Hey Ladies... What do you find sexy in a man?
 

because it had to happen at some point...


Tell us. What are we doing right or wrong? And I promise to never wear socks with sandals or say you remind me of your mother.

Sense of humor, first and foremost.

Confidence.

Social.

Physically fit.

Intelligent.

Snappy dresser is always a bonus.

How's that for a start?

I do believe I fit all of that... :D

Bwahahaha! I *knew* you were going to say that! :lol:

integrity.
passion.
intellect.
decisiveness.
twinkle in the eye (saucy but doesn't have to be terribly gorgeous)

i don't care about...
dress sense
taste in music
sexual experience
shyness

...i don't mind a slightly chubby or ugly man so long as he's got wit and a sexy smile! i generally find macho brad-pitt-like men a TOTAL turn off x

Solid self esteem, sense of humor, intensity, instinctively being a "nice guy."

I like a sext smile, Nice eyes, Jeans and a long sleeved shirt is always sexy. I like a man who makes me laugh, whos kind, who's confident, who cares about others and who isnt an egotistical dick wad...

That abotu sums it up.

Well, after reading these responses there just might be hope for me yet!

Intelligence, sense of humour and honesty. These qualities should be the core of who they are, then there is the wish list: dark hair, muscular arms, hairy chest, big hands that are manly, not all soft and girly.....is it me or is it getting hot in here...oh yeah and he thinks I am just awesome.

OK, I'm doing OK so far I think, in the everyone-thinks-that-they're-a-good-driver kinda way. ;)

How about scars? Not huge ones, but somewhat obvious "how'd you do that?" type of scars? I have plenty of those. :D

Scars are not a problem. :)

Intelligence

Sense of humor (the blacker and more obscure the better)

Open mind (which naturally seems to follow intelligence and a good sense of humor, but just in case)

Confidence

An interest in their personal appearance, but not an obsession (aka, good hygiene, clean clothes that fit)

Good taste in books, music, movies is important to me...can't deny it. If a guy tells me his favorite movies are the Die Hard series, I simply can't fuck him :p

Intelligence, ability to make me laugh out loud, passion for whatever they do in life, a little 'badness'. And when there's a certain look in the eyes-eyes get me every time.

What I look for in a guy, generally:

Apart from anything else, I have to feel chemistry. He has to make my body tingle with excitement!

An open and friendly facial expression, that transpires some energy/vitality

able to engage in conversation with some ease, witty but also has something intelligent to say, amidst the small talk

not too hard-set in his opinions and is able to listen to others and have an amicable discussion

sincere and doesn't feel the need to play mind games, not scared of the truth

takes good care of his appearance, smells good, but isn't obssessed with what people think of him

has some degree of ambition or objectives in life

never cruel, and hopefully rarely immature, or irrational when there are problems to be solved

physically I prefer men with short or medium well cut hair, no beard, of slim build but toned, not overly hairy, and I like sparkly eyes and a cheeky grin.

also, can't smoke, spit on the ground, talk or chew with his mouth full, not signal while driving and think it's ok, make fun of/taunt me maliciously under any circumstance, must be willing to dance, must read books from time to time, be able to cook, and be willing to come to art exhibitions with me!

That's it! It's a tough one to get all in one huh?

It all comes down to the tongue for me. Quick wit springs from it, compliments must flow freely from it, and it must have incredible stamina.

If you know what I mean ;)

With "Intelligence" being so highly ranked, it's a shame it can't be seen from across a crowded room.

sense of humor that matches mine is first and foremost, I say matches mine because to me "sense of humor" does not include thinking farting is funny nor is "bathroom humor" that turns me off faster than a lot of other things

Kindness, not just to me but to everyone. Someone that automatically takes other peoples feelings into consideration.

A man that reads books, specially the same kinds of books I read (well other than romance lol I dont expect a guy to read romance books) But I LOVE reading a book and him reading the same one and being able to talk about it afterwards

A man thats not afraid to cry, I have no use for men that think thats not "manly" because in shanifaye's book...the ability to let go and cry in front of me is a must.

Protective, not in the macho "I'll beat so and so's ass" kind of way, but a man that truly understands the "why" when my feelings have been hurt.

oh and another thing I love is a man that will admit he likes chick flicks :lol: and will watch LMN with me and not complain and actually sniffle a time or two if its called for.

Come over and talk to me. :)

Honestly, people never believe this, but I have little attraction to men based solely on looks. I see men who are attractive, but it doesn't make me more eager to meet them. It is only after he expresses himself that my gears start to turn.

All girls say sense of humor. And the odd thing... I have yet to meet a girl with a decent sense of humor.


Don't know why...

awww, man

that's harsh

Lets see..
-Has to be able to have a conversation with me and understand what I'm saying (I'm into cars, motorcycles and all that, so they have to know some of that stuff to keep up with me)
-Personality/Attitude (this is part sense of humor)
-Has to put some effort into his appearance (I like a guy who's in shape and smell's good)
-Engergy (gotta keep up with me after all ;) )

Ultimately, I find personality to be the deal breaker in most cases.

because its relative, if all senses of humor were the same the world would only have one comedian. I find Eddie Izzard to be one of the funniest people I've ever watched, and then I know many people that dont find him funny at all. Just like loads of people found Richard Pryor funny....I couldnt stand him. Chris Rock? I wouldnt lose a minutes sleep if I never heard of him again but others find him as funny as I do Eddie.

Just because a person's sense of humor doesnt match yours doesnt make it any less of a sense of humor, its just not YOUR kind of humor

Actually, it can. Engrossed in conversation and looking like they're listening; not preoccupied with appearance, but not slovenly either. Being respectful of the people around them, showing manners and having an inkling of how to conduct themselves within that crowded room. All these denote a sense of intelligence, awareness and maybe even compassion and humor long before the first 'hello'.
Depends on your own sense of humor. I'm a smartass most times-some people would think that isn't funny. Plus, the younger the girl, the less 'established' a sense of humor is; I'm older-I find most everything pretty damned laughable.

By "decent sense of humor", do you mean a sense of humor like your own?
:orly:

Maybe that's why they all want a guy who has one, because they don't have one. lol

You two are the internet equivalents of a couple of guys hanging out behind the Gas N Sip, drinking clandestine beers and giving advice on women.

Yes, I know you're there "by choice", and it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that women don't like you. At all.

How great would that be if you could pick a persons intelligence by the mark on their arm. I wonder what that would do to the gene pool...

The 3 most intelligent men I've ever met all have tattoos on their arms:thumbsup:
Of course, some of the dumbest men I've met also have them....

Please.

I was reading these responses from the women and my first thought was, "man, they are so full of shit"

Seriously.

All the women I know will list the same characteristics, however, the fact of the matter is that women find a good looking guy sexy. They are just so damn coy about it. It's like they don't want to look shallow or something.

I wish I had a dime for all my artsie female friends who say "integrity" and "confidence" and "intelligence" is what turns them on, and they are set up with a guy who has all of that in spades. When you ask them how the date went, the frown and say, "there was no CHEMISTRY" What the hell is "chemistry" other than pure and simple sexual attraction - her ovaries turn on because the guy is hot.

At least twice in my life I have fallen for guys that, when seen by my friends, got an 'ew' as their commentary. Yes, chemistry is about sexual attraction, not physical attraction. There's a difference.
We can say physically, we're attracted to a certain type of look, but if that look has nothing behind it, the 'attraction' won't follow.
If all we were after is perfection, we'd buy a statue. And those that are after physical perfection (as defined by media, etc) are doomed to be disappointed and lonely.

It's not that looks aren't important, it's just that it's not the main thing. A guy can be only moderately attractive, but if he's smart, kind, enjoys the same thing in life as you, etc, then the attraction is raised to a whole new level. So, sure, there needs to be some degree of attraction to "spark" the relationship in the first place, but it's really not the most important factor. The only exception I can think of is if you're just looking for a one night stand or some other casual sex, then yeah, looks would be the main factor. But in terms of a long term relationship, looks aren't such a huge deal.

I think that there are different types of sexy. There is 'real-life' sexy and eye-candy sexy. One is the person I'd want to spend time with and the other one I'd just want to ogle for awhile.

I could make a list, but it would be pretty generic and invalid. Why? Because I don't know what makes a person sexy to me. I don't know if it's chemistry or if there is something in the whole pheromones thing. I just know that I've been attracted to a lot of different types of guys. Short, tall, red head, brunette, blonde, hippie, pothead, construction worker, military, asshole...find a connection in that and you have what I find sexy. If you find it, let me know, the only one I can see is that they are all men. :lol:

For eye-candy, I like toned, dark, and a Mediterranean-relaxed look. It's hard to describe, but I know it when I see it.

Beauty, or in this case sexiness, is in the eye of the beholder. But I will say that I enjoy being around people that make me laugh. I wouldn't consider that a sexy trait though. Just a trait that makes me want to spend time with a person. Sex can't happen 24/7, there has to be some personality to fill-in the gaps.

Wait, one trait that is sexy on everyone: self-confidence (not to be mistaken for arrogance).

If you ever saw either of my two husbands then you might find this logic to be specious. And, although I find my current partner to be very attractive, I didn't even see his face until I was well past smitten. So maybe before you start calling people full of shit, you might consider that maybe its the type of women you know and not women as a whole.

Thank you. :)

Okay.... how about...

blue eyes
dark hair
6 foot tall
thick neck
big barrel chest
nice round biceps
grabbable firm butt
lots and LOTS of dark curly hair everywhere - except for his back.
would never think of shaving anything but his face
has soft hands, and knows what to do with them
soft, full lips, and knows what to do with them
wearing red velvet boxer shorts with white fur trim (kind of like Santa would wear)
has a box of chocolates in his hand to feed me
When I go to work earlier him, he warms my car up so I won't have to go out in the cold.
Is not afraid of washing dishes
Can cook a mean steak
Low, soft, sexy voice
:D

I never said and never will say that looks don't matter but I think that there are two different answers to this question. The things that make a man sexy when you first meet them and the things that make him sexy after you get to know him.

I'd say the first part is basically all looks, but I can only speak for myself there. The other part is, as was said in the thread about what makes women sexy, confidence and how a man carries himself. I think that attractiveness is a lot about confidence as well as physical appearance.

Has it ever occured to you that perhaps your attitude of suspicion and distrust that verges on disrespect is the reason you have not found (or allowed yourself to recognize) many females who disprove your negative stereotypes?

Like finds like.

I've noticed that the eye-candy kind of women are the kind that kirk is talking about. Oh they want "integrity" and "sense-of-humor" - bullshit. They want 6-pack abs and Brad Pitt aesthetics. They want hot. No two ways around it.

And most of the time it's because they know they're exceptionally attractive themselves. It's what they're consistently complimented on (their attractiveness), so they believe that other people hold it at high regard. Similarly, they think they should be with people who are 'hot' because it's now become important to them.

I (unconsciously) like the eye-candy type because they're hot and typically imaginary. I consciously like the average attractive and above-average attractive women because they're not boring as hell. Whoever said it above had it very right - sex can only happen so often, and there's gotta be something else there to fill in the gaps.

From what I've seen, no TFP woman is "eye-candy" hot. I'm sorry, but it's my perception - most are attractive or above average attractive, but no J Lo's or Kate Beckinsales on TFP.

BUT because of that, you can pretty reliably say that what they're listing is probably what they ACTUALLY like, not what they're saying they like. They've actually been complemented on things other than their own appearance, and thus value those other characteristics in men.

Nope.

Don't take it personally and get all defensive because I have simply stated my observations and experiences concerning female behaviour.

Sorry, but it's my experience that women are very very coy about what they really want. I truly believe that women say that they are looking for all the "nice" things in a guy because it's what and how society expects them to say and behave. What they SAY they want and what they REALLY want are two different things.

Now, I'm not saying that they DON'T want all those nice things like intelligence, confidence, sense of humour, etc, HOWEVER, it is my experience that simply having all that is not enough for a man. A man who is attractive will have much more success with women than one who is not.

I realize that long term, you need to have all the "nice" qualities, but as a male, you need to get the door open and looks are what women notice first.

Ask a guy who is 5'-6" tall and who is intelligent, witty, confident, romantic just how easy it is for him to find women.

I have many female friends, and I have dated more than a few women myself. I am speaking from experience. One of my best friends is female (platonic for over 20 years.) She's a university educated, liberal thinker, English teacher. She always says that she is looking for a guy with all those "nice" qualities. I've personally introduced her to two such nice guys. She never finds them interesting and she will always say, "there's no chemistry" Why - cause they aren't hot or masculine enough to get her wet. She's not the only woman like that that I know.

It reminds me of a study they did on female response to porn. They took a sample of women and asked them what type of porn turned them on. They got such proper responses as "romantic" "soft candle-light" the sort of Fabio / Harlequin Romance thing. When they measured these women's physiological response to sexual images they found that quite the opposite was true. That all the fem porn in the world really didn't elicit much of a response, however, Uncle John and the stable hand dragging a girl into the barn and letting her have it got quite the response.

Experienced men know that women say one thing but really mean something completely different all the time.

And experienced women know enough not to be that shallow.

You're very nice to be so diplomatic, ng, but I'll just say this sounds like a bunch of horseshit.

And like a man with a big ass chip on his shoulder.

Guess what?? Most of you guys don't look anything near like Brad Pitt. Most guys are average-looking to bug ugly. Yet, most of you end up with a woman eventually. And, you still want to cry foul because you can't all have a playboy bunny and then call all women shallow?? Puh-lease.

You know what's really unattractive and unsexy in a man?

Misogyny.

Ma'am?