02-21-2006, 01:18 PM | #41 (permalink) | |
Junkie
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02-21-2006, 05:45 PM | #42 (permalink) | |
drawn and redrawn
Location: Some where in Southern California
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And to quote Jerry Sienfeld, "And what is a date really but a job interview that lasts all night. The only difference between an date and a job interview is not many job interviews there's a chance you'll end up naked at the end of it." So there's nothing wrong with improving your "game" or improving your job interview skills. You’re just trying to be the best person possible in either situation.
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"I don't know that I ever wanted greatness, on its own. It seems rather like wanting to be an engineer, rather than wanting to design something - or wanting to be a writer, rather than wanting to write. It should be a by-product, not a thing in itself. Otherwise, it's just an ego trip." Roger Zelazny |
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02-21-2006, 06:33 PM | #43 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: NJ
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You guys can argue all you want that it isn't "ethical" and that its "manipulative", but that's just bullshit. This is the best stuff that females react to. I respect women and i don't treat them like shit. There is nothing wrong with the game. It's just a more advanced form of social dynamics that works a lot better then "just being yourself"
And it worked, the girl messaged me today and wanted to hang out, she's very interested in me now. I told her i was busy and she asked about tomorrow, and the next day. I completely turned around the whole situation, how many times has that been done when given the "let's just be friends" speach? that right there says enough that the game works. and no body is personality deficient, but it IS a game. why? because it's fun, if you don't have fun you'll lose.
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rawr. |
02-21-2006, 06:47 PM | #44 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Chicago
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That could very well be true, but hopefully you understand that your verbage lent to the notion that manipulation and disrespect were part of it. If you see it as a game, that's fine for you, but again, you need to understand that many people view this as nothing short of manipulation. You don't see it that way because it works for you. The women you attract with those methods don't see it as a game because they play it, too. To outside observers, it seems trite, childish, and manipulative. You can disagree all you want and you can point to success as proof that it works but that doesn't change how it's seen from the outside. You use the argument that since she is now responding to you, it validates the "game". It could very well be that you were the one manipulated into chasing her down and she now sees you as easily controlled. I could be wrong, but without honesty, you never know where you truly stand or what is really going on. If you're enjoying yourself, then in the end, that's all that matters, I guess. Eventually, though, you'll tire of this form of socialization and you'll find that women worth more than youthful gameplaying will not respond to whatever rulebook you're following at the moment. Either way, it's your life and you have to live it your way.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses |
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02-21-2006, 07:04 PM | #45 (permalink) | |
Rawr!
Location: Edmontania
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You may or may not be personality deficient, I don't know you well enough to say either way. But I know from what you've posted that you will never be able to make a real, solid, stable relationship with another woman until you show your true self to them.
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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim |
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02-21-2006, 07:31 PM | #46 (permalink) |
Insane
Location: South Florida
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I'm not taking a side in this I'd jsut like to lend a little bit of what I was thinking upon reading these posts. Social interaction, especially with those whom we do not know well, is manipulative. Examine the rituals of our culture: we say, "Hello, how are you?" We shake hands or hug or even kiss. We do those things to put the other person at ease, in other words we manipulate them. Just because we are using techniques to make another person feel easy and thusly manipulating them, does not mean we harbor negative intentions. That's just one example of how everyone manipulates others in a social situation.
And on this idea of being honest... How much of the time are we even honest to ourselves? Why should we commit ourselves to be completely honest to others. I used to make it a point to be honest to my ex. Many times I'd tell her the truth... at that moment. Later my mind could have changed, but since I presented my thoughts at the time as honesty, it became incredibly hard to take those things back just because my opinions had changed. Honesty can be painful, not always nessecary, and worst, not always true. Apply that idea to someone we just met. We may be decieving them even moreso by being upfront and honest! We project what we think are admirable traits in our soical interaction, what we want to be, or what the mean of our personality is. Just because you feel like shit one day doesnt mean all the people you meet that day have to know about it, and consequently assume thats how you are all the time. We owe it to people to show them who we usually are, or what we have every intention of being. Honestly, that's more honest than the truth of the moment. Interacting is complex. The idea of just being "honest" is an oversimplification of the problem. You are just avoiding admittance that relating to others is difficult, learned, and at its core, manipulative. Honesty is also intimacy... It carries a certian weight for you and the person recieving it. We should not be expected to share a piece of our inner self to everyone who we meet. That would be draining for us, and to assume the other person even wants our honesty is offensive to them. Forcing that level of intimacy upon early encounters is foolish. Most people gaurd their inner selves more than they do their physical selves, they would rather have sex with someone than share the deepest thoughts. Apply that to a new relationship. Being completely honest is like you had already been having sex before you even met!
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Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die. "That's it, send out the ninjas!" "So then I had to kill my way to the second floor." Last edited by MEAD; 02-21-2006 at 10:16 PM.. |
02-21-2006, 09:59 PM | #47 (permalink) | |
Junkie
Location: Chicago
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Mead, I have to admit you make an excellent point and in that manner this makes me rethink my previous posts. While I disagree with his methods and wouldn't utilize them myself, your post causes me to agree that we all manipulate to an extent, and therefore passing judgment on the OP in that light is a bit hypocritical on my part. I guess we never think it's wrong when we do it for our own reasons.
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"I can normally tell how intelligent a man is by how stupid he thinks I am" - Cormac McCarthy, All The Pretty Horses |
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02-21-2006, 10:13 PM | #49 (permalink) | |
Insane
Location: South Florida
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Here are some phrases I'd like to be able to say, in all honesty, before I die. "That's it, send out the ninjas!" "So then I had to kill my way to the second floor." |
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02-21-2006, 11:54 PM | #50 (permalink) |
Location: Iceland
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So with this game stuff, what happens after one or two years into a serious relationship? Do you keep up the game all the way into getting married? Having kids? Do you keep up the game around your wife when she's pregnant, testing her bitch shield? Do you use the game in order to avoid taking out the garbage or washing dishes?
I may sound facetious here, but really... I don't see how any relationship starting with personality facades can last for a significant amount of time, given the realities of actual relationships. It seems that relationships started by "having game" must end shortly thereafter (no longer than a year, tops). At some point the truth has to come out. Anyone seen the movie "About a Boy"? ...perfect example.
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And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran |
02-22-2006, 03:33 AM | #52 (permalink) | |
Psycho
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Girls can be flaky, ambivalent, wish-washy, capricious, which causes guys to have to resort to this kind of shit. And no, that does not mean all the girls i've interacted with have bad character or whatnot. I've interacted with a few 'good' ones and from my friends' experiences as well, girls can be VERY fickle (even teh good ones). And, seriously guys, you have to be yourself and honest, but you have to know how to present it properly. If you hang out with a girl only a few times, then, being honest, say "I like you" most likely you will get smack back and she will run. No, I am not scarred. But you just have to read it right. And those 'game' skills the OP talks about just helps you navigate the social mazes. And no, that doesn't mean that only 'bad' girls play the social game. If you step into a job interview and say, "I really really am super qualified and I totally want to work for you! Please!" I wonder how they will react. But if you play it cool, be confident, say it slow and steady, in a more proper way, you will do much better. Does that mean your being fake? Nooo.. you have to handle the social aspect too. The argument would be: if you play the 'game', you attract only those bad-characters who 'play the game'. This just depends on what extent and how you 'play the game'. Like skier said, if you use it only as a tool to better present yourself, then bravo. If you act deceitful with it, then well, thats bad in my opinion. Last edited by match000; 02-22-2006 at 04:10 AM.. |
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02-22-2006, 03:38 AM | #53 (permalink) | |
Psycho
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I agree with teh respecting women part 110%, but really, you shouldn't tell people to 'stop chasing girls.' I mean, it doesn't happen magically all by itself. You have to at least be socially reaching outward. |
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02-22-2006, 07:49 AM | #55 (permalink) | |
Lover - Protector - Teacher
Location: Seattle, WA
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In the style of Carn,
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I can't fathom a relationship whose foundation began by "breaking down a"bitch shield" being a meaningful relationship. While I might accept that having "game" is an effective strategy for getting laid, I don't think anyone here can argue that it's a good strategy for HAVING A REAL RELATIONSHIP. You know, where the people talk about things that matter, love each other, and stuff..
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"I'm typing on a computer of science, which is being sent by science wires to a little science server where you can access it. I'm not typing on a computer of philosophy or religion or whatever other thing you think can be used to understand the universe because they're a poor substitute in the role of understanding the universe which exists independent from ourselves." - Willravel |
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02-22-2006, 01:14 PM | #56 (permalink) |
Rawr!
Location: Edmontania
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I find this thread fascinating. The TFP community is usually very open towards different viewpoints yet this really strikes a nerve with the majority of members here, and the nature of the posts from both sides are quite aggresive/preachy/stubborn. Why is this such an important issue?
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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim |
02-22-2006, 01:30 PM | #57 (permalink) | |
Psycho
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02-22-2006, 01:49 PM | #58 (permalink) | |
Extreme moderation
Location: Kansas City, yo.
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"The question isn't who is going to let me, it's who is going to stop me." (Ayn Rand) "The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers." (M. Scott Peck) |
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02-22-2006, 02:22 PM | #59 (permalink) | |
Falling Angel
Location: L.A. L.A. land
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I understand that "the game" means flirting and social interaction, and taking control of the situations one finds oneself in, which to me is a good and admirable trait. However, it's foolish to deny that use of value-based verbage like "devalue the woman", "play games", and the resoundingly popular "bitch shield" invoke an image of childishness, immaturity, penis-based thinking. The OP has since clarified his stance and added more information with what is, at least to this community, can be viewed as better, clearer, and more thoughtful language. And the next time anyone refers to a Communications major as an easy, cheerleader-type major is gonna get bopped inthe back of the head! (see other threads relating to college majors and the like.) I could have thrown in something about context, but I figured that'd be gratuitous. signed, Your Friendly Local Communications graduate/douchebag threadjacker.
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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." - Matt Groening My goal? To fulfill my potential. |
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02-22-2006, 02:25 PM | #60 (permalink) |
Junkie
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Well, I think that most people here think that the original poster is immature and/or a player. So are TFP'ers (as mostly really mature people) expected to be tolerant towards people who are immature? Kinda like the question, are tolerant people supposed to be tolerant towards intolerant people.
I don't think the OP is any of what I stated above, so I gave my honest answer and tried to be helpful. But some people I guess decided this thread didn't merit a helpful answer. Hypocritical? I dunno, but it kinda annoyed me.
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02-22-2006, 02:27 PM | #61 (permalink) | |
Junkie
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For what it's worth, I thought your post was funny as hell
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02-22-2006, 02:35 PM | #62 (permalink) | |
Rawr!
Location: Edmontania
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I totally agree here. I feel it's more than just the context of the OP's subject. The issue of being a player or learning/using techniques for the express purpose of attracting women seems to be putting people on edge. The terminology is certainly a contributing factor- instead of saying you broke down a bitch shield, you said you "broke the ice", the reaction I believe would be more favorable.
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"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim Last edited by skier; 02-22-2006 at 02:38 PM.. Reason: quoted wrong person |
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02-22-2006, 07:02 PM | #63 (permalink) | |
Psycho
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I'm sorry, but it is easy. Compared to.. hard sciences... engineering... |
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03-26-2006, 09:43 AM | #66 (permalink) |
Coy, sultry and... naughty!
Location: Across the way
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I think what it comes down to is this: guys generally aren't very good at flirting, teasing, etc. It seems to be something that comes naturally to us girls. If guys are learning how to flirt, I say GREAT! We all benefit.
Also, I see the word manipulation mentioned several times in this thread... if you ask me, manipulation is buying a woman dinner and gifts to get her into bed or to pay attention to you. While I'll admit I like dinner and gifts etc, it doesn't necessarily make me interested in the guy. Flirting well will give you a much better chance of getting my attention. And while personality may not keep a woman interested forever, it will at least get her curious enough to find out more about you, in a similar way that a good-looking woman will get you interested long enough for you to want to see if she's as cool a person as she is hot. |
03-26-2006, 01:37 PM | #67 (permalink) | |
TFP Mad Scientist
Location: Philadelphia, PA
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"Let's Just Be Friends" = The worst thing a woman could ever tell a man. I guess the most solid response a guy could give is "sure," and then proceed to cut off all contact with that woman---if she's guilty of having led him on for a long time giving him false hope. If she tells you this right off the bat before you actually start developing genuine feelings for her then it's cool, but I'd still suggest you take some time away from her to get your interest focused on other women before you renew contact with her as a platonic friend.
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Doncalypso... the one and only Haitian Sensation |
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