First time fingering her, questions
 

Hi all, I've been lurking for a while, and finally have a question of my own to ask all you awesome people.:)

This past weekend, the gf and I got intimate for the first time. She's a virgin, and I ended up fingering her. She was highly aroused and very slippery down there, and I was careful to only put in my middle finger. However, it seemed that I couldn't go further than the first knuckle, and I have no idea what it was that was inhibiting my actions. Nonetheless she seemed to enjoy it immensely and I'm glad for it. She did say there was some pain during and after the act, but the pain was much less when we did it again the next day although I still wasn't able to go any further in. I guess it could just be that she's extremely tight and I didn't want to put too much force on it. It was somewhat firm, so definitely not the hymen. Any ideas?

If it was a firm, round, fleshy knob you felt, that was her cervix. Going deeper will be a matter of finding an angle that doesn't hit the cervix.

The most sensitive area inside the vagina is in the front wall. Insert your finger such that your palm is facing back at you and make a "come here" motion with your finger. She'll enjoy that.

Also: let's not forget the clitoris, hm?

I doubt you were hitting her cervix 2 1/2 inches in (unless you have abnormally long fingers). It might have been the hymen, but it's more likely to be that she was nervous and tensed up. You couldn't get any farther in because her kegal muscles weren't letting you. The cervix should be considerably higher up unless she has a very short vagina (which is possible).

Other than that, don't forget the clitoris and definitely try to hit the Graffenberg spot as ratbastid suggested. He knows his stuff.

Yeah, the cervix should be much further in. Well, the thing was she was too afraid to fully undress, hence I had very limited space (she had multiple layers of pants on, very cold place). I also think I need to go in a bit deeper for the G-spot, since I definitely did not get any more than 5cm (2 inches) in. Hopefully she does not have a very short vagina:sad:

Why penetrate at all at this point? I'd recommend staying on the outside and rubbing the clit. See if she can reach orgasm that way first, before you begin working her insides.

Oh thank God, he's not asking if she's pregnant.

HA!!

^^ My first thought

Priceless!

I'll second the non-insertion method though. Give her a little rub around the bush to make her cum, and it's an added bonus when you go a few fingers deep the next time around.

Besides, there's no real reason to jam your finger in as far as it will go--not unless she specifically asks for it. Concentrate on her clit and g-spot. Be careful with the clit though--often it is too sensitive for direct stimulation.

This tread is a hotdog party. Girls? Please?

abaya was right..

We'd chime in if we felt he was being poorly guided. As it stands, y'all are doing a fine job!
Yes, it would be highly unusual to hit her cervix that superficially. Yes, check out the other accoutrements of her vestibule. Since she's all virginal, go slowly - lots of stuff is painful at first. Accommodation comes at a price, hm?

Thanks for all your advice. We're in a long distance relationship unfortunately, so I won't see her again for a while. I get her extremely hot over the phone, but she also refuses to masturbate, says she only wants me. Even though I tell her it's ok, she refuses:sad: So, the new question would be, how can I convince her to get to know her own body better?

why does she refuse to masturbate? she must have a reason...

she says she only wants you...(is that why she doesnt masturbate?)... such a cliche.. shes either really really young.. or shes lying

Or perhaps both!:orly:

I know it's kinda cliche, but I believe her. She's 19, I'm 20, young, but not overly so.

eh, ive had a few girlfriends who just don't do it to themselves. Or atleast never, ever admitted to it or touched themselves during sex. You may just have a girl who doesnt want to get her hands dirty.

u know what they say.. 99% of the ppl do it..and the oteher 1% are liars

She's probably not lying. Some are shy about it until they do become more experienced and/or comfortable with their bodies and their man. :shy:

Well you were not hitting her cervex. You actually were feeling her clit. Yes it is about 1-2 inches more or less depending on her body. While it is good to massage this area if you do it for to long and if she is a virgin then you can make her sore. So go gently. The most erotic and arousing thing you can do is rub the labia. Use a gentle swirling motion, but don't insert your finger. It will drive her crazy.
Every girl has a different way that she likes to be touched and each will respond differently to your touch. I know this is common sense but make sure your fingernails are clipped short and do her a favor use a file and take the rough edges of your nails down, you don't want to scratch her and make it an experience that she will not want to do again. You can listen to everyone, but the best thing to do is find out what she likes and what really makes her hot!! Don't be afraid to ask her, some guys think that because the girl never says anything that they are doing the right thing. But she may want you to rub higher, lower, etc and this way she will want to respond to you in the same way. It is my experience that I have found this out and I hope it will help you as well.

Well you were not hitting her cervex. You actually were feeling her clit. Yes it is about 1-2 inches more or less depending on her body. While it is good to massage this area if you do it for to long and if she is a virgin then you can make her sore. So go gently. The most erotic and arousing thing you can do is rub the labia. Use a gentle swirling motion, but don't insert your finger. It will drive her crazy.
Every girl has a different way that she likes to be touched and each will respond differently to your touch. I know this is common sense but make sure your fingernails are clipped short and do her a favor use a file and take the rough edges of your nails down, you don't want to scratch her and make it an experience that she will not want to do again. You can listen to everyone, but the best thing to do is find out what she likes and what really makes her hot!! Don't be afraid to ask her, some guys think that because the girl never says anything that they are doing the right thing. But she may want you to rub higher, lower, etc and this way she will want to respond to you in the same way. It is my experience that I have found this out and I hope it will help you as well.

I usually use my penis, but hey.

But I don't have one!

*palms to face, bursts into tears*

... No, seriously...

Communication is awesome during sex. Think of it as putting together fancy European furniture... do it right the first time and you'll have years of quality use.

"Should" NO!
It is perfectly reasonable to assume you touched the cervix, especially if you (and she) were wrongly positioned due to clothing!

One must remember, the vagina is NOT a PVC pipe! it bends squishes and presents itself differently based on position and previous activity, some days I can touch my cervix at 2 inches, some days not, and this has little relevance on how big/long a guy can be accommodated for cuz the vagina is very stretchable and trainable.

Remember it's not only a matter of pushing in but also of "lateral exploration" be it at the vaginal opening or farther up. You're not blind, you're fingers can see :) communicate and explore and never assume it can't be done, it's all preparation preparation preparation!

People. I hate to quote myself, but dammit.

Note the IF. It's important to know what a cervix FEELS LIKE, before you can know conclusively whether that's what you're up against inside your good lady. I'm not at ALL saying that's conclusively what he was encountering, but that IF what he discovered was firm, round, fleshy, and knob-like, that was most likely a cervix.

It's ENTIRELY POSSIBLE for him to have run into it right near the vaginal opening, depending on many factors including her personal anatomy, the amount of time spent fooling around prior to insertion, the angle of her hips, etc, etc, etc.

Even so--I propose that penetration is a side-dish best kept in reserve. Our friendly OP needs to be acquainted with the clitoris before worrying about the depth to which he can digitally penetrate the girl in question.

So that's what MSD stands for!!!

since the OP was inquiring in 2007, I hope he has moved past fingering...

Rat, I :love: you for getting it so right as far as what a cervix feels like, most mortal men should bow before you! I have to disagree though with the thought of a cervix being "right" near the vag opening (labia). If it was right there then no penis longer than 2" would ever be allowed inside a woman's vagina. It can hurt like a bitch when it's hit during sex. Hell, the speculum the doctor uses for a pelvic exam is around 3-4" long.

Yes, the cervix can sit higher or lower depending on the point in a woman's cycle and/or state of arousel, but not by THAT much! To be un-PC, the anatomy would have to be really fucked up, basically no vagina to have a cervix that was near the labia.

You have Lurkette and Stella, at least, for knowledge and I only have, well myself.:D

P.S. I just thought that the way I worded things could be construed that I was saying L & S's anatomies were fucked up, didn't mean that at all!

When the fuck did Crompsin get all articulate?

he's going to collage...

is that an art school?

Not so, fortunately even a woman with a completely prolapsed uterus, completely fucked up as you say, with the cervix hanging out, can still have penetrative sex!

Again, the vagina is NOT A PVC PIPE. It's mushy and shapeless at best, anatomical parts can be pushed to the side or up.

There is absolutely no scientific reason to say that he did not indeed touch her cervix. It needs to be understood that even if he 'felt' her cervix at around 2 inches, he could still, if talented, insert more inches of flesh, unless she was a child. Think of it in the other direction, if most women can accommodate a 7-9 inch guy, why can doctors alway touch cervix with a single finger, it's called STRETCHING!

ROFL!!!!

I am in possession of a prolapsed uterus "completely" or otherwise. Do not twist my words. I did not say that a woman with a prolapsed uterus was "fucked up". I said that someone's anatomy that allowed for a cervix that completely skipped the vagina and was "right there" at the vaginal opening/labia was. Perhaps indelicate.

As far as I am aware, the cervix is 99% of the time on the outside of the uterus, hanging or not. You're right, the vagina is not PVC pipe, nor is it "mushy and shapeless". Somehow my vagina manages to stay rather firm and right where it is, not wandering amoeba-like around my torso. Try pushing it up or to the side and see how well that works for ya, or how unscathed you emerge...

There's a great video out there showing a method of fingering you can use that will wow her.

Basically, you lube up her vag and stick your middle and ring finger in and move your arm up and down.. making sure your fingers hit the wall on her stomach side and the wall towards her backside. Make sure your fingers are in deep.. up to the knuckle deep. Also, thrust your hand against the walls at a fast pace. Something to add on is to massge her clit with the other hand.

It works all the time for me. haha There's no one way of fingering.. just like sex. Ask her how she likes it the first time.. especially when it comes to her clitoris. Personally, I HATE when my boyfriend goes directly to shaking it fast and rough with his fingers... I prefer soft and gentle first and then get rougher and faster the closer I get to climax. But, that could just be me. :P

Penetration is only part of the equation. Guys seem to be all fascinated with what to put in there, how big, how deep, how often. A good fingering is way more than that.

Google "yoni massage" and learn.

Mine's only slightly prolapsed, I had bronchitis until age 20, the chronic coughing made mine a little lower, so I can't push it around outside, but I can push my insides around as much as imaginable. Sometimes even tampons don't go in straight because the uterus/cervix gets in the way, I have to remove it and reposition it.

Vaginas shapes come in all variations, no configuration should be excluded

There used to be a bunch of stupid shit about tracing the alphabet and for tongue masters, 1 through 26. All that matters is what feels good. Stop the fingering, get your tongue down there and have fun.

:thumbsup:

Amen sister! I've squirted a grand total of 4 time's in the past 10 yrs. out of 20 with DH. All the stars have to align just right and it's only been through fingering that it's happened. I can't will it and he can't make it happen on demand but, HELLO we are both mighty pleased when it does!

tnt666: Done and done.