Weirdest thing you heard, or said, during sex.
 

A man I dated used to like to shout SHE LOVES MY COCK right at the moment of lift-off.

LOL

lmfao!

quote unquote "are you going to put ALL THAT in there??"

"Why do I feel so dizzy???"

Mommy


No, just kidding. :D

She was joking, but right at the moment of climax, my wife once yelled "I'm a momma tiger!!" I don't know where it came from, or why the hell she chose to say that then, but it all but ruined a good orgasm.

Lol. Haha. These are funny :thumbsup:

"Ahh, Ahhhhh, AHHHHHH, *THUD*...... uuuuggghhhhhh"

She was bent over a chair with me behind, when a leg of the chair broke and slammed her forehead into the table.... the second I realized she was ok I couldn't stop laughing. Needless to say she wasn't too happy I couldn't stop laughing.

"Why is there a smiley face on your junk?"

"Duh! It's happy!"

Wow these are awesome. I have nothing funny to add though :(

Me: "Engage..."

I always like to ask a girl about her parents during our first sexual encounter.

Dunno, man... I wish I had a lady like that. Hot quote.

LOL. It wasn't at the time. It was hilarious. But not hot. But thanks!

There was a time damn near 20 years ago while the Mrs Hat to be and I were horizontal, superimposed, done with the act but still engaged, and I leaned down and whispered in her ear as I was wont to do at that moment, but instead of sweet nothings I said, "Snakes have no arms, that's why they don't wear vests." She cracked up, which was quite stimulating, and, as I recall, lead to another round almost immediately.

She was looking for Mr. Right, she got Steven Wright.

"If your mother could see you now!"
Really stupid comment, she choked and wouldn't go down again.

Guys, if you're getting head and need to warn her you're about to finish, the only acceptable way to do so is yelling, "THE JUICE IS LOOSE!"

"You kiss your mother with that mouth?"

"I haven't been fucked like that since grade school"

Great line. In the book it's "I want to have your abortion."

"How the hell should I know, I'm not a doctor...."

even better.

"The crab escaped...and itt's staring at me." (said by itwasme)

This ain't too weird, but I'm just glad I can contribute:

"What's this spot?"

"A razor burn."

"Oh..."

"Snakes have no arms, that's why they don't wear vests."

Oh, I'm so using this line later, Tophat. I'll let you know how it works out.

Just having reached that climatic moment and winding down, he let rip a hearty one...and then started pumping me hard. "I kicked in the fours".....

"not that one, asshole."

And some people say commas don't matter!

"Oh my god... Oh my god... My feet are numb" That was an odd moment.

A friend's story.... whilst showing his woman friend his ardent love in a bouncy, physical way, she let a fart. He replied,"Quiet now, little one. You're next."

Can't swear it happened, but kinda hope so.

"Your girlfriend decorated this room really nice."

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0362919/

That would be interesting.

ItWasMe to ex-husband: "WTF?? That isn't my name!"

she (after sex): "would you rather have Herpes or HIV?" ... we're both doctors and it turns out she just wanted to talk shop.

Subtle!

Applause...

what a classic

cheers

Unfortunately, I don't have anything witty to add, however, I always crack up when she rips a far during her orgasm, then feels the need to apologize while screaming.

I had just orgasmed, it was one of those head to toe ones i said: "i can't feel my face!!" doesnt sound great but it was funny at the time

The all time best weird events during sex story is this.