ARRRGGG- My kids are so........lazy - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

snowy · 07-23-2008, 09:45 AM

Are you modeling the behavior you wish to see? Are you exercising with your child and eating healthily in front of them? Are you being consistent in this behavior? How about taking a walk with the entire family every night after dinner? And I mean EVERY NIGHT--consistency is key to changing behavior.

You cannot require a child to do anything you would not do yourself. You cannot expect your child to desire to go outside and play if you do not do so too--every time, not just sometimes. Furthermore, even in free play children desire structure. If a child has little to no experience with imaginative free play you cannot expect them to know how to spontaneously do it overnight. You might want to choose more constructive outdoor activities for your child to engage in. Does your yard need work? How about planting a garden?

How about organized sports? Parks and Rec programs? Fishing? Choose activities where you can model correct behavior for your child.

Every night you should sit down with yourself and review how you interacted with your child that day. What about his behavior did you like that day? What did he do well? How did he improve over previous days? What went wrong? What can you do better? This is the hardest part but the most necessary--parents lose perspective when it comes to their children because they're so busy parenting, they never get a moment to step back and really look at the situation. Praise him when he does well and behaves the way you want him to, and give him consequences when he behaves in a way you do not like, by either taking away privileges or assigning more work. I would recommend the latter as it requires him to be active. But above all, BE CONSISTENT. Stick to your guns. Be the bad guy. And your daily time-out to think over the day and his behavior will help you be consistent.

bsbllplyr1234 · 08-16-2008, 06:39 PM

Its hard to tell a child nowadays to "go outside and play" (its just a different culture- a characteristic of an ecoboomer even though your kids are a bit younger than that generation). You have to be involved with them in everything that you can because its boring to play by yourself and have no guidance.

I got bored of being indoors, had trouble sleeping, and felt bad whenever I didn't get enough excercise (that is why I bought a gym membership and go about 8 hours a week now).

I would always go outside and do stuff because my parents would ask me to do chores if I was in the house too much.

You cant force anybody to do anything that they dont want to do but guide them into doing it without them knowing. Let your kids play different sports, let them find their passion, and push them towards that passion. If you give them a positive experience in whatever they are doing, they are more likely to repeat it.

I didn't really have anybody my age in my neighborhood so everything was team oriented such as basketball/baseball/football- if they dont have any friends in the area it is not as fun to go outside.

Give them self-confidence in everything they are doing outside, this will make it easier to get them outside comfortably. I think this is a confidence problem.

My cousin is extremely overweight (150-170% the weight of what he should be), and he came over to my house for a family get together. He is not confident physically whatsoever because he has never ridden a bike, never played an organized sport and doesnt leave his house other than to go to school. He makes excuses of why he can't do something because he is afraid that he will fail. In about 15 minutes, I got him to play soccer with me as I complimented how good he was, we kicked the ball to each other for about an hour (which is a good start). Then, I took out one of my old bikes and we walked up a slanted parking lot. I got him on that bike, balanced him and slowly let him glide down the hill (the whole time I was telling him how easy it was to do and how he was natural at it.) I went back inside, and my entire family was so proud of what I got him to do. He held his head up high and has no problems going outside with me.

Your kids are not lazy, they just don't enjoy going outside (yet!).

07-23-2008, 09:45 AM	#41 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	Are you modeling the behavior you wish to see? Are you exercising with your child and eating healthily in front of them? Are you being consistent in this behavior? How about taking a walk with the entire family every night after dinner? And I mean EVERY NIGHT--consistency is key to changing behavior. You cannot require a child to do anything you would not do yourself. You cannot expect your child to desire to go outside and play if you do not do so too--every time, not just sometimes. Furthermore, even in free play children desire structure. If a child has little to no experience with imaginative free play you cannot expect them to know how to spontaneously do it overnight. You might want to choose more constructive outdoor activities for your child to engage in. Does your yard need work? How about planting a garden? How about organized sports? Parks and Rec programs? Fishing? Choose activities where you can model correct behavior for your child. Every night you should sit down with yourself and review how you interacted with your child that day. What about his behavior did you like that day? What did he do well? How did he improve over previous days? What went wrong? What can you do better? This is the hardest part but the most necessary--parents lose perspective when it comes to their children because they're so busy parenting, they never get a moment to step back and really look at the situation. Praise him when he does well and behaves the way you want him to, and give him consequences when he behaves in a way you do not like, by either taking away privileges or assigning more work. I would recommend the latter as it requires him to be active. But above all, BE CONSISTENT. Stick to your guns. Be the bad guy. And your daily time-out to think over the day and his behavior will help you be consistent. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

08-16-2008, 06:39 PM	#42 (permalink)
bsbllplyr1234 Upright	Its hard to tell a child nowadays to "go outside and play" (its just a different culture- a characteristic of an ecoboomer even though your kids are a bit younger than that generation). You have to be involved with them in everything that you can because its boring to play by yourself and have no guidance. I got bored of being indoors, had trouble sleeping, and felt bad whenever I didn't get enough excercise (that is why I bought a gym membership and go about 8 hours a week now). I would always go outside and do stuff because my parents would ask me to do chores if I was in the house too much. You cant force anybody to do anything that they dont want to do but guide them into doing it without them knowing. Let your kids play different sports, let them find their passion, and push them towards that passion. If you give them a positive experience in whatever they are doing, they are more likely to repeat it. I didn't really have anybody my age in my neighborhood so everything was team oriented such as basketball/baseball/football- if they dont have any friends in the area it is not as fun to go outside. Give them self-confidence in everything they are doing outside, this will make it easier to get them outside comfortably. I think this is a confidence problem. My cousin is extremely overweight (150-170% the weight of what he should be), and he came over to my house for a family get together. He is not confident physically whatsoever because he has never ridden a bike, never played an organized sport and doesnt leave his house other than to go to school. He makes excuses of why he can't do something because he is afraid that he will fail. In about 15 minutes, I got him to play soccer with me as I complimented how good he was, we kicked the ball to each other for about an hour (which is a good start). Then, I took out one of my old bikes and we walked up a slanted parking lot. I got him on that bike, balanced him and slowly let him glide down the hill (the whole time I was telling him how easy it was to do and how he was natural at it.) I went back inside, and my entire family was so proud of what I got him to do. He held his head up high and has no problems going outside with me. Your kids are not lazy, they just don't enjoy going outside (yet!).