AfterBurn

Backstory: I thought this girl was my friend, she had a boyfriend but then apparently they broke up. In class SHE asks me to go to the gym with her, I say hm ok. But sensing this was some weird trick I decided to call her ex boyfriend and tell him that she asked me to go to the gym with her. Then tonight I get this crap on MSN (sorry for the msn speak):

me: i dunno, everyone just seems to be upset with me or something
her: no , how can we be? did you give any of us a reason to be?
me: not that i know of
me: so what about the gym thing? u still wanna go?
her: how the hell did you even imagine in a million years that I would actually go with you!!!!!
her: that was a foul move
her: now I know who you are
me: lol what do u mean
me: u asked me, i didnt ask u..
her: I asked you for one reason only!
her: I was curious to know if you'd tell my (ex)bf
me: haha what
her: I would have never went anywhere with you without my (ex)bf
me: lol i knew it was a trick
me: loll
her: not even know that me and him are friends
me: did i pass?
her: no you didn't
me: how come?
her: you should've said hell no from the beginning if you had any respect for either me or exbf
me: hm? i thought friends go to the gym with friends
her: not girls with guys
me: how come? since we both know nothing would happen
her: it's the principles
me: ;/ dumb
her: no it's not
her: because honestly ... I can't stand you ...
her: I couldn't stand you from the moment you asked me if I wanted to be friends with you or more than that
her: that takes guts but that's not how it's done
her: and you never took my signals
her: you just proved to me what kind of a person you are ...
me: ? i thought we would just go to the gym then work out and leave
me: its nothing major
her: NEVER!!!!
me: o well
her: and not any guy
me: thats fine
her: not even for a coffee
me: lol ok
me: so u cant stand me eh? hrm k
me: this will be remembered

so how exactly am I at fault here? she asked me to goto the gym and I was supposed to say no? what? I thought I made it clear before that we were just friends..Is she just crazy?

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Mister Coaster

You did nothing wrong. I'd stay away... FAR away from this girl.

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ShaniFaye

well the girl as obviously wired really differently...but Im a little confused as to why you felt the need to report her asking you to an EX...stressing the word EX bf?

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joemc91

She's insane, that's all there is to it. Why would you ask her exboyfriend about going to the gym with her? It's of no consequence to him, especially if you're just going as friends.

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AfterBurn

because once they "broke up" and i wanted to be nice and asked her to come to the movies with me as a friend since she was upset..then the same day they got back together and I got threatening phone calls from the boyfriend for asking her to the movies..

Well I thought we were going as friends but I decided to call him anyway to make sure it's alright with him, it was weird that she invited me, I guess I wanted more info about it..

I also just found out that she blocked and deleted me from MSN and also her cell phone...What the hell did I do to this girl to make her hate me so much Also since we go to the same school and I want to be on good terms, is there anyway to fix this mess?

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Halx

I love it. This is the main reason why I can't stand younger women.

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shesus

She is insane. Completely insane. She's into game playing and using her 'girl power' to fuck up guy's brains for fun.

She hates you? Good, take that as your reason for staying away from her.

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pig

hmmm...when i read this, i thought more along the lines of "she got stone cold busted, her ex said something to her about it, she's now trying to cover her ass." seriously... a test? to see if you'd go to the gym with her? that's about the stupidest thing i've heard of. if she wanted to "test" you somehow, offer to suck your dick or something. and who in the hell "tests" people? answer: no one. i really wouldn't worry about this too much. is her ex a friend of yours? what's his opinion of her? is she just smoking hot or something? i couldn't be around someone like that for more than a few minutes, voluntarily...but if that rule was bent, it would have to be because she was just infuriatingly attractive to make up for apparent lack of intelligence or logical facilities. at least that's my take based on this limited exchange.

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World's King

She's mad at you for no real reason. Girls are the only ones that can do this. Guys seem to need a reason to not like someone. Girls just do it. Wake up in the morning and can't find their fav pair of undies and the first person they talk to is the Devil. It's a wonder that we've survived for so long. I'm amazed I've ever had sex. Or anyone for that matter.


Fuck her. If she wants to be a moron and play games then you need to drop her like a crack habbit. Unless it's really good crack with a nice ass and great tits and there is a chance that you can fuck it later on down the road...

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cj2112

Forget about her, seriously. my first impression is that this girl thrives on drama. As far as school is concerned, I would treat her as any other girl on campus that I did not know and wasn't terribly interested in, that is I would be polite, but indifferent.

skier

no. there is nothing you can do. Her inviting you to the gym was a retarded little test she gave you to see how you would react; there may not have even been a way to pass it. If you you somehow manage to patch things up you can expect many more tests and bullshit and hoops she would want you to jump through, most of which the sensible, reasonable reaction will be the wrong answer.

Just move on

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AfterBurn

they broke up but are still friends I guess. The main problem here is that we both have a few classes together and have the same hangout spot on campus where we meet up with our friends..and she is also friends with some of my friends. I would rather patch things up than have her forever hating me.

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pig

see, i don't think it was a test at all, unless she has a history of stupid-ass histrionics like this. i think she made that whole bit up after the ex called her and said "so why in the fuck are you inviting old Afterburn to the gym, anyways? He called me to ask about it. What the hell are you doing? You wanna fuck him? Is that what this is about?" If he threatened to beat your ass for asking her to the movies, after they were broken up and/or if you asked her to go in a casual way...they're probably both idiotic drama queens and you'd be best to steer clear.

Unless you've just got your heart set on fucking this chick. If that's case, best of luck. I can't think of a woman hot enough to put up with that junk unless you just happen on to her at party or something. If so, wear your standard-edition Richard Nixon mask and deny it ever happened afterwards.

edit: saw your post. regardless, put her on mute. acknowledge her existence, read the paper. talk to someone else. when she talks to you, answer her questions and move on. i personally wouldn't put up with that shit, and if she realizes she's not pushing your buttons it'll probably just blow over. if either one of them confronts you about it, i'd just tell them you don't have time for this bullshit.

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AfterBurn

Yeah I'm sure the ex called her and complained. But if they broke up, why the hell should it matter? and why didn't she say that yeah she was going to go to the gym with me as friends or otherwise, they're broken up anyway. Why such hate for me anyway?

What happened with the movie thing is that that broke up and I asked her to go to the movies with me as friends, then at the end of the day they got back together and the boyfriend called me and was bitching to me for inviting "his girlfriend" to the movies and how it's none of my business if they broke up. I didn't want this to happen again so I played it safe and called the boyfriend, he was ok with it but she went insane. Does this make sense?

Would it be safe to still be around them? Would it still be ok to hang out with her ex boyfriend, he said he didn't have a problem with any of this since she asked me..Would he also have something against me because of her hate for me?

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Toaster126

There is a life lesson hidden here.

Don't interact with crazy bitches.

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pornclerk

Wow how old is she like 14? Sounds very childish and immature. Avoid her at all cost!

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Daniel_

I agree with the general feeling here - she's a pure gold plated nut job.

As the song says "run to the hills".

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AfterBurn

haha I knew she was crazy from day 1. But I guess I don't have to do the running since she's blocking/deleting me from everywhere..I wonder what she will do in school on Monday.

any predictions?

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pig

see, in my opinion this is your mistake. other than as an instructional exercise, don't worry about figuring out why people do stupid shit. he may have just mentioned it to her, he may have given her the 3rd degree over it. people do stupid shit when emotions are involved. regardless, if you're trying to figure out why she did anything she did, it could very likely be that you're caught up in some fucked up codependent game they are playing with each other. i've seen this shit before. the girl in question shat in her own closet one night because she was too drunk to make it ten feet to the bathroom. that's not smart. these people don't make the kind of decisions one might expect. they are wily like that. you have limited information. you are likely to always have limited information. what you can say, or at least i can say, is that this shit is fucked up. i'd drop it there and worry about something else.

my take is classic alpha male shit. he saw you moving on territory he felt he still had some claim over. it does sound to me like you were making the first moves to get into the panties. how long had they been broken up? my guess is that he didn't consider her to be stale yet. it also depends on how tight you and he are. sounds like you're part of the same circle, but not really tight. that's a tough situation to navigate. i'd say steer clear...but again, her making the move to ask you to gym...i see no way you should feel bad about that in the least, or worry about any of this kgb test horseshit. that sounds like rationalization on her part.


safe to be around them? you'll find out. will he have something against you? my take is 50/50, depending on whether or not they hook up again. even if he doesn't really have anything against you, they'll probably manufacture some as a part of the bond between them if they're getting it on. its hard to hang out with a chick, when she sees you and says some crap about you trying to get into her shorts. he either gets into an argument with her about how ridiculously stupid her position is, which keeps him from getting laid...or he agrees with her and things move along. pussy trumps kind-of-friend every time.

edit: edit, Afterburn, i forgot the obvious solution. she was trying to make the ex jealous by inviting you to the gym, and/or making the appearance of being interested in you. maybe she is attracted to you, maybe she's not. regardless, who broke up with whom? particularly if she got dumped, she was looking to piss him off, and/or get him back.

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AfterBurn

I think she got dumped, but not too sure on the details. But if she was trying to make him jealous then it looks like her plan worked since he knows that she asked me to go to the gym. Why then the hate for me?

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pig

because she's being irrational and melodramatic. if that was her plan, then now that she's done with it, she wants her hands clean. the best way to do that, from a rather juvenile standpoint, is to push you away. the best way to do that is to be a bitch. i doubt its really a conscious act, but that's my experience. if people want to forget something ever happened, then they tend to treat it in ways that will most likely result in not having to deal with it.

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AfterBurn

Maybe, except that her plan probably backfired and the ex boyfriend told her to go away and she's taking her anger out on me. Oh well, her choice.

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ratbastid

She's an infant for playing this game.

You're an sucker for getting hung up on her playing it.

The only person who comes out of this looking good is the ex-boyfriend.

When you're a bit older, and the women you're interacting with are a bit older, you'll see this all for the trivial soap-opera drama that it is. Trust me: you don't WANT to salvage this one. She's not worth salvaging.

AfterBurn

Oh, I know that, I don't really care about her but I do want to make my time at school enjoyable not miserable.

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Jozrael

Whoa. Reminds me of games with my ex. And they were child's play compared to this.

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun.

AfterBurn

Well if this was a game to her the only thing she accomplished is maybe getting shit from her ex. I lose nothing (I think).

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fresnelly

I agree wholeheartedly that you should distance yourself from them, seek companions elsewhere and concentrate on the classwork. Leaving this drama behind is the utmost goal.

You asked what will happen on Monday during your next class together.

I suspect that not only will she ignore you, but that she will make a big attention grabbing production of ignoring you. Expect lots of noisy paper shuffling and chair shifting and strained head turns.

Enjoy it as a comedic performance out of the corner of your eye, and keep to yourself. Don't get drawn in or react (her goal), but focus on your work instead.

If she does confront you, repeating her indignations and so on, for goodness sake, don't try and argue with her or try to reason with her as you've done here. She'll be sticking to her outraged script and baiting you. Just look bored, exude closure and try to let her Jerry Springer routine pass harmlessly through you.

Of course, she could skip the classes altogether. Win for you and yet more evidence of immaturity from her.

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AfterBurn

Thanks for the advice. What about the ex boyfriend, should I also stay away from him? Should I let him know about this incident?

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fresnelly

I'm not really clear on how intimate your prior friendship was with him, but in any case, I'd stay open to him, but not hang out with him.

In other words, be friendly, say "hey" when you see him, but let him initiate any conversation or activities rather than you. In situations where you run into the two of them together, say at a party, acknowledge him with a knowing "what can you do look?" and the girlfriends unpredictable behavior can become your shared little joke.

Otherwise, steer clear and give them room.

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Konichiwaneko

Worldking, sometimes it works the other way. Sometimes girls just don't randomly hate somebody...they just randomly sex up people too. I still remember a girl who didn't like me just out of the blue changed. It was...interesting.

/walk away scary lady

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ShaniFaye

/threadjack

heh, thats the stuff romance novels are made of Konichiwaneko, sometimes extreme dislike turns into raw lust hehehehe Its happened to me with more than one person

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Konichiwaneko

//que nerd

Also happened to Riker and Ensign Ro! Rar.

Knowing that though, Afterburn the best thing to do is be true to yourself. Girls can be random like this, but guys can do.

Situations like this is why some people say girls and guys just don't understand each other.

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analog

I agree. She is a crazy bitch.

spectre

I think this sums up everything in this thread perfectly.

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jth

yeah man this Girl is Nuts, If she didn't already block you on IM already I would have gotten her off your buddy list fast.

She's off the page.

It's kind of impressive really.

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AfterBurn

haha, impressive how? I'm still sort of sad that I somehow got someone to hate me this much..I was always nice to her and all then bam, I'm enemy #1.

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JumpinJesus

Afterburn,

That's how crazy works. If we could make sense of it, it wouldn't be crazy. Whatever her reason for treating you the way she did, it was still crazy. Honestly, the only thing I could say to you is to wash your hands of her. Many years ago, I might have been thinking over this like you are now. However, the person I've become now wouldn't think about it anymore.

If she approached me to talk to me on Monday, I'd be honest and say, "Listen. There was a time I thought maybe we could be friends, but let's face it: You seem to have a serious personality disorder. I am wasting no more of my time on you. You can leave now."

I mean honestly, do you really want to be friends with someone like this?

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AfterBurn

Excellent point. Thanks!

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AfterBurn

Update: Today at school, I went out for a smoke but I forgot my lighter so she came up to me and started trying to light the cig for me.. she then said "sorry for being such a bitch" I said ok and left..And avoided her for the rest of the day..What the heck

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Leto

Good man.

She's an ass. You can give her that message from me if you want. I've been to the gym many times with friends who are female.

I would continue to take the advice of your friends here. Stay away from her. she's not worth your time, effort or anxiety...