Flyguy

Well, my wife and I just started trying for our first. I'm pretty much established in my career and she wants to stay at home with the little one when they're born. I've found myself surfing the web for all sorts of pregnancy info, like healthy eating to help in conception for both mom and dad and trying to foresee any complications that might crop up along the way. I know it's impossible to try and prepare for everything but I can't help but try anyway. Anybody have any advice for a guy just starting to go through this for the first time?

KMA-628

My in-laws told me this one. It made sense but I didn't truly understand it until the 2nd kid:

Kids are not as breakable as you think.

Anyway, don't put too much effort into it. You should enjoy the experience and not sweat the details. Plus, everything they told you not to eat/drink five years ago is o.k. now. Everything they tell you not to eat/drink will be o.k. again in five years. For our first, we tried to do all of the "right things', it just became tedious and a chore. When my wife got pregnant a second time (we planned for this one), we just let nature take its course.

That being said, the doctor's appt.'s are the most important. That is really how you get to track how things are going.

We were never asked about eating habits, drinking habits, etc. Our dr. was great, she was a realist.

And I congratulate you one your choice. My wife is a stay-at-home mom as well and wouldn't go back to work for anything.

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tecoyah

My wife and I have had to research an enormous amount of information concerning pregnancy and birth (we chose unassisted homebirth). Should you have any specific questions, I will be glad to share the data we accumulated thru the years.

At this stage, I would highly recommend she begin to take a quality Pre-Natal vitamin every day, this has been proven to prevent many of the discomforts of pregnancy. I would also recommend you start looking at the benefits of breastfeeding early, as this is one of the most important longterm descisions the two of you will make at this stage.

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Peetster

Remind her how beautiful she is and how much you love her. Do it every day, starting now.

It's the first thing you'll want to say when she's in the recovery room as well.

highthief

All I can offer is that when any of our friends have "tried" to get pregnant, it took a long time. When any of us just did the nasty with our significant others, it was baby central.

Don't try to hard, it'll happen naturally.

And yeah, she should take pre-natal vitamins, especially those with folic acid.

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Derwood

My wife signed up for this weekly email from BabyCenter (I think? I'll find out). Every week it sent her updates as to what her baby was doing in utero, what was growing, etc. Now our daughter is 16 months old and she still gets the emails, which always have helpful hints about growth, development, diet, etc.

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Flyguy

Thanks for the replies. She definitely plans on breastfeeding. She's from one of the Alaskan native villages where it's a big tradition (it'll save on formula at least!) She also has some vitamins she's been taking for the last few weeks. I also got some daily vitamin supplements for myself as well. Supposed to help with sperm production? I've actually logged onto babycenter and it has a good amount of info as well.

Again, thanks for the replies.

snoop

I recommend lots of practice, and not getting too bogged down in the cycles and temperatures etc . . . enjoy, and relax it happens quicker that way.

Had a mate whose partner turned getting pregnant into science reading every book/journal/article etc . . . didn't get pregnant for 3 yrs, 4 months after "stopping" trying . . BOOM . . pregnant!

Stress is a reason many people have problems

S

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Polyphobic

Like Snoop said, relax. Relax for conception to occur and relax afterwards. That and sleep. God knows you will need it.
Being supportive is also a good thing. As my wife's pregnancy progresses I was doing more and more to help. Towards the end I was cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.

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Mortified

Probably the most bought book is "What to expect when you're expecting" or something like that. I seem to remember it was ok in going over what will happen week-by-week during the pregnancy. As there are a zillion of these out there and its not something you really need after the first pregnancy, you can probably find it at a used book store pretty easily.

absorbentishe

Get as much sleep now as you can. You'll never sleep like that untill, well, until they move out.

It's not as hard as everyone makes it out to be. When your child is older, make sure you and your wife are on the same page. As in, if you say no, and he/she goes and asks mom, and she gives in or vice versa. That's probably the most important one.

silmaril8n

I'm 22 and I my wife and I just had our first child June 8th. I have much the same situation, I'm stable in my career (working at home though) and she is then able to stay at home. The emotional stress that's involved with many women is, to say the least, difficult. I hope that you're a patient person because you will most certainly need a lot!

Start thinking about breastfeeding and circumsicion (if applicable). The entire series of "What to expect when you're expecting" is just awesome too!

sexymama

Relax, ask questions, then listen to your gut and follow it! You know yourself, your wife, and your child (when s/he arrives) best! Have fun and LAUGH a lot! (Lebell says he thinks one of the main reasons to have children is to laugh at them.)

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It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

Polyphobic

Damn right! Mine just started pulling himself up and moving around like crazy. Plenty of opportunities to laugh at the little guy. He gets confused and then starts laughing. I expect nothing less than him to return the favor to me when he gets older.

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