Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community (https://thetfp.com/tfp/)
-   Tilted Sexuality (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/)
-   -   How do you know if he/she is THE ONE? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-sexuality/102858-how-do-you-know-if-he-she-one.html)

HoneyPot 04-01-2006 09:27 PM

How do you know if he/she is THE ONE?
 
Just curious to see what everyone's opinion is on meeting the one person that fulfills you and makes one happy for the rest of their lives. I wasn't sure if this is the right place to post this.... If anyone has any stories/advice/suggestions.... Let me know! Thanksya! :)

amonkie 04-01-2006 09:58 PM




Mod Note:

The best way to start a worthwhile Discussion is to offer up your own opinions and experiences - and I KNOW there are many threads that have been started on this topic, IE:

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ghlight=one%3F

http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=1111


MexicanOnABike 04-01-2006 11:34 PM

Quote:

How do you know if he/she is THE ONE?
you just know.

Crack 04-02-2006 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mexicanonabike
you just know.

(ummm... because he moves like the agents, and can stop bullets midflight?)

on a serious note, I agree with the mexicanonabike. :D

abaya 04-02-2006 03:49 PM

Nah, I don't think you "just know," or at least I don't usually believe people when they say that until they've been married for 10+ years. :D But I'm cynical, and I've never "known" much about anything in my life, so I have learned/am learning to just wait things out until I'm ready to jump and take a risk.

Again, I think very few people "know;" but many people know when they've met the person they are willing to take a flying leap with. :)

MexicanOnABike 04-02-2006 06:16 PM

well there was a few girls that i liked but none that i felt so intensly in love with as my current gf. like the 1st week we met, i knew i'd be with her for a VERY long time. and now, after almost 2years, i think it's gonna be forever! nothing would make me go for another girl.

Jinn 04-02-2006 06:54 PM

I don't think there is a "ONE."

I believe that there's likely thousands of "ones" for me, just based on simple probability and matching of personalities.

I think making someone "the one" is an unrealistic ideal, simply because someone can be perfect and horrible for you simultaneously. And if they die? Did you lose "the one"? Of course not.. there's a ton more "ones" out there.

raeanna74 04-02-2006 07:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
I don't think there is a "ONE."...snip

My thoughts exactly.

I think it's an evolution of a relationship. The ONE for a selfish 20 yr old is NEVER going to be the ONE for a 30something yr old. People change constantly. If you're looking for "the one" you might find the one for the person you were at 20 when you are already 40 but because the two of you did not evolve together in a relationship you did not develop the strengths needed to compliment each other.

I think there's lots of people out there that a person might click with but there's never only ONE that you can work with. Relationships that take work can sometimes be more healthy than relationships where the people are so alike that they can finish each other's sentences. BECAUSE that sameness cripples them into expecting a constancy and assuming that the other person will always know what they're thinking. When in reality we're always changing and that sameness is not always going to be the case. When you stop working at a relationship it stops growing.

Ustwo 04-02-2006 07:14 PM

You never know before hand.

If you are lucky you will know later.

And yes there is no 'One' but if you are lucky you find 'the one'. In other words there are most likely 1000's of women I'd have been happy to be married to, but I found 'the one' I'm married to and happy with.

Now if you would excuse me, 'the one' is walking in here naked :D

savvypup 04-02-2006 08:53 PM

Quote:

I think there's lots of people out there that a person might click with but there's never only ONE that you can work with. When you stop working at a relationship it stops growing.
I TOTALLY agree. 2 peas in a pod were my husband and I. Never fought, never disagreed - just too similar I guess, but it was the death of our once happy marriage.

You need to have differences, it makes you appreciate the other person more - you know, seeing a different perspective even if you don't agree. We had and still do have a ball together .... but don't fall into my trap.

Sultana 04-03-2006 08:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JinnKai
I don't think there is a "ONE."

I believe that there's likely thousands of "ones" for me, just based on simple probability and matching of personalities.

I would add one thing to this thought: "...at that moment in time."

As you grow, change, and evolve, those statistics are re-calculated. I think that without a lot of effort (as raeanna74 already said), the person who was perfect for you 15 years ago may not at all be the right person for you down the road.

Quote:

Originally Posted by raeanna74
I think there's lots of people out there that a person might click with but there's never only ONE that you can work with. Relationships that take work can sometimes be more healthy than relationships where the people are so alike that they can finish each other's sentences. BECAUSE that sameness cripples them into expecting a constancy and assuming that the other person will always know what they're thinking when in reality we're always changing and that is not always going to be the case. When you stop working at a relationship it stops growing.

Truth!

pan6467 04-03-2006 10:26 AM

I know I have searched my life for a woman that shares my sense of humor, enjoys just being together, isn't worried about what we can or cannot afford and allows me to grow as I allow her to.

And I have found her.

You know it is true when you can say or do anything and she wilkl understand and accept you no matter what, as you accept her.

Sexually, we dated awhile first and truly got to know each other and fell in love with one another. Then I got an STD test and since then..... greatest sex I've ever had. Not in what she does, but because for the first time, it is pure and true love.

That's how I know. I trust her with everything, I can tell her anything about my past or what's inside and I know she will understand, not judge me and just be as loving and caring as before. Just as she knows I will do the same for her.

She encourages my dreams and goals as I encourage hers. She encourages me to go out with the "guys" and to grow as a person, as I do with her. And for the first time in any relationship, I am not jealous or paranoid about her findind another guy.... because I know where her heart lies.

Toaster126 04-03-2006 10:51 AM

I don't believe in the concept of "the one" or "soulmates" and whatnot... I think that with dedication, honesty, and communication, just about everyone has lots of potential people running around in the world that would be a good partner.

abaya 04-03-2006 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by raeanna74
Relationships that take work can sometimes be more healthy than relationships where the people are so alike that they can finish each other's sentences. BECAUSE that sameness cripples them into expecting a constancy and assuming that the other person will always know what they're thinking when in reality we're always changing and that is not always going to be the case. When you stop working at a relationship it stops growing.

Raeanna, great wisdom there. Thank you for saying this. I get quite irritated with people who believe in "the One," since as I said earlier, I am just not inclined to believe that kind of thing (I used to, until we broke up! :lol: ) I like what Sultana said, too, about the person who was "the One" 15 years ago may well evolve into someone who is not the One (or you may evolve, etc)... UNLESS you are both willing to work hard.

Sometimes that's why I think arranged marriages may not be that different from "love matches," as they call them... because when it comes down to it, it is less about "being in love" and more about your willingness to work together over a long period of time, to make a life together. It is less about finding "THE one" and more about finding "one" (or more!) with whom you are willing to cobble a life together with.

MikeSty 04-03-2006 07:34 PM

Play that backstreet boys song, make love, and uh, give it a score.


All times are GMT -8. The time now is 08:03 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360