Meditrina

I was amazed at the difference between boys and girls, the way they play with the same toys. Is this genetic or learned? My son is mainly around girls (me, his sister and his grandma). My husband hardly spends time with him. So where did he learn it from? I would be interested in reading any articles anyone may know of about this and would love to hear your views on it. I haven't decided my views on it yet, I need to research it.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

Zegel

I think it's a little bit of both actually. In general girls seem to be more apt to nurture their toys, which could by why they like dolls and stuffed animals. They seem to be able to bring them to life in their imaginations. Little boys on the other hand seem to have a harder time making that connection, and tend to see dolls as just another object (such as an object which needs to be taken apart immediately, starting with the head =P).

That said, kids will still gravitate towards the environment that they're given. Personally, I feel that a child's environment determines their personallity much more than genetics, it just takes longer to take hold.

f6twister

What differences are you refering to? What does your son do differently than the girls?

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A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

Meditrina

My son, for example, will use anything as a sword right now. and when playing with the same toy as my daughter, he is more aggressive. They were playing with my daughter's doll house yesterday, and he only wanted to play with the boy dolls and had them climbing all over the place. While she set up everything just so, and made them talk to each other and stuff like that. I know there is a big age difference right now, but when she was his age, she played the same way she plays now. I can definitely see the more nuturing side of her, and the more adventurous side of him. It just amazes me how different they are, when surrounded by the same toys. I hope I explained it right.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

ngdawg

My twins are boy/girl and there is a definite mindset that seems be evolutionary. She never cared for cars-he would line them up by size and color(ok, not normal, but that's my kid). He thought playing with dolls meant you pulled their heads off and threw them around, which would make her cry-she did their hair, their clothes and mommied the baby dolls. They both had legos and blocks but she didn't take much interest in those-she preferred making beaded bracelets.
As they grew, this mindset continued. She talks online and plays few games-he plays wargames-talks little.
Even as infants, he was the aggressor-chasing her in their walkers and such.
I just basically followed their lead rather than push one way or another when it came to play choices.

Sage

This is something that I've discussed extensively in my psychology and philosophy classes in college. Boys have a preclivity towards being aggressive, due in part to their hormones. However, most behavior is learned, and so the way your children are acting is probably due to the way they were brought up. Your son being around girls all the time doesn't mean he's going to act like a girl, because he is acting in response to the way he has been treated. You might not notice anyone doing it, or you doing it, but you're going to treat your son differently than your daughter, because that's the way that people tend to act. It is a very subliminal thing too, with advertising and media portraying boys one way and girls another. So your children have picked it up a lot of different places.
Most importantly, however, is now that you know they're acting different, you make sure they don't enter the realm of "girls are this way all the time, boys are that way all the time." I think that a lot of problems between the sexes could be solved if parents made the effort to teach their children that different doesn't mean diddly squat outside of the bedroom.

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sashime76

Well, one of my boys likes to play anything that bounces and the other anything on wheels. My 4 yr old like action figures and sometimes stuff animals, the little one could careless. Both of them go to the same homecare and play with pretty much the same kids there.

Derwood

I have a 2 year old girl who likes cars....

And I was never the destroy things/run around like crazy/etc. boy growing up either.

Sometimes I think that little boys' level of energy/chaos is in direct proportion to how much KoolAid their moms give them. It's okay not to give your kids sugar, honest!

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"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

Meditrina

I agree with you on this. and I am trying to let both of my children know that they can both play ball and they can both play with dolls, that everyone plays with the same toys in their own way.

I agree with this too, to an extent. Some kids might be getting too much sugar and therefore are on a "sugar high". I, personally, do not think that I let my son have too much sugar, unless the amount I do let him have is too much for him. I am guessing each child would have a different level of sugar that they can handle. Maybe I should experiment and cut back on what I do give him. Although, that would be implying that I think his behavior is bad, and it is not. It is just different from my daughter's. I would never expect the 2 of them to be the same, even if they were the same gender. After having only a girl for 6 years, having a boy has been interesting, exciting and a learning experience for me. I love watching the 2 of them play, together and alone.

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"Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras