I did somthing really stupid
 

Kissing other girls?

next time, invite him to join? :D

lol i dont think that would be a likley course of events... if only cause it would feel wrong???

Cheating is bad. Shame on you. Feel bad and don't do it again and maybe you'll be forgiven.

I think you should have at least gotten your money's worth and enjoyed it. Did you say you were with 3 others? Damn. A situation like that needs to be enjoyed. Were they all women or was there a penis involved?

You do realize its fairly unbecoming to .. oh.. stumble accidentally into a group sex situation and talk about it later like it was one of those cartoon fight clouds that roll down the street, gobble up random people and spit them out a little ways down the road with them appearing dazed and confused. TAKE MORE RESPONSIBILITY!

Write down and detail your explicit feelings on what made this experience so horrible. Not for him but for you. The more you can be clear with yourself about the awfulness of this experience, the less likely you will be to repeat it.

I suspect that the guilt of cheating isn't the only ember here. Try to figure out what aspect of the sex was traumatic as well. Maybe you're not as attracted to women as you thought. Maybe the foursome dynamic was humiliating and dominating. What about the feeling of losing control or shame about your old high school obsession.

Breaking your feelings down and defining the causes of your fallout anxiety is very important to do before you can confidently commit yourself to your boyfriend again. It will help you better communicate with him at the very least.

Good luck and chalk this one up to mistakes to learn from.

there was no penis involved attached or otherwise
and i know i am the only one at fault here i am the only one really to be responsible for it i just didnt want to add details...

Don't be so hard and dramatic. He's a guy. If he's worth his nuts, he probably used the mental image of you and 3 other girls as spank material.

Ding!

You've done what you can do. Told him the truth. For overcoming the event yourself, fresnelly has the right idea. As far as being forgiven. That's not your choice. If he is capable of it, great, if not, so be it, but you've done your part in being completely honest with him about the situation.

i appriciate every coment

Halx = win

Poundpuppy, cheatings bad but you did the best you could "after the event"...just try doing the best you can before the event.

great, please refer to a thread in general discussion for my comment....

no dick really changes nothing. You feel like you've cheated and he's felt like it so its cheating. That's the way it is.

3 things happen, he forgives you and you move on.... he lets yous tay with him but he resents you or he dumps you for cheating on him.

Regardless of what pop culture might state, not every man gets horny over the thought of their woman wanting to have group sex or be with other women. Some men want their GF to be their lover and theres alone. Which is standard. While I might sound mean, I'm glad you feel horrible about what you did because you should.

However, now if you want to save the relationship you've got to make sure that he knows it and that you won't cheat again... which is probably impossible to promise him since he no doubt never suspected you would in the first place.

But kudos on telling him, that was a brave thing to do.

This feels fake, like it was posted just to get the guys going.
Or am i just that cynical?

I had that impressions, too. My response stands either way.

hehe, hagatha, you're probably cynical, but in a healthy way. :)

I think that this might be a bogus post too.
How do you 'accidently' get involved in a group sex situation?
Was there alcohol and/or another drug involved?
How did it occur?

I'm trying to picture this. You're sitting with some girlfriends fully dressed watching tv, gossipping, eating some snacks......OOPS, I'm naked....WHOA, you're naked. Hey, let's just get it on! The rest I can picture in my head just fine *pause to enjoy the visual*

I mean seriously, I'm just curious as to how this would occur.

Now, stop being a dramatic person. You did it, you have a story, get over it. If he leaves, he leaves and he wasn't the one for you. No reason to beat yourself up for something that already happened, although I personally think you wanted it and enjoyed it, but you are having a moral dilemma about it. Just my take.

It usually is a turn on for a guy to think about his girlfriend doing some other girl. I think though that if it is done in a betraying manner then it probably isn't a turn on! Even though the thought of lesbians is hot, he might be thinking, oh my god is my girlfriend a lesbian? Am I not satisfying her?

I think basically all you can do right now is understand his feelings and prove how sorry you really are. Some people can move past this kind of thing. Some cannot move past it though, and I think you should prepare yourself for that situation.

This thread is useless without pictures.



Anyway. Feel bad. Fine. That makes sense. You feel you betrayed your boyfriend. But c'mon. Did he forgive you? Does he even give a shit. I know if my girl friend cheated on me with three girls I would be pretty damn happy about it. My girls likes eating pussy as much as I do. Kick ass.

Either step up and get the fuck over it or... Call me next time it happens.

.. im pretty sure he is not going to break up with me
... It's a real event if i wanted to get people riled up
A) use a fake name
and
B) Put in gory details

I've give this to you as I would rate it for myself. I would never be with someone that would cheat on me. The onlything that might save it for me would be the lack of lying. You have only that going for you. That and only that. I might personally be able to accept it continue to know you, but I wouldn't stay in the relationship. If this guy is as good as he sounds then you don't deserve him. I'm not trying to be mean to you or tell you that you're the worst scum on earth, I am only giving my opinion. For me it wouldn't matter if it was a 3 girls or 3 guys or even a mix of the three. Cheating is cheating.

What you have going for you is this. Your man isn't me; therefor he may be more accepting then I would be. Good luck with whatever happens but should it come down to it and he leaves you please understand you deserve it, so don't look around at everyone you know seeking pity. Please also understand something. If he stays with you it's all going to change. You need to understand that you may spend year and years trying to gain respect and trust back for him, because he's probably not going to trust you at all.

Sorry if this sounds mean to you but it's just how I feel. Good luck I guess.

Take some responsibility for yourself, girl. You cheated. I would try to figure out how you did something that you "didn't want to do" to "the sweetest man in the world". That's crazy talk. I hope one of those is a lie or you might have to add crazy to the list. :)

YES. totally agree. If you didn't want to do it, you wouldn't have done it.

You wanted to do it enough that when you did the deed, you made the decision to betray the man you love. ie. This feels good, let's do it and screw the consequences.

Could you describe, in detail, the events that happened during your foursome?

I might be a little conventional when I determine what is cheating and what is not.... But damn... I would be proud as hell if a gf of mine came home and told me she had a lesbian foursome... But then again... You dont know exactly how you will react until it has happened to you.

All i'm going to say is that if it'd been a guy, we'd mostly be tearing you apart for cheating.

Seeing as it was with another girl... I have to wonder why you'd have to do such a thing without him. Does he really not want to be involved with you and another girl?

Oh, and don't kid yourself, there's no such thing as "didn't want to, but did it anyway". You did it. Your feelings on it are immaterial and inconsequential once you actually do it. Just wanted to make that fairly clear.

That being said, I have to wonder what the other 3 girls have to do with it... were they involved in the sexual activity at all? Or just with each other, maybe nearby?

You had a choice, and you made your decision.

i don't think a guy would have a 4some with 3 other buddies and then feel guilty with his gf. plus, noone would admit it here...

Gender sameness negates nothing; cheating is cheating

For you maybe. There's quite a difference for me. If my girlfriend cheated on me by having some other dude shove his dick into her it would be much more traumatic for me than if she did it with another girl.

More traumatic, sure. Its still cheating.

.....LMAO!

i dunno for me I would probably be more pissed off if my GF cheated on me with another woman. While I have no problem with same sex relationships, if I didn't know my GF was bi or bi curious and found out she just got it on in a 4some with a bunch of her girl friends behind my back then I would be furious, I don't know to many other ways to enmasculate someone then saying.

"Honey, I have something to tell you, I love you and all but last night I went to a friend's and they all went down on me in a mutual lesbo orgy"

"Get out"

I kinda got to agree with jth, if I had to find out about her cuirousitys after like that I think it would be to much for me to get over. But then I also think anything like that should be as a couple. I am open to just about anything my wife would like to try but we should both be there. I think if one or the other is missing its the start to the end..

This whole cheating with a girl vs. with a guy is interesting. Thinking about it, I'd probably be way more pissed initially if she cheated with a dude. But over time, I think the 3 chicks would be equally disturbing, thinking of the kinda stuff she was capable of without me... I think it'd be pretty crap either way.

I think most of you are too hard on her and the rest are getting excited like dogs around a bitch on heat. Give the girl a break!

I don't think the fact that it's another girl and not a guy makes that much of a difference. I had a friend whose gf dumped him for another girl and that was pretty traumatizing for him.

And I also think that how we react will also depend on our environment and our age. I'm much more accepting of cheating and especially cheating with the same same gender now than when I was 18-22.

I also think that we have have fetishes/fantasies that yearn to be fulfilled and when the opportunity arises, we take them and then realize that it isn't that great anyway. I say.. "Way to go, girl. You did something that you've always dreamed of doing and you did it. You realize now that it isn't all it was made up to be and your infatuation with her didn't turn out to be as mind blowing as you had thought. Chalk that up to another experience and move on."

While it must be difficult now and you probably feel more awful than your man, let time heal the wounds. If you move on from it, your man probably will as well. Don't harp on it and take the cue from your man. If he doesn't mention it, don't talk about it and act like it's bygones.

This can be easily rectified by inviting your boyfriend to have an orgy with all of your friends next time

I am not really okay with cheating, and your ability to find yourself in the middle of such an unlikely dogpile would make me question whether or not you were a suitable long-term mate....that being said, as a boyfriend, I would very much like to be "in" on that kind of action....so I'd probably forvige you and beg for a threesome until the end of time.

BAD is in the mind of the feeler. If it felt bad while you were doing it why not squirm from the midst and go home?

Clearly this is a tricky situation that needs to be handled delicately if you want a positive outcome. I would suggest that your only option is to do it again and this time, video it.