ruggerp11

Not necessarily. I made that mistake too once and was all the way in before I noticed it. She cried a bit too. I felt horrible.

__________________
Patriotism means being loyal to your country all the time and to its government when it deserves it.
--Mark Twain
Do What makes you happy
--Me
BUT!
"Happiness is the absence of the striving for happiness" - Chuang-Tzu

levite

Newbie with my two cents here....

I find that women are much more relaxed and amenable to trying new things if you go down on them for quite a while first. Five or six orgasms, and most of the girls I've been with cheerfully flipped right over and handed me the lube....

Might also help that, unlike some others, I'm not hung like elephant waving a fire hose.... But perhaps I've said too much....


A.

__________________
Dull sublunary lovers love,
Whose soul is sense, cannot admit
Absence, because it doth remove
That thing which elemented it.

(From "A Valediction: Forbidding Mourning" by John Donne)

mixedmedia

Maybe so, but I can attest to a time before I tried anal sex when my partner rammed me unintentionally while engaging in some pretty enthusiastic fucking and it did hurt...like seeing stars kind of pain.

gg, I wouldn't let that experience turn you off of anal sex forever. It's one thing if you're just not interested in it. But there is a huge difference in sensation between an unprepared battering ram accident and properly performed anal play/sex.

And I have never felt degraded by anal sex - dominated, yes - but not degraded.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Plan9

Color me "Durrrh!" like a blind man with a Rubik's cube, but I really don't get the whole "domination" thing as it relates to female hole-poking. You already hide the salami! See, I get the pushy behavior, the kinky clothes, the breaking of hotel room lamps, the ass smacking, the neck biting, the nails dug into the back, the dirty talk. The poking? Meh.

It seems like "Female Alternate Love Canal #3" is popular for novelty. Perhaps the domination comes from the tone, not the meat-in-nature's-universal-pocket activity itself.

While it doesn't really involve me, since I've got a smooth spot like Yule Brenner's head, I always like to know why people feel they way they do about subjective things.

For my next topic... I'll be starting another literary bukkake thread in Politics about abortion.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

mixedmedia

It's an 'eye of the beholder' thing, I suppose. I have a tendency to tinge sex (under certain circumstances) with being dominated because I get off on it. And most any sexual encounter in which anal sex were involved is almost certain to include this dynamic most conspicuously. Other's mileage may vary. Greatly, lol.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

Shauk

I don't even care for anal sex.

the irony of me being the author of this thread. yay.


but yeah I mean I'll do it but it's the least pleasing option of the holes

mixedmedia

The man I'm with currently felt this way when I met him, but he's changed his mind.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

LiberalLady

In my humble opinion there are too many issues involved in anal sex to simplify it to 'it hurts'. I remember reading a Nancy Friday book that offered some great insight into the issue starting with mommies, toilet training, oral and anal fixations and so on. It was pretty eye-opening though of course it was her opinion. After reading the posts on this thread, I believe an interesting question to pose would be "How many men really want to have their asses played with but are too embarrassed or scared to ask?"

As for my own opinion of the topic: I love anal sex performed on me. A major plus is that my husband fessed up that he wanted to experience some anal play while we were dating. We got a nice pliable vibrator especially made for the ass and took it slow.

Terrell

I once had a girlfriend that wanted anal, I was the one who didn't want to do anal. I find the idea of putting my schlong into an anus somewhat gross, I can tolerate it in a porno, but in real life, no. It would take a very persuasive woman to get me to do anal.

Kaimi

Some men experience the most incredible orgasms with a bit of prostate massage.

whatever1

Let me start by saying, every woman I have been with for the last 20 years, I have had anal sex with. My first wife, sucked an awesome cock, and swallowed, but was apprehensive and did not enjoy anal.

My next 3-4 girlfriends, I introduced them all to it. Some liked it, some loved it.

Now, my current wife, she could not suck a cock to save her life. It is like she is licking a vinegar lollipop. She has swallowed once, 7 years ago and puked thereafter.

but, she loves it in the ass. She was essentially a virgin at 28, she slept with one guy3 times. I introduced her to anal and we were off. The harder it is, the more she likes it. She has also found her love for pain and choking. SHe is MASSIVELY multiorgasmic when I do her in the ass.

doncalypso

It's a bloody shame that so many women are so opposed to anal sex....

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

abaya

How did I know this would be the first thread that you replied to, hmm?

From the responses to this thread, I don't see that many women opposed to anal sex... I would say that on TFP, there are probably more men who dislike the idea of being anally penetrated by a woman with a strap-on, than there are women who dislike anal sex.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ustwo

From the responses to this thread, I don't see that many women opposed to anal sex... I would say that on EARTH, there are probably more men who dislike the idea of being anally penetrated by a woman with a strap-on, than there are women who dislike anal sex.

FIFY

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Bees

My girl prefers anal to vaginal sex. After some foreplay and oral fun we start out with vaginal sex but as soon as she gets really hot she wants it in the ass. She tells me that women have more nerve endings around the anus than the vagina. With anal sex she has more powerful orgasms and sometimes she has two or three in a row. When we come together that way it is really blissful. She doesn't really like my come in her ass so when possible I pull out and come on her belly and pube instead.

I really love to satisfy her that way but sometimes there is a problem for me with it. Once she is done with her orgasm(s) her anus clamps shut and any further penetrations start to cause her pain. So if I haven't had my orgasm yet I am left to jerk myself off (usually with some help) but for me that is not a completely satisfying end to our lovemaking.

I would prefer to come in her vagina and then stay inside as we share a loving embrace. But I won't reenter her vagina after anal sex.

Any advice?

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

Plan9

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

doncalypso

Actually my first reply was to one of Bobby's threads in the "Off the Wayside" forum.... This being said, did you honestly think I'd abstain from posting my two cents in an anal sex forum? Let's get serious for a minute here, ladies and gentlemen...

__________________
Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation

pig

Bees - you ever try wearing a jimmy when in the land of anus, and then slipping it off when you want to go back to the va-jay jay? Otherwise, my friend, you're stuck with rubbing it out on her tummy.

edit: and for completion, i still do not understand why some women, with abaya as their unofficial tfp representative, want a man to take it in the shitter if they're going to. I have a penis. It is made for peeing, and repetitively sticking into orifices. A woman presumably has a vagina. It is for peeing, and being stuck. She also has an asshole, and I suppose some women, and some men, like to move the repetitive sticking of the penis to a redirected sticking in the asshole. I suppose if there's hole for a rodgering, some people will want to rodger it. I suppose if she wanted to rub her clit on my ass, I'd be ok with that. But I don't really want a simulated penis in my ass, or anywhere else on or in my body. I don't want to suck a strapon before I receive head, for that matter. I don't make my girl lick out a bag of jello before I go down on her. I'm more of an "Insert Tab A into Slot B" kind of guy, and sure, if you'd prefer Slot C, I guess I can help you out. In no case will Tab D go into my Slot E. Not happening.

Each to their own, experiences may vary, etc.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

abaya

It's smart of you to not double-dip after anal... but I can see how frustrating that might be. Have you tried the condom-first with anal, then removing it for vaginal, as pig suggested? I don't particularly like cum in my ass, either (though I do love anal sex), so my husband usually wears a condom for that portion and that takes care of most of the clean-up.

Also, in terms of Order of Orgasms, would she let you get her off anally first, then remove your dick and use it vaginally (assuming you were wearing a condom for the first part)? For me, after I've had an orgasm, I could be fucked in all of my holes and I probably wouldn't notice... I'm just a quivering lump of flesh at that point, and I always invite my husband to do whatever he wants to me, then.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Bees

Thanks to pig and anaya for the advice of using a condom for anal sex and then removing it for vaginal. I guess we are used to the feeling of going condom free but it's definitely worth a try when I'm needing that sense of completion.

Hey pig,
You might be missing out on something marvelous. For me the best kind of BJ is when it's combined with my girl's finger up may ass. There is something about that kind of stimulation during a blow job that makes me cum double the norm.

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu

abaya

I think it's called a prostate. Makes 'em shoot double, every time!!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Charlatan

The prostate is a male's gspot... the joke on us is the location.

That said, I find a strap on less fun than a bunch of fingers...

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

pig

bees: i hear you...and charlatan has already advised me and others on the board about the miracles of prostate massage. i'm not saying i'd never go for it; the few times i had a chick give it a whirl, so to speak, were not comely experiences, but i've been told it's probably improper technique. what can i say? i'm a happy man with a good old fashioned blowjob. but that wasn't really my point - this is more of a longstanding disagreement on the notion of taking it in the ass in order to give it in the ass. i can honestly say i'm not overly interested in anal play period...if my girlfriend wanted anal sex, then i'd probably oblige. however, i don't think i'd volunteer my ass beforehand. i'll also never know what it feels like to experience vaginal penetration from the perspective of penetratee, but i don't think that rules out my ability to penetrate. other things i'll never be able to fully grasp are menstration, pregnancy, menopause, etc...but i'm not going to cut my taint open, bleed on a tampon, carry a bowling ball around in a little papoose, or stuff my clothing with heating pads.

basically, i support whatever you and yours do, as long as everyone is happy and consensual etc. this is more of an academic disagreement, rather than a condemnation of your practices...or those of any other tfper.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Ustwo

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Obligatory

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

abaya

So what's the problem, then? If you don't want to have anal with any girl, and any girl that you're with doesn't want to have anal with you (giving or receiving), then why so much fuss about the issue? You know your boundaries, and you aren't demanding women to change theirs in a hypocritical manner. No problem, as far as I can tell.

My beef with the issue happens when when a man wants to do anal to a woman (and the woman is resistant to doing it--key point), but is completely NOT open to even the idea of seeing how it feels for him to receive it, often to the point of some kind of homophobia (e.g. fear of himself turning gay if he even considers the idea rationally). There is no consideration of whether such reciprocation might contribute to building mutual understanding and vulnerability into the relationship, or helping the woman to trust him more with giving him back-door access, etc. It's just the straight-up , "I want your ass, but NO WAY IN HELL are you going near mine! Exit only!!! etc etc." that bothers me so much.

It stands in stark contrast with a more gentle approach, which would be, "I'd like to try anal with you," (and if girl resists the idea) "Okay, would it make you feel better about doing it, if I let you try it on me first?" I don't see any problem with that statement, nor does it make the man "gay" or anywhere near it. Makes the man damn compassionate and attractive, if you ask me.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

snowy

I had a boyfriend do the same thing, but I'm pretty sure it was intentional, even though he said it wasn't, just because his desire for anal and the pressure he had tried to exert upon me to try it was really over the top.

I've tried it since then, but like Shani said, it just hurts. Waxing/plucking isn't really a good pain comparison to anal, especially for me. The pain of waxing/plucking is sudden and over quickly, and it fades fast. Anal...not so much. It hurts the entire time, and it hurts afterwards. I'll pass.

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Ustwo

Men and women are not the same in sex, and sexual desires. Sex does not have to be 'fair' and it can still be good. There is nothing wrong with a guy who wants to try giving anal and not receiving it any more than a guy wanting to get a BJ and not giving one.

I personally will never have a woman do anything anal to me. Its not something I want to do (and I'm not that fond of doing it to a woman for that matter), but the 'gay fear' thing doesn't apply. Being gay is about sex with another man, not a woman doing something to you. Its just something that holds zero appeal to many men. I think the homophobia angle is something of a red herring. A lot of men just don't have the desire.

That too is just a personal preference. I know if I asked my wife to do anal on me with a strap on she would not have been happy and would have thought it was weird on my part even though she doesn't think its weird for women.

You like Allen Aldaesk types, she likes John Waynesk types, as long as we are having sex with the right types, its all that matters.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

whatever1

To each is own, I love it, and will always have it. I am sure there are not many conservatives on here loving it though.

pig

I guess I don't subscribe to the notion of sexual reciprocity. There's really no problem, per say...I don't think. You and I have different perspectives on this issue, so we discuss them, etc - I suppose the same reason any of us discuss anything on these crazy green boards. I understand that in your relationship, when it came time for the anal sex discussion, having ktspktsp experience what you were going to undertake/intake helped you to feel comfortable. Not that my opinion matters on that particular issue, but I see no problems with that. It's more of the statement that in general, that's the way it should be. More men should feel comfortable with that, and if they aren't comfortable with that, then they should give up on the whole anal sex thing. I just don't think it's that simple; people are different, and what one person is comfortable with, another will not be. As always, it comes back to good communication within the relationship, but I don't think that means that a guy shouldn't be able to express his desire to have anal sex with his girlfriend, unless he's willing to have her give him anal sex - as a blanket statement. If that's your personal position to help engender trust or acceptance, then I think that's a different issue. Maybe it's a technique that would work for more men who might want to have anal sex with a hesitant chick, but I don't think it's a maxim for all occasions, or that it will work for everyone.

__________________
You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

Ustwo

That one line says about all I was trying to say.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

savmesom11

I have to agree and sadly if the BF asked me to 'do him' I would be completely turned off. That is just not sexy to me but I see why the ladies feel the connection.

__________________
* I do not believe that struggles are a sign of life falling apart, but rather a step of life falling into place. *

abaya

Yeah, but this is also taking the whole idea out of context. It's not about the BF asking you to do him, because he wants to do it... that's not what I mean.

First, the applicability of what I'm saying would require several things in a situation: your BF to *want* to have anal sex in the first place; then it would require you NOT wanting to have anal sex (I have no problem with women who want to have it, and don't think the guy needs to reciprocate, btw!--that's a totally different situation). If that is the situation, then we move on to the next step. If your relationship has nothing to do with anal, or both people are into it at the same time, then it doesn't apply here.

Next, you would have to be the type of person who might be persuaded into trying it, but only if someone else goes first... a not uncommon way of exploring things sexually, at least as far as I know. Seeing as there are usually only two people in most relationships, and both people have the same body part/orifice in question, well... there isn't a lot of room on who that "someone else" might be. So if he decides, "Well, okay... how about if I try it first, then we'll see how you feel about it?"... then comes the next step:

Either you decide that the whole idea turns you off (no matter what he offers), or you decide that that was a nice gesture on his part, and that it therefore makes you more willing/curious about the whole thing, so you go from there. If the whole idea turns you off, then that's the end of the conversation, and anal sex just won't happen in your relationship. Nothing wrong with that. If you decide it's a nice gesture and it makes you more willing to share that part of yourself if he is also sharing his with you, then you try anal sex and see how it goes.

Some might like it, some still might not, and that's really just fine! But to me the important thing is going through this sexual exploration/decision-making process together (whether you do it or not, whether you like it or not)... that's the part that builds trust and intimacy, to me. It's not being scared away by one word or idea that the other person suggests (e.g. the "EXIT ONLY!!!" declaration), but to delve into it, see how it might be accommodated, see how to better trust and know each other... that's the whole point for me. I just dislike any reaction based on fear, when it comes to sexual desires/fantasies. I encourage both people to at least entertain the idea of what their partner wants to do/doesn't want to do, and to work from there to see how those needs can be met.

It's not about tit-for-tat, in my mind. I've been trying to explain it, maybe I've failed... but for me it's about trust and exploration together. Maybe because for ktspktsp and I, we're all we've got, and possibly all we're gonna get. No previous experiences, and at the moment no possibility of other experiences with other people (though we are both open to that process of evaluating our boundaries as well, if that time comes), so we negotiate these things together. I hope this makes sense. For us, it's about the long-haul, and always finding new aspects of our sexual compatibility.

Hopefully, after this both Ustwo and pig can understand that we're on the same page, here. I wholly agree with this statement:

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

mixedmedia

I'm totally cool with whatever people want to do in bed. We all know that.

But I, personally, have no interest in strapping on a dildo and 'doing' a guy. There's no titillation in that for me. Not mentally and certainly not physically. Therefore, if the situation were that I didn't want to have anal sex, then we just wouldn't be having anal sex. I totally support that choice being the prerogative of the woman and a non-negotiable one if she chooses. It's a particularly invasive act emotionally and otherwise.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

abaya

Right, so there would be no possibility for persuasion, which means that you wouldn't fit into the category I made here:... and therefore my recommendation would not apply to you. Easy as that.

Look, folks, I don't mean to force a way of thinking on people here. It's just that I think if *particular* circumstances/personalities (the ones I outlined earlier) exist in a given sexual situation, then things can be done to explore the possibilities together. I don't think it's that strange of an idea, really. I do think all parties reserve a veto right to whatever they're uncomfortable with, obviously!

But for *me,* I prefer that sexual vetoes come from a place of information and at least giving the idea a fair chance (even in one's head), not from a place of knee-jerk fear, which is where a lot of the posts come from that bother me. When one is looking at a potential lifetime of marriage, and the idea of exploring things sexually with one other person... I just feel like both people have to be a little more open and a little less fearful with new things.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Charlatan

What of a situation where he wanted it? Would you still be game even if it did little for you but a lot for him?

Ustwo... the fact that you even know about that video clip is scary. What are you trying to tell us?

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

mixedmedia

Oh, if he wanted it, then I'd be all over it. And like it.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

jewels

Don't you think a lot of what "get us off" is based on pleasing our partner? So if he's into it, that's going to get me into it.

__________________
We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

Ustwo

What what?

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

blahblah454

Seconded... *shudder*

kramus

I have to say, Ustwo - not only am I on board with the other posters by being both benumbed and befuddled at your knowing of and posting that video but I am also still laughing aloud from time to time as your "What what?" response to Charlatan pops into my mind. Actually, I have even found myself saying "What what?"

. . . not that there is anything wrong with that.

__________________
And now to disengage the clutch of the forebrain ...
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