exobot

Blah blah blah blah!

Hayduke

Firstly let me say I've come here from another forum.


Secondly......this is harder to say but how do your parents deal with your brother? You only have to face this problem when you go to your folk's house. He's there all the time right? So your parents have to deal with his pedantic behaviour for breakfast, lunch and dinner.......I think, (talk to your parents first) you'll have to swallow your anger. Otherwise I don't know what to say. Hopefully with time he will understand the sensibilities a normal person feels. All I can say is try to be happy for his company (however hard it might be) as it could have quite easily been very different. Maybe time will make him less abrasive.......


Question:....has he gained intelligence since the accident? (my sincere apologies if that sounds heartless).

exobot

HaydukeHaydukeHaydukeHayduke

agball

Situations like these are very trying on the family. It has only been a few months since the accident. I would venture to guess that your brother wants to feel important and intelligent (not that he isn't) It could be his way of dealing with the issues. Additionally, athough you may not realize it, mabye there is some pent up anger on your end too, due to the fact he is not the same person anymore. Maybe you miss his old self and part of the frustration is that he is now a different person.

Give it time, things will improve, this is tramatic for the whole family.

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bonehed1

I totally agree with agball on this issue.....patients is always the key to healing in a time like this...my aunt is "special" but she isnt annoying so I can't relate but I do feel angry at times about it because I don't get to talk to her like I can with the rest of my family....why not take your anger or frustration out on something like a punching bag or find something that calms you down and talk to him and when you get to a point where you feel like your gonna lose it then leave and calm down....patients and understanding have worked for me and maybe it will work for you.

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Cadwiz

I just watched a show about brain damage last night. It seems that frontal lobe injuries can cause permanent personality changes. Your brother probably doesn't realize he is coming off as a prick. Don't have much else to say, other than he might always be like he is now. And, I would try to help my brother as much as I would like him to help me, if it were reversed. Sorry to hear it.

exobot

HaydukeHaydukeHayduke

Suave

Talk to him about it. Obviously, be nice, and pussy-foot around the hard issues if you have to. Eventually, whether it takes multiple conversations over a period of months, or a couple of converstations within a week, he will hopefully alter his behaviour. He may not, but talking things out normally works for me, at least with people I know well or am close to.

Method number two is harsher, but still can work (can also backfire something nasty). You can just tell him he's being a dumbass or that he's pissing you off or whatever when the issue arises. I don't know that it's a good idea in this case, since he has suffered brain damage, but I've experienced it, and it can work as well. It ends up with a lot of conflict though, and is volatile in nature.

One final way of dealing with it, is to do just that: deal with it. Sometimes I feel a bit cliche bringing it into every facet of conversation I seem to have, but becoming a pseudo-Buddhist (I drink, watch TV, and a few other things that preclude me from being a "true" Buddhist in most schools) really helped me. Just meditating, finding a way to be emotionally, if not spiritually at peace (even deep breathing techniques can help immensly) could better equip you to deal with him. If not that, cathartic activity later, like boxing (doesn't have to be on a person ), exercising, sports, making voodoo dolls, whatever, could help you release some of this tension. Tension... oh yeah, you could beat off a lot too.