calibrich

Have you ever tried to basically see how far you could push a guy and see if he is ok when you stop as a way to test him for future serious boyfriend material?

My friend thinks he is being tested by a girl. They've only known each other for about two weeks. The last guy she was with screwed her over and was a dog about it basically. Well she is being cautious with my friend, but they do make out and stuff. But apparently she stops on a dime. And so far he says he just goes with it and acts like its no big thing.

I guess it seems like there would be better methods to check to see if he is a good dude, but I guess this is her way.

Sharon

Girls do this all the time and have probably been doing it since Eve.

mixedmedia

I flirt, but I do not tease. If I make out with someone, I mean business.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

*Nikki*

Oh yes.....

Daniel_

Is it any wonder that some guys get pissed off enough to be horrible to girls and assume that they are all prick teasing if they say no?

Teasing someone to test them is dishonesty when you think about it - if a grl did that to me as a test, I'd conclude that she had failed MY requirement to be a decent human being.

(reading that back makes it seem like I'm angry or have personal experience - I don't, but I'm glad I never met that behaviour).

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

mixedmedia

...and I'm not sure how that is testing his character. Maybe she's doing it for another reason?

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

calibrich

When I said testing his character, I meant as in making sure he isnt just using her for sex. That way she can push the limits and if he doesnt flip out, then he might be into her for other reasons than sex.

Thats at least what we are thinking.

World's King

I'm not a girl and I do it all the time.


And I even go so far as to test myself.

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heavy is the head that wears the crown

Sharon

So there you are, giving yourself some lovin'... and you stop to see if you still want more?

Lizra

So weird! If a guy would put up with such silly manipulative behavior....I would consider him too stupid for "future boyfriend material" .....

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Happy atheist

Acetylene

It is comforting to a girl to be able to make out and cuddle without HAVING to have sex every single time. It's also nice to take it slow with a new man. Perhaps she is just enjoying herself and taking her time.

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There's no justice. There's just us.

cadre

Haha I did the taking my time thing with my boyfriend accidentally. He was a virgin (which I didn't really know cause we didn't discuss it) and apparently I was very cruel. He says he had blue balls for the entire time! Haha but he didn't do anything about it so I told him that's why.

Other than that I don't tease without a reason. If I tease my boyfriend it's part of the foreplay, I figure I'd want the same courtesy.

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My life is one of those 'you had to be there' jokes.

mixedmedia

....ahhhhh, m'okay. Well, I would agree that that's kind of manipulative. Maybe he should just talk to her about it.

__________________
Most people go through life dreading they'll have a traumatic experience. Freaks were born with their trauma. They've already passed their test in life. They're aristocrats. - Diane Arbus
PESSIMISM, n. A philosophy forced upon the convictions of the observer by the disheartening prevalence of the optimist with his scarecrow hope and his unsightly smile. - Ambrose Bierce

World's King

Kind of...


The other day I hung out with a beautiful 19yr old girl with the most amazing rack I have ever seen. She wants me. Very badly. Nothing happened. Just talked.

It just shows me that I have no desire to cheat on my girlfriend.

__________________
heavy is the head that wears the crown

snowy

Agreed. I generally try to avoid teasing, but it has gotten me into trouble in the past. I LOVE to tease my SO, but he knows if I tease him throughout the day, he'll be getting some that evening, and if I tease him in the evening, it's a promise of morning sex.

But teasing a guy as a test? No, I've never done that, and I never would. Like MM said, if I make out with someone, I mean business.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

Daniel_

We've all done that.

Flirting or looking is not cheating or teasing in my book - but if I was single, out with a girl on a "date" and she was leading me on then switching direction to say "NO" at the last minute, I'd certainly respect her wishes, but I'd not be too likely to go on a second date.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

MSD

That doesn't sound like teasing, it sounds like she's afraid of enjoying it too much and losing control of herself. It would be best for both of them if she explained to him that she got fucked over really badly by her ex and wants to take things slow because she still isn't fully comfortable yet. Since you know him better than you know her, maybe you could suggest that he mention that he knows her ex was an asshole and wants to make sure she's comfortable in the relationship (if you could even call something with someone you've known for two weeks a relationship.)

Toaster126

Yeah... this is something girls do. Women don't.

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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

serlindsipity

teasing? its a fucking hobby of mine. Its the sexual version of button pushing!

As for the test for BF material, mmmmm, not so much. its more of a game, and usually when something fails, we walk away. I'd keep your buddy in check with that fact, he may win or lose (or both) but that never works well (for long)....

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calibrich

Just an update. She is "technically" a virgin so that explains a lot now.

Sharon

Ahhh...

Toaster126

HAHAHAHA! Yes... yes it does.

__________________
"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand)
"The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck)

match000

So what do women do instead of sexual teasing?

abaya

Yep, that does explain a lot. When I was very much a virgin, and wanted to remain that way until marriage (when I was about 19)... I suppose I was the epitome of a cocktease, but not consciously. I still think it helped ruin the relationship, though... but at the time, I thought all he wanted was to get in my pants, and I was being the noble/pure one, etc etc. (Being at an evangelical university didn't help, since there were actually people who waited until their WEDDING DAY for their first kiss, etc.)

Anyway, I was with my boyfriend at the time for about a year, and all we ever did was make out. He was 22. Occasionally it was horizontal, sometimes hot and heavy, but our clothes ALWAYS stayed on. I think once he got a hold of my bare breast and it traumatized me... yeah, I was a real barrel of fun back then. Granted, he was a virgin ("technical" in his case) as well, and intended to wait till marriage... but I think he would have liked to get past, like, 2nd base...

Gaaah, evangelical bullshit... in my opinion.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

SexyCat

What is a "technical" virgin? I thought you either were one or were not.

Sharon

Technical virgin = one who hasn't had sex, but has done practically everything else? I think

calibrich

She never had full on sex, never even touched a penis, but one guy apparently went down on her and used fingers, so she at least messed around.