boink

so...just yesterday I got to work and a co worker comes over and shows me this pic on his cell phone.

without any disclamers he shows me this shot of a chick w/o her shirt but she's all brused up, like 4-5 bruses around her coller bone area.

seems he found a woman with a fetish/psychosis/desire to roll play a fight or something. I didn't really speak with him about it. I sorta pushed it away and kept working

this is a guy who likes swaping, some cross dressing and he lets his girl friends peg him. he's a 'sport fucker' (his term) lunch time conversation has revealed a fantisy about getting reared by Brad Pitt. (yes, lunch conversation can be interesting where I work)

so, he's adverntuous to say the least. racked up hundreds of notches on his belt in his 37 years(so he says)

anyway...my opinion of him is pritty dang low. IMHO, you just don't hit women. I can see a little roll play, but not bruses like that...not to mention shopping her picture around work for...what ? laughs? pride ? I'd add here that I personally have never been in a fight or thrown a fist in anger. so any attraction to violence is just beyond me.

ladies, be really careful with a new guy and his cell phone, I can't tell you how many times guys show off pics they sneek. to me this seems like a serious breech of trust, which is the bedrock of a relationship imho. I mean, I really don't get it, my gf's have been pritty importiant to me. I can't see sharing naked pics of them like a damn bag of doritos

anyway, I know I have somewhat of a pollyana view of relationships and sex. I'm a one woman guy and I don't go off the wayside really.

I'm not a prude though, I wouldn't judge a dude if he wanted to get pegged by his gf or bf whatever the case may be, but seeing these bruses just gave me the foulest feeling in my gut.

anyone think I'm just too provincial? honestly I wanted to post flyers in his neighborhood as a sexual preditor (no I'm not going to)

MrFriendly

I do know where you're coming from boink.

My view is that if two people are both consenting, then what ever they do to get themselves off is fine by me. It might not be my cup of tea, but as long as it's consenting and isn't adversely affecting anyone then It's not my place to judge.

But gloating about it to your workmates and the like is something that really rubs me up the wrong way. I just find it extremely disrespectful to your sexual partner, even if it was just a one night stand. Plus I find that 8/10 people really don't want to know or care. To be perfectly honest I'm just totally over people who think that the amount of people you fuck or how crazy the sex you have is some sort of measure of your character.

As for violence in sex, I just couldn't bring my self to do it. I'm a very passive person, I just can't fathom causing physical harm to someone, even if they're literally asking for it, and especially if I care about them.

It's just me I guess.

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boink

gloating...that's the impression I got, which indicates to me he thinks he put one over on her.

yeah I agree, I've seen several gyno shots and some full nudes that I don't think the women intended to be shared if they even knew the pics were taken...I dunno man it's like dude, I don't want to share your porn while I'm trying to get my welding done here ok?

as far as the violence is concerned...I thought, what if it was your sister/daughter ? in that case I'd be pushing her twards a therapist and if I found the dude she was with my fists could loose their verginity !

I know I may have no right to say what my non existant sister/daughter does with her partner...but you know what I'm saying.

Seaver

If they're into it that's great.. but I couldn't do it. Spanking can be hot at times, so can a little light bondage, but nothing more for me.

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Glory's Sun

Well, if the girl has a fetish for that and it doesn't go into the extreme, then so what?? I like a girl that can fight and wrestle. It's a turn on to me. I won't punch her in the face or anything but if she's into it and we all agree then there's nothing wrong with a little violence.

The dude is just trying to get a reaction out of you. In fact, that's the reason most of his sexual conversations occur. He likes the attention..good or bad. The best thing you could do is next time just give him a real nonchalant response and go about your day. It'll bug the shit out of him.

MrFriendly

This I totally agree with. When you're reaction to someone like that is that you really couldn't care less, almost as though it's really nothing new to you, then you instantly take away something that they feel makes them unique and different. That will pretty much get to anyone with vague insecurity issues, and by the sound of it this dude has plenty.

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ScottKuma

I think I might go a bit further and ask him to keep his private life....private.

But that's just me.

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cadre

My boyfriend and I don't go all out but I like a little pain and he obliges. We never take it that far though, nothing much can be seen after a day or two.

I figure if both people are consenting I don't see a problem.

One of my guy friends the other day pulled out his phone and showed me a picture of the girl he's sleeping with topless. I wasn't expecting it but it didn't bother me personally. I figure since I'm a girl maybe he thought she wouldn't mind me seeing. He didn't show the picture to my boyfriend who was sitting next to me so I guess that was his thinking.

Guys show off things, in my experience there's not much that you can do to change that except to tell them not to show you personally.

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World's King

Don't be surprised if you see him on the news after getting caught for killing a string of hookers.

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Glory's Sun

And don't be surprised if he has World's King tattooed on his body.

Daemon1313

I wouldn't really say for sure there is anything wrong. Other than the guy sounds a little creepy. But there really isn't any way of know without getting the girls input.

Fetishes can be hard for people to grasp if they don't share them. I can speak from personal experience, what he is showing you is tame. She may also get turned on by him sharing the pics, don't know.

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pamplemousse

I wish there was some kind of sexual etiquette. I had one boyfriend who used to cut me with a razor and suck the bleeding cuts. It wasn't assault, since I let him - I can't even blame craziness in my youth, since I'm still firmly in it (my youth and the crazy spell). Usually, they weren't anything serious - just meant steristrips for a week-10 days. Having said that, violence (at least, with him) could get out of hand. I don't know whether it's the same in everyone, when they see what they can inflict upon someone - it excites them[?] Sometimes it would be... more than unpleasant, and violence became uncontrollable sexual urges, which weren't nice. In fairness, he didn't care how much I scratched/bit him.

On the other hand, another guy I was with refused to go to a lecture he had the following morning because he had a few minor bruises on his neck.

How can you know what's normal? I have to agree with MrFriendly that if both people consent (or maybe more than both - however many), it's fine. The problem is, it isn't usually something you discuss before hand... It just... happens.

I'm tempted to go with the school of thought that says regretting it afterwards isn't worth it. It's all experience; it's got to be good. Then again, whatever people say about scars healing, they don't. Things can go too far - and what's too far?

Argh.

boink

thanks for all the replys people.
guccilvr, your right pritty much, I was too buissy to react at the time he showed me the pic and I haven't spoken to him aside from work related banter since. don't know if he cares or not but I agree with you.

Daemon, yeah, just about as creepy as I've met and thank god the girls in the shop know it. he looks a little like Golumn from Lord of the Rings but with a bigger nose. I would say he's smart and fun to converse with unless he gets into his own sex life. it's all 'TMI' after that.

he's playing a game now with his bar phone number sucess rate and hte strategy he uses...lately it's Far Side desk calender sheets he keeps in his pockett in hopes the cartoon will be seen as a funny querk and be rememberd.
could be cute if it wasn't a calculated strategy. he's on a mission to rack up numbers, bolth phone numbers (I closed another deal !) and quantity of sexual encounters.

pimplemousse, I know people get involved in alot of stuff...modern primitives body modds bondage etc...maybe your right too and I'm just trippin' cause I'm so far from being bored with vanella sex as far as my real life is concerned.

maybe I've also brought this on cause I've definatly held up my share of crude joking conversations. I guess for me its jokes and funny stuff I've seen/read on the web or Dan Savage columns. I don't tell how I was doing my GF the previous night, but this guy does. and when it's all bruses around the neck and collar bone it creeped me out.

tisonlyi

Showing revealing pictures of your gf to co-workers, no matter what is happening or her state, is out of order. The man is a moron. End of story.

Violence in sex? You either like it, love it, understand it or you don't.

If you don't get it, that doesn't make it universally wrong between two consenting adults.

You may guess from this that violence from light slapping to drawing blood, strangling and bruising is well within my personal boundaries.

Anyone need their 18-year-old daughter chaperoned?

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Sharon

I don't really have anything serious to say, so I thought I'd just add that...

I don't EVER share my Doritos with anybody

boink

lol

deportes

the more humans i know the better i like dogs

bobophil

pain can be easily translated into pleasure, apparently it's in the same part of the brain or something. Not a huge turn on to 3rd party observers. but bruises are a bit much for my taste.

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boink

I must agree bob...but I don't connect it with sex I guess. I get a little agressive with a toothpick sometimes ( on my teeth that is) it hurts a bit but I can feel some endorphins (sp ?) kick in and get a little woosey.