warrrreagl

I thought Kpax was being sarcastic and making a joke.

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Living is easy with eyes closed.

BigBaldRon

How about RESPECTING your girlfriend and NOT watching it?

Plan9

Because it defeats the purpose of being honest and compromise?

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

bloody_rose20

First off, NEVER lie to your woman. That is the worst thing you could do. And 2, women always will feel insecure if their man watches porn, because admit it, you are fantasizign about screwing the chick being done on the porn right? There, in our minds you don't want us, you want that girl. Makes us feel like shit. Now, I don't mind porn, and my man LOVES it. But me and him have talked about it and we don't watch it all the time. I'd say about 1-3 times a month if that but we watch it together, even though he knows I am still not totally happy about it. But I know that if I am watching it with him, and pleasuring him while its on, then I know he is thinking of me, but also getting off on the porn so its okay. So I suppose you need to talk to her, and maybe get her to try what me and my man do. She will be iffy about it for awhile even if she agrees to it sometimes, don't pressure her, ease her into it. If she is willing becuase I was a hardcore not happy about the porn thing. So give it a try.

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"The only way to enjoy life, is to try different things, and take risks. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and hope for the best "

Prince

How can you respect someone who has no respect for you and your physical needs, but expects you to be unhappy because of their emotional problems and insecurities?

I can't wrap my head around the argument set forth by many women that they hate or dislike porn because the man is looking at someone else. Well, duh. Of course he's looking at someone else. I believe it was Seinfeld that accurately described women as being sexual camels (although exceptions obviously exist). I would dare suggest that a larger percentage of women could do without sex than that of men. Considerably.

It irritates me, because it is basically saying that "I don't want to put out right now, but I don't want you to go and satisfy yourself either." What are we supposed to do, sit on the toilet with our pants in our ankles and think of you fondly? We're visual creatures. While the mind's participation is crucial, the eyes take you to places your mind alone cannot.

Personally, when I look at and jack off to porn, I don't think about fucking the woman in the porn. I don't even know the bitch. I am simply aroused by the visual stimulation of seeing a female body getting fucked. I'd rather be having sex myself, but if that's out of the question for some reason, then porn is the next best thing.

A man who refrains from watching porn just because his girlfriend/wife/whoever dislikes is not respecting his s.o. by doing so. He's just being a pussy and disrespecting himself, and allowing her to do it as well.

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MrFriendly

That's a bit of broad statement, I know of plenty of women, who not only don't mind the fact their men watch porn, but enjoy watching it themselves.

It's been mentioned so many times it's not funny, but most guys aren't thinking of having sex with someone else while watching porn, they're just using visual stimulus to get off, that's pretty much it.

We're on a roll for sweeping generalizations today. I don't think this is true, at all. And I dare say a lot the female members here would disagree with that comment also.

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You are not a slave

bloody_rose20

Yes I understand that a lot of women like porn. I myself do too, and as for that last statement I will agree, my man will tell you that sometimes I need sex more than he does. Many women just won't admit it I think.

But thank you for clarifying it up that a man can watch porn without thinking of screwing the chick on there. Makes me feel a lot better Seriously, I was still having some issues, and my man never could tell me in a clear enough way and that was what he was meaning to say.

__________________
"The only way to enjoy life, is to try different things, and take risks. Sometimes you just have to jump in with both feet and hope for the best "

abaya

It would be helpful if you spoke only for yourself, and not for all women, because you are wrong in your generalization. I am a woman. Women will not "always feel insecure" if their man watches porn. I probably watch more porn than my husband does these days, simply because I have more time to masturbate! I have a damn high sex drive, and I definitely want it every day.

And I do NOT feel insecure or "feel like shit" when he watches porn, because I know that most of the time, he's not "fantasizing about screwing the chick being done on the porn." (And hell, who cares if he does!! We're all human!!) He's getting off because the image in front of him is stimulating and hot. That's about the depth of what I feel when I'm watching porn, too. There is nothing more to it.

It's about getting off, not about wanting to be with someone else. Any other issue you read into it is from your own perception, not reality.

The only exception to that might be if your partner is addicted to porn, and/or uses porn to get off even when you're a present and willing candidate... or if the porn content itself is extremely disturbing, etc. But those are usually due to other issues that run deeper under a relationship, and have to be addressed by a professional. That's not the case in most men's use of porn, from my observation.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

BigBaldRon

You respect them in so much as it BOTHERS them that you may be watching porn. The entire "physical needs" thing is bullshit. Nobody ever died of blue balls. Have some self control.

Plan9

Yeah, but sexual gratification is a human "need" in some belief systems.

Like iodine... sure, you can live without it... but you'll get a huge goiter.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

snowy

It is a human need, a biological need, in fact. If you do not relieve yourself, you will have nocturnal emissions. Your testes can only produce and contain so much sperm, and it has to clear out the old sperm once in a while to keep the man parts functioning. Thus, wet dreams. I'd recommend taking it into one's own hands, though, as clean-up tends to be easier.

That said, addressing the OP: You need to have an honest conversation with your GF. You are doing her, and yourself, a great disservice by not doing so. Either you need to communicate with her and clear the air about your love of porn, or find a new girlfriend. Or both.

And to all the posts about whether or not women like porn: Yes, women like porn. Whether or not they call what they like porn, they like it. Yes, that is a generalization, but we have to realize that what would be porn for women is different; bodice rippers are definitely porn. Most women I know of who like porn are more into reading erotic fiction and dirty stories than watching movies or the like, but some women are. Personally, I like all porn, and have more than my SO.

Personally, I judge a person as sexually suitable if they laugh at tentacle porn. I have no interest in prudes or people without a sense of humor.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Kpax

LOL I was being sarcastic.

By default my impression has been that women don't like porn. This one post reminded me of that notion. I know now that some look at it, and some don't.

Anyway, I'm a guy that doesn't look at porn at all. No sense watching the Food Channel when you're starving to death, right?

Plan9

With that logic... I should have been dead last year.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."

abaya

Nice one.

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Aladdin Sane

Get another girlfriend.
Unless she is way open minded (like Abaya, for example!), this porn thing is gonna continue to cause problems. I had a girlfriend who totally freaked when I watched porn. Her deal was that she was a feminist and I was "objectifying women," whatever that means. We parted ways and eventually I married a woman who, alas, will not watch porn with me. She knows I like it, but she has "moral" objections. We are tolerant of each others position on the matter. Unless you and your gf can come to a similar agreement, I say you'd be better off flying the coop.

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Plan9

Totally. Get another chick. Who likes kinky stuff.

Life is too short for missionary and awful blowjobs in the dark.

And a lack of porn between them.

__________________
Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."