umpa

sj

BBtB

Well, there are alot of questions in there that only you can answer, things you probably should have addressed before now, but if your first gut reaction was to say you where never (is it really never or simply no longer? Semantics maybe but still) attracted to her then maybe thats the truth. If it is true that you don't love her then yea, this was the right thing to do. Its simply not fair for her to think you do if you don't. Breaking up is hard to do. I just went through the same thing but I was on her end. Yea it hurt, I was deeply in love with her but she was not with me, but you know she did me a favor, I am a person who deeply believes in love and would have never left her. Now I can move on and find that person who will love me the way I deserve to be loved.
You need to do some real soul searching here. Is she really the love of your life or was it simply convient to be with her? Or maybe you are just feeling guilty for hurting her. If you decide she is your true love all you can do is go to her and explain that you where confused and if its ment to be it will. I will say though, if your relationship regulary involves one or both of you saying hurtfull things to one in another its not healthy. If its a matter of convience or guilt however, you deserve to be with someone you truly love and she deserves to be with someone who loves her back. Don't feel bad. This was ultimently the right thing to do.

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Meridae'n once played "death" at a game of chess that lasted for over two years. He finally beat death in a best 34 out of 67 match. At that time he could ask for any one thing and he could wish for the hope of all mankind... he looked death right in the eye and said ...

"I would like about three fiddy"

katyg

...Really don't mix, in my experience I was a terrible partner when I smoked the stuff, it made me lazy, not appreciate things around me and frustrate all the people I cared about.

The fact that you are still thinking it over suggests that still you are unsure about what you have done, I can't see how you could possibly date somebody you never found attractive? If your sex life went well before it was probably something to do with the withdrawal. My advice would be to do some soul searching, if you think about it you never really experienced the real relationship anyway if you were always under the influence of cannabis?

If you are questioning that this person was the love of your life you owe it to both of you to understand yourself better and get to know how you feel and you'll only do that off the weed (or any other negative habits). I walked out on a partner because I couldn't quit when they asked me to and I swear it is the biggest regret of my life.

Some things are hard to take back once said, saying you never really found her attractive was foolish if you didn't know how you were really feeling - very hurtful, I'm not judging you, everyone has regrets, but rest assured that will stay with her. If you want to be with her you aren't choosing to be with her forever, you are choosing to give it a chance to happen, my advice - if you love her, get your head straight and maybe some day soon explain things to her. If you don't, leave her be. Just make sure you make the right choice for yourself and don't be scared to commit if you love her; once I did it, is set me free.

Ourcrazymodern?

It seems you have only yourself to answer to. Figure out what you think and carry on. In the OP "she was scared to be with me now because I could break her heart so much more than ever because of how drastically I had improved at being goodto her" seemed particularly heartbreaking.

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BE JUST AND FEAR NOT

umpa

Sorry can you explain what OP means? Heartbreaking to whom also? I should have said earlier that this was my first relationship which might explain my doubts.
Thanks for your opinions guys.

katyg

OP: original post. I think maybe crazymodern means you left her when it might have hurt the most. When she had the most to lose.