about my EX ... read on ... - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

mark_santos · 10-19-2006, 05:12 PM

heres my story, well, i've been in a relationship for 3 years and 5 months. and my GF(now EX) broke up with me because she thinks im never going to marry her and she also thinks that she will never have a good future with me plus i bacame busy during the last months of our relationship, i was so busy trying to get a good job, lost some time for her.. (well, i will marry her in time but cant support a family right now because of financial reasons, am living in a 3rd world country) so ... we broke up, but was still seeing each other for the past 6 months, i started to give more time for her during the 6 month period... helped her with her daily activities... drove her around town so she wouldnt get tired of driving... cooked for her... studied grad school subjects with her etc. etc. i was trying to win her back but everytime i was so close to winning her back, i mess something up...

i really love her, but now, she found a new guy... they are having a long distance relationship right now... they are constantly communicating and stuff... she was very happy with the other guy, and i was happy for her because she was happy! .. one day my EX told me that some girl sent her an email telling why she was with her boyfriend, my ex told me she was shocked so she told his BF about it, the BF explained that he had so much flings before thier relationship and he assured her that he is now committed to her..

i opened up my EX's mail and took the email address of the girl that messaged my EX. i sent her a message with my number in it. one day, i revieved a text message from the girl... i quickly called her up and asked info about the guy... as we were talking, i was shocked by what she told me...(btw, she was crying while talking to me) well.. she told me that she and the GUY (my EX's BF now) was about to get married this comming december, her whole... but suddenly the guy stopped communicating with her (maybe bacause he met my EX and he left the other girl hanging for her) so, what i did was warned my EX about the guy ... and i think it was wrong because it just made me look pathetic, i dont even think that she believed what i said... but i just wanted to warn her and i was just concerned that the guy might do what he did to the other girl... plus, its my chance to win her back... i really love her...

what should i do?

(sorry for my bad english)

Konichiwaneko · 10-19-2006, 07:05 PM

you won't win her back by telling her anything.

First of all we don't know if you opened up her email with her permission.

Plus you love her because she runs her life, not you. If she's gonna get hurt, she should get hurt by her own decision. Lifes tough like that.

Right now you should be doing something for you, and not worry to much about her.

visotech · 10-19-2006, 07:43 PM

The way I see it, most people don't want to listen to what you have to say. People have to make their own mistakes, and then next time, maybe they will listen to you.

mark_santos · 10-19-2006, 07:51 PM

i told her about what i did, she forgave me... i just looked to get the other girls email ... basically, now .. we are talking ... no hatered or whatsoever...
i just cant believe that she got over me really quick ... she and his current BF just met like 4 times ... then maintained communication then boom ... they started a relationship ... now, the guy is away... i could visit her at her place all the time but... she doesnt want me to ... i just wanted to visit her as a friend and i wanted us to be friends .. but something is troubling her ... im soo depressed

Konichiwaneko · 10-19-2006, 08:12 PM

yeah but you know what, if you want her back and all she sees when she looks at you is a depressed lump of former boyfriend...she probably wouldn't want to come back.

Now if you just do your own thing, live your life, maybe just maybe she'll see and realize down the line and get back with you.

or sometime else, someone else might get together with you.

mark_santos · 10-19-2006, 08:22 PM

i see... ill just move on .. live my life... well... this is the hard part... to not think about the person you were once with everyday for 3 1/2 years...

BTW.. anyone whos got anything to say... speak up... i want more comments, feel free to post... thanks alot

analog · 10-20-2006, 01:02 AM

I think the healthy thing for you at this point is to set your priorities for yourself... and I don't know that this girl can be "won back" now. I think if you feel like you already tried your best, and over the course of 6 months nothing happened, and she started something up with this other guy... you should just move on, in my opinion.

But hey, all is not lost. Get your financial situation fixed up, and make some plans for yourself. Take this time to set your path, give yourself some goals, that sort of thing.

I know it sucks to lose someone, and not be able to win them back, but it's just not always going to happen. Be happy that she's happy, and I'd also recommend to distance yourself from that whole situation. Because even IF he turns out to be a huge asshole, bad for her, etc., it still won't make you look good to have dug and pointed it out. It just won't.

So, pull yourself up and keep looking forward.

loquitur · 11-08-2006, 07:21 AM

Mark, it would have been better if you got someone else to warn her, if you thought it necessary. Coming from you it just looked desperate. Plus, she's an adult and can make her own decisions.

The best thing for you to do is move on, find new love and create your own fantastic life.

dlish · 11-09-2006, 02:09 AM

loquitur,

im not sure if youve been through depression as a consequence of love lost. it might be easy to say but definately not easy to do. moving on can take months and even years for some.

my advice..if u really love her, then dont abandon her, cos she's in for a rude shock, and she'll need someone to be there for her.

oneofmanymen · 11-10-2006, 08:25 AM

I agree with the others. The best thing to do is move on.

loquitur · 11-11-2006, 08:08 AM

dlishguy, I have been through it and believe me, the only way to deal with it is to just move on. It's not very easy, but it is the only thing that works.

10-19-2006, 05:12 PM	#1 (permalink)
mark_santos Upright	about my EX ... read on ... heres my story, well, i've been in a relationship for 3 years and 5 months. and my GF(now EX) broke up with me because she thinks im never going to marry her and she also thinks that she will never have a good future with me plus i bacame busy during the last months of our relationship, i was so busy trying to get a good job, lost some time for her.. (well, i will marry her in time but cant support a family right now because of financial reasons, am living in a 3rd world country) so ... we broke up, but was still seeing each other for the past 6 months, i started to give more time for her during the 6 month period... helped her with her daily activities... drove her around town so she wouldnt get tired of driving... cooked for her... studied grad school subjects with her etc. etc. i was trying to win her back but everytime i was so close to winning her back, i mess something up... i really love her, but now, she found a new guy... they are having a long distance relationship right now... they are constantly communicating and stuff... she was very happy with the other guy, and i was happy for her because she was happy! .. one day my EX told me that some girl sent her an email telling why she was with her boyfriend, my ex told me she was shocked so she told his BF about it, the BF explained that he had so much flings before thier relationship and he assured her that he is now committed to her.. i opened up my EX's mail and took the email address of the girl that messaged my EX. i sent her a message with my number in it. one day, i revieved a text message from the girl... i quickly called her up and asked info about the guy... as we were talking, i was shocked by what she told me...(btw, she was crying while talking to me) well.. she told me that she and the GUY (my EX's BF now) was about to get married this comming december, her whole... but suddenly the guy stopped communicating with her (maybe bacause he met my EX and he left the other girl hanging for her) so, what i did was warned my EX about the guy ... and i think it was wrong because it just made me look pathetic, i dont even think that she believed what i said... but i just wanted to warn her and i was just concerned that the guy might do what he did to the other girl... plus, its my chance to win her back... i really love her... what should i do? (sorry for my bad english)

10-19-2006, 07:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	you won't win her back by telling her anything. First of all we don't know if you opened up her email with her permission. Plus you love her because she runs her life, not you. If she's gonna get hurt, she should get hurt by her own decision. Lifes tough like that. Right now you should be doing something for you, and not worry to much about her. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

10-19-2006, 08:12 PM	#5 (permalink)
Konichiwaneko The Dreaded Pixel Nazi Location: Inside my camera	yeah but you know what, if you want her back and all she sees when she looks at you is a depressed lump of former boyfriend...she probably wouldn't want to come back. Now if you just do your own thing, live your life, maybe just maybe she'll see and realize down the line and get back with you. or sometime else, someone else might get together with you. __________________ Hesitate. Pull me in. Breath on breath. Skin on skin. Loving deep. Falling fast. All right here. Let this last. Here with our lips locked tight. Baby the time is right for us... to forget about us.

10-19-2006, 08:22 PM	#6 (permalink)
mark_santos Upright	i see... ill just move on .. live my life... well... this is the hard part... to not think about the person you were once with everyday for 3 1/2 years... BTW.. anyone whos got anything to say... speak up... i want more comments, feel free to post... thanks alot Last edited by mark_santos; 10-19-2006 at 09:02 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

11-09-2006, 02:09 AM	#9 (permalink)
dlish Currently sour but formerly Dlishs Super Moderator Location: Australia/UAE	loquitur, im not sure if youve been through depression as a consequence of love lost. it might be easy to say but definately not easy to do. moving on can take months and even years for some. my advice..if u really love her, then dont abandon her, cos she's in for a rude shock, and she'll need someone to be there for her. __________________ An injustice anywhere, is an injustice everywhere I always sign my facebook comments with ()()===========(}. Does that make me gay? - Filthy

10-19-2006, 07:43 PM	#3 (permalink)
visotech Insane Location: San Diego, CA	The way I see it, most people don't want to listen to what you have to say. People have to make their own mistakes, and then next time, maybe they will listen to you.

10-19-2006, 07:51 PM	#4 (permalink)
mark_santos Upright	i told her about what i did, she forgave me... i just looked to get the other girls email ... basically, now .. we are talking ... no hatered or whatsoever... i just cant believe that she got over me really quick ... she and his current BF just met like 4 times ... then maintained communication then boom ... they started a relationship ... now, the guy is away... i could visit her at her place all the time but... she doesnt want me to ... i just wanted to visit her as a friend and i wanted us to be friends .. but something is troubling her ... im soo depressed

10-20-2006, 01:02 AM	#7 (permalink)
analog Banned	I think the healthy thing for you at this point is to set your priorities for yourself... and I don't know that this girl can be "won back" now. I think if you feel like you already tried your best, and over the course of 6 months nothing happened, and she started something up with this other guy... you should just move on, in my opinion. But hey, all is not lost. Get your financial situation fixed up, and make some plans for yourself. Take this time to set your path, give yourself some goals, that sort of thing. I know it sucks to lose someone, and not be able to win them back, but it's just not always going to happen. Be happy that she's happy, and I'd also recommend to distance yourself from that whole situation. Because even IF he turns out to be a huge asshole, bad for her, etc., it still won't make you look good to have dug and pointed it out. It just won't. So, pull yourself up and keep looking forward.

11-08-2006, 07:21 AM	#8 (permalink)
loquitur Junkie Location: NYC	Mark, it would have been better if you got someone else to warn her, if you thought it necessary. Coming from you it just looked desperate. Plus, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. The best thing for you to do is move on, find new love and create your own fantastic life.

11-10-2006, 08:25 AM	#10 (permalink)
oneofmanymen Insane Location: Wisconsin	I agree with the others. The best thing to do is move on. __________________ Everything works if you let it....

11-11-2006, 08:08 AM	#11 (permalink)
loquitur Junkie Location: NYC	dlishguy, I have been through it and believe me, the only way to deal with it is to just move on. It's not very easy, but it is the only thing that works.