Vincentt

There is a difference in being busy, and just not calling because you think it will make you look 'busy'.

Waiting a predetermined amount of time is ridiculous. If you are in, you're in. If not, then you aren't. No amount of waiting to call is going to change that.

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ShaniFaye

oh god!! boy do I remember those days hehehe

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

FallenAvatar

As far as I am concerned when it comes to a relationship there are only a few rules; none of which involve a three-day-callback rule.

1. Treat your partner with respect; basically treat them how you wish to be treated yourself. Trust me you will be held accountable for everything.
2. Give your all. A relationship isn't a game. If you're playing your love life like a game you're more then likely going to lose. Game over. If you aren't interested or you only want your partner for what they can do for you, you should probably smack yourself.

These are just a few ideas I think you should try an approach things with. Now granted if you're just looking for a lay I'd say just call back. Be honest and straight forward. Most people are looking for confidance in a partner; honestly and a straight forward attitude will most likely help you succeed.

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Fetch me the spirit, the son and the father,
Tell them their pillar of faith has ascended.

genuinegirly

I like Analong's response. ShaniFaye, your comments made me think to point it out. Looks like you're not the only one that has brains & isn't overly needy that doesn't like to wait.


My opinion:

If they're interested, why didn't they call sooner? I once gave my number to a guy who waited just under a month to call. I didn't want a date at that point. I was no longer in the market. When you give someone your number, you expect a reasonable response. 3 -5 days is understandable if you're busy. A week (or month!) down the line - it's just confusing. They've already given up.

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"Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq

"violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

ShaniFaye

I just want to clarify its not that I dont like to wait lol I fully understand if the guy is busy, its being made to wait because some idiot decided that men would look desperate if they didnt wait a certain amount of time to pick up the damn phone hehehe

Im interested in grown ups that can think for themselves and not depend on "society" to tell them what they should know in their gut, IF they are interested enuff in the person to contact them.

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

snowy

JJ, I gotta say, I really love this post.

Any rule regarding dating is just a cheap excuse to play mindgames, and in the end, games don't lead to productive, long-lasting, HEALTHY relationships.

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If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

IT2002

I am sorry if you think that having an effective way of filtering out undesireable women is "childish". I understand that the frat boy scenario is more often the case.

Also, let's look at why this "rule" originated. Sometimes women give their number out and then the next day they are sorry that they did and blow the man off without an explanation. What is the man to think? He must have seemed overly eager and scared her off. Sometimes the man cares enough to follow this childish rule. People don't always tell the truth when blowing someone off. Many times "I need my space" means "I just don't like you."

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It doesn't even feel like whatever time it is.

Sultana

Then they should look for someone else who doesn't play games. Someone who speaks the same language.

If you're honest, you're better off with another honest person. If you're a game-player, then I guess you're better off with another game-player. Either way, you gotta be yourself and filter out those those who are not good matches.

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

Daniel_

DING DING DING we have a winner.

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╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
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ShaniFaye

I'll give you 3 days to deliver my prize....in person

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I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

MSD

Strict rules for dating are based on asserting dominance by manipulating someone and creating a psychological hold on them, and if you feel that everyone should follow them please go to your kitchen, find a sharp object capable of excising you reproductive organs, and remove yourself from the gene pool so that rational people can populate the world. If you've had it drilled into you that the rulese are the rules and are willin gto try to forget about them, read on.

That said, I do have a few suggestions of things that not everyone has tried. These are certainly not rules, although I do strongly reccommend considering the rationale behind my method of giving and getting numbers in order to increase your chances and help judge whether someone is giving you their number to get rid of you or because they're genuinely interested.


If you want to cut the bullshit and be sure there's mutual interest, it's a good idea to be specific. Here are some examples:

Person getting the number:
Option 1: "Would Monday evening be a good time to call? ... OK, I'll call you around 6 on Monday."
Option 2: "Is there any time you'd prefer I call? ... You're busy until Thursday but will be home mid-afternoon? I'll give you a call around 3 then."

Person giving the number:
Option 1: "So, when should I expect to hear from you? I have a busy schedule and if you know you'll be free I can tell you if I'll be around or if you should leave a message."
Option 2: "I'm at work and going to a friend's place tomorrow, but if you call me on Monday night I should be free."

The trick here is that you can prove that you're both reliable, and both of you know that there's genuine interest. The ideal thing to do is exchange numbers just in case someone loses it (you're probably both drunk when you meet, right?)

As for the number of calls, leave a brief but not boring message that clearly identifies you (name, where you met,) either leave your number if you didn't give her yours, don't leave it if you did (you'll see why in a bit,) mention something you talked about ("It was cool to find someone else who likes to talk about philosophy as much as I do,") or what you did ("I had a great time dancing with you, I'd love to do it again sometime,") then hang up and give her a few days to call you back.

If you're really interested, give her a reasonable amount of time to call you back (use your judgment on what's reasonable. For example if you're both in college and on break you'd wait less time than if you were out for one last night of boozing before finals week, and if she's a tax attorney she would call you back quicker if you left the message on April 16 than if you left it on April 12th, you get the idea,) then leave a second message saying something like, "Hi, it's [your name], I called the other day when you said you'd probably be around and I thought I'd hear from you by now." If you exchanged numbers and therefore didn't leave it with the first message, you can say "If you lost my number it's ..." and if you left it with the first message say something like "And again, my number is ..."

If you don't get a call back after the second call, she's not interested. The point of the second call if you're really interested is to 1: rule out the chance that something completely unexpected prevented her from getting the first message; 2: let her know that it's fine to call a bit later if she wasn't sure before and warmed up to the idea of getting together since the first call but didn't know if too much time had passed; 3: convince someone who's still unsure that you're definitely interested and might be worth it.


There is no one method that will work for everyone and nothing will work on everyone. You have to be willing to accept failure to ensure success. Keep trying and you won't have to fit into a mold and obey any rules to succeed and be happy.

Plan9

It was always suggested that the "three day rule" was a good idea to see if you can remember the other person's name for 72 hours.

...sometimes I write Post-It notes telling me to buy more Post-It notes.

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I'm always eager to spend more time with a person that I've found compatible. I've had first dates that lasted for hours, including one that lasted two days. Life is too short to worry about "burning out" on somebody you've known for less than a day.

I roll with a good thing until I have to go back to work.

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Whatever you can carry.

"You should not drink... and bake."