40 mistakes men make whilst having sex with women - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Impetuous1 · 01-05-2008, 07:16 AM

That list was written by a male.

Plan9 · 01-05-2008, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

A link to the full article 50 Mistakes MEN Make...

http://www.eioba.com/a2849/fifty_mis...hen_having_sex

And a link to the full article 50 Misakes WOMEN Make...

http://www.eioba.com/a67643/fifty_mi...hen_having_sex

Okay, since I just finished reading both of these:

Generally speaking, the two lists seem to cancel each other out.

What a confusing crock of crap if you read both carefully side by side.

"Don't nudge her head." vs. "When he nudges your head, do something."

"Don't blow a load on her." vs. "He's gonna blow a load on you."

Very funny in a George Carlin kinda way, but what the hell is anybody supposed to get out of it when they're direct opposites of each other?

Beginner's tips for the broad carnal first-time activity audience? Sure.

Real deal: Communication +1 as everybody with a brain has said.

Quote:

Originally Posted by UKking

The one mistake women make when complaining about men:

Believing that men actually give a shit.

Ever noticed how men switch off when you nag at them? Well, there's no better way to make them do that than actually list and number every point you want to make.

Um, they give a shit when they're trying to "put it in the hole and do the scrunchy faces dance."

That and most of us aren't using women like gas stations (pump, pay, go).

Except maybe World's King... he's on a mission from God.

jewels · 01-05-2008, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skier

That's fine if your reaction is immediately obvious for something you like that your partner is doing. As shanifaye said sometimes a body's reactions can be misinterpreted, even very plain and obvious ones. What if your SO did something you really enjoyed immensely but stopped soon after because he got a signal mixed up and you never mentioned it again because you didn't think it was "sexy"?

I would be a little dissatisfied and left hoping that he/she would do it again sometime (but they never would, because they thought you didn't like it). You can keep communication seductive and sexy- incorporate it into dirty talk, whisper questions to her in her ear asking what she likes better while you do them, play a hot and cold game, and just have fun exploring each other's bodies. Communication makes sex a lot more fun than, say, smiling a little bit extra when someone is kissing your stomach. (How am i supposed to figure that one out, i couldn't even see her face. :/ )

Which brings up something.. the vast majority of girls i've had sex with were extremely quiet in bed, at least at first. There are VERY subtle body language cues they give that they think should be plain as day to read, which they are not. Communication really makes the whole thing more enjoyable.

Exactly

The worst offender is the guy who knows what women want, or thinks he knows what you like. Truth is he has no clue but telling the truth will shatter his ego or he refuses to believe you because all the other women he's been with love it when he does it that way (or so he believes as the cycle's already begun).

When that happens, you've got to kick him to the curb unless he can handle a reality check. You can't expect a relationship to work, even a purely sexual one, if two way communication isn't happening.

Plan9 · 01-05-2008, 09:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jewels443

When that happens, you've got to kick him to the curb unless he can handle a reality check. You can't expect a relationship to work, even a purely sexual one, if two way communication isn't happening.

Okay, okay... what the hell is all this "reality check" stuff, anyway?

...

I know I'm taking it the completely wrong way, but it kinda feels like:

Girl: "Ya know you're good, I've had bigger."

Guy: "Well, my last girlfriend's ass wasn't a coffee table."

...

I just don't see too many people being that "cocky" (rimshot) during sex. A naked man with an erection is a decidedly humble man 99% of the time.

jewels · 01-05-2008, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

I just don't see too many people being that "cocky" (rimshot) during sex. A naked man with an erection is a decidedly humble man 99% of the time.

I'm not sure how to explain this, but I'll try.

Some men are overconfident because they've slept with so many women or maybe had a woman who made him believe he was godlike. I dunno. But there are many out there based on my own experiences when I was younger, and from years of girl talk.

By reality check, I mean a guy who can take a constructive criticism. I mean, how sweetly can a gal say "Gee, babe, I know you've told me that Exbabygirl loved it when you did that, but it hurts me and it feels so much better when you do this." Women shouldn't lie to men but some guys don't want to believe that they don't know all there is to know.

It may not be you, but believe me, these guys are out there.

Willravel · 01-05-2008, 10:21 AM

One can avoid those problems when you simply keep a dialogue open during sex. I am a thesaurus of alternatives for "How does this feel?" (because saying "How does this feel?" often enough gets old).

Ustwo · 01-05-2008, 10:26 AM

If you need a list you are doing it wrong.

bparker805 · 01-05-2008, 10:40 AM

Uhh... is there anything that we do is right?

Baraka_Guru · 01-05-2008, 10:53 AM

40 mistakes, eh? Well, we must be doing something right.

<embed src="http://www.poodwaddle.com/popmap.swf" width="250" height="450" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" bgcolor="#ffffff" /><br /><a href="http://www.poodwaddle.com" title="This Clock brought to you by Poodwaddle.com">Poodwaddle.com</a>

* * *

Or maybe this should be called "40 Things for Women to Complain About." Have we seen the "40 Things from Porn That Women Fail to Do for Their Men"?

Plan9 · 01-05-2008, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by willravel

One can avoid those problems when you simply keep a dialogue open during sex. I am a thesaurus of alternatives for "How does this feel?" (because saying "How does this feel?" often enough gets old).

Will, I don't think, "UHHN! How ya like that, betch!?" counts.

...

Baraka, you have one of those population-counting spinning globes in your study, don't you? I knew it.

PonyPotato · 01-05-2008, 11:05 AM

Personal opinion: Most of the points on that list come from someone too uptight to really be enjoying themselves.

Communication (while IN the act) is important. Making a list of no-nos is just silly and asking for boring vanilla sex all the time.

Willravel · 01-05-2008, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

Will, I don't think, "UHHN! How ya like that, betch!?" counts.

It does because I SAY IT DOES!

Kaimi · 01-05-2008, 01:35 PM

If you are looking for a gentle, slow and erotic lovemaking session most of the suggestions are fine. If you like it hard and rough.. most of those "dont's" are "do's." I like a bit more adventure then some but to follow all that would bore me to bits.

... and Crompsin

Will, I don't think, "UHHN! How ya like that, betch!?" counts.)

Sometimes it does... sometimes it is exactly what is needed.

Miss Mango · 01-05-2008, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crompsin

Okay, since I just finished reading both of these:

Generally speaking, the two lists seem to cancel each other out.

What a confusing crock of crap if you read both carefully side by side.

\"Don\'t nudge her head.\" vs. \"When he nudges your head, do something.\"

\"Don\'t blow a load on her.\" vs. \"He\'s gonna blow a load on you.\"

Very funny in a George Carlin kinda way, but what the hell is anybody supposed to get out of it when they\'re direct opposites of each other?

Beginner\'s tips for the broad carnal first-time activity audience? Sure.

Real deal: Communication +1 as everybody with a brain has said.

I so agree with that.
For me, the one with Mistakes Men Make was written more light heartedly than the Womans Mistakes one.
The first one seemed to actually have some good pointers whereas the second one (for me) seemed to assume women are stupid, and exist soley for the man\'s pleasure.
I got kind of annoyed by the end of the Womens Mistakes one.

Willravel · 01-05-2008, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kaimi

... and Crompsin

Will, I don't think, "UHHN! How ya like that, betch!?" counts.)

Sometimes it does... sometimes it is exactly what is needed.

It's always needed. Even right now!

Conejo · 01-06-2008, 01:21 PM

i think number 10) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. is pretty funny and is something ill try for laughs

naota172 · 01-06-2008, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Mango

34) LOOKING FOR HER PROSTATE.
Read this carefully: Anal stimulation feels good for men because they have a prostate. Women don't.

you'd better hope your "girl" doesnt have a prostate lulz

Terrell · 01-08-2008, 07:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

You forgot "Calling her by another woman's name."

No matter how many of the above 'mistakes' you men think is BS, remember this one.

That's a mistake even if you do it outside of the bedroom, and as a joke. Especially if the woman thinks that the other woman is competition (even when she's not).

snowy · 01-08-2008, 07:44 PM

I could give a shit about half of that stuff...I'm more interested in actually doing the nasty, not breaking it down into 40 dos and don'ts.

Plan9 · 01-08-2008, 08:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by onesnowyowl

I could give a shit about half of that stuff...I'm more interested in actually doing the nasty, not breaking it down into 40 dos and don'ts.

You're saying that now... but when was the last time somebody screwed up before / during sex? Sex doesn't always just roll out like Charmin Extra-Soft... sometimes it gets stuck like that single-ply crap they insist on using in hospitals... sometimes it tears like truck stop toilet paper.

...

Okay, no more pearls of wisdom from me.

MSD · 01-08-2008, 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Conejo

i think number 10) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. is pretty funny and is something ill try for laughs

Hop out of bed, jog in place, take your pulse, have a swig of Gatorade, then go right back to what you were doing.

World's King · 01-08-2008, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct

Hop out of bed, jog in place, take your pulse, have a swig of Gatorade, then go right back to what you were doing.

In the same respect I always liked the "Go really fast, come first, jump out of bed, yell, I win. Then do a victory lap around the bed with your arms in the air."

Plan9 · 01-08-2008, 09:07 PM

I'd do that race... but then I'd feel like I missed a turn somewhere... probably back at Girly O-Town.

genuinegirly · 01-09-2008, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrSelfDestruct

Hop out of bed, jog in place, take your pulse, have a swig of Gatorade, then go right back to what you were doing.

LOL!!!

This made me laugh so much! What a funny thought!

shaman · 01-09-2008, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ItWasMe

Isn't it, though? They would probably sound better if they were called something like, oh, 'helpful hints (for beginners) of where to start' instead of 'mistakes.'

Actually considering the problems that a friend's younger sister is having in her new marraige, they need to be worded as mistakes. She has this Roses and walks on the beach view of sex that is just plain silly when both parties have to work for a living.

Plan9 · 01-09-2008, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaman

Actually considering the problems that a friend's younger sister is having in her new marraige, they need to be worded as mistakes. She has this Roses and walks on the beach view of sex that is just plain silly when both parties have to work for a living.

Sounds like a beginner to me.

shaman · 01-09-2008, 04:45 PM

Yeah that shit would be forgiveable if she was 20 and only had one or two partners before she got married. she ain and she didn't

Tophat665 · 01-09-2008, 07:32 PM

Taking the gag out.

Kidding. Kind of. A list with more than about a half dozen issues does not need to be presented. It needs to be nailed to a cathedral door so we can all fight over it for the next century.

Not learning from mistakes is the only real mistake.

Amnesia620 · 01-10-2008, 09:44 AM

I think a little bit of understanding with these kinds of mistakes (although the list at the top is hilarious) is how you get through awkward moments such as these. However, I think that the list is great advice for anyone who doesn't know.

bmadison · 01-10-2008, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Impetuous1

That list was written by a male.

Just an observation...

If this was, in fact, written by a male, how does he know what cum tastes like?!?!?!? I don't know that I want to take advice on pleasing women from a gay man, and if he's not gay, I don't want to take the advice of a man who has somehow tasted cum without it being gay.

Tophat665 · 01-10-2008, 11:59 AM

If you've never tried it, how do you know you're not gay?
Testing it out isn't gay. Testing it out with another man and enjoying it is gay. Just checking is nothing more than experience.
/ Not gay. Have checked.

01-05-2008, 10:26 AM	#47 (permalink)
Ustwo Pissing in the cornflakes	If you need a list you are doing it wrong. __________________ Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

01-05-2008, 10:53 AM	#49 (permalink)
Baraka_Guru warrior bodhisattva Super Moderator Location: East-central Canada	40 mistakes, eh? Well, we must be doing something right. <embed src="http://www.poodwaddle.com/popmap.swf" width="250" height="450" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" bgcolor="#ffffff" /><br /><a href="http://www.poodwaddle.com" title="This Clock brought to you by Poodwaddle.com">Poodwaddle.com</a> * * * Or maybe this should be called "40 Things for Women to Complain About." Have we seen the "40 Things from Porn That Women Fail to Do for Their Men"? __________________ Knowing that death is certain and that the time of death is uncertain, what's the most important thing? —Bhikkhuni Pema Chödrön Humankind cannot bear very much reality. —From "Burnt Norton," Four Quartets (1936), T. S. Eliot

01-05-2008, 01:35 PM	#53 (permalink)
Kaimi Crazy	If you are looking for a gentle, slow and erotic lovemaking session most of the suggestions are fine. If you like it hard and rough.. most of those "dont's" are "do's." I like a bit more adventure then some but to follow all that would bore me to bits. ... and CrompsinWill, I don't think, "UHHN! How ya like that, betch!?" counts.) Sometimes it does... sometimes it is exactly what is needed.

01-08-2008, 07:44 PM	#59 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I could give a shit about half of that stuff...I'm more interested in actually doing the nasty, not breaking it down into 40 dos and don'ts. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

01-08-2008, 09:07 PM	#63 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	I'd do that race... but then I'd feel like I missed a turn somewhere... probably back at Girly O-Town. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

01-05-2008, 07:16 AM	#41 (permalink)
Impetuous1 Insane Location: Arizona	That list was written by a male.

01-05-2008, 10:21 AM	#46 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	One can avoid those problems when you simply keep a dialogue open during sex. I am a thesaurus of alternatives for "How does this feel?" (because saying "How does this feel?" often enough gets old).

01-05-2008, 10:40 AM	#48 (permalink)
bparker805 is KING! Location: On the path to Valhalla.	Uhh... is there anything that we do is right?

01-05-2008, 11:05 AM	#51 (permalink)
PonyPotato Soaring Location: Ohio!	Personal opinion: Most of the points on that list come from someone too uptight to really be enjoying themselves. Communication (while IN the act) is important. Making a list of no-nos is just silly and asking for boring vanilla sex all the time.

01-06-2008, 01:21 PM	#56 (permalink)
Conejo Upright Location: Las VEgas! NV	i think number 10) STOPPING FOR A BREAK. is pretty funny and is something ill try for laughs

01-09-2008, 04:45 PM	#67 (permalink)
shaman Crazy	Yeah that shit would be forgiveable if she was 20 and only had one or two partners before she got married. she ain and she didn't

01-09-2008, 07:32 PM	#68 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	Taking the gag out. Kidding. Kind of. A list with more than about a half dozen issues does not need to be presented. It needs to be nailed to a cathedral door so we can all fight over it for the next century. Not learning from mistakes is the only real mistake. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

01-10-2008, 09:44 AM	#69 (permalink)
Amnesia620 Forget me not... Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.	I think a little bit of understanding with these kinds of mistakes (although the list at the top is hilarious) is how you get through awkward moments such as these. However, I think that the list is great advice for anyone who doesn't know. __________________ For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

01-10-2008, 11:59 AM	#71 (permalink)
Tophat665 Minion of the scaléd ones Location: Northeast Jesusland	If you've never tried it, how do you know you're not gay? Testing it out isn't gay. Testing it out with another man and enjoying it is gay. Just checking is nothing more than experience. / Not gay. Have checked. __________________ Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns. Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.