Being single - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

BigDonkey2 · 05-25-2006, 04:08 PM

i was friend zoned. nm.

Mondak · 05-25-2006, 06:36 PM

I'll Bite...

I don't know how old you are etc. but it sounds like a nice, healthy relationship. The thing is that I don't know that it is possible to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with if you don't know somewhat clearly what you want out of life. I mean how the heck do you know if she could / would share your dreams or if you would share hers?

Should you be thinking that far? Well, look at it this way: you are on a path. That path is heading somewhere. There are many branches you can take along the way. When you describe yourself, you might be a person who is pretty agreeable overall and you very well might find a relationship that there is nothing wrong with per se. That does that mean it is the path, but you might not have the clarity to switch paths or a really strong reason to.

Lets face it, no one likes to be alone. Human beings need companionship and when we don't have it and suddenly we do again, we don't want to give it up. That does not mean that the person that has the merits you described is or isn't the person you need to invest in.

All that said, enjoy your time with her and then invest in yourself. If you have clarity about what you want in life, these decisions are a lot easier.

Oh yeah - and talk to her. All the things you said here are things that you should be able to say to her. If you can't, then maybe there is already an openness / communication problem.

Most people resent or keep secrets from their spouses if they even stay in a marriage. I can say that it CAN work. You just need to be smart and believe in yourself.

Good luck either way.

BigDonkey2 · 05-25-2006, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondak

I'll Bite...

I don't know how old you are etc. but it sounds like a nice, healthy relationship. The thing is that I don't know that it is possible to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with if you don't know somewhat clearly what you want out of life. I mean how the heck do you know if she could / would share your dreams or if you would share hers?

I'm 21 and shes 20. I know that there is someone out there for me who would share the same dreams and goals that I do. I just have to find her.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mondak

Should you be thinking that far? Well, look at it this way: you are on a path. That path is heading somewhere. There are many branches you can take along the way. When you describe yourself, you might be a person who is pretty agreeable overall and you very well might find a relationship that there is nothing wrong with per se. That does that mean it is the path, but you might not have the clarity to switch paths or a really strong reason to.

I think you're right in that I shouldn't be thinking too far so soon. I think its only in my nature and my past relationships that makes me do so. I should just be enjoying my time and let it go where it goes. It was funny when I read about you saying I'm on a path because just the other day thats the exact same thought that popped into my head. I was actually hanging out with her thinking to myself "this is just another person that I met on my path to becoming a professional ball player" I think of it as a journey for me in which I know I'm going to meet different people and this is just another experience on that journey. That being said I know it probably won't go anywhere but I will definately enjoy the time I have with her. I think she thinks of it the same way too. Shes a pretty easy person to talk to and I'm sure I would have no trouble discussing this with her.

05-25-2006, 04:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
BigDonkey2 Insane Location: California	Being single i was friend zoned. nm. Last edited by BigDonkey2; 05-28-2006 at 12:44 PM..

05-25-2006, 06:36 PM	#2 (permalink)
Mondak Industrialist Location: Southern California	I'll Bite... I don't know how old you are etc. but it sounds like a nice, healthy relationship. The thing is that I don't know that it is possible to find someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with if you don't know somewhat clearly what you want out of life. I mean how the heck do you know if she could / would share your dreams or if you would share hers? Should you be thinking that far? Well, look at it this way: you are on a path. That path is heading somewhere. There are many branches you can take along the way. When you describe yourself, you might be a person who is pretty agreeable overall and you very well might find a relationship that there is nothing wrong with per se. That does that mean it is the path, but you might not have the clarity to switch paths or a really strong reason to. Lets face it, no one likes to be alone. Human beings need companionship and when we don't have it and suddenly we do again, we don't want to give it up. That does not mean that the person that has the merits you described is or isn't the person you need to invest in. All that said, enjoy your time with her and then invest in yourself. If you have clarity about what you want in life, these decisions are a lot easier. Oh yeah - and talk to her. All the things you said here are things that you should be able to say to her. If you can't, then maybe there is already an openness / communication problem. Most people resent or keep secrets from their spouses if they even stay in a marriage. I can say that it CAN work. You just need to be smart and believe in yourself. Good luck either way. __________________ All truth passes through three stages: First it is ridiculed Second, it is violently opposed and Third, it is accepted as self-evident. ARTHUR SCHOPENHAUER (1788-1860)