Prostitution...could you, would you?
 

This came up amongst some of my friends the other night. It turns out that a few of our male friends who are quieter and less confident (but by no means unattrative) lost their virginity to prostitutes because they got scared and couldn't wait past 19. I was upset and shocked, these are nice guys you know, sweet, smart, funny, and some of them have even said that the whole experience put them off for life because it was so seedy and sad.

Has anyone here used them? I am just sad for them that in the race to lose it, they lost out in some way...
x

Never used one, don't see myself as being desperate enough to do so.

However, I'm curious to how many guys have eh, "paid" (in one form or another) our gf's and spouses for a little slice......Yes, I'm guilty. Both get something out of it, and no one gets hurt or scarred.

I see no issue, in principle, with the idea of paying for sex. The only issue I have is when a woman (or a man) is being forced into selling sex by a third party (this is even worse when the person being forced sees none of the profits).

As for the question of would I partake, I don't see why not. If I was in the position where I felt the need and had the funds... I suppose I would do it.


As for losing your virginity... I don't think it's such a good idea.

I'm tempted to go into a long story about how I befriended a prostitute once, maybe a story for another time. Actually I still think about her sometimes, I'd love to know what she's up to. But the stories this girl used to tell me, my goodness.

I would be lying if I said the thought had never crossed my mind. Let's face it, it's been a very long time since I last felt a womans touch (for a whole bunch of reasons I wont go into right now). But a huge part of me could just never bring myself to go through with it, and rest of me simply couldn't justify the money.

At this point in my life I'd have to be trippin some pretty mad balls to seriously consider it. But I hold no judgment against people, male or female, who feel they need the release.

Like Charlatan, I just hope to god that a pro gets themselves into this line of work out of choice, and have not been forced into it. Oooooooooh mother Russia, if only knew what was happening to your daughters now. But the sexual slave trade is getting worse in other countries too, stuff like that just flat out depresses me too :(

I don't think prostitution in and of itself is bad. I think if the prostitutes are willing participants and there is some sort of health inspection, it should be legal - although I wouldn't ever use one because I would still be afraid of the STDs.

I also don't think virginity or a "first time" has any value, but that's a topic for another thread.

When we were staying in a hotel once, my wife put on a wig and pretended to be a prostitute. I couldn't even get it up. Even in roleplaying, the idea of a person being paid to pretend to like me was a complete turn-off. For the same reason, I've never been to a strip club.

Seconded.

I have no moral problem with prostitution, as long as the prostitute entered the profession of her own will, is of age, and is making her own decisions regarding STD's, drug use, abuse, etc.

However, honestly I would think twice (if not several more times) about being with a man who had been to a prostitute, perhaps because it confers a certain level of desperation/lack of self control in his character, and the increased risk of STD's. Perhaps I am stereotyping, but in choosing someone to be intimate with, I think I'm within my rights to discriminate in that manner.

If the man told me about previous prostitutory (?) experience right up front, before we ever had sex, then maybe we could work through it. But if I found out afterwards (i.e. he was not fully disclosing his sexual history), I'd be hard-pressed to not kick him in the balls and to the curb shortly afterwards.

But, this is all hypothetical, since the situation does not apply to me. :D I'd much rather be with a mid-20's virgin :D (as I was) or anyone with "normal" experience, than be with someone who was so desperate to lose his virginity that he paid someone to get rid of it for him. Instant "loser" status, right there.

As Redlemon writes:

Seconded.

I'm a manwhore.

I start at $50.

Agreed.

As for men who choose to use prostitutes...that's their decision, just like it's my decision whether or not I want to sleep with them. Given that it hasn't been an issue in any of my past relationships, and is unlikely to be an issue in the future...I don't really care. Adults make their own choices, for better or for worse.

That's what I meant to say, you just said it more nicely and more concisely. :D

Although I fully support legalizing prostitution, I would never partake. Even when I have spent extended stays in Germany where it is legal, and had no existing relationship, I still had no desire to pay for it.

In my mind, sex for the sake of sex isn't worth it and by comparison my right hand can do a better job. Sex needs to be about the intimate experience you are having with your partner, and I don't see how that can exist if you just put down a wad of cash to have some woman just go through the motions like a machine.

No prostitute for moi. Here's the deal: The biggest turn on for me is knowing that my woman is turned on. To me, nothing is sexier than a woman in heat; a woman who desperately wants me to do nasty things to her and her to me. So I get off knowing she is getting off. Should I find myself with a prostitute, I could never forget that what she is doing, she is doing for money, not lust. That fact alone is the major deal breaker. I have no interest whatsoever being with a woman who is only providing a service and who is only pretending to enjoy herself. YUCK.

I wouldn't even think about it. Using it or doing it myself. Not my cup of tea.

personally,
i would not, could not in a box,
i would not, could not with a fox.
if that's what someone was in to and they are practicing safety and i'm not sleeping with them, then it should, in essence, be their issue not mine.

my only issue with prostitution (other than Charlie's wonderful point about people being forced by another person or circumstance) is when my tax dollars then have to go towards the healthcare and the extra children that can result from those encounters. i'll buy your condoms, but i'll not buy your syphilis or HIV meds by choice, luv. or your stay in the local pokey. i just wouldn't be able to do it. i have a hard enough time trying to role play that one. all i can see is the clinic i worked in... kinda kills the mood. :no:

I think it would depend on the situation in both cases - hiring a prostitute or being a prostitute.

I have no real qualms about prostitution, other than those already mentioned. I, too, would support legalization as a means of "cleaning up" the business all around.

It is truly interesting to read the perceptions and stereotypes of the world's oldest profession on here and the very harsh judgement of both those who buy and those who sell sex (diseased, desperate, mechanical, etc.). I don't know if you all think that the only prostitutes out there are the 10 crack whore types, or you are aware that there are higher class call girls out there.

My opinion is that as long as both parties are over the age of 18 and no-one is being co-erced into it, then I am all for it. In Canada, prostitution is actually legal, solicitation is illegal. What that boils down to is that an escort that you call and comes to your hotel or residence (an outcall) is perfectly legal. A woman that solicits business on the street is illegal, as is a woman who has clients coming to her house (can make for a nuisance for the neighbours in a residential area).

Living in Toronto, the sex industry here is huge and frankly, it makes for a better place to live. The police by and large don't waste valuable resources playing morality enforcers (ever seen "Cops" where they regularly end the show by busting hookers or their clients for the ratings?) and I truly believe that legalized prostitution gives men who are hard up an outlet for their pent up sexual desires. I am a member of the Camilia Paglia school of thought that rape is a crime of sex and not a crime of power as many would want us to believe and as such, a hard up man can be (though definitely not always) a dangerous man.

Massage parlours are also legal in Toronto and are in fact licensed by the City of Toronto as "Body Rub Parlours" at a cost of about 10 grand a year. Massage Parlours typically do not do sex (nor oral), though they are obviously sexual. They advertise both in print and on the internet and are regulated by bylaw enforcement.

To name but a few:

http://www.torontoplatinumspa.com/

http://alluremassage.ca/

http://www.royalspa.ca/

http://handsfromheaven.ca

I'm not a fan of one night stands or one hour sex sessions. So, it's not for me.

It doesn't matter if it costs money or it is free, I would want to be with someone that wants to be with me.

Although I think I might need to take a trip to Toronto...

Hmm... the brain and the penis aren't connected by the heart.

I've enjoyed the relationships I've had that have been based on physical need.

I personally don't believe in prostitution for myself, but don't judge those who do it.
In all honesty, I think Prostitution should be like the girl on Firefly...Enora..where she's a companion. I like to think of it that way better, seems just brighter.

They should be trained, schooled, and of free will to pick their clients.

So like a Japanese Geisha girl?

You know most high class escorts are in this vein. Cultured, well educated, sophisticated, refined.

Jesus, I've met a fair share of strippers who are very very intelligent and well educated women. Though in Aus a lot of them get into it to help pay their way through university. I know stripping is a different game to prostitution, but the fact remains, a lot these women have half a brain.

It's interesting what people will talk about here. Drug use, etc... But prostitution is taboo. "It's ok for others, but I would never partake and really I would look down on anyone who would".

It's not a matter of looking down on, it's a matter of choosing who I want to be intimate with. Big difference there. I could be friends with someone who had seen a prostitute, but I could never date them... it's just not the kind of behavior that I find attractive or sexy in any way.

I agree with james t kirk in this aspect: ... yes, and I fully support the legalization of prostitution, and the freedom for men to choose to use them. That doesn't mean I want to have sex with a man who had sex with a prostitute. I have a right to discriminate who puts his penis inside me, thanks!

Do blow jobs from strippers count?

Cause if they do... Then I have and will again.

I have a friend who has very low self esteem who confessed to me when I got back to Texas from Xmas back home in Canada that he had indeed gone to a prostitute (massage parlour) and got himself taken care of. While he didn't state at the beginning that it was paid for sex, he eventually came clean about it, he didn't seem embarrassed about it but I was somewhat taken back by it.

He's gone back twice since then and I think he plans on going again before the next semester starts up at school. He's very sexually frustrated and does not think that he has a chance with any women, especially in our social construct where the women are pretty much all very attractive and taken. And so he finds himself cockblocking himself.

Personally... I don't have a problem with it as long as, like many feel it's not a forced thing and that the Woman is clean, healthy and of age. Although I cannot see myself going that route ever.

Very eloquent and also true for me!

O, and why pay for it? Half the fun is the 'chase' (for lack of a better term)

The sad truth is that there are men out there who simply don't have the skills or confidence necessary to get a woman into bed. It's a lot less of a problem for us girls - we have a lot more choice in this area. We don't have to have confidence. We don't even need to be good-looking... we can still go out and get laid any night of the week. These men still have needs. If a person can't cook, they can pay to have someone make food for them. If they can't get a woman, they can pay a woman to satisfy their need. I'm not going to judge them for that.

I kind of see what abaya and the other posters have said about not being able to be with someone who had been with a prostitute, because they are "losers". But people change... I have dated very successful, confident, incredible men who were "losers" when they were younger. I don't know if they had been with prostitutes, but to me that is irrelevant. If they were losers, they no longer are. If they are STD-free, then I don't see anything wrong with being with them.

Actually, plenty of successful and attractive men, men in power solicit prostitutes. It is very short-sided to see men as "poor lonely souls who can't get any" or as "losers" as the only patrons of prostitutes. These guys do have the skills to "get women", but choose to solicit prostitutes.

I'd point out that most men involved with prostitutes aren't paying them for sex.

They're paying them to leave when they're done!:eek:

Check your PMs. :D

Seriously, it really doesn't matter to me what kind of men see prostitutes. I'll be their friend no matter what, as long as they aren't assholes.

But apparently it needs to be repeated. I would not sleep with a man who had seen a prostitute. Once again, aren't we all allowed to pick and choose what kind of people we want to sleep with? Lots of guys won't sleep with an obese woman, a woman with bad teeth, a woman with kids... I mean, what the hell, we all have our preferences, and our reasons for those preferences. That's really all I'm saying.

Yea pretty much. I like the idea of prostitutes having brains instead of just spreading their legs.

But seriously, watch Firefly. Awesome series.

The chase is not fun when you are pressed for time (i.e. you must get back to your wife).

I would imagine that paying for sex removes complications from the physical act. It should be noted that what you are really paying for is for the prostitute to leave at the end of your time.

Oh I know hehe, I'll leave Anura to all the other fools though, my heart is for Kaley :hearts:

My reply was just trying to point out real world examples of what you were talking about :)

Oh and Sharon, I think it's a little bit harsh to call people who see prostitutes loosers. I agree with you that people will change over time and better their situation. But the way I see it, it is just one aspect of their life that currently isn't getting the time and attention it needs to be dealt with, and for some, seeing a pro will at least relieve some of the stress and tension. I think it's unfair to insinuate they are loosers just because they're paying for it.

It seems a bit absurd that we will respect a womans choice to work as a prostitute, but want respect the men whom are their clientel, after all, those women do rely on them to make a living, correct? And no, Abaya, that is not a go at you, you've made clear it is simply your preference.

Also Sharon, I disagree with your comment about women being able to pickup no matter what, just because they're woman. Now, I too used to think this, only because I know how to think as a guy. This was until I had this discussion with several female friends about how it's way easier for them to pick up than it is for guys, and their opinion was quite the contrary to this. After having been out with some of them when they're trying to score for the night, I was amazed, that yes, it wasn't as easy for them as females to pickup, just because they're females.

I think in the end, far too many assumptions are always made by people about the opposite sex.

Oddly, I think that's the truest statement in this whole thread!

Some men are lucky enough to have good girl friends who are willing to have a physical relationship with no strings. These men are called "imaginary". :lol: I'm kidding... sort of.

AMEN Brother. Work that wrench! :)

My observation would be that even unattractive women have a far easier time getting laid casually. They don't have to work nearly as hard as men.

HOWEVER,

That's not to say that they can keep the guy as anything more than a 1 night stand. A woman can get laid easily enough, but finding and keeping a good guy as a BF can prove very challenging even for a good looking woman.

Guys might bang just about anything, but they generally want to be out of there before the sun comes up and never look back.

I wouldn't refute that.

All though these girls did have picky standards about what they wanted.

Dude, I could go to any amount of clubs in town and pick up a chick, tonight if I wanted, it's not hard, but I can tell you now they seriously wouldn't be my kind of girls. So I have standards on what I'm looking for, and that makes it a lot harder.

But what you stated before is true for both sexes. Guys can pick up girl with great ease if they know what they're doing, and girls can pick up guys if they know what they're doing. It's the keeping them part that is a different game all together. But the question is really about what game you're trying to play in the first place.

Some people aren't gifted with the ability to just pick up, they probably don't have any interest in a relationship, so what not save all the fucking around and just pay for a pro? If you look at it from a strict fiscal sense, it will probably be a lot cheaper than going out to the night clubs to find what you're after.

It sounds cold and selfish, but jesus, so is going to a club just so you can have a one night stand.

I've said it once before and I'll say it again, I don't care what people do, as long as it's not hurting anyone and they're entirely confident about their choices, they'll be alright by me.