Oh, hey! I have a penis! AWLRIGHT!
 

Okay, let's say that you're a 16 year old male named... oh... uh... Krompson. Yeah! Good hypothetical name.

Also: You're what they call a "real late bloomer", since Lego bricks and pre-VGA video games and MSDOS occupied your life 24/7 until finally the hormones revolted all-up-in-here crazy like the Maccabees. Previously you had simply thought girls were just weakling boys with long hair, a taste for pastels, and toting these oddly-desirable chest-mounted fat deposits.

Now, you don't really know what to do with the constantly ranging bat of reproductive might throbbing in your pants until you touch it in that oh-so-special Winchester 1300 12 gauge pump action shotgun manner. Chck-chck! Then... it's on like a batch file in DOS five-oh.

No... wait. I w...

Nope, I still suck at telling stories. Here:

Basically: Who else had a first masturbation experience with a Newport News women's clothing catalog at 16? I guess part of the appeal was that the women had clothes on and more imagination was required. I only bring it up because I saw one of the catalogs on the floor in an office.

Aaah, memories.

No wonder I'm so fucked up. My dad had Playboys laying around.....

Oh, and I found my penis WELL before 16.....

'70s or '80s editions?

Sears catalog, then playboy.

Mmmm...boobies.

I am not a man but try this one on for size.

You have a hole, you know that when you get the hornies you can stick something in it to "scratch" your proverbial "itch". This started for me around 16.

Now, imagine not having your first orgasm until 19 or 20 and then wondering wtf had just happened.

Ahh, the bliss of having parents old enough to be your grandparents that never talk about sex. Oh, and being so nerdy that you really have no friends.

I think maybe the old parents and nerdy thing did it for me, too.

Look at the bright side, we lived, we learned and we are all better now. :D

Let's just say that my teenage years through the 80's were chock full of visual stimulation..... (Be right out! Thwak thwak thwak)

self discovery for me came in the form of having a highly perversive friend basically talk about sex all the damned time, one time going so far as to talk about his sexual experiences in great detail (he was 3 years older than me).

then one day telling me that he discovered masturbation, informing me how it was done, and letting me figure out what it was supposed to feel like.

you know.. probably bad, but I was so young that nothing ever came out, I just had an interesting full body seizure instead.

interesting experience, conservative parents.... oh well.

Lady Sage, nerdy girls are hot, and if they wear glasses, they're even hotter :D

This will no doubt generate some questions, but I had my first sexual experience when I was just 7, and it was with another boy :hmm:

Then when I was 8 there was a girl who lived down the street who was a play friend. We used to, eeeeer, touch and show eachother things.

It was strange, it was something that as a child I felt great shame about. This days I don't know what it means. I've just put it down to kids being curious.

Strangely enough, I don't think I started masturbating until I was 13.

(Mr. Friendly lives up to his title ONCE AGAIN)

Perhaps I should change my title to Miss Prude? :D

Yep (and well before 16)

Wow, 16... That's 11 years later than my first time (that I can actually remember).

I definately was playing "I'll show you mine, you show me yours" with girls & boys at around the age of 6 or 7, but it wasn't sexual in nature, more curiosity than anything else. Especially since I was one of only 2 boys that were not circumsized, that I was aware of.

It was around 12 or 13 I was alone in my room, thinking about how lucky girls were because it was so easy for them to simulate sex. After more thought, I discovered that my hands pressed palms together made a rather suitable simulation of a vagina. I kept my hands still and used pelvic thrusts at first, it didn't take long to perfect the single-handed, wrist-action method from there.

My penis pisses me off at the same time it's pleasing me.

I think you're supposed to love your appendages.

Newport News. Good memories.

No sears catalog for me. it was the latest issues of Cosmopolitan that I swiped from the waiting room of a doctor's office. even when I was 10 the Cosmo girls weren't wearing much!

i still remember the magazine page we found in the woods...
she had boobs... and a huge clit.. like a tiny penis

I couldn't even FIND my vagina until I was about 16 and looking with a flashlight and a mirror, and I didn't figure out how to put anything in it until I was more like 17--not even tampons. Then I didn't figure out orgasms until I was 19 or so. Haha Crompsin I beat you for lateness of bloom!

Yeah, but you're a girl. That's different.

I have a very obvious crotch-bat.

Accidental shower spray and a surprising bodily reaction when I was 13 or 14.. and then some spring-wear magazine for women my mom had. Then I found my dad's Penthouse collection (nearly 20 years worth).

Life has never been the same since.

The penis is a loving thing. At least it wants to be.

.....he plays with us.

p.s. my Goddess! You must not change your name.

I was doing it at 10.

30 years later, still going strong. I hope that never changes.

Oh man. I'll share my experience just because I think it's funny. I think I was around 8 or 9 when I first really paid attention to what was going on in my pants every so often, and...I'm not even kidding...I thought it was a super-power I had acquired somehow, and that I was the only one with the gift. Of course, I kept it a secret...Didn't want the word to get out about my super-power. I imagined myself running around dressed like Superman (my hero at the time), getting in some trouble where my arms were tied up behind my back, and I would surprise everyone with Junior reaching out and knocking out the bad guys (at the time I didn't know there was a limit to the growth...I thought I would be able to train and make it longer...Haaaaaahaha...If only ;)) .

Soon after, to my satisfaction, I figured out how to "control the power". I then completely forgot about knocking out criminals. I acquired other inspirations...

3 years later, there I was, with the TV stuck on the scrambled (porn) channels, while I desperately hoped and dreamed that enough of the screen wouldn't be scrambled so that I could see some damn nipple. Most of my efforts were futile, but every once in a while, the scrambling messed up and most of the channel was shown...Oh, how I savored those moments...Fast forward to 1998, when I discovered the internet. Things have never been the same.

This is going to make for a great (drunken) bar story one day ;)

HOLY CRAP!! I totally forgot about scrambled porn!! Yes, every once in a while you'd get a nice view of a blue breast or a green ass. :eek: And ever more rare, the whole chanel would come in. Yeah, I'd be raw in the morning after that 1 in a million shot.

I was there as well, in the mid-80s. I also remember that if you held down the button on the cable box, rather than hold-releasing it, you would sometimes get a black and white, somewhat staticky, but viewable image. For a few minutes. Then you would have to try again.

"Blue, blue, electric blue..." I still remember that theme song...

[QUOTE=archetypal fool].

This is so hilarious because before I was serioulsy taking matters to hand, I used to reckon I would be the next great armless ninja.

Currently drowning in hormones I have still yet to figure out the "cotrol" For example being from a boys school in uk the whole co-ed mix is still pretty new and the potential here is staggering. Girls here seem to be very "huggy" with each other, which is I find is kind of bit arousing in itself..but the bad part of getting a good quick hug from a girl is that directly afterward I am forced to walk with my hands in my pockets or shielding myself with a book thereafter. I mean is it better to get a rise sometimes when you don't need them, than to not be able to get one when you need it?? It's like it has a mind of its own, betraying you at the worst possible moments. I could hug a tree and get wood..it just doesn't take that much lately. Which leads me to wonder:
How much is too much masturbation? Is it when you have to actually ask?

I can't tell how many times an innocent search on google pertaining to some school assignment has been thwarted by porn and incomplete homework. But a good way to pass an otherwise stagnant saturday night.

To be honest, I didn't even know about porn on the internet when I first started using it. I remember the day I discovered it perfectly: I did a search on MSN for Dragon Ball Z (back when it was popular), and one of the first few hits was cleverly disguised as "The Best Dragon Ball Z Pictures on the Internet", but it was something else entirely. I don't know what the pictures on the site had to do with DBZ, but for me they were, in fact, the best pictures on the internet. That is, until I did a full-on search for porn. Keep in mind that this was in the mid 1990's, the glorious age when everything on the internet was free...No pay sites!

REAL early internet? ASCII porn?

(images whackin' to it, trying to see female details in horrible courier font)

HAHAHAH!

I remember figuring the odds of me guessing my parent's 4-digit cable password (1 in 10,000) so that I could watch Showtime and HBO late at night. What a glorious day when I finally got it. And thank you "Emmanuel." She was always on, and a lot of times she was in space.

You guys should have grown up here.
No need for tying to watch scrambled channels (although that did not stop me)

Bleu Nuit - Saturday night in Quebec on regular cable and completely free TV (antenna)

America TV has a profound lack of positive sex education.

It does, however, have plenty of cars exploding in napalm blasts.

The American public prefers seeing people get shot in the face and blown up in prime time TV, but a single (accidental) nipple will raise all hell. It's a truly stupid system, I think.

(shivers)

God, I'd rather slam my nuts in a car door than let kids watch daytime TeeVee.

Blame Regan.

I would, but he's dead! I feel bad blaming dead people.

I'll blame his monkey-faced counterpart, Ole Massa Dubya.

That and my children will not have cable television at home.

Heh, I was 17 with my first tampon (put it in wrong, too... Ow!), then 22 when I first started masturbating... took a while to sort out orgasms, too. Yes, 22. I don't know if anyone can beat that late-bloomness. :lol:

(rereads)

Okay, I got nothing.

...

Tampons are great for firearm storage. Soak them in gun oil and insert in chamber.