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Old 10-17-2007, 12:50 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Girls and Guys, should a guy give up his ass if he gets hers?

My wife and I swap anal sex roles, and we both enjoy it either way. I have to say that being fucked with a strapon has made me more sensitive and better at giving it to her, plus she likes that we can have the role reversal.

Girls, do you feel that if you let a guy have your ass you should have his as well with a strapon or a dildo (at least once), or is it ok if it just isn't his thing?

Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?
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Old 10-17-2007, 12:53 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmmanus
Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?
Nope.

And personally I don't see anal sex as a big turn on, it seems more like a dominance thing to me. We have one hole really well designed for that sort of thing, and one designed to be one way only.
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:17 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I have a penis. It's for sticking into things. She has the holes for me to stick my penis into. Yes, I have two of the three holes that she has. But she doesn't have a penis.
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:20 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmmanus
Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?
I don't tend to see anything in the realm of sexuality as "tit for tat", and don't think it's healthy to do so, either. Always playing "i'll do this if you'll do that" isn't really compromise, it's bartering (at best).

Sex shouldn't be an enterprise in which the partners are each looking to see how they can personally gain from it, it's supposed to be fun. lol

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Old 10-17-2007, 01:21 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ustwo
Nope.

And personally I don't see anal sex as a big turn on, it seems more like a dominance thing to me. We have one hole really well designed for that sort of thing, and one designed to be one way only.
Well...I dunno about the whole dominance thing, but I pretty much agree with the rest. I just never really had the desire to go in the back door, when the front door is unlocked.
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King
I have a penis. It's for sticking into things.
I'm almost afraid to ask, but... in how many non-human "things" have you stuck your penis? lol
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmmanus
Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?
Neither, but especially neither.
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Old 10-17-2007, 01:27 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by analog
I'm almost afraid to ask, but... in how many non-human "things" have you stuck your penis? lol

Not as many as you'd think.
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Well for once I agree with Analog

And as far as a "dominance" thing....its not....its about pleasure....LOTS of men, mine included, enjoy it and there is not much better than getting a guy off both ways as the same time. Personally I hate it being done to me....I've tried it many times.....I just dont get the pleasure in it.

Sex IS about fun and pleasure, its not about doing something to one person just because they did it to you
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:38 PM   #10 (permalink)
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No, because I don't want to give it to my boyfriend. I'm the submissive type.
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Old 10-17-2007, 02:59 PM   #11 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShaniFaye
Well for once I agree with Analog

And as far as a "dominance" thing....its not....its about pleasure....LOTS of men, mine included, enjoy it and there is not much better than getting a guy off both ways as the same time. Personally I hate it being done to me....I've tried it many times.....I just dont get the pleasure in it.

Sex IS about fun and pleasure, its not about doing something to one person just because they did it to you
When I hear someone say 'I want to fuck them up the ass' its always in a dominance context.
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Old 10-17-2007, 03:34 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Sex is about what ever is fun for you. So if you follow that rule you should do alright.
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Old 10-17-2007, 05:18 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Interesting....

I wouldn't feel obligated to let her do it to me. I would let her do it to me because it's something I quite like the idea of, so it would be more me asking for it.

I don't have any real desire to give anal though, I would like to give it a try for the sake of trying it though.
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Old 10-17-2007, 05:44 PM   #14 (permalink)
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There is a big difference between exploring and discovering what you find pleasurable and saying, if one does "a", one must also do "b".

I am more along the lines of do what feels good. Rinse. Repeat.
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Old 10-18-2007, 04:13 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I say, that technically its the guys right to say no. Some guys aren't comfortable with that. My man on the other hand, is willing to give me his and has to a certain extent (we haven't bought a strap-on yet *hehe*). But I think its fair to let the woman have a go at least once so the guy can try it if he gets hers. I mean, I can get my man cumming within minutes if I want to by having my fingers in his ass, or a dildo, or even tounge-fucking his butthole. So any men that try to say they wouldn't-try it first, I bet you will like it :-)

Also, if a guy has tried having a girl going anal on him and he says its not pleasurable, she was doing it wrong I can garuntee you. You need to talk to the partner you are with and let them know whats going on and what feels good or else it will hurt and will not feel good. Same goes with normal anal sex with the guy in the girl. YOu need lots of lube, and some gentle-ness. A little love goes a long way!
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Last edited by bloody_rose20; 10-18-2007 at 04:16 AM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
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Old 10-18-2007, 06:46 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Sex isn't a compromise or a zero-sum game, it's ideally an exercise in figuring out how to achieve maximum pleasure for all involved. If a woman says she won't do anal unless she gets to fuck the guy in the ass, she's probably not going to enjoy it and therefore the couple should look into other things that they'll both enjoy.
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Old 10-18-2007, 11:56 AM   #17 (permalink)
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I agree there, but usually in a relationship, you both should agree to try mostly everything once to see if you will even like it. My man I knew was an assman from the beginning and I was not thrilled at the fact he wanted to try anal on me. Now, we both were just barely not virgins anymore with eachother and I have never once been interested in anal when watching porn. But, I told him I would try it once to see if I liked it and if I didn't we would never do it again and he agreed. Needless to say I loved it haha and since then he has let me explore him more anal-wise becuase now he has made me an asswoman lol. So when it comes down to it, that has nothing to do with compeating or trying to get personal gain. Tit for tat sometimes is what is asked when a girl is scared about trying something and figures if the guy will try it, then she will be comfortable enough to try it. Then again, I do agree there are some people out there that would say that just to get out of whatever they asked them to do. Which is totally wrong.
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Old 10-18-2007, 07:00 PM   #18 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct
Sex isn't a compromise or a zero-sum game, it's ideally an exercise in figuring out how to achieve maximum pleasure for all involved. If a woman says she won't do anal unless she gets to fuck the guy in the ass, she's probably not going to enjoy it and therefore the couple should look into other things that they'll both enjoy.
I agree with that.

But, I would say yes to the OP.

Although I have no interest in doing it or receiving it right now. It doesn't do anything for me.
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Old 10-19-2007, 11:17 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tmmanus
My wife and I swap anal sex roles, and we both enjoy it either way. I have to say that being fucked with a strapon has made me more sensitive and better at giving it to her, plus she likes that we can have the role reversal.

Girls, do you feel that if you let a guy have your ass you should have his as well with a strapon or a dildo (at least once), or is it ok if it just isn't his thing?

Guys, do you feel obliged to let your girl have a go at your ass (at least once) if she lets you have hers?
I wouldn't feel obliged, but I think it's a fair exchange if that's the only way I get to have her's.

After all, it's only plastic.
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:53 AM   #20 (permalink)
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I'm really REALLY repulsed by the idea or expectation of "obligation" in sex.

I spent years with a woman who felt "obliged" to have sex with me, and it was misery.

If both people want to do pegging, then great. Dave and Shanni do and good for them, especially as he loves it.

I honestly have no idea if I want it or not. I've never been fucked, and nobody's ever suggested it. If they suggested it, I'd have to make my mind up - I really don't know how I'd react. The thought that someone might ask unnerves me; it's a Schroedinger's Cat thing - as long as nobody asks, my answer is a superposition of yes and no, but as soon as they ask I find out what I want. That's some dark magic, folks.
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Old 10-20-2007, 04:31 AM   #21 (permalink)
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I agree with most of the previous posters. Bartering with sex is just not a good idea. However, I can see how a partner might feel obligated to return the favour.

Since we're talking about anal, here's a quick scenario. Guy wants to have anal sex with girl, but she's unsure. Through some discussion and research, she decides to try it since he told her it'll feel great for the both of them and she's read about the great anal sex the girls in the Ladies Lounge are having. After doing it, she tells him that she'd like to fuck him with a strap-on, citing more of the "I hear lots of guys enjoy it and could be fun" etc.

Would it be fair if he just said no? Probably not.
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Old 10-20-2007, 08:35 AM   #22 (permalink)
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As a guy who is interested in trying anal sex, I don't necessarily think it has to be an um.. hermm "eye" for an *cough* "eye," but some kind of exchange for the girl going out of her way at your request I think is the polite think to do. Maybe more like an "eye" for a "long night of wet throbbing tongue-flicking oral sex."
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Old 10-20-2007, 08:38 AM   #23 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healer
Would it be fair if he just said no? Probably not.
Sure it would. Tab A -> Slot A... or Slot B... Slot C...

Sex is all about what the individual finds most pleasurable and then getting with a partner who will supply that activity. Sex is about "me me me" as far as pleasure priority communication and if both partners focused on that and communicated with their partners about that goal... everybody would be happier.
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Old 10-20-2007, 11:24 AM   #24 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ustwo
When I hear someone say 'I want to fuck them up the ass' its always in a dominance context.
Maybe if it's the woman saying it, but what if the man is initiating the discussion, or it's a mutual discussion that just evolves out of talking about anal in general?

That's what happened for us. I was scared of trying anal, and him trying it first helped me relax and feel much more comfortable about the idea. It wasn't a "tit for tat" thing, in that sense... we were both willing and curious, but I was scared to go first.

(I love it now, and damn what an orgasm.)
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Old 10-20-2007, 12:32 PM   #25 (permalink)
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Tic, what"s a strap-on?

As one who finds pleasure in many odd things, I imagine I must concur: whatever blows your skirts up!
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Old 10-20-2007, 03:48 PM   #26 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by healer
I agree with most of the previous posters. Bartering with sex is just not a good idea. However, I can see how a partner might feel obligated to return the favour.

Since we're talking about anal, here's a quick scenario. Guy wants to have anal sex with girl, but she's unsure. Through some discussion and research, she decides to try it since he told her it'll feel great for the both of them and she's read about the great anal sex the girls in the Ladies Lounge are having. After doing it, she tells him that she'd like to fuck him with a strap-on, citing more of the "I hear lots of guys enjoy it and could be fun" etc.

Would it be fair if he just said no? Probably not.
It wouldn't be fair if he just flat out said no, but if he looked into it and decided that it really wasn't for him after consideration, it would be unfair to him to push him past his limits.
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Old 10-20-2007, 11:28 PM   #27 (permalink)
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Where does it say that sex is fair?

Sex is using what ya got to get what ya want.
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Old 10-21-2007, 12:31 AM   #28 (permalink)
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If she has to think about it and the guy REALLY wants it then HE should be the one to offer to make things fair.
If she decides she does not want to return the favor then he is off the hook, but if she does then he should just pick out the most "soft and flexible" choice there is and tell her to go slow.
If however he did not take it easy then, you better be ready to leave the relationship at that second or pray it is not "her turn" you get what you give

This is the same tactic guys use to get a BJ, you do me and I will do you, with the guy trying to back out at the last second or just basically ignoring it and making it worse
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Old 10-21-2007, 03:25 PM   #29 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by World's King
I have a penis. It's for sticking into things. She has the holes for me to stick my penis into. Yes, I have two of the three holes that she has. But she doesn't have a penis.
*cough*

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Old 10-21-2007, 03:48 PM   #30 (permalink)
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My partner and I have just been talking about this, she was a virgin before she met me, and hadnt done anything except hook up with previous guys so I'm all she's had in the way of sex. I've told her that I'm curious about anal sex as havnt done it and would only do it with a person I'm really comfortable with, alas I'm more comfortable and close to her than I've been with anyone in my life (pretty sure she's going to be the girl I settle down with) she's said she's not really interested in it because she thinks it will hurt but if the time's right she'll try it.

I started reading some threads on TFP about being fucked by your partner wearing a strap on and I was kind of curious as guys have said it feels good. I told her this and she said we could try it, just going to have to buy a toy and wait for the right moment. I've told her that I'm willing to give up my ass before she gives up hers if it makes her feel more comfortable with it. I think she's just a bit ew'd out by it so might have a joint shower before hand and make sure we're as clean as we know we can be
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Old 10-21-2007, 05:26 PM   #31 (permalink)
still, wondering.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin
Where does it say that sex is fair?

Sex is using what ya got to get what ya want.
I can't help loving you, Crompsin! No strap-ons, please.
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Old 10-21-2007, 05:40 PM   #32 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by seretogis
*cough*
World's King was blunt but truthful. As per usual.

Biology gave us all the necessary pieces and we quite often use them for what they were originally intended.
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Old 10-21-2007, 06:02 PM   #33 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crompsin
Where does it say that sex is fair?

Sex is using what ya got to get what ya want.
Sometimes its giving what someone else wants.

But not my ass, no, not going to happen.
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Old 10-21-2007, 06:04 PM   #34 (permalink)
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C'mon, Ussie...

Your subtitle already suggests an interest in culinary watersports.
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Old 10-21-2007, 07:06 PM   #35 (permalink)
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Funny thing about sex.. it's not about "You do this, I do that"

Sex is about having fun, experimenting, fantasizing, communicating and doing things you never thought you might like.

If giving up your ass is in any of those things.. then you're good. If it's not, then keep on keepin' on. It's fun. Don't add all the dumb stressors.
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Old 10-21-2007, 07:17 PM   #36 (permalink)
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Old 10-21-2007, 07:30 PM   #37 (permalink)
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*Hands Crompsin some Popcorn*
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Old 10-21-2007, 08:48 PM   #38 (permalink)
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Maybe I'm just a sissy, but I say no.....don't like anything near my ass but toilet paper and soap, though not together.

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Old 10-21-2007, 09:24 PM   #39 (permalink)
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My wife at times likes it in the ass. She asks for it and enjoys it. I do not like my ass played with. She comes I come we are both happy.

At the same time I lick her ass and she dose not lick mine so maby it is a wash.
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Old 10-22-2007, 01:13 AM   #40 (permalink)
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Clark
At the same time I lick her ass and she dose not lick mine so maby it is a wash.
Well, I'm not sure what the "wash" part of this is, but just make sure you do wash up thoroughly before engaging in such activities. (Sorry, couldn't help it.)
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