Menoman

I agree with male, get her to get the test done.

Also don't listen to the smart asses who pretend they are better than others.

Constructive critisicm is obviously an old trend.




However lame I think it is that people need to act like that, They do have a point in there, and I'm sure you agree that this situation has shown you the importance of going to someplace to learn more about how to prevent repetition of your current situation.

__________________

Daniel_

Just to calrify - success rates for contraceptive methods are generally measured of 100 couples using that method for ONE YEAR.

The number that they use is (from memory) around 85 copulations per couple per year - so a 4% success rate for withdrawal used perfectly, ammounts to 4 of 100 coupes using it for a year conceiving.

the 30 to 40% is on the same basis for unprotected sex, as is the 2% for condoms used perfectly (same for hormones too).

What this means is that if 100 couples have sex 85 times each in a year, 4 will get pregnant - so that's 4 pregancies out of 8500 copulations - so the 4% statistic comes out as more like 0.048% per session of intercourse.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

thespian86

So with the pill we have little to worry about. I guess this has gotten me thinking more then anything. I've been talking to men that i work with, some who were young fathers about how it affected them and although I know it's not happening, it's hard not to think about it. I guess also i'm worried about her health. If she is feeling like this then maybe something is wrong with her physically. she has been really gassy lately and such. I don't know whats wrong but i don't want her to be in pain?

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

maleficent

Have her write down all her health issues... and take it with her to go to the doctor... it's the only way you will know for sure if there's a problem of any sort, and it will put your mind at ease and you will stop worrying... (medical diagnosis on an internet forum just don't work... y'all have pretty good medical care in canuckistan-- take advantage of it) Please...

__________________

JumpinJesus

Maybe I can offer something here. I was 19 and my girlfriend at the time was 16 when she got pregnant. We chose to keep it and we got married. The marriage didn't last for obvious reasons. My daughter is now 16 and it terrifies me to think of her getting pregnant at this age. Karma.

It wasn't easy having a child at such a young age. I will say that while she wasn't planned and I had doubts upon doubts upon doubts about how we were going to make it work, the instant she was born and I saw her, those doubts turned into a conviction to make it work for her sake.

I had to put off college until she was in school because we couldn't afford daycare and there were many, many times where we had collectors on us because we couldn't afford to pay certain bills.

Financially, having a child at a young age was a wreck; however, I've managed to overcome that and am doing just fine now.

Emotionally, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

__________________
"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses

thespian86

JJ, I think that is what i needed to hear. Exactly what i needed to hear. I guess I'm so worried about not being able to produce the financial stability needed to support Ash and a child. And that scares me a lot. And also our futures depend on our bodies and our freedom (atleast our immediate futures) and I think that scares us too; especially her, a dancer/student actress, she needs to be able to be 110% physically and emotionally. Me, I'm just a student actor, so the emotions could always come in handy, but the obligation to my family would throw any chance of a small career out the window (not that I would veiw a child as a burdon, but i don't know any other way to describe it) It's not so much about being irrisponsible and then whining about it as most of the posters on here have responded to. I just want to be the best man i can be for her and possibly a child and at my age it's hard to deal with that. I came here for support from my peers and thanks JJ; you gave me that. I really appriciate that.

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

BenChuy

Yet another reason that the damned male BC needs to come out. Imagine: female/male BC + condom. Talk about reducing chances!

Talk about piece of mind!

thespian86

Hate to beat a dead horse but heavy flow indicates no pregnancy? No, we have not taken the test because I think we are both very scared of the results. Very scared.

Heavy flow means no?

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

maleficent

It depends... given her age... it could be anything...

More than likely she's not pregnant... but IF she is... you're better off knowing NOW rather than waiting til the baby puts in an appearance.. it's a little thing called Prenatal care that's very important...

Take the dang test... it will be negative and you can get on with your life and find something else to worry about.

__________________

Cynthetiq

So you'd rather be scared for a few more months until it's obvious that she's not pregnant rather than take a test and know 100% for sure she's not and have peace of mind? Whatever floats your boat dude...

Two things come to mind, you just proposed to her, show her how much of a responsible mature adult you can be, to her and to yourself. This is but the first of things that you two will have to "grow through" as you grow old together. Will you also do the same if someone is possibly ill with some sort of disease like cancer? Waiting and delay can cost someone a life...

And there's a river in Egypt, it's called DENIAL.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.