Need advice - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

wesf · 06-09-2003, 02:26 AM

Hey everybody whats going on? I just found this place a couple days ago and I thought that as long as I found it that I might as well ask a question. Ok theres this girl that I'm friends with and we've been best friends for a little over a year now. Well a couple of months ago I asked her out and she thought about us for a few days and finally got back to me and said that she didn't want a boyfriend at that time and that was fine with me; we stayed great friends and nothing changed. Well a few days ago she was talking to me and she told me that she regrets not going out with me and that she loves me. I pretty much knew she was going to say this because she was hinting at it and I know her so well. Anyways my question is what should I do? I do love her but I don't know if I should tell her or what?

alterEGO · 06-09-2003, 03:09 AM

Risking your friendship over love is your choice.

rogue49 · 06-09-2003, 04:52 AM

Wait a minute, you are friends
and you have fallen for her
and now she has fallen for you.
No brainer, go for it.

However, there is no reason to go melodramatic over it.
Just continue to go out together, and have fun.
Just let it build, get to know each other on a different level.
There is no need to making bold statements,
unless this is truly how you feel.

But be aware that some react to certain words & statements badly,
despite using them themselves.

Let it grow, good luck

BigBlueWrecking · 06-09-2003, 05:38 AM

Seems pretty easy to me. Go for it if that is what you want.

justadude · 06-09-2003, 07:07 AM

be careful if you do go ahead with it though cause you need to know if things don't work out as "boyfriend/girlfriend" that everything will have changed and it's never going to go back to how it is now.

i am in the middle of making that mistake with a girl i work with, we were awesome friends and went over that line...now she can't talk to me because i annoy her cause i'm all busted up over the break up thing. we intended to stay good buddies when it was finally over, but it's not looking good for that right now and i'm hating the fact that we fucked it up.

if you can make a go of it and make it work, it's the best, but if not just be prepared for things to be different in the end...

best of luck in it...just know what you're getting into (and like someone said, don't tell her everything you're feeling, hold back, cause you'll either put her in the driver's seat or scare her off by telling her too much, believe me, i'm speaking from VERY recent experience)

Scipio · 06-09-2003, 08:13 AM

I say no go.

In the first place, she blocked you, and now she's acting all lovey dovey. I don't buy it.

geep · 06-09-2003, 08:45 AM

Friendship is the basis for many long term relationships. Many men when questioned about the success of their marriage will say that the key fact is that their wife is their best friend. If you go for it be aware that it could be the beginning of a great and long lasting romance or the end of it all. I personally would spend more time nurturing the friendship. Let the rest happen when it seems appropriate. I would definately ask her why she couldn't go out with you before and why it's o.k. now.

06-09-2003, 10:30 AM

I'd say don't overanalyze, and give it a shot. You've been close for a good while now, so follow your gut on how to express your feelings to her.

As for her not wanting to 'date' a couple months ago, fair enough. You were cool with it then, so why make an issue of it now? Maybe she really didn't want it at that time, and that was all.

Slims · 06-11-2003, 03:52 PM

Go for it,
It might work out.
If it doesn't, and you find yourselves drifting apart, you will most likely go back to being friends.

gonadman · 06-11-2003, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Greg700
Go for it,
It might work out.
If it doesn't, and you find yourselves drifting apart, you will most likely go back to being friends.

I get the opposite impression. I think if this friendship blooms into a hot romance and it doesn't work out, you two will never be close friends again.

Be careful with this one- her initial rejection of you might have a deep seated base of doubt in you as a boyfriend.

06-09-2003, 02:26 AM	#1 (permalink)
wesf Upright	Need advice Hey everybody whats going on? I just found this place a couple days ago and I thought that as long as I found it that I might as well ask a question. Ok theres this girl that I'm friends with and we've been best friends for a little over a year now. Well a couple of months ago I asked her out and she thought about us for a few days and finally got back to me and said that she didn't want a boyfriend at that time and that was fine with me; we stayed great friends and nothing changed. Well a few days ago she was talking to me and she told me that she regrets not going out with me and that she loves me. I pretty much knew she was going to say this because she was hinting at it and I know her so well. Anyways my question is what should I do? I do love her but I don't know if I should tell her or what?

06-09-2003, 08:13 AM	#6 (permalink)
Scipio Mencken Location: College	I say no go. In the first place, she blocked you, and now she's acting all lovey dovey. I don't buy it. __________________ "Erections lasting more than 4 hours, though rare, require immediate medical attention."

06-11-2003, 03:52 PM	#9 (permalink)
Slims Eccentric insomniac Location: North Carolina	Go for it, It might work out. If it doesn't, and you find yourselves drifting apart, you will most likely go back to being friends. __________________ "Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy, its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery." - Winston Churchill "All men dream: but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act out their dream with open eyes, to make it possible." Seven Pillars of Wisdom, T.E. Lawrence

06-09-2003, 03:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
alterEGO Loser	Risking your friendship over love is your choice.

06-09-2003, 04:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
rogue49 Loser	Wait a minute, you are friends and you have fallen for her and now she has fallen for you. No brainer, go for it. However, there is no reason to go melodramatic over it. Just continue to go out together, and have fun. Just let it build, get to know each other on a different level. There is no need to making bold statements, unless this is truly how you feel. But be aware that some react to certain words & statements badly, despite using them themselves. Let it grow, good luck

06-09-2003, 05:38 AM	#4 (permalink)
BigBlueWrecking Psycho	Seems pretty easy to me. Go for it if that is what you want.

06-09-2003, 07:07 AM	#5 (permalink)
justadude Upright	be careful if you do go ahead with it though cause you need to know if things don't work out as "boyfriend/girlfriend" that everything will have changed and it's never going to go back to how it is now. i am in the middle of making that mistake with a girl i work with, we were awesome friends and went over that line...now she can't talk to me because i annoy her cause i'm all busted up over the break up thing. we intended to stay good buddies when it was finally over, but it's not looking good for that right now and i'm hating the fact that we fucked it up. if you can make a go of it and make it work, it's the best, but if not just be prepared for things to be different in the end... best of luck in it...just know what you're getting into (and like someone said, don't tell her everything you're feeling, hold back, cause you'll either put her in the driver's seat or scare her off by telling her too much, believe me, i'm speaking from VERY recent experience)

06-09-2003, 08:45 AM	#7 (permalink)
geep Insane Location: Imprisoned in Ecotopia	Friendship is the basis for many long term relationships. Many men when questioned about the success of their marriage will say that the key fact is that their wife is their best friend. If you go for it be aware that it could be the beginning of a great and long lasting romance or the end of it all. I personally would spend more time nurturing the friendship. Let the rest happen when it seems appropriate. I would definately ask her why she couldn't go out with you before and why it's o.k. now.

06-09-2003, 10:30 AM	#8 (permalink)
Big Julie Guest	I'd say don't overanalyze, and give it a shot. You've been close for a good while now, so follow your gut on how to express your feelings to her. As for her not wanting to 'date' a couple months ago, fair enough. You were cool with it then, so why make an issue of it now? Maybe she really didn't want it at that time, and that was all.