behindalens

What differences do you notice dating a college-educated person vs not? This might be a rash generalization, but for me it seems like a huge deal for some people.

Currently I'm dating someone who graduated from a decent college, although she's not the brightest lightbulb in the room. I kind of wonder why I make such a huge deal out of it.

Plan9

Does going to college change your DNA?

(confused)

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Ustwo

For most people todays college is yesterdays high school.

While dating it wasn't much of a consideration for me. For marriage I wanted to make sure my wife was intelligent as so many men seem to forget their kids get their wives genes too. I didn't rely on graduating college for that though, usually talking to a person gives you a good idea about that sort of thing.

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behindalens

It's not so much as changing your dna as much as being a small determinent of intelligence/interest. Also, if it you're looking for something long term--it could also mean someone who has a better job suited for a long term relationship.

Plan9

DNA'd! Apparently they don't teach humor these days!

UsTwo is on the money. College today is yesterday's high school. Everybody is doing it. Especially the legions of useless American whitebread.

My philosophy? College doesn't count as having done something with your life. Another little bubble to hide in and plead ignorance.

My advice? Go somewhere and suffer. Build a house by hand. Work a manual labor job. Deny self-interest for 15 minutes.

...

Haha, I'm balls deep in college right now. I feel so... dirty.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

ngdawg

College is like putting blinders on.
Almost all my friends are successful but have little or no college and I consider them all extremely intelligent. One of the most intelligent men I know didn't have a lick of college.
Of course, I have friends with multiple master degrees and they're very smart as well, but they are also my age or older-common sense came back to them after a while. And I think that's the 'answer'- in college or soon after, because of those blinders, common sense and outside experiences that add to life take a back seat to the books.

Hyacinthe

Here uni (kinda like college) is actually quite hard to get into you generally need to be in the top 30% of applicants before they will even think of accepting you for the lowest level courses.

I can't say at the moment I can tell the difference between someone who has been college / university educated and not atm, but then again I am a big believer in intelligence exists outside of the classroom as well as inside. You can have some amazingly intelligent people that can't do school work to save their lives.

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Cynthetiq

I have worked with many college grads in my life... it wasn't any indicator of much.

as far as dating, I've only dated college grads, but I think that is a function of the areas I happened to be within. I wanted to date those that weren't but they wouldn't have me.

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amonkie

For me... for the last 5-6 years the majority of my time was spent in a college environment - I was around students 24/7, lived as an RA in the dorms... you meet who you're near.

Also... sometimes fellow students can be more forgiving of the demands on your social life that being a good college can require at times.

Currently.. I'm dating someone who has never attended a traditional 4 year college, and i thank the stars every day for it. His intelligence and knowledge is cultivated out of personal interest, not because someone forced to him to take a class or read a book.

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Baraka_Guru

I thought this thread was going to be about community college vs. university, to which I would have injected my opinions on the matter. Maybe instead I'll search around for a college vs. university thread, if such a thing exists.

Other than that, I would not gauge college vs. no college as much as I would gauge common sense. I've met people with high school only who are just as intelligent and interesting as the average post-secondary graduate.

I won't go into a rant about the state of post-secondary education now, as tempting as it may be.

...I'll search around for that thread.

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Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
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abaya

Hold on, your primary reason for wanting to marry an intelligent woman was so your *kids* would be smart? What about just wanting an equal conversation partner, someone who can challenge you?... I'd think that would be more important than considerations of offspring, but I know you're all into the biological explanation of mating, so maybe that's it.

As for me, I'm the eternal student so I'd have been hard-pressed to have found someone *without* a uni education. That's not due to my biases... just my social environment, which is rather unfortunate (in that it limited my experiences somewhat). If I had found someone who was intellectually sharp, well-read, politically aware, knew lots about other countries & languages, and was always eager and open to learning more, and had never been to college... hell, I'd have been jumping his bones in no time, too. But ktspktsp fufilled all of those things (despite having a MSc degree, lol), so I wasn't going to turn him down based on whether or not he had a formal education. Being the first college grad in my family, that wouldn't have mattered shit to me.

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Sultana

Having a college degree has nothing to do with intelligence level, Come On! The most I could say is that it might testify to their ability to stick with a program. But what was the motivation? That they enjoyed the experience? That they are a sheep?

I also can't figure out why you'd make a big deal out of it.

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My goal? To fulfill my potential.

The_Jazz

Quoted for truth.

College is an indicator but certainly not a predictor. I work with several people that either didn't attend college at all or didn't finish. They're not exactly dummies.

As for dating, if I were to find myself doing that again, not having a college degree wouldn't immediately eliminate someone from my consideration so long as they were intelligent enough to hold up their part of the conversation. At the end of the day, that's all I really care about.

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Ilow

I have been in a few serious relationships with girls who did not finish college. The most recent one (an ex/gf) was quite bright (I guess a tribute to her catholic school education?). I happened to give her an IQ test as part of my own training for school, and she scored almost two standard deviations above the average college grad, which is possibly why she was so interesting as a person. She did, however have some hangups and insecurities about her lack of a college education. She would almost never hang out with me when I was with my grad school friends, and would generally avoid other circumstances where she might be with a majority of college educated people. I think she thought that they would judge her (which is quite unlikely). It made for a good bit of awkwardness at times. When she left me, I think she went off with an artist who didn't finish school, maybe there's something to that.
There is nothing magical about college, it is almost like high school used to be, but as long as everybody does not go, it is still a small accomplishment. It does not mean that you have some great motivation, or are brilliant, however, I still believe that it provides a leg up. Without it I think that you do need a special kind of motivation to get what you want out of life. How does this affect dating? Well, I think that most people like to be with someone who is interesting, a little goal oriented (not just for the money), and smart; whether this comes from a college education or not is somewhat irrelevant, but I (in my probably biased way) believe that it can be slightly more common in college educated people.
As an aside, more and more women are going to college, and fewer men, what does this say, and how will it affect future dating habits?

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WarMoney

I was kicked out of college, and never went back. I too have insecurities about that in social settings. The question I hear most when meeting new people is, "So, where did you go to school?" I usually stutter and say something sarcastic. The times that I reply, "I didn't", it kills the conversation.

I consider myself to be an intellectual, I guess learning little life lessons has helped. Oops, I just jacked the thread.

MrFriendly

Being educated and being intelligent are not the same. I know this point has been made already.

Australia doesn't have colleges, we just have universities, and not everyone will go to uni. The vast majority of my friends went to uni, some dropped out, and others never went. It has made no difference how I see them or how they see me. One of my friends who's doing media studies often comments "You learn so much pointless wank at these places. I can tell you everything about post modern feminism and it's affect on media but still have fuck all idea what to do when my car breaks down."

I don't care what education a person has, as long as they have half a brain, can speak well, and articulate themselves then we're going to get along just fine.

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Jinn

There are stupid fucking people everywhere. I've met high school dropouts who were stupid, high school graduates who were stupid, college dropouts who were stupid, and college graduates who were stupid.

I wish I could use college as a selection against stupid people, but it doesn't work. And won't work, as long as grade inflation, "party" majors and "party" schools exist.

The only thing that I can use "college educated person" for is as a sieve, a strainer. There are definitely stupid people everywhere, but it seems that stupid people decrease in percentage relative to their peers the higher in the formal education chain they've gone.

For what it's worth, I've never met someone I considered "extremely intelligent" or "gifted" who was a high school dropout. They've gotten lucky, but they're not exceedingly intelligent in the conventional sense.

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SecretMethod70

Agreed on all counts. I met some pretty damn stupid people while I was in university, as well as some incredibly smart ones.

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Daniel_

All the women I married without a university degree were cheating sluts.

All the women I married with a university degree have been faithful and fun.

The key, of course is sample size.

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Johnny Rotten

College-educated people tend to know how to use a semicolon. Other than that, I know and have known some awesome people who never went to college or dropped out.

You could argue that it gives you a stronger background in scientific, economic and philosophical concepts. You've probably read more books. Statistically, you'll have a higher-paying job.

At the end of the day, though, I'm perfectly happy to hang out with people who are honest and have a good sense of humor.

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Ustwo

When trying to get laid at a bar, intelligence is far less of an issue.

When deciding to ask her to marry me, it becomes pretty important.

Now I can't say I was looking for a woman to challenge me, odds are I'd still be looking, but I was looking for a woman who could at least keep up.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

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abaya

Ohhhhhhhhhhh, I see how it is...

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Ustwo

My ego shines in such a way, I sometimes wonder if I am the cause of global warming.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

Baraka_Guru

I'm reluctant to view low intelligence disparagingly while viewing high intelligence as though it were virtuous in and of itself. There are other factors that help me determine how I judge character and someone's worth.

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—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Ustwo

Someones worth vrs a potential mate in the true sense of the word are two completely different questions though.

I've known some completely wonderful idiots, and some quite revolting intellectuals.

Neither type would be suitable to date.

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

ItWasMe

Exactly. I know a near-4.0 college graduate who thought it would be a terrific idea to use a brand new vacuum cleaner to siphon gas out of a family member's car (her gas tank was empty).

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Baraka_Guru

I know what you mean. I'd rather date someone like Natalie Portman. She's attractive, artistic, multilingual, and holds a psychology degree from Harvard.

She could be the mother of my children.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Wow. Don't aim too low, now.

She could mother your Baraka-legions?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Ustwo

I'm pretty happy with mine over all

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Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

creepysusie

I think it really depends on the person. Some people don't choose to be university or college educated and they decide to become chefs or a trade skill. That's doing what they love. And in many ways, it's much smarter than going to school to not do what you love.
But for others, I see some people from my high school on the bus to work and they are still talking loudly on their cell phones and talking about the time they got high or how they got arrested for possession. It really depends on the person. But it is usually safe to say, that a greater number of people who do not choose to pursue a university degree have a greater likelyhood to not do much with their lives. Nothing really meaningful at least in my opinion

Baraka_Guru

Truth be told, if I ever have children with my fiancee, I'm sure I would be too. Just replace "psychology degree from Harvard" with "biology/chemistry degree from the University of Victoria" and that just about describes her.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

MEAD

There's a lot of short-sighted college bashing going on here. I wish I had some time to present another view, maybe later.

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"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."

snowy

I think certain universities cultivate critical thinking skills in their students. However, that is not universally true; there are many colleges/universities that teach their students only to follow their dogma.

My SO is not a college graduate--yet. But he has the critical thinking skills and ability to draw his own conclusions about situations--and that ability is something I care about. But I think a college education is irrelevant in looking for it, because life is just as good at teaching critical thinking skills as college is.

My mother is perfect evidence of this--she went to the school of Life. The woman had experienced more by 25 than most do in their entire lives--widowed at 19, divorced at 23, married again and having a baby at 25. By comparison, I haven't even graduated college yet (I have all my degree requirements met), and my biggest claim to fame is that I worked at a fruit leather factory one summer. I turned 25 in July. Fortunately for me, I didn't have to attend the school of Life. I got to go to university.

My mother has a high school education. My father has a Master's degree and almost finished his doctorate (abaya might appreciate this--he was all but dissertation...and quit) but somehow he has managed to stay married to my mother for 26 years, despite a 9-year-age difference. Hmm.

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JustJess

Well, certainly I notice a general discussion-style difference in the majority of college vs. non college educated people. But let's be fair, most of the non-college people I know/knew were also chained to a tiny rural town and had all of the attendant stereotypes and biases attached to that.

But college does not equal intelligent. Or even clever. In fact, in meeting many *very* bright people in my new grad program - at an Ivy League school no less - I am at a loss. They're very nice, and certainly intelligent... but they lack a basic communication ability. They speak, and more noticeably, write with ridiculous grammatical errors. From using the wrong "your/you're" to not understanding common phrases and cliches, such as "she's favoring her right leg" meaning she is protecting the right leg and putting more weight on her left leg... they are woefully poor communicators.

I think the whole world is going that way, though. And I blame the internets.
/end threadjack

That being said, I doubt I'd have dated many people without college degrees, simply because it's harder to relate intimately to someone who doesn't have a similar background to your own. I may meet, befriend, and care about people from different worlds, but it's harder to date those people and connect viscerally.

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Plan9

Subculture syndrome. Stereotype perpetuation. Military has it hardcore.

Generalizations. I think it was SGT G. that once said:

"I like college kids. All talk and they don't fight back."

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MrFriendly

Man, I really don't know about that comment.

It will really depend on what your definition of 'meaningful' is.

I'm not trying to sound narky, but I fail to see how having gone to college can make someones life anymore meaningful.

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You are not a slave

Plan9

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

Baraka_Guru

Going to university has made my life more meaningful. I spent four years studying literature and literary theory, and it changed my world view and even how I view myself. It enriched my life because it allowed me to take on different perspectives and it taught me critical analysis. It changed my life forever. I don't speak for everyone of course, especially considering an English degree is quite different from many other areas of study out there.

__________________
Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing?
—Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön

Humankind cannot bear very much reality.
—From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

Plan9

Man, I keep seeing this shit somewhere:

Education, like religion, is something you do for yourself. As the great Jesus Le Christypants once said, "Let us not restrict our method of worship to an institution, to a structure, to the wikipedia."

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

MEAD

Do for yourself? Are you kidding? College is practically required in America. And I disagree that you should strictly do it for yourself. To an extent you need to be forced. Does a 5 year old really wanna go to school? No, but we make them because we have an advanced society that takes years and years of education in order to function in, and I think it's a benefit to our society to have the population as highly educated as possible. Unless you are advocating that we should an uninformed ignorant America. Just because it is vain for some people doesn't mean the institution is faulty. College is not a waste of time, but some people waste their time in college.

__________________
Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die.
"That's it, send out the ninjas!"
"So then I had to kill my way to the second floor."