Home dad - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

spindles · 01-09-2005, 02:14 PM

My little boy is 6 months old. His mother has returned to work today, so today is my first day as home dad. I work from home and my hours are pretty flexible, so I anticipate getting not much work done during the day, and being rather busy in the evenings.

Are there any other home dads here?

Is anybody else mixing up a paying job with raising their children?

We are doing this as an experiment to see whether we can pull it off. This gives my wife a break (two days a week) away from our son and will give us a little more money in the pocket - which will be a big help.

Ella · 01-09-2005, 02:25 PM

Hey, well done, Spindles! My ex husband and I used to share the "mum" role when our kids were little (I went back to work part time when both of them were around 6 months old as well). Luckily his hours allowed us to do this, and the kids were the ones who benefitted from the experience as well as him.

However, he didn't always do everything I asked him to do during the day, and sometimes I'd get home at 5.30pm and he'd be playing with the baby and the dishes would still be on the sink and the house was a mess....*sigh*. Sometimes a gal has just gotta let go of that stuff!

spindles · 01-09-2005, 02:33 PM

I am trying to get some work done in the spare time (like now when he is sleeping) .

Plus mrs spindles did the washing up before she left

Seriously, I think we are both about the same level of tidiness people. I think I do my share.

Ella · 01-09-2005, 02:53 PM

Ah, well that's the key to success then.

Good luck mate!

Ralli · 01-09-2005, 04:18 PM

I think that it is bloody brilliant that a MAN is staying home with his child to be a home dad. It is too stereotypical that the female stays home. In this day and age it doesnt matter, and why not.......

I stayed home with my 3 year old for the first 5 months of his life. If we had it, the the BF would have stayed home, but he earnt more than I so it was only natural that I stay home.

It isnt easy mate, but you will get the hang of it.

spindles · 01-09-2005, 05:53 PM

Welllll, I'm not a complete home dad - I still earn significantly more, I just do it from home. But Mondays and Tuesdays it's just him and me - today I'm posting while he is sleeping, then we'll be kicking back and getting ready to watch the cricket

coldhands · 01-31-2005, 02:57 PM

I am a "complete" at home Dad. Our son is 14 weeks old. I freelance and work almost exclusively from home. My wife works at an office nearby so it just made sense for me to stay home with the little guy.

It was great while she was home on family leave. We all got to be together for 8 weeks and then almost all the time for the few more weeks over the holidays as my wife worked a limited schedule.

I find that being home with our son levels things out a bit. He gets to be with me all day, and then my wife is recharged and really eager to be with him at night. He gets to experience both of us as the primary caregiver so I think he benefits from it.

Believe it or not, we are also nursing the baby. Thanks to the fact that we live close to her work (a block) it is really easy for her to pop home over lunch and/or for the occasional feeding. Otherwise she pumps and I bottle feed during the day. It seems to work well for all of us.

As far as getting work done, it is hit or miss. Some days I can manage to get a lot done, while other days he is a bit fussy and it is a challenge to accomplish any work tasks. I also do a bit of apologizing for the crying in the background when my clients call, but for the most part they understand and are supportive.

All things considered, I love being at stay at home dad (or Mr. Mom as we are sometimes called). PM me if you want to swap more stories and good luck with your little one.

spindles · 01-31-2005, 06:21 PM

I admire you for attempting this. On the days where my wife is working I get very little done during the day. I am lucky in that I consult to a company that is in a different time zone to me, so working during the day is not a necessity. I find, apart from his sleep times, he needs almost constant attention, especially when he starts crawling (which is any day now). The only spare time I have is when he is sleeping and by and large I try to do some housework during that time. There are days like today where I had a significant amount I needed to get done, and I made a good go of that during his first sleep and am going to make progress now he is back in bed.

Up to about 4 or 5 months you can just put them down somewhere and do other things, but it does not continue ad infinitum (perhaps unfortunately

).

It is good that your clients are supportive, as is my employer.

Good luck to you as well.

KMA-628 · 01-31-2005, 06:36 PM

Another stay-at-home dad here.

I peaked professionally so I quit work and went back to school.

I am also partnering with another person on a start-up; I am the "behind-the-scenes" guy. Fortunately, most of my work can be done virtual; unfortunately we aren't as busy as I would like to be.

So...school/work/dad.....keeps me pretty busy.

I have three kids. One's in first grade, the other will start preschool in Aug. and the other just graduated terrorist training camp (she's almost 2).

I can't wait until all three are in school full-time, but I'll probably be back to work by then.

Edit: anyone know of good places to find freelance work. I would like to make even more money, but not finding a lot of options. I have used Guru.com for about 8 months with no luck, mainly because I am not interested in making $6/hr.

edmos1 · 02-02-2005, 10:02 AM

Wife is due in July, I WFH 4 days a week, so we will probably try me a couple of half days a week, to keep child care costs reasonable. that way I can have the dedicated time at work, and some more free time later. Wife will probably change her schedule a bit so she works one day on the weekend, and is off during the week, so I can go into the office. Hope it works out, infant day care is expensive.

raveneye · 02-02-2005, 10:45 AM

My wife is leaning toward having another one, but only if I stay at home. She says the stress and boredom with the first one was enough for her for a lifetime, but would have another if I did all the duties the next time around.

I'm seriously considering it. We could probably manage financially, but my life would not be what it is now . . . .

spindles · 02-02-2005, 01:54 PM

I understand the stress and boredom thing - even two days a week seems like the day goes by so slowly - he takes a lot of attnetion, but doesn't do much

The first day I had him, my wife came home just in time - I handed him over and escaped

but I'm getting better at it - I tend to be quite productive work wise after y wife gets home.

sexymama · 02-03-2005, 07:53 PM

I admire any parent that stays home with their child(ren) and do a good job. I love my kids and am a great parent -- but I have to work! Congrats to all you wonderful dads!

01-09-2005, 02:14 PM	#1 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	Home dad My little boy is 6 months old. His mother has returned to work today, so today is my first day as home dad. I work from home and my hours are pretty flexible, so I anticipate getting not much work done during the day, and being rather busy in the evenings. Are there any other home dads here? Is anybody else mixing up a paying job with raising their children? We are doing this as an experiment to see whether we can pull it off. This gives my wife a break (two days a week) away from our son and will give us a little more money in the pocket - which will be a big help. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

01-09-2005, 02:25 PM	#2 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	Hey, well done, Spindles! My ex husband and I used to share the "mum" role when our kids were little (I went back to work part time when both of them were around 6 months old as well). Luckily his hours allowed us to do this, and the kids were the ones who benefitted from the experience as well as him. However, he didn't always do everything I asked him to do during the day, and sometimes I'd get home at 5.30pm and he'd be playing with the baby and the dishes would still be on the sink and the house was a mess....sigh. Sometimes a gal has just gotta let go of that stuff! __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

01-09-2005, 02:33 PM	#3 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	I am trying to get some work done in the spare time (like now when he is sleeping) . Plus mrs spindles did the washing up before she left Seriously, I think we are both about the same level of tidiness people. I think I do my share. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

01-09-2005, 02:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
Ella Ella Bo Bella Location: Australia	Ah, well that's the key to success then. Good luck mate! __________________ "Afterwards, the universe will explode for your pleasure."

01-09-2005, 04:18 PM	#5 (permalink)
Ralli Tilted Location: Brisbane, Australia	I think that it is bloody brilliant that a MAN is staying home with his child to be a home dad. It is too stereotypical that the female stays home. In this day and age it doesnt matter, and why not....... I stayed home with my 3 year old for the first 5 months of his life. If we had it, the the BF would have stayed home, but he earnt more than I so it was only natural that I stay home. It isnt easy mate, but you will get the hang of it. __________________ ~RALLI~

01-09-2005, 05:53 PM	#6 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	Welllll, I'm not a complete home dad - I still earn significantly more, I just do it from home. But Mondays and Tuesdays it's just him and me - today I'm posting while he is sleeping, then we'll be kicking back and getting ready to watch the cricket __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

01-31-2005, 02:57 PM	#7 (permalink)
coldhands Addict Location: The next town over	I am a "complete" at home Dad. Our son is 14 weeks old. I freelance and work almost exclusively from home. My wife works at an office nearby so it just made sense for me to stay home with the little guy. It was great while she was home on family leave. We all got to be together for 8 weeks and then almost all the time for the few more weeks over the holidays as my wife worked a limited schedule. I find that being home with our son levels things out a bit. He gets to be with me all day, and then my wife is recharged and really eager to be with him at night. He gets to experience both of us as the primary caregiver so I think he benefits from it. Believe it or not, we are also nursing the baby. Thanks to the fact that we live close to her work (a block) it is really easy for her to pop home over lunch and/or for the occasional feeding. Otherwise she pumps and I bottle feed during the day. It seems to work well for all of us. As far as getting work done, it is hit or miss. Some days I can manage to get a lot done, while other days he is a bit fussy and it is a challenge to accomplish any work tasks. I also do a bit of apologizing for the crying in the background when my clients call, but for the most part they understand and are supportive. All things considered, I love being at stay at home dad (or Mr. Mom as we are sometimes called). PM me if you want to swap more stories and good luck with your little one. __________________ "All it takes to make a difference is the courage to stop proving 'I was right' in being unable to make a difference, to stop assigning cause for my inability to the circumstances outside myself, to be willing to have been that way, and to see that the fear of being a failure is a lot less important that the unique opportunity I have to make a difference." -Werner Erhard

01-31-2005, 06:21 PM	#8 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	I admire you for attempting this. On the days where my wife is working I get very little done during the day. I am lucky in that I consult to a company that is in a different time zone to me, so working during the day is not a necessity. I find, apart from his sleep times, he needs almost constant attention, especially when he starts crawling (which is any day now). The only spare time I have is when he is sleeping and by and large I try to do some housework during that time. There are days like today where I had a significant amount I needed to get done, and I made a good go of that during his first sleep and am going to make progress now he is back in bed. Up to about 4 or 5 months you can just put them down somewhere and do other things, but it does not continue ad infinitum (perhaps unfortunately ). It is good that your clients are supportive, as is my employer. Good luck to you as well. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

01-31-2005, 06:36 PM	#9 (permalink)
KMA-628 ....is off his meds...you were warned. Location: The Wild Wild West	Another stay-at-home dad here. I peaked professionally so I quit work and went back to school. I am also partnering with another person on a start-up; I am the "behind-the-scenes" guy. Fortunately, most of my work can be done virtual; unfortunately we aren't as busy as I would like to be. So...school/work/dad.....keeps me pretty busy. I have three kids. One's in first grade, the other will start preschool in Aug. and the other just graduated terrorist training camp (she's almost 2). I can't wait until all three are in school full-time, but I'll probably be back to work by then. Edit: anyone know of good places to find freelance work. I would like to make even more money, but not finding a lot of options. I have used Guru.com for about 8 months with no luck, mainly because I am not interested in making $6/hr.

02-02-2005, 10:02 AM	#10 (permalink)
edmos1 Daddy Location: Right next door to Hell	Wife is due in July, I WFH 4 days a week, so we will probably try me a couple of half days a week, to keep child care costs reasonable. that way I can have the dedicated time at work, and some more free time later. Wife will probably change her schedule a bit so she works one day on the weekend, and is off during the week, so I can go into the office. Hope it works out, infant day care is expensive.

02-02-2005, 10:45 AM	#11 (permalink)
raveneye Born Against	My wife is leaning toward having another one, but only if I stay at home. She says the stress and boredom with the first one was enough for her for a lifetime, but would have another if I did all the duties the next time around. I'm seriously considering it. We could probably manage financially, but my life would not be what it is now . . . .

02-02-2005, 01:54 PM	#12 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	I understand the stress and boredom thing - even two days a week seems like the day goes by so slowly - he takes a lot of attnetion, but doesn't do much The first day I had him, my wife came home just in time - I handed him over and escaped but I'm getting better at it - I tend to be quite productive work wise after y wife gets home. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

02-03-2005, 07:53 PM	#13 (permalink)
sexymama My own person -- his by choice Location: Lebell's arms	I admire any parent that stays home with their child(ren) and do a good job. I love my kids and am a great parent -- but I have to work! Congrats to all you wonderful dads! __________________ If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.