cag

I am a women of 46 with a lover same age of 4 yrs, both are in long term marriages with commitments, but no sexual relations. We see each other about once'd a month. I go down on him every time we have sex, but he does not on me. I had found out something about his history of sex when talking about past relations and girlfriends, which lead me to beleive he is not very experienced at all. The only thing he is good at is the intercourse. The question I have is how do I approuch him about performing oral on me? With our age this is touchy to a degree so it needs to be handled because of his ego very gently. In case anyone is wondering ... "well there must be something wrong with her" NOT!!!!!!!!!! All my past ones have told me I am very sweet tasting.
So all you wanabe therepists, I need some help!!!! Any idea will be greatly appreciated...
thank in advance,
cag

TexanAvenger

I've yet to find any relationship that doesn't hinge on communication. IF you want him to go down on you, my suggestion is to tell him you'd really like him to, and ask him.

I admit to being younger, but I'm not sure I understand why it's such a touchy subject at any age. Maybe you could clarify that for me?

healer

You've got to be able to talk to the man. I would think that because you guys are older you'd be able to discuss it in a mature manner.
This might be the root of the problem. Maybe he doesn't know what to do down there, and is avoiding it altogether. But this is all speculation until you hear it from him.

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zed wolf

Some men don't enjoy doing that as much as others do. For me, it depends on who I am with. I have been with some women that I have never done that with and I have also been with women I have done that with every time we have been together.
It could also be from lack of experience on his part too. I would suggest you approach it playfully, without asking why he hasn't done it yet. Just playfully get him interest in pleasing you that night, let him know you want tonight to be about you having him follow your hints and directions as to how you want to be treated that night.
Start him off easy, general touching kissing nibbling, all over your body, slowly guiding him in the direction you want him to go until you have him right where you want him to be. When he gets there, keep instructing him, be very specific as to what you want him to do and how you want him to do it. Get him to try different things, licking, nibbling, kissing, every thing you can think of so it is not up to him. make it so he is not making the decision of what to do down there that way he will always feel like he is doing it right. Also remember to tell him when he is doing something that you like and just how much you like it. And if he does do something wrong, don't scold him for it just give him a different thing to do.
Ok, I just read that to see if I wrote it out right and had to laugh, that sounds exactly like how to train a dog! Give it a try though, unless he absolutely does not like doing that with girls I thing it should work out just fine!

jt6879

I've been with women before that I hated doing that, for whatever reason, grooming, what I get in return etc...

It has always been a huge turnoff for me, if she has a bunch of hair down there, and is standoffish if you suggest possibly trimming.. Also its obvious to most people I'm sure by now that a woman takes alot more time and devotion to "getting her off" I love to do this for my woman, however its very frustrating when I go down for 20 mins to try and get her off and she returns the favor for 30 seconds and then says lets have sex.

I know that sounds selfish but that is where I'm coming from anyway

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cag

Thanks zedwolf.....it makes alot of sense if one is not experienced to use the playful method of instruction. texas avenger.... anytime one person is experienced and the other not, it is a very touchy situation no matter how old you are or for whatever the subject is about. and as for jt both shave so that is difiantly not the problem. what is the problem is we are dealing with a CEO of a major retailer and he had no choice with the family/employer to be single. so he did not get to play the field or experiment with dating and getting to know them sexually before marriage.
thanks again for all your input, i think this will help alot next time we are together.
cag

absorbentishe

The best thing to do is just ask. Do it nicely, but directly. Maybe he thinks you don't like it? In any case, communication is always the key. But, if he says he won't do it, and doesn't want to talk about it, then grant him that, and don't bring it up for a long time. Otherwise, add a third, someone that will do that! JK...

Daniel_

Grab him by the ears and make appreciative noises.

Works when I do it to the wife. ;-)

(JK)

Tell him you like it, and make sure he realises how much you get off on it.

If he's worried about flavour, take a look at flavoured lubes, or dental dams. There are even flavoured dams available on the market - that can get him over the "ick" factor of licking your genitals and on to realising how cool it is to have a girl come on your tongue.

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beavstrokinoff

Straddle his face and ride him into the pillow.

Seriously, some guys don't like the taste. Ask him to o down on you, maybe it doesn't occur to him that you may want him to because you don't ask.

blade02

are you two married to different people? if so... maybe its an emotional thing. most sexual stuff i dont have to be emotionally attached to try... but oral is sometimes one of those things i reserve till later.

eribrav

Just to clarify a little: Has he ever gone down on you, even once? If he did, how was it?

Charlatan

Wow. I am amazed that in this day and age there is even a question about going down on a woman.

I can't imagine leaving it for later or even being hung up on it. To me, it's an essential part of the whole process (well not essential every time, just essential in that it is part of the ongoing bag of tricks, if you follow me).

If you like it and want it. The only way to get it is to talk to him. I know it's hard to talk about sex, we are conditioned not to. We just do it. But it's important to talk about it. Speak frankly and openly with him about what you like and what you want. It may open the door to things he likes and wants from you but has been to nervous to talk about.

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Lady Sage

Fair is fair in my book, he wants blown he has to go down. No licky licky no sucky sucky.

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World's King

Wait... You two are married to two different people?

I don't like this at all.



I'd be less worried about if he was gonna go down on you and why you two aren't fucking the people you are married too.

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blade02

I leave it for later well because... if Im just in it for the sex... thats all Im there for. All I want to do is get in, get out, go home. If I like the girl, then its something I do FOR her. Though it can be quite rewarding.

dlish

maybe hes had a bad sexual experience in the past and has a hang up about it. talk to him and ask him..or maybe call his wife

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Ourcrazymodern?

Cunnilingus is why I believe in pheromones. Good, exciting stuff!
Lady Sage is right again regarding turnabout being fair play.
It's not always that you get what you ask for, but it can't hurt to ask!
Are your spouses "cheating" too?

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