Soul Mates: Who believes?
 

So I have never been the soppy romantic (well maybe in my teenage years). Anyway, I always hear people talk about soulmates and how they are destined to meet. I guess soulmates and fate go hand-in-hand. Well, I was reading a philosophy book the other day and there was a chapter about soulmates. It was very interesting. I guess Plato believed that long ago we were all androgynous creatures. However, with evolution or something, we were spilt apart into male and female. Therefore, we are always looking for out other half and that would be our soulmate. I think that reincarnation would have to fit into the puzzle also because obviously we aren't split before birth (unless we are identical twins).

Anyway, though I am a skeptic, it seems as if fate has played a part in my life and if it did then maybe I have found my soulmate. How else do you explain why a guy growing up in San Fransisco, moving to Germany, and then somehow ending up in a small town in WV? There are other circumstances too, that make it feasible, but I'm too cynical.

I think that some people miss out on chances because they are always looking for the ONE and never are happy. But then you have people who think that everyone they meet is the ONE.

I guess I am just curious: What are your thoughts on soulmates and fate? :confused:

I don't believe in fate, I don't believe in souls, and I am certainly not a romantic. Nonetheless, I have met my soulmate. I think that using that term is just a way to explain the unexplainable: it provides an account of why such incredible relationships are able to form. So, when taken literally, the term soulmate has no meaning to me. But conceptually, soulmates are a very rare and wonderful thing. I feel so fortunate to have fallen in love with mine.

Shhhh... Don't tell anyone... I have a pretty strong romantic side... Least I used to...

But soulmates? Eh - not so much.. otherwise the divorce rate, and infidelity rates wouldn't be as high as they are.

I do beleive, perhaps, in being in the right place at the right time... maybe that's fate, maybe that's luck, maybe it just is what it is... Two people in the right place at the right time... I don't it's some mystical force drawing two souls together... thought it's be kinda cool if it was... I just don't think it is.

I most definately believe dave is my soul mate, but it took us 20 years of running in the same circles to actually meet, and then it had to happen ONLINE. (see my thread about near misses and you S/O or something to that affect). If the tilted mag EVER decides to come out you will see some of it there too, if my submission is included.

I firmly believe dave is the one I was meant to be with, just as I firmly believe I had to have certain life experiences before we DID meet, so that I could appreciate our connection all the more. I am the yin to his yang....he is the salt to my tomatoe...he mirrors my own soul so well I cant NOT believe that he's my soulmate

Crotchety cynic checking in.


I hate the term, it implies a level of perfection that simply doesn't exist in my marriage and, I suspect, most others. Relationships are a lot of work, "soulmate" is just an unreasonable expectation.

I too do not believe in fate or souls and so cannot believe that I have a soulmate.

However, I do believe that there is a right person at the right time.

In warehouse full of gears and cogs at least two will fit together and work well in union. They will work together forever if they are properly maintained (cleaned and oiled).

The same is true of people.

I have been lucky enough to meet, marry and have children with a woman whom I not only love but like. We work well together. Romance, communication and compromise are just some of the maintenance neccessary.

I knew it!!!!! :D

/me scribbles in notebook
OK...I'm usin' that one.

I don't think that's there's anything like a soulmate, or the One, or whatever you want to call it. The idea that there is something like this is a ghastly fiction; ghastly because it implies, as StanT pointed out, that once you meet the One, things will just fall into place and be great from day one to the last day. Relationships just don't work like that; there are going to be some rough spots, and if you believe that you should be with your soulmate, you're that much more likely to think "Well, I thought she was the one, but I guess I was wrong", rather than trying to work it out. I think there's just a bunch of people who are all more or less compatible with each other.

I totally believe in soulmates, but I don't believe that there is only one for everyone. I believe a soulmate is just a person who makes you so unbelievable happy when you are with them. So, a best friend can be a soulmate in a completely platonic way. So maybe when two people are together and feel 'love' or whatever their souls are physically meeting, or maybe the soul can be described as the chemistry in a person's body and the 'meeting' is just pure human bondage.

It's one of those things... :confused:

.....I found mine.......

i used to believe in this kind of relation--i liked the story of from plato that is the basis of it--two souls united at some level broken apart when they shift into this world and so are like two pieces of a whole (i think of this whole as a donut) searching for each other. but experience erased any access i might have once had to this kind of story.

then i realized that i do not know, and have never known, what the word "soul" means, except as a label for music by james brown, wilson picket, etc.
i generally encounter it in conversations with people, all of whom act like they know what the soul is.
i know the religious traditions that enframe the terms in various ways.
but to accept that register of explanation, you have to accept much else, starting with a basic level of belief, which i find uninteresting personally--so these systems are mostly strange proofs operating on particular premises.
usually soul is essence for humans.
so humans are things, like tables or rocks, except not quite because---well---of vanity?
humans can change, they deploy over time, they can make and remake themselves--if that is the case, even at a surface level, then what is the function of a soul or essence?

is it energy, the soul?
well, if that is what is being described, why use the word "soul"?
it seems that the word individuates a phenomenon that is not necessarily individual at all (though it can be--what "it" is is a function of how you understand it)

is it a way of designating the experience of consciousness, the mediation of a platform that seems to float above physical determinants? then why is the soul not simply a default term, something that indicates the limits of the logic that has been used to think about consciousness rather than a way of designating a coherent attribute?

these things frankly confuse me.

No. I don't believe in soulmates. I also don't believe in everlasting love. I think love fizzles out as the years go on. Its human nature to fall out of love. You may feel, "this is the only person I'm ever going to love for the rest of my life," and you feel true love, but it most likely won't last forever. "Ya, but Johnny, what about my grandparents who have been together for 50 years, huh Johnny, you heartless piece of shit! Isn't that everlasting love!?" I feel if you have been together for a long time, you get used to a lifestyle, children etc., you may not be in love with your wife/husband, but feel afraid to leave because you don't want to do it all over again, don't want to be alone, have money problems, and change your life completely. So no, I don't believe in soulmates or everlasting love. Although, I search for it.

[/QUOTE]
I do beleive, perhaps, in being in the right place at the right time... maybe that's fate, maybe that's luck, maybe it just is what it is... Two people in the right place at the right time... I don't it's some mystical force drawing two souls together... thought it's be kinda cool if it was... I just don't think it is.[/QUOTE]

I agree with you on being at the right place at the right time. Timing is everything. As for soul mates im a little skeptical on that one, I believe that there are many people out there for you its just all based on your timing and certain circumstances.

no i dont...i beleive in fate and that other ppl can feed the soul..not one otherperson though...but i am too cynical

I don't know from "soul mate". What I know is: from very early after meeting lurkette (like hours or days, not weeks), I knew I never wanted to be without her again.

Could I have had that reaction with somebody else? Maybe, but who cares. lurkette's the one I had it with.

i believe in fate to a degree. i think higher powers can give pushes in the right direction, but it's really us that make the final call. i'd also like to believe that things happen for a reason because otherwise a lot of things just purely suck.

after meeting lurkette (like hours or days, not weeks), I knew I never wanted to be without her again.

i know htat feeling..i ave only ever had it once and it was caused by a guy not far from here :lol:

but if they dont feel the same way it destroys you ;)

Soul mates? Naw. A pretty idea, but an unlikely one. Just like heaven and hell, ideas invented by us to make us feel safe about our place in life. Band aids really, that keep us from facing truth.

i have to totally agree with u zeraph...stil i suppose those kind of ideas help!

I do not believe there is just one person out there that is absolutely perfect for me. I believe there are many individuals I will never meet in my lifetime that I could have a lasting relationship with. It all boils down to being in the right place at the right time.

Everybody believes in soul mates at one time or another. Then the shit hits the fan.

I would happen to agree with this. Not with Lurkette but with Lead543. There are certain things that you wouldn't want to do with anyone else anymore because of that person. Going to/renting movies, zoo, and out for dinner will never be the same to me. I had the same thing as you, not weeks more like days/hours for me. As women say that they "knew," sometimes (as with me and ratbastid) we had the same reaction.

taking the term at it's most literal, as in - the one and only person meant for me. I think it's rubbish chances are we'd never meet them (although that would account for high divorce rates and infidelity). but as a cultural term to mean that one person out of all others you have encountered in you life that you feel such a strong connection to then yeah I believe in soulmates but there are many different fits

Plato's Origin of Love

but, if you want the cooler version, listen to Origin of Love from the Hedwig and the Angry Inch soundtrack.

I don't know what I believe. I'd like to think that there are such things as soulmates, but it seems too squishy.

I do believe in the ability for one person to make you (want to) believe that you're soulmates though. I've got that one down pat.

My wife and I are about as perfect together as can be, yet I wouldn't call us 'soulmates'.

We are not joined, but we have a relationship that must be fostered and maintained like any other. We do have the right combination of abilities/outlook/intelligence that complement each other and I think thats about as close as one can get.

Soulmate. Do souls mate too :) It's not something I believe in, but what if someone does meet there soulmate, and then does something foolish and cheats, gets a divorce, and just blows it? Then I two people will be missing out. I hear about people getting together all the time, but my mother and two of my aunts have mostly (and still are), single. Did they past their soulmates by, or there are no soulmates, and that's just how they decided to live their lives.

I believe in soul mates, but not in an exclusive, one-to-one deal. I think one can share a deep connection with a large number of people.

I thought I did. I met a similar soul that I'm drawn to. But not destined for love, though we're so complementary that it's scary sometimes.

I still believe that every pot has a lid... you've got to get through the dented one to find the one that seals just right.

No, I don't believe in soulmates. I believe that there are hundreds, if not thousands of people on this Earth that any one person could fall in true love with....and one person could make you happier than the next for whatever reason, and therefore you could be happiest with probably a handful above all others. But as for one person you meant to be with, or completes you....I don't believe in that.

I don't believe in soulmates. I believe people come into your life for a reason, although that reason may not be clear at first...I truly have no idea what would constitute a 'soulmate'.

I am not sure if I believe in soul mates or not, but I think it's very easy to use the term liberally.

For instance, when you first meet someone, you think they are great, and everything seems to "click" initially. They might feel the same way, but it's impossible to know this, as they might not feel the same connection you do.

I think true soul mates aren't aware of their connection until a fair amount of time has passed. There are so many factors involved with meeting a potential "soul mate" early on, that I think it makes it easy to abuse the term.

It also varies depending on the person and their situation. I think people desperate for love are going to find a "soul mate" much easier than someone who is content being single. Soul mate is a nice term, and it seemingly gives everyone hope that they will find Miss Right, get the house in the good neighborhood, and raise a few kids, when realistically, things won't go that smoothly.

Also, there are so many people out there that I don't think anyone finds their "best" match; and instead settle for "less," which can still result in a superb relationship.

I belive in love, but not soul mates. In my mind there's a difference.

I believe in fate. I'm undecided about the whole soulmate thing... there are so many people out there....who has the time to just meet the 'one'?

Well put, and welcome to TFP.

Soulmates? I dunno. I did have an interesting experience with what seemed like fate at one point in my life. Many years ago I was at the happy hour at a club that had a runway fashion show a couple of times a month. As I watched with mild interest this one amazingly gorgeous red head with pale skin and green eyes strolled down the runway. I was crazy smitten. From that day on I made sure to be at the club when they had the fashion shows. I started to feel like she was seeing me too. My friend told me she probably couldn't see past the stage lights and it was my wishful thinking but I could swear we were locking eyes. Anyhoo, time passed and I didn't see her for a while then one night in this same club she ran up, gave me a big kiss smackaroo right on the lips then ran off and dissapeared before I could grab her, talk to her, or really react in any way but utter shock. The next day I moved out of state. I was gone for three years and would often have dreams about her. Not the crazy sex dreams you pervs! Romantic sort of "love and roses" type of dreams. I was always dissapointed to wake up. A little over three years later I moved back to the city. A couple of weeks in a friend of mine asked if I would go on a blind double date with him. I knew he and his girlfriend and they thought I'd be a good match for this "mystery" girl. We met the girls at a nightclub (not the aforementioned place). It was her! My amazing redhead, surprise kiss, runway model, dreamgirl! I absolutely could not believe it! It wasn't a set-up, my friend knew nothing about my past experience with the woman. It was strictly chance or dare I say it...fate. We ended up hitting it off really well and were together for about a year before we went our separate ways. Had we been in different places in our lives we might have gotten married but that's not how things turned out. Could she have been my soul-mate? Sure, it just wasn't our time. I got lucky a second time and met another soul-mate. My beautiful wife Julie. There were about twelve years in between meeting each of these woman and none of the girls in between really add up to much. So sure, soul mates can happen, even more than once, but I think its rare.

i am a firm believer in fate and soul mates, that is to say that your soul mate is not neccessarily the one you end up with.it's quite sad when you think about it like that, that the one who completes you, who's hand fits in perfectly with yours is not the one your fate will lead you to.

but...if you're lucky, fate might lead you to something better.

now, im not saying it's like that for all people, dont get me wrong, and im not saying that i believe in reincarnation but is it possible for two people who were so compatible together at one stage depart from eachother without a trace, without a word of where they going or what they'll be doing?, and meet up again sometime in the future?

i fully believe that if you're meant to be together, you will be.if not now and if not ten years from now and if not twenty years from now...there will come a time when your fate will lead you to your soul mate...that is if you are deserving of it.by that i mean, if you have lead a clean life if you've been happy with what you were given, "accepted the things you could not change" ...then i believe that GOD and fate would give you what you deserve, because no matter what anyone says ...it aint up to you.

some people may have a different opinion on that and thats fine, but i firmly believe that my fate rests in the hands of god.

i mean, i dont know whats going to happen twenty years down the line and it always crosses my mind what if henri and i dont end up together?...i just dont know

and even though im am a firm believer in fate and destiny, i do also believe that how you live your life is what your fate and destiny will be.

:)

This is where I am currently a little confused. I've been with a wonderful man for 6 months now, although it hasn't all been smooth sailing. I do love him....but part of me wonders if he is the one I should be with. Is my true soulmate out there? I do believe in such animals and I'm not sure my current man is "the one".

i havent made up my mind yet about soulmates. i think its just coincidental.

case in point: my current situation.

he was my grade nine crush that everyone has on some "out of your league" guy.
that carried on for nearly 4 years.
then for some reason or another, he introduced himself to me. and it wasn't as if we ever hung out with the same group of friends or anything... it was just random.

and with some tedious research between my best friend and i, we also figured out i had a childhood crush on him in grade 2 as well.