing that I had control over was if I did or didn't stick it in someone.

It wasn't worth the evening for a potential lifetime of suffering.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Willravel

Fair nuff.

ratbastid

That's so YOU, Cynthetiq. Nobody else I've ever met could be so damn LOGICAL and DISCIPLINED while at the same time irrationally destroying themselves with chemicals....

When I was in high school I was an active member of the youth organizing team in my Episcopal diocese. Summer before my Senior year, I went to a national Episcopal youth conference in Denver, where I was propositioned by a girl who was so forward and driven it scared the hell out of me.

She said she was a New Kids On the Block fan. She said I looked like Donnie. I got the hell out of there.

inBOIL

I guess you didn't have the right stuff.

__________________
And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

thespian86

hahahahaha zing. Yes I have, to answer the question. Mostly drunk girls when I wasn't drunk; I didn't want to take advantage.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

guy44

Well, I've turned down a situation that I knew was likely to lead to sex before.

Mostly, though, I've screwed up situations which could have led to sex without meaning to. I don't think that counts, although it should, because saying it the other way makes me sound way cooler.

__________________
"You have reached Ritual Sacrifice. For goats press one, or say 'goats.'"

snowy

You should have been worried if she told you you looked like Joey...and I can't really figure out any kind of resemblance between yourself and Donnie Wahlberg...unless you looked totally different in the early 1990s. I should note, I was a huge NKOTB fan, but I was 8.

I've been turned down once for sex, and it's because the man in question is a total gentleman. He didn't want to take advantage of a lady. How polite. I didn't feel so kindly towards him at the time, but afterwards, I was glad. He is a great friend.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

ratbastid

"He's the cute one", she said.

Also, she told me to guess why her guy friends call her "Peaches".

I ran fast and far.

Terrell

^^This. I may have been a little slower to realize it though, there were some situations that I backed out of that may have become explicit within the hour.

intecel

I have turned down sex with 3 different girls over the last 2 weeks. I have only been single for 2 weeks now (after about 10 years of straight relationships), so I'm really just figuring out what I want right now instead of jumping into anything/anyone right now.

pig

Well, I have...so there's a +1 for the count. A friend's semi-estranged wife, a girl I knew at school who was looking for someone to make her happy and complete...a girl who wanted to claim she was a virgin (actually, probably two of these) but who put themselves into situations where sex was a probable outcome...a few close friends when I was younger...if the situation isn't right, el pig doesn't go for it. I prefer everything to be above the boards, and in the definite "I want to do this for the right reasons." Namely, either because you have an emotional connection to the person and so forth, or because you both want to get some friction on. Misunderstandings and poor communication aren't my style.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Cynthetiq

Yes, if I'm going to kill myself, I'm going to do it MY WAY and on MY TIMETABLE Dammit!

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

ride_there

Yes at least once. The time that stands out the most was a really good female friend who had a hard time handling her liqueur and she never remembered anything the next day. I wasn't nearly as drunk as her and felt like I was taking advantage of her even with her leading the way. It was hard to turn down but with a friend of many years I wasn't willing to take the chance of her to not even remembering or first time together. Or even worse, thinking I took advantage of her.

I am fine living with that choice.

Kahn

Probably not

I like to think I'm the type of guy who would say no to the wrong type of offer from a woman ....

she's in a relationship with someone else who wouldn't want her to have sex with me, that sort of thing

I'd never have sex with a woman who was so inebriated she didn't even know where she was, much less what/who she was doing

and I certainly wouldn't have sex with someone I suspected might be young enough to get me shot or incarcerated

but, alas .. I can't recall any such offers ever made to me .. only the kind ANY man would say yes to .. and well .. I'm not here to brag

__________________
Attention everyone: We have another potential asshole in the area !

You don't have bad luck, the reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass !!

Dinner $50
Drinks $30
Motel $40

Finding out she swallows -
PRICELESS!!!

Jozrael

How bout turning down a guy @_@. (I'm also a guy). (Yes, I also would swing that way). I'm with a girl, tho, so no cheatey cheatey.