Would you feel insulted?
 

OK. I am starting this thread in response to a valid point made in another discussion, and it has made me curious....

Ladies, if you were to have a photo posted of you (with your permission) on a forum that was NOT sexually directed, would you be offended if someone were to make a sexually oriented comment about said photo? If the answer is yes, why would it offend you? If no, why WOULDN'T it offend you?

Men, have you ever accidentally made a sexual comment of a photo, and later realized that it might have been in poor taste?

This is not in any way meant to be a defensive thread...I am honestly curious as to how common this might be, and what kind of effect it may have.

My answer to this thread, is obviously yes, I have made a comment, and after it being brought to my attention, realized that it may have been in poor taste.

I think it would depend on the context of the photo. I fully expect "sexual" comments if the picture can be construed in anyway as "sexual" and no it doesnt bother me because...well because Im me lol and to me "sexual" comments are more flattering than.."oh shannon what great lighting you used"..Im not one to get all excited about the "photography" issues of a picutre, which is why you dont usually see lots of submissions from me in the photography section.

Its like with the exhibition section...to me exhibition is not "body as art" its showing off...unless its on TFP lol...but this isnt my place and it isnt my rules....and my mama always taught me to respect another houses rules. If I want to see "body as art" I'll go to a museum or something. If I want to "show off" I just know I need to do it somewhere else.

Thank you for the comment, but to clarify, the photo was NOT in a sexually oriented thread, and was only a regular pose you might see in a family photo. I felt really bad after it was brought to my attention, and apologized in the thread, realizing that it was inapropriate probably at the least.

Not too long ago a lovely woman of TFP posted a few nudes of herself. The body as art is one thing and that is what her pictures were. I complimented her on her makeup and eyes. The rest is just a body to me.

If the pictures had been, say, a woman using a "toy" then... that is a different type of photo and I likely wouldnt have commented at all.

I think it would depend on how explicit the comment was combined with my familiarity with the person who made it. Generally speaking, it takes a lot to offend me in that way. I'm not so easily sexually harassable. But everyone is different. If you don't have a rapport with the person and are doubtful as to how the comment might be received, it might be best to err on the side of caution.

And then, there are the instances where we simply say what's on our mind without giving it much thought at all and unintentionally offend someone. 'Tis human.

My view on it has always been to be as polite as possible and avoid saying anything that can be misconstrued. It isn't a big jump from compliment to creepy comment but it's a line that TFP monitors closely.

As for ShaniFaye's comments regarding art vs. just showing off... I totally get that too. For those who want to just let their hair down and not get all hung up on "art" we have Tilted Trampoline. There are no pretensions there beyond the rules of that forum.

oh...I dont hang out in trampoline, I wasnt aware picture posting there was allowed

Absolutely! It's where anything goes...

All of the "post your (insert body part here)" have either been moved there or will be shortly.

Post away.

If there is a pic of you on the internet you will get hit on.


Get over it.

I'm old. Hit away.:lol:

Quoted for truth. Whenever a pic of you is made available, someone somewhere is going to sexualize it. Now, that doesn't mean you shouldn't get offended- but you shouldn't be that surprised, either.

The thing i've always found is to know my limits. A LOT of people have no idea how to know where the "limits" are, and that's why a lot of people say things that are tactless and inappropriate- they just can't read the situation and respond correctly.

For me, I'm a person who has close friends, and just my personality alone allows me to get away with practically anything. My fondest memory is receiving a sincere "thank you" from a friend of mine, while amongst horrified gasps of those around us at my comment. He'd said, "oh hey, I have a picture [of the baby]", and showed me a picture of his wife holding their newborn son- and I replief, "your wife's hot".

We had the greatest laugh because everyone else nearby thought I was a tactless asshole for saying so, but it's me- they know I don't really mean it like that. They know I say things for the comedy, and they just know me as a person.

Now, if it were a stranger and it was a totally non-sexual picture, i'd likely hold off on my $0.02 about her looks.

Some are not so thoughtful/considerate.

Not that I'm aware of, but if I did, I'd apologize and move on. The thing is, sexuality in a community like this is a very sensitive thing, and it's a tightrope. Some people expect it, and some people are offended by it. I'm sure your intent was to flatter and just to have fun. You gambled a bit, and it was misconstrued.

I don't mind when people accedentally make sexual comments about my photos, poor taste or otherwise.

Actually, the comment made me laugh, and Amn seemed to like it. I don't really see the harm.

I've had lots of guys flirt with me on the internet but only one troubling encounter with another person and sexual innuendo wasn't even a factor. It was simply an instance of a man I knew marginally acting very familiar with me out of the blue. But even that turned out to be a harmless drunken episode. So...

1. Open-faced sexual jocularity isn't necessarily creepy and "innocent" conversation isn't necessarily not.

2. Proceed with caution when you are drunk and if you are unable to then be prepared to deal with some fallout. We don't know you are drunk. Perhaps open up the night with a disclaimer: I am drunk. Which may or may not account for some unexpected and/or disturbing interactions with me. :D

Lots of good comments here, and thank you Will, As you recall some of our political discussions tend to make me think, and again, you don't supprise me at all with important points. Everyone else, thank you again. I feel that my comment was definately made in a jovial manner, but I can also see how someone who doesn't know me well could EASILY see it as "creepy" in the content in which it was made. I do admit that I am one of those people that tend to speak their mind, without thinking first, and it can get me into trouble.

I am mostly a car and motorcycle forum guy. on those forums, if any person makes mention of females (sisters, mom, gilrfiends, whatever), then guys will basically harass the original poster for pics of the sister/GF in question. then when her picture does get posted, as long as she isnt dog ugly, guys will make comments. "I'd hit it" "scha-wing" you name it, the list goes on. I will occasionally post in threads like that. to me its all in good fun, since I have a girlfriend and have no intention of doing anything with the female in question.

Hey... wanna go out some time... You know... out back to my car...




:icare:

I agree with others that if you post a picture on the internet, you will get comments. It is one thing that a person should expect. If you place a fully dressed, family-type portrait and get a sexy-type comment, it may be a bit more surprising, but shouldn't cause a shock reaction.

Of course, I also think that the written word can be taken differently than if it were being said. You don't get the inflections or facial expressions to go along with it. So, it can easily be taken the wrong way and may be read as offensive. But that is with everything, not just picture comments. Of course if someone would post, "You're hot, let's fuck". Well that can't be taken out of context and some people would find it offensive. But, it's on-line, not in person. This poster isn't chasing you and trying to attack you. I'd laugh it off and ignore it. And if it were here a mod would take care of it because it breaks the rules.

It's a personal thing and some people are more uptight than others. But if a person is upset and makes it known, then an apology should be made even if the person does believe that the comment was taken too seriously or in a way not intended.

Yeah, I also share this paticular personality trait. Since I type out things like I talk in real life, I have become aware that without my actual presence, some things I say sound asshole-ish. Luckily I have found that those who matter to me don't give a shit or try to at least figure out where I was coming from before flipping out.

As far as the OP, I have never knowingly offended someone that has posted a picture.

I wouldn't feel insulted, mainly because I've come to the realization that guys are just like that. It's in poor taste, but for some reason, most guys don't recognize that what they think is funny could hurt a woman