jmad

Hey everyone,
Granted I haven't been an active member of this board for about 6 months or so, I now find myself in a weird situation and would love some input/adivce from you folks.

Some background in a nutshell...I'm 21, goto school in Wisconsin, and am studying abroad in Spain. I've been in a city in Spain for 2 weeks with other exchange students, taking an intensive spanish speaking course. Needless to say, I've been meeting a lot of people from other places, and I love it. I met this Aussie girl that is going to school at the same Uni I am, and we really hit it off when I got to talk to her one on one a few nights ago. Now I have to tell you that I have a problem with trusting people(I'm very insecure about myself), but after talking with this girl for a few hours I felt like I could trust her with my life. I think it goes both ways, because she has told me so much about herself; from the farm she lives on back home to how much she loves animals to her problems she has with depression. I'm not sure if I'm just attracted to this girl because she has faults I can relate to or just because I can talk to her about anything. Needless to say, I haven't felt like this about a girl for a while.

I'm not going to spill my guts but I have serious feelings for this girl. At the same time, I'm trying to take the same attitude everyone else has: have as much fun as you can while studying abroad.

Now here's the kicker: tonight all the exchange students had a going away party, because some of the exchange students are staying here, and some are going to a different city in Spain for school. Everything was going great; I was having a blast with all my new friends, the Aussie girl was looking great, and everyone was going to a discoteca later that night. We had a big dinner at the school's cafeteria, and a lot of people went to a bar afterwards. I was talking to the Aussie girl at the bar for a while, and then she dropped a bomb on me. She told me that even though she liked me a lot, she'd been sleeping with a guy that was visiting from New Zealand for the past few nights. This is the point where I was totally lost for words, and while she telling me this, all I could tell her was "I want you to do whatever makes you happy". I was telling the truth, and I think I actually said it without any malice in my tone. She said some other things to me, but I really didn't pay attention, and I headed straight to the bar and started taking multiple shots of vodka more than once. I got drunk as a skunk, went with all my friends to the discoteca, puked in the bathroom there, drank a lot of water, and danced in a druken stupor until 7 in the morning. The Aussie girl tried to call me that night, but I didn't answer, either because I was too drunk or I was too depressed to talk to her. The night was really a blur after she told me about the other guy.

Now I would like to know what you all think I should do. Any advice would be appreciated. I'm not sure if I should keep pursuing this girl, or act cool, or just blow her off. Anything to help me move past this would be really great, because I plan on hitting up the discotecas again tonight.

streak_56

Well, I think right now your in the "friendship" stage. For some its a stage of peril. Others it could grow into a relationship. Basically, I would sit back and enjoy the times. Wait for her to make the move because you already "subconciously" said that you are interested by the comment "I want you to do whatever is best for you." Which means I'm interested but waiting for the right moment. Get to know her a little more, become better friends and see where it goes from there.

Now, I'm not saying wait till your 40 and still living in your parents basement but just give her some time and try to find someone else. As bad as it sounds, she might get jealous of this relationship and realize that your a great guy and that she would want to be with you. You don't know what you have until it's gone, and hopefully she'll realize this. If not, well you have one really good friend from Australia and you would only have four more continents to make friends on. (Asia, Africa, South America and Antartica)

Carno

If it were me, I'd probably just be friendly to her and move on.

Coincidentally, a slightly similar situation just happened to me

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fresnelly

Your hurt and that's fair. But if your real question is "How can I make her want me?", then forget it.

You'd only be creating unnecessary drama for yourself and the rest of the class. Pull back, be the friend friend, and try not to become posessive or have high expectations. In time she may come around, but you shouldn't depend on it, or exclude other opportunties based on that hope.

Focus your energies elsewhere. I'm not just talking about women here. Focus on your education and how cool being in Spain is. That should help you get over her.

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Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

jmad

Thanks for the input everyone.

fresnelly, you are completely right. I'm going out right now with all my friends for dinner and a night on the town, and the last thing I'm going to think about is this situation. Life's a bitch, then you die. That's why you have to enjoy the journey.

tooth

Keeping busy with other friends is about the best thing you can do.