Ya know, I got my wang caught in a zipper once and it made two exceptionally painful vampire-lookin' punctures that could have been a snakebite.

Just an idea.

well...i've found that actual punctures in the area of my genitals are pretty fucking painful. the shower becomes your enemy. i'd go with something synthetic...steal your girls' glasses beforehand, so she doesn't know the difference.

after you blow mt. vesuvius all over the place...you probably need to get back to questions like "how do you feel?" and "do you want to talk?" and always throw in an "i love you."

yes, i'm just fucking around. the main point is: talk to her.

I just spit orange Fanta all over my fucking keyboard.

I think the people of this forum need to bring back spittoons.