Help! My girlfriend can't orgasm!
 

Ok, that's not entirely true, she can, but it's definitely not the norm. Though we've only been together for about four months, she's been sexually active for years. She claims, however, that I was the first guy to give her an orgasm. From conversations with her friends, I gather that this is true and not her just saying something to boost my ego. Obviously, she's excited to have more now that she knows what it's like, which is where the problem comes in.

By FAR the most consistent way for her to cum is for her to be on top. The problem is that she seems to only be able to get herself there maybe 40-50% of the time. And when she can't, it tends to put her in a nasty mood for at least an hour afterwards because she's, understandably, disappointed. Both for the reason that I'd like my girlfriend to completely enjoy sex and feel fulfilled herself and for the reason that I'd like to enjoy sex all the way through and not deal with an unhappy girl for the rest of the night, I'm looking for any advice you people might have.

I've asked her what I do that she likes and don't likes and have a few ideas, but what she consistently says is that "My OCD kicks in and I start thinking about random stuff and I lose the moment." I have a hard time controlling what's in her head and she's in control of the movements in that position for the most part, so it's not like I'm riding away and she's totally disengaged from the activity (you know the movie stereotype I'm talking about). Lasting is never a problem for me in that position, so I'm at a bit of a loss for things I can do to help.

So I ask you, good people of the TFP, what are your suggestions for helping my g/f reach climax more consistently and, when she can't, ensure that things go as happily and smoothly as possible? Thanks in advance.

talk dirty to her, dont give her time to think, problem solved.

That's good advice! And have her talk dirty *back* to you.

Try playing music. That is what I do when I need to shut up the part of my brain that is distracting me from something. Also make sure she is getting consistent exercise to burn off some of the anxious energy that contributes to uncontrolled thoughts, that she eats well and regularly, that she sleeps enough, etc.

Is she able to orgasm when she masturbates? She might need to spend some time "training" herself on how to respond to stimulation. At first, she could do this on her own (masturbating to orgasm), then later involve you while masturbating. Then after that is mastered, move on to 'other' activities. Good luck.

quick sidenote: when I first saw the title of this thread, I read it was "Help! My children can't orgasm!"

Yikes.

Multiply your foreplay time by at least 2. The more hungry she is, the less likely she is to become distracted.

Accept the fact that some women cannot orgasm from penetration, no matter what sexual position they are in. Maybe your gf is one of these women. Tell her to masturbate while you are f*ing her. Or bring her to orgasm orally, then get yours.

Well, I was gonna go with my first response of 'Give her my number' but I'll hold off on that...


Pay attention to only her. Rub her, lick her, touch her, fuck her... only her. Don't give her a chance to think about whether or not she left the iron on. Cause I'm pretty sure after she comes she's not not gonna give a shit.

i have the same problem with my girl/
try to extend your for play i mean:
touch her, massage her whole over her body
talk dirty, slap her- not hard (unless she like it).
play with her make her say i want you in now, continue to drive her crazy
and then....
o.k u know the rest... hope it will help

Well...last time I had a girlfriend I had the same problem...but that was becuase both of us were sexually inexperienced and I think I was slightly selfish in the sex department...Sorry man, I have no advice for this one.