Girls and Guys, should a guy give up his ass if he gets hers?
 

My wife and I swap anal sex roles, and we both enjoy it either way. I have to say that being fucked with a strapon has made me more sensitive and better at giving it to her, plus she likes that we can have the role reversal.

Girls, do you feel that if you let a guy have your ass you should have his as well with a strapon or a dildo (at least once), or is it ok if it just isn't his thing?

Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?

Nope.

And personally I don't see anal sex as a big turn on, it seems more like a dominance thing to me. We have one hole really well designed for that sort of thing, and one designed to be one way only.

I have a penis. It's for sticking into things. She has the holes for me to stick my penis into. Yes, I have two of the three holes that she has. But she doesn't have a penis.

I don't tend to see anything in the realm of sexuality as "tit for tat", and don't think it's healthy to do so, either. Always playing "i'll do this if you'll do that" isn't really compromise, it's bartering (at best).

Sex shouldn't be an enterprise in which the partners are each looking to see how they can personally gain from it, it's supposed to be fun. lol

:)

Well...I dunno about the whole dominance thing, but I pretty much agree with the rest. I just never really had the desire to go in the back door, when the front door is unlocked.

I'm almost afraid to ask, but... in how many non-human "things" have you stuck your penis? lol

Neither, but especially neither. :eek:

Not as many as you'd think.

Well for once I agree with Analog

And as far as a "dominance" thing....its not....its about pleasure....LOTS of men, mine included, enjoy it and there is not much better than getting a guy off both ways as the same time. Personally I hate it being done to me....I've tried it many times.....I just dont get the pleasure in it.

Sex IS about fun and pleasure, its not about doing something to one person just because they did it to you

No, because I don't want to give it to my boyfriend. I'm the submissive type.

When I hear someone say 'I want to fuck them up the ass' its always in a dominance context.

Sex is about what ever is fun for you. So if you follow that rule you should do alright.

Interesting....

I wouldn't feel obligated to let her do it to me. I would let her do it to me because it's something I quite like the idea of, so it would be more me asking for it.

I don't have any real desire to give anal though, I would like to give it a try for the sake of trying it though.

There is a big difference between exploring and discovering what you find pleasurable and saying, if one does "a", one must also do "b".

I am more along the lines of do what feels good. Rinse. Repeat.

I say, that technically its the guys right to say no. Some guys aren't comfortable with that. My man on the other hand, is willing to give me his and has to a certain extent (we haven't bought a strap-on yet *hehe*). But I think its fair to let the woman have a go at least once so the guy can try it if he gets hers. I mean, I can get my man cumming within minutes if I want to by having my fingers in his ass, or a dildo, or even tounge-fucking his butthole. So any men that try to say they wouldn't-try it first, I bet you will like it :-)

Also, if a guy has tried having a girl going anal on him and he says its not pleasurable, she was doing it wrong I can garuntee you. You need to talk to the partner you are with and let them know whats going on and what feels good or else it will hurt and will not feel good. Same goes with normal anal sex with the guy in the girl. YOu need lots of lube, and some gentle-ness. A little love goes a long way!

Sex isn't a compromise or a zero-sum game, it's ideally an exercise in figuring out how to achieve maximum pleasure for all involved. If a woman says she won't do anal unless she gets to fuck the guy in the ass, she's probably not going to enjoy it and therefore the couple should look into other things that they'll both enjoy.

I agree there, but usually in a relationship, you both should agree to try mostly everything once to see if you will even like it. My man I knew was an assman from the beginning and I was not thrilled at the fact he wanted to try anal on me. Now, we both were just barely not virgins anymore with eachother and I have never once been interested in anal when watching porn. But, I told him I would try it once to see if I liked it and if I didn't we would never do it again and he agreed. Needless to say I loved it haha and since then he has let me explore him more anal-wise becuase now he has made me an asswoman lol. So when it comes down to it, that has nothing to do with compeating or trying to get personal gain. Tit for tat sometimes is what is asked when a girl is scared about trying something and figures if the guy will try it, then she will be comfortable enough to try it. Then again, I do agree there are some people out there that would say that just to get out of whatever they asked them to do. Which is totally wrong.

I agree with that.

But, I would say yes to the OP.

Although I have no interest in doing it or receiving it right now. It doesn't do anything for me.

I wouldn't feel obliged, but I think it's a fair exchange if that's the only way I get to have her's.

After all, it's only plastic.

I'm really REALLY repulsed by the idea or expectation of "obligation" in sex.

I spent years with a woman who felt "obliged" to have sex with me, and it was misery.

If both people want to do pegging, then great. Dave and Shanni do and good for them, especially as he loves it.

I honestly have no idea if I want it or not. I've never been fucked, and nobody's ever suggested it. If they suggested it, I'd have to make my mind up - I really don't know how I'd react. The thought that someone might ask unnerves me; it's a Schroedinger's Cat thing - as long as nobody asks, my answer is a superposition of yes and no, but as soon as they ask I find out what I want. That's some dark magic, folks.

I agree with most of the previous posters. Bartering with sex is just not a good idea. However, I can see how a partner might feel obligated to return the favour.

Since we're talking about anal, here's a quick scenario. Guy wants to have anal sex with girl, but she's unsure. Through some discussion and research, she decides to try it since he told her it'll feel great for the both of them and she's read about the great anal sex the girls in the Ladies Lounge are having. After doing it, she tells him that she'd like to fuck him with a strap-on, citing more of the "I hear lots of guys enjoy it and could be fun" etc.

Would it be fair if he just said no? Probably not.

As a guy who is interested in trying anal sex, I don't necessarily think it has to be an um.. hermm "eye" for an *cough* "eye," but some kind of exchange for the girl going out of her way at your request I think is the polite think to do. Maybe more like an "eye" for a "long night of wet throbbing tongue-flicking oral sex."

Sure it would. Tab A -> Slot A... or Slot B... Slot C...

Sex is all about what the individual finds most pleasurable and then getting with a partner who will supply that activity. Sex is about "me me me" as far as pleasure priority communication and if both partners focused on that and communicated with their partners about that goal... everybody would be happier.

Maybe if it's the woman saying it, but what if the man is initiating the discussion, or it's a mutual discussion that just evolves out of talking about anal in general?

That's what happened for us. I was scared of trying anal, and him trying it first helped me relax and feel much more comfortable about the idea. It wasn't a "tit for tat" thing, in that sense... we were both willing and curious, but I was scared to go first. :shy:

(I love it now, and damn what an orgasm.) :crazy:

Tic, what"s a strap-on?

As one who finds pleasure in many odd things, I imagine I must concur: whatever blows your skirts up!

It wouldn't be fair if he just flat out said no, but if he looked into it and decided that it really wasn't for him after consideration, it would be unfair to him to push him past his limits.

Where does it say that sex is fair?

Sex is using what ya got to get what ya want.

If she has to think about it and the guy REALLY wants it then HE should be the one to offer to make things fair.
If she decides she does not want to return the favor then he is off the hook, but if she does then he should just pick out the most "soft and flexible" choice there is and tell her to go slow.
If however he did not take it easy then, you better be ready to leave the relationship at that second or pray it is not "her turn" you get what you give

This is the same tactic guys use to get a BJ, you do me and I will do you, with the guy trying to back out at the last second or just basically ignoring it and making it worse

*cough*

:oogle:

My partner and I have just been talking about this, she was a virgin before she met me, and hadnt done anything except hook up with previous guys so I'm all she's had in the way of sex. I've told her that I'm curious about anal sex as havnt done it and would only do it with a person I'm really comfortable with, alas I'm more comfortable and close to her than I've been with anyone in my life (pretty sure she's going to be the girl I settle down with) she's said she's not really interested in it because she thinks it will hurt but if the time's right she'll try it.

I started reading some threads on TFP about being fucked by your partner wearing a strap on and I was kind of curious as guys have said it feels good. I told her this and she said we could try it, just going to have to buy a toy and wait for the right moment. I've told her that I'm willing to give up my ass before she gives up hers if it makes her feel more comfortable with it. I think she's just a bit ew'd out by it so might have a joint shower before hand and make sure we're as clean as we know we can be

I can't help loving you, Crompsin! No strap-ons, please.

World's King was blunt but truthful. As per usual.

Biology gave us all the necessary pieces and we quite often use them for what they were originally intended.

Sometimes its giving what someone else wants.

But not my ass, no, not going to happen.

C'mon, Ussie... ;)

Your subtitle already suggests an interest in culinary watersports.

Funny thing about sex.. it's not about "You do this, I do that"

Sex is about having fun, experimenting, fantasizing, communicating and doing things you never thought you might like.

If giving up your ass is in any of those things.. then you're good. If it's not, then keep on keepin' on. It's fun. Don't add all the dumb stressors.

*Hands Crompsin some Popcorn*

Maybe I'm just a sissy, but I say no.....don't like anything near my ass but toilet paper and soap, though not together.

-Will

My wife at times likes it in the ass. She asks for it and enjoys it. I do not like my ass played with. She comes I come we are both happy.

At the same time I lick her ass and she dose not lick mine so maby it is a wash.

Well, I'm not sure what the "wash" part of this is, but just make sure you do wash up thoroughly before engaging in such activities. :D (Sorry, couldn't help it.)

I have to say hell yess.....LOL

god yes... i love a little prostate massaging on a regular basis...


HAWT

:thumbsup: Nice!!! :D That's what I like to hear. ;)

i dont think i've ever cum as hard, as much, or as long when i have a big 'ole plug eased on up there...

yum

Agreed.

I don't think you have to make it into a deal where "If you want anal you have to let me bend you over first" or make it (or everything) into domination or S&M or whatever...:shakehead:

Strapon sex is great. If done right! And if your comfortable doing it. Having it become a mess can ruin it so you have to take some action before hand to insure there is none.:paranoid:

Try it a few times then if you don't like it? I will be surprised. The Male Prostate is like the "G" spot for women... :surprised:

no....you shouldn't have to give up something just because you got something in return....give it up for the love of the other...or don't give it up

I do not feel obligated to do anything sexual with anyone because sex is not supposed to be an obligation, and I refuse to let it be as such.

I am not interested in having anything in my ass. I am also not interested in sticking anything in someone else's ass unless they ask.

I don't believe strap-ons enter the equation at all; perhaps a better analogy (lol) would be if a chick could fuck her man in the ass with her clit. But that opens up several more issues which I find more disturbing than putting things where the poop comes out. :)

I would say no. not only no but HECK no!

I just don't see what could be so good about having something up there.

I mean going to the bathroom sometimes hurts, let alone something going back in that I dont want up there in the first place.

"you dont know what you are missing." some will say.

to that i say, " there are alot of things in my life that I will not do, and I will still die a happy man."

It shouldn't have to be a reciprical thing, but it does allow for a different perspective. I've done it with my SO, and he loved it. It was incredibly hot for me, too. If he started asking for it all the time, I'd start to get worried, but every now and then it can be good to expand horizons.

I thought I would follow up

Does it hurt? Yes, if you do it wrong. If you do it right its unfricking believable. *In a good way.

Is is "gay" I pondered this myself. Do "I" have any interest in male on male sex? :grumpy: The answer is nope. Does having my GF "do me" this way simulate gay sex? :no: I suppose it depends. From what little I know about Gay sex its mostly oral. Right? So, maybe the real question is should I worry about THAT? And the answer is that if getting oral sex (or giving it to my GF is gay? Then its tough that others think this. Who cares?

If you tried it in some way that was safe for the male ego and it didn't require you to be "Dominated" (Which btw has less then nothing to do with it for us) and whoever was doing you was doing it right you would probably admit its pretty unreal.

Does it include "poop"? Well... as I said in the first post if you are not baking a loaf (sorry TMI) its pretty clean back there. Use condoms, if you really want to be cleaned out you can do that as well.

No. I find a nice ass to be nice to look at, but I'm not particularly into anal. In fact I've only ever had anal once, and I don't miss it. I just don't care for it.

I've owned one of those prostate gland self-touching devices, I forget what it's called, but I never really got it to work for me.

If my wife wanted to do me in the ass with a strap-on once, just because she was curious and wanted to try it, I'd oblige. I don't care... I'm up for trying new things, within reason. But in all honesty, I hope she never asks me to do that.

I had an SO that really wanted to try the backdoor, in bringing it up he felt it was only fair to offer his own first. He was not going to put me through something possibly painful without knowing what it would feel like. So in the end, he actually like it more then I.. prostate stimulation and all.:)