12 year olds and thongs - Page 4 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

DJ Happy · 09-30-2004, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nwlinkvxd

FYI, I'm a 19 year old guy.

Firstly, I'm amazed at how incapable most of you parents seem to be at parenting. It's a simple fact that if you don't want your kid to have a thong, don't give her money, and she won't be able to buy one...right?

Unless of course, she actually wants one. Do you have any IDEA how easy it is to steal clothing? You might say, "Oh, my little Johnny wouldn't steal." However, if you deny your kid something they want, they will ALWAYS remember it. I did it to my mom over this stupid $40 plushie frog, and I never forgave her.

At 12 years of age I was fully sexual. I probably masturbated 3-4 times a day, I thought girls were hot. I wanted a committed relationship. And I grew up in a sheltered "Christian home." Regardless of what you know or think you know about your kids, they are a different person, because you are completely blinded, by your purely parental view of them as a person.

I guess this little rant boils down to one thing: I think your entire generation is failing as parents, because I'm one of the results.

Personally, I'm amazed that a 19 year old kid is lecturing us all on how bad we are at being parents. How many children do you have? What's that, none? So you speak from what, personal experience or from absolutely no kind of perspective whatsoever?

So after reading your little diatribe, what advice do you have for parents? It seems to me that your suggestion is to just give kids whatever they want because if you don't they'll just steal it anyway which will make them even worse people than they already are. Please tell me I'm wrong.

You might be a waste of space and if you want to blame your own parents for that, go right ahead. How you can blame others for your failings though is beyond me.

la petite moi · 09-30-2004, 07:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJ Happy

Personally, I'm amazed that a 19 year old kid is lecturing us all on how bad we are at being parents. How many children do you have? What's that, none? So you speak from what, personal experience or from absolutely no kind of perspective whatsoever?

So after reading your little diatribe, what advice do you have for parents? It seems to me that your suggestion is to just give kids whatever they want because if you don't they'll just steal it anyway which will make them even worse people than they already are. Please tell me I'm wrong.

You might be a waste of space and if you want to blame your own parents for that, go right ahead. How you can blame others for your failings though is beyond me.

Even though he is my boyfriend, and I did go along with his rant with a 'yeah okay'...

You're right. You can't assume you know how parents are until you are a parent. And until you become the perfect parents, you can't tell others they suck.

Having said that, Kevin, my dear, let us make wild love and have several babies. (Oh wait, that's right, we can't, according to you. Hahaha.)

blinkandmissit · 10-02-2004, 01:11 AM

A point that I haven't seen mentioned here is that as time goes on, some things become desexualized. For example, showing off belly buttons. At one point, it was such a huge thing that it caused an uproar when I Dream Of Genie had the main character showing her belly button on prime time TV.

Now? Sure women look more attractive as a general thing when they show off their belly button, but it's hardly immediate and blatant jerkoff material. It's just a general fashion trend.

Seems to me that thongs are approaching that point fairly quickly, especially with the over-the-pants thing. A girl doesn't have to show her ass to show off her thong anymore, and the 'whale tail' is becoming a part of outerwear fashion. So while it's true that a girl who wants to wear a thong almost certainly wants boys (and other girls) to see it, that doesn't mean she wants them to see it with her pants off.

Herk · 10-06-2004, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blinkandmissit

So while it's true that a girl who wants to wear a thong almost certainly wants boys (and other girls) to see it, that doesn't mean she wants them to see it with her pants off.

I'm not totally certain how I feel overall about this, but you've raise an excellent point. Well put.

Herk

gcrgcr · 10-06-2004, 10:17 PM

I say, thong okay, so long as no one can see it...

Neptune · 10-07-2004, 03:31 AM

My daughter is about to turn 2. I am scared of what is in store down the track

Personally, once she leaves home is the right time for her to begin making choices like that.

RubenCube · 10-22-2004, 04:01 AM

My 2 cents worth is that it's okay. After all, it's private and if it makes her feel good then why not. It's easy for us to forget how different kids are dressing today and what they feel about wearing a thong might be different than what we think about it. It probably does not have the same sexual meaning to her anyway it is probably a style thing. I have 2 daughters and although I was a little uncomfortable with how they were dressing once they were in that preteen age I realized that I was also a little out of touch with the times. To them a thong was simply something that they wore for comfort and style, not anything to do with sexual behaviour. So, I would encourage parents not to make such a big deal of it.

ShaniFaye · 10-22-2004, 04:17 AM

why does a 12 year old need to worry about her UNDERWEAR style? Its something thats NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEEN.

Im sorry....I cant help but just shake my head at those of you that think its ok for a CHILD to be wearing stuff like this....

RubenCube · 10-24-2004, 05:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ShaniFaye

why does a 12 year old need to worry about her UNDERWEAR style?

I don't know why she does, but if she does, we should be sensitive to her concerns and not overanalyze it. That's all I'm saying. Don't read so much into it at that age.

nohandles · 10-25-2004, 02:35 PM

Oh my god. Its posts like this one that makes me so glad I only have boys. My heart goes out to you.

I was in Target the other day and was floored that they are actually marketing thongs to young pre-teen girls. It's just wrong.

rfra3645 · 10-26-2004, 05:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohandles

Oh my god. Its posts like this one that makes me so glad I only have boys. My heart goes out to you.

.

amazing it is.... i have 2 boys 4 and 1 and wow yeah im glad i wont have to decide on that.....

on another note.. my dad wa married to his like 3rd 4th wife who has 2 teenage daughters one of who went thry this same issue..

my dad flipped went like way off the handle NO NO NO but the girsl mom was lile ok i suppose its ok dont worry.. it was i dunna know sevral weeks later and she started coming hom ewith boys after school ( no else was home @ that time of the day) the girls mother found out by coming home early one day.. well she nixxed the thong deal ...

my opinon is girls want to be like other girls.. friends idols whatever...

i agree with some of the other posters its the parrents responsibilty to say hell no when they say no.. wishy washy dosnt get it... if you have even an incling of is this right or wrong why would you let your kids try to "show " you the right way.. you are still the boss.....

Grace, Too · 10-26-2004, 06:17 AM

Wow, is this thread ever an eye opener!
First off, any person or parent who allows their 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is both sick, and a bad parent.
Second, any parent or person who says a 12 year old girl is old enough to decide what she wants and it's not a parents place to get involved is sick, wrong, and a bad parent or person.
Third, anyone who is not a parent of a daughter should not have a say in this because your opinion is essentially worthless. ( I am, obviously!)
Fourth, I believe that any parent who lets their 12 year old girls wear thongs is both an advocate and protector of child pornography and child prostitution. (opinion, purely)
Fifth, I am a teacher. I see the girls come each day to school dressed like sluts. They become associated as sluts because that's what they dress like. SHAME on the parents who let their kids (up to age 16) dress the way some of them do. You are a big part of what is wrong with society. SHAME on the parents who don't have the balls to be a parent and tell them what is and what is not appropriate. SHAME on the writer who said that it's a parents job to just be their kids friend. I hope you're not a parent. I fear for your children.

What is wrong with us? How has it gotten to this point where we justify dressing our children up as bait for molesters and sex addicts? How have we become so tossed and turned by public opinion? How have we strayed so far from having the balls to use the words "right" and "wrong".

Sean O'Casey said it best: "The world in a terrible state o' chassis"

solo2020 · 10-26-2004, 08:49 AM

Not being a parent myself (I'm 20 years old) here is my worthless .02 cents.

Allowing a 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is a no-no is most peoples book. However, once I entered college, I found out that the quiet ones in high school were the drunken sex-crazed girls in college. Allowing your daughter to become exposed to such things at an early age can have either effect.

It's like a father offering a son a cigarette or a beer at a young age. Not because the father is a horrible parent, but because he wants his son to know what it feels like to smoke a cigarette or become tipsy off a beer.

My conservative Korean parents were fairly lax on my upbringing here in the States. I was allowed to do pretty much anything (within the law). I had my share of drugs, trouble making, and general nuisance to other people. But I am planning on becoming a productive member of this society ( a la college ).

ShaniFaye · 10-26-2004, 09:01 AM

Amen Grace....my parents were not my friends and I respect them much more than most any parent I know with children today...I have no desire to be my childs FRIEND I am a parent and its my job to guide them....NOT to let them do things that will attract the undesirables of life.

Suave · 10-26-2004, 09:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grace, Too

Wow, is this thread ever an eye opener!
First off, any person or parent who allows their 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is both sick, and a bad parent.
Second, any parent or person who says a 12 year old girl is old enough to decide what she wants and it's not a parents place to get involved is sick, wrong, and a bad parent or person.
Third, anyone who is not a parent of a daughter should not have a say in this because your opinion is essentially worthless. ( I am, obviously!)
Fourth, I believe that any parent who lets their 12 year old girls wear thongs is both an advocate and protector of child pornography and child prostitution. (opinion, purely)
Fifth, I am a teacher. I see the girls come each day to school dressed like sluts. They become associated as sluts because that's what they dress like. SHAME on the parents who let their kids (up to age 16) dress the way some of them do. You are a big part of what is wrong with society. SHAME on the parents who don't have the balls to be a parent and tell them what is and what is not appropriate. SHAME on the writer who said that it's a parents job to just be their kids friend. I hope you're not a parent. I fear for your children.

What is wrong with us? How has it gotten to this point where we justify dressing our children up as bait for molesters and sex addicts? How have we become so tossed and turned by public opinion? How have we strayed so far from having the balls to use the words "right" and "wrong".

Sean O'Casey said it best: "The world in a terrible state o' chassis"

Go back to bible camp, Ned. Maybe you can get some water to wash your Wonderbread down with while you're there. If you're going to point out that part of your post was opinion, you should have done so for the rest of it; there's about as much factual information in that thing as a CIA report on Iraq.

The issue that I take with your argument is that you're arguing purely out of irrational fear. If you based even PART of your argument on logic, I might give you some credit; it's a shame when people blindly follow their emotions. As a counter-argument to what you said, YOU are a big part of what's wrong with society. Your extremist socially conservative views have no basis in reality, and I'm willing to bet you fit in with those people who lobby for more censorship in the media. SHAME ON YOU.

Grace, Too · 10-26-2004, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suave

Go back to bible camp, Ned. Maybe you can get some water to wash your Wonderbread down with while you're there. If you're going to point out that part of your post was opinion, you should have done so for the rest of it; there's about as much factual information in that thing as a CIA report on Iraq.

The issue that I take with your argument is that you're arguing purely out of irrational fear. If you based even PART of your argument on logic, I might give you some credit; it's a shame when people blindly follow their emotions. As a counter-argument to what you said, YOU are a big part of what's wrong with society. Your extremist socially conservative views have no basis in reality, and I'm willing to bet you fit in with those people who lobby for more censorship in the media. SHAME ON YOU.

You've pegged me well. I am that social conservative that you labelled me. I don't think I was hiding that.
However, Suave, let's argue like big kids. Pick something specific I wrote and argue why you disagree with it and what you believe.
Now you go...

EDIT - If my fear is irrational, state why that is so...

ShaniFaye · 10-26-2004, 10:30 AM

I guess that camp is gonna be kinda full....hope they have enuff wonderbread for all of us because if my numbers are right

84 people responded to this thread (1st post by a poster was the one counted)
66 said NO NO NO
12 said it was ok
6 never gave a yes or no answer....they talked about other things

solo2020 · 10-26-2004, 11:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grace, Too

You've pegged me well. I am that social conservative that you labelled me. I don't think I was hiding that.
However, Suave, let's argue like big kids. Pick something specific I wrote and argue why you disagree with it and what you believe.
Now you go...

EDIT - If my fear is irrational, state why that is so...

Although your intentions are good, labeling everbody under a scope of things is pretty naive and ignorant. Not everybody was brought up in your manner. I know "sluts" (in your descriptions) that dressed the way you described it in middle school. They have grown up to become very productive members of society ie; lawyers, bankers, and doctors.

I don't know what good you have done for society, but religious people like you (it is fairly obvious that your a right wing conservative) make me sick.

Changing times and ideas call for changes in parenting. Shielding your kid from the outside world is impossible. Educated them, parent them, and let them choose what is right or wrong. If they're smart they'll learn from their mistakes.

Suave · 10-26-2004, 11:35 AM

There is no research that anyone has cited that shows that wearing a thong will cause a younger girl to be more likely to be sexually preyed upon, nor that it will make them act any more sexually aggressive/submissive than non-thong wearing girls. Therefore, for our purposes, any advice or opinions written on this topic are pure opinion.

You speculate that young girls wearing thongs somehow condones "negative" sexual practice. I believe the wearing of a thong has little, if anything, to do with that. You also stated that parents who allowed their girls to wear thongs are "sick" and "bad parents". There's not much of an argument that can be made against that, as you give no reasons for your opinions; suffice to say that I disagree with you on that point.

And yes, I did come off rather strongly, because it irks me when people throw out personal attacks in discussions that are primarily based on someone seeking advice.

aerozeppelin · 10-26-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suave

There is no research that anyone has cited that shows that wearing a thong will cause a younger girl to be more likely to be sexually preyed upon, nor that it will make them act any more sexually aggressive/submissive than non-thong wearing girls. Therefore, for our purposes, any advice or opinions written on this topic are pure opinion.

You speculate that young girls wearing thongs somehow condones "negative" sexual practice. I believe the wearing of a thong has little, if anything, to do with that. You also stated that parents who allowed their girls to wear thongs are "sick" and "bad parents". There's not much of an argument that can be made against that, as you give no reasons for your opinions; suffice to say that I disagree with you on that point.

And yes, I did come off rather strongly, because it irks me when people throw out personal attacks in discussions that are primarily based on someone seeking advice.

In addition to these points, parents had best be careful about how much they protect their kids. Speaking as a high schooler, I can very safely say that the kids who are totally sheltered and protected are the ones who fall hardest when they go out and party. A good many "good kids" whose seem to be model citizens with active parents are the kids who go out and get absolutely hammered, do all varieties of drugs, and generally run wild. Harmless stuff like underwear like this is not a battle thatshould be fought.

Not to mention that in all honesty, I can't imagine a girl wanting a thong to go out and party or do other bad things at 12. If she wants to do bad things, she'll do them with our without the underwear and probably wouldn't even bother asking for it. I'd tend to say she wants it to be "cool" and because of peer pressure. It really isn't a big deal.

rfra3645 · 10-26-2004, 01:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Suave

Go back to bible camp, Ned. Maybe you can get some water to wash your Wonderbread down with while you're there. If you're going to point out that part of your post was opinion, you should have done so for the rest of it; there's about as much factual information in that thing as a CIA report on Iraq.

The issue that I take with your argument is that you're arguing purely out of irrational fear. If you based even PART of your argument on logic, I might give you some credit; it's a shame when people blindly follow their emotions. As a counter-argument to what you said, YOU are a big part of what's wrong with society. Your extremist socially conservative views have no basis in reality, and I'm willing to bet you fit in with those people who lobby for more censorship in the media. SHAME ON YOU.

unbelivable.......

Quote:

your extremist scocially conservaive views have no basis in reality

hmm now i wonder how this can even be said.. w/o an opinion sign next to it.... the way i see it the " socialy conservative view" has been round for a hell of a lot longer than any liberal view and this world has seemed to function just fine i mean i kept spining and evrything... this teacher is absolulty correct... if the parents let there kids dress like sluts they will be labeld as such and corectly.. i sppose suave pikced up his view from his liberal parents and thinks his view is reality.. and should therefore be forced down concervatives throats..

opinion^^^^^^^^

Suave · 10-26-2004, 02:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rfra3645

unbelivable....... hmm now i wonder how this can even be said.. w/o an opinion sign next to it.... the way i see it the " socialy conservative view" has been round for a hell of a lot longer than any liberal view and this world has seemed to function just fine i mean i kept spining and evrything... this teacher is absolulty correct... if the parents let there kids dress like sluts they will be labeld as such and corectly.. i sppose suave pikced up his view from his liberal parents and thinks his view is reality.. and should therefore be forced down concervatives throats..

opinion^^^^^^^^

I said nothing of the sort. I attacked Grace because he/she was assaulting parents who chose to do differently from what he/she believes. I don't have a very high tolerance level for people going around saying others are "sick" just because they believe differently. You might say, "but Suave, you did the same thing to Grace". Yes, I did. I did it, not because of my conflicting beliefs, but as a tactic I frequently use against people who make comments like that, which could be described as "giving them a taste of their own medicine." It's not the most mature tactic, but it does help people see the effects of what they're saying.

And yes, it is my INFORMED opinion that Grace's statements have no basis in reality. I have yet to see any evidence put forth to support them in any form. I believe that if one is going to make a statement that is put in a factual manner, that it should be of factual consistency. Opinions have a proper grammatical syntax with which they should be used, and if someone decides to ignore that syntax, I WILL go after them for stating their opinions as fact.

timalkin · 10-26-2004, 02:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by solo2020

I don't know what good you have done for society, but religious people like you (it is fairly obvious that your a right wing conservative) make me sick.

What does being a right wing conservative have to do with religion?

A few people would rather not see their young children dressing like whores. That should be common sense. Religion has nothing to do with that. As a right wing conservative myself, I take offense to your religious label.

jillian · 10-26-2004, 06:10 PM

i started wearing thongs at the age of 14... my mother was wearing them for as long as i can remember.. as my older sister as well.. we didnt wear them to be desxy we were taught that "granny panties" created a noticible panty line... of course this was 6 almost 7 years ago but back then for me and my mother it was about comfort.. they dont ride up.. u are not contstantly picking at your wedgie..lol partly because thongs are already up there.. lol... now as far as my daughter goes... it will depend on her... if she is doing it to impress boys then no... if its because shes constantly picking her butt or hates the lines it creates in her pants then yes.....all that said i currently dont wear underwear... not to be sexy but for comfort.. if i wanna be sexy then i will put a thong on and give the guys a peek at what could be instore for them if they play thier cards right... lol

JaySpencer · 10-26-2004, 06:43 PM

I have to young girls that are 2yo and 6yo respectivly, so am not at the age to ask for that. I think that if they wanted to wear them, even at 12, that I would let them....however, in all fairness since I am not there yet, I find I can't judge it either way.

tspikes51 · 10-26-2004, 07:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mr sticky

I echo earlier sentiments, but the real question is why she wants to wear them. Since the purpose of thong underwear is to delete panty lines, or to accentuate one's ASSests...you need to clarify the intentions, not just the product.

I feel for you...lots.

Either way, she shouldn't be wearing clothes that reveal panty lines yet.

tspikes51 · 10-26-2004, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Washington

I hope I am not taking you out of context, but I heartily disagree. A parents job is to be a childs friend. Obviously its not a one dimensional problem, but parents should not be dictators.

A parents job is to be a guide to a child on this wonderful ride we call life. Perhaps not so much when the child is 3, but when they are 11...they are perfectly capable of understanding...what is that....the preoperational stage right?....they understand abstract ideas, they understand right and wrong (as much as anyone else does anyway)....at this point in their life a parent ought to be, as I said earlier, a guide....be there for questions and guidance....

Im only 20, perhaps I will feel differently when im older....

As an 18 year old non parent, I will say you could not be more wrong. This is the problem: if parents act as friends, the kids can't learn correctly what's right and what's wrong. Thinking of how I would have turned out if my parents didn't give me rules when I was 11, I would have dropped out of school without passing the 4th grade, been addicted to drugs, made multiple girls pregnant, been constantly drunk, and probably would be dead. Now, I could always come to my parents and talk to them, but if they would have caught me doing drugs, they would have punished me. Parents need to make rules to protect children and make them into productive, responsible members of society.

aerozeppelin · 10-26-2004, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tspikes51

As an 18 year old non parent, I will say you could not be more wrong. This is the problem: if parents act as friends, the kids can't learn correctly what's right and what's wrong. Thinking of how I would have turned out if my parents didn't give me rules when I was 11, I would have dropped out of school without passing the 4th grade, been addicted to drugs, made multiple girls pregnant, been constantly drunk, and probably would be dead. Now, I could always come to my parents and talk to them, but if they would have caught me doing drugs, they would have punished me. Parents need to make rules to protect children and make them into productive, responsible members of society.

That depends on the kid. My parents basically let me do what the hell ever I want, provided that I got results - ie: good grades, not doing anything stupid, not getting in trouble (with the school/law), etc.... I turned out OK so far - my ED app for Princeton went in on Monday. It really depends on the kid. Some kids need lots of discipline and structure, though as far as I've seen this usually masks and simultaneously exacerbates any problems that its intended to cure.

In any event, I'd worry more about the WHY of a 12 year olds desire to wear a thong than the what. If its just peer pressure from other girls or something insignificant like that, then go ahead and let them. I'd only worry if it was because of a desire to get with boys.

And just as a note to all the people in here damning girls who "dress like whores," I do think thats a generational/personal thing. A good many girls I know dress in "revealing" clothes yet don't whore themselves out - they just do it to be fashionable and/or because they personally like the clothes. Just a thought...

Suave · 10-26-2004, 09:59 PM

Middle way man here to save the day! Parents need to strike a balance between being their child's friend and their führer. If you act too much like a dictator, your children will not be comfortable with you, and they will lie to you and keep their problems to themselves. If you are too much their friend, they will not treat your rules and orders with due respect, and you will lose the ability to guide them with a firm hand. This dynamic obviously changes as the children grow older, and hopefully, mature.

SecretMethod70 · 10-27-2004, 03:03 AM

LAY OFF THE PERSONAL ATTACKS. And, for the record, I don't care if you're responding to a personal attack in kind, it is not acceptable.

dksuddeth · 10-27-2004, 05:59 AM

For all of the individuals labeling parents who allow 12 year olds (who actually cares what age it is anyway) to wear thongs as sick, bad, or uncaring parents....let me give you a small insight as to the parents dillema.

I'm a 38 year old stepfather to a 15 year old girl. Her mother came to me when the girl was 13.5 telling me that she was going to buy some thong underwear for her daughter and I, at first, said "the hell you will". This is what changed my mind about it. My stepdaughter, as sweet as she is, is on the overweight side and as such doesn't have alot of friends while most of the rest tease her about her weight. With an already serious inferiority complex about her, she was also getting mercilessly picked on because her 'white cotton panties' would constantly stick out abover her belt line and these cruel kids(mostly girls) would not let up.

I agreed to letting my stepdaughter have the thongs to A)keep her from being teased and B) Being on the heavy side she doesn't dress skimpy.

It has nothing to do with trying to be her 'friend' especially since I'm more of a father to her than her biological one and its not about wanting her to be 'popular' like the others. She's a better emotionally adjusted girl now instead of the depressed teen she was before.

Walk a mile in someone elses shoes before applying labels to people based on ignorance of the situation.

ShaniFaye · 10-27-2004, 06:16 AM

People who are that mean are going to find other reasons to tease even if the "underwear" issue is gone.....thats the way they work....I was one of the overweight picked on kids....first it was...(remember this was 1980-1982) I didnt own a pair of straight leg jeans....when my cousin finally handed me down some...it switched to I didnt wear nike or tiger tennis shoes...cousin handed down a pair of nikes...switched to the fact that I actually had boobs at 12 years old...cant do much about that can you?

Are you honestly saying that thong underwear made people completely STOP making fun of her? (not being snide or anything....Im genuinely curious

my only point is, like I stated before...people are going to be mean for any reason thats convenient for them....I still say 12 years old is TOO YOUNG...and your post was about someone almost 14 (which is still to young IMO) but she wasnt 12.

dksuddeth · 10-27-2004, 06:29 AM

I was picked on in the early 80's also for my height(or lack of it anyway) so I also remember what it was like.

Yes, I do know that the diehard bullies will ALWAYS find something to pick on other kids about. With regards to my stepdaughters predicament, once she stopped with the big white panties she was picked on far less than before. It MIGHT have something to do with the fact that she's 5' 6" and 170 lbs. She's quite capable of dealing with most of the teasing by standing up for herself. It was the underwear issue that was really tearing her up. Can't really figure out why but I'm just happy that her self image has improved somewhat.

I do agree that 12 is too young, maybe even 14 in my opinion.....it makes for a tough decision when it affects your childs emotional health. The proverbial rock and a hard place.

SecretMethod70 · 10-27-2004, 07:24 AM

I think we're starting to touch upon the real issue here. What needs to be addressed has little to do with the material solutions presented. Instead of addressing - from the beginning, not just when they first appear as problems - the underlying emotional issues, we are trying to remedy them through consumerism, materialism, and falsehood. Teenage cosmetic surgery is on the rise. Why? Because it's easier to address the THING that the child identifies as the source of her emotional problem than the emotional problem itself.

There are plenty of people considered ugly who feel it absolutely imperitive that they work to conform, through changes in fashion or even surgery, to society's standards. Only that's never enough because it doesn't address the real issue.

Likewise, there are plenty of people who would be considered ugly by most who have no significant problems with themselves. They accept themselves for who they are and do not feel the need to go to such extremes to conform to the expectations of others.

This is what must be addressed from the moment a child is born. The material and social constructs must be openly discussed and challenged. The child must understand - to the degree he is capable - the forces at work around him.

There will always be peer pressure of various kinds, and I think there is a severe defecit in the empowering of children to resist pressure and think for themselves. This defecit is only strengthened by the effects of Mass Media Mind Control directed towards the parents AND the children. When an executive of "forever21" freely talks about using parents longing for their youth to make them buy sexy clothes for their duaghters in the hope of recapturing it vicariously, it's clear that there is a serious reason to question who is in real control of the decisions and attitudes in our society. The peer pressures that children feel today are direct results of corporate influence and agendas.

Woodberg · 10-27-2004, 08:49 AM

I've got an 11 yo daughter and I'm interested in the same thing. I'm not thinking its a good idea but don't really have a good reason.

Suave · 10-27-2004, 10:26 AM

The only problem with trying to address the emotional issues that pubescent youngsters have (although it is still the best way, I agree), is that they're all crazy. I know at that age I cared more about what people at school that I barely even knew said than what my parents said, and from what I've read of psychology, that's actually a pretty normal thing. There are numerous emotional and psychological conditions attributed to puberty, and they are very widespread in our society.

I'd think the best way to help your children deal with the pressures of puberty would be to start emotionally "molding" them, if you will, to learn to resist those BS peer issues that always arise in Jr High and HS. Also, extensive socializing with many other children at young ages is probably a very good idea as well, so that they can better cope with those issues when presented in a social situation (not just psychologically after the fact).

And I apologize for my personal attack. It's not an excuse, but I happened to be reading this thread at a period of mental and emotional imbalance. I shouldn't have attacked you for your differing views, Grace, and I'm sorry.

NegativeNine · 10-27-2004, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nohandles

Oh my god. Its posts like this one that makes me so glad I only have boys. My heart goes out to you.

Well if your boys start asking you for thongs you're gonna have bigger problems!

I say no thongs, but I really don't have any reasons to support that. Just my gut feelings...

Sargeman · 10-29-2004, 08:04 AM

As a father of two daughters one of which is 11 I have to ask, What purpose would a 12 year have for wearing a thong?

To fit in? To fit in what? Society? With other girls? If no one is going to see their thongs then there is no need for them to have any.

If my daughter asked if she could have some and wear them I would ask her why. Because everyone else has them is not a good answer. So they can fit in is also not a good enought answer. If they can give me a good answer I will surely consider it. Otherwise the answer is NO.

It's like those shorts/sweatpants that have the words on the butt. What purpose do those things have other than to draw attention to a little girls butt?

rfra3645 · 10-29-2004, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sargeman

It's like those shorts/sweatpants that have the words on the butt. What purpose do those things have other than to draw attention to a little girls butt?

that is verrrry right...

Suave · 10-29-2004, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sargeman

It's like those shorts/sweatpants that have the words on the butt. What purpose do those things have other than to draw attention to a little girls butt?

Obviously, to draw attention to a not-so-little girl's butt.

They do really work too.

10-22-2004, 04:17 AM	#128 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	why does a 12 year old need to worry about her UNDERWEAR style? Its something thats NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SEEN. Im sorry....I cant help but just shake my head at those of you that think its ok for a CHILD to be wearing stuff like this.... __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

10-26-2004, 09:01 AM	#134 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	Amen Grace....my parents were not my friends and I respect them much more than most any parent I know with children today...I have no desire to be my childs FRIEND I am a parent and its my job to guide them....NOT to let them do things that will attract the undesirables of life. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

10-26-2004, 10:30 AM	#137 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I guess that camp is gonna be kinda full....hope they have enuff wonderbread for all of us because if my numbers are right 84 people responded to this thread (1st post by a poster was the one counted) 66 said NO NO NO 12 said it was ok 6 never gave a yes or no answer....they talked about other things __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

10-27-2004, 03:03 AM	#150 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	LAY OFF THE PERSONAL ATTACKS. And, for the record, I don't care if you're responding to a personal attack in kind, it is not acceptable. __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling

10-27-2004, 06:16 AM	#152 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	People who are that mean are going to find other reasons to tease even if the "underwear" issue is gone.....thats the way they work....I was one of the overweight picked on kids....first it was...(remember this was 1980-1982) I didnt own a pair of straight leg jeans....when my cousin finally handed me down some...it switched to I didnt wear nike or tiger tennis shoes...cousin handed down a pair of nikes...switched to the fact that I actually had boobs at 12 years old...cant do much about that can you? Are you honestly saying that thong underwear made people completely STOP making fun of her? (not being snide or anything....Im genuinely curious my only point is, like I stated before...people are going to be mean for any reason thats convenient for them....I still say 12 years old is TOO YOUNG...and your post was about someone almost 14 (which is still to young IMO) but she wasnt 12. __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

10-02-2004, 01:11 AM	#123 (permalink)
blinkandmissit Upright	A point that I haven't seen mentioned here is that as time goes on, some things become desexualized. For example, showing off belly buttons. At one point, it was such a huge thing that it caused an uproar when I Dream Of Genie had the main character showing her belly button on prime time TV. Now? Sure women look more attractive as a general thing when they show off their belly button, but it's hardly immediate and blatant jerkoff material. It's just a general fashion trend. Seems to me that thongs are approaching that point fairly quickly, especially with the over-the-pants thing. A girl doesn't have to show her ass to show off her thong anymore, and the 'whale tail' is becoming a part of outerwear fashion. So while it's true that a girl who wants to wear a thong almost certainly wants boys (and other girls) to see it, that doesn't mean she wants them to see it with her pants off.

10-06-2004, 10:17 PM	#125 (permalink)
gcrgcr Upright	I say, thong okay, so long as no one can see it...

10-07-2004, 03:31 AM	#126 (permalink)
Neptune Tilted Location: Sydney Australia	My daughter is about to turn 2. I am scared of what is in store down the track Personally, once she leaves home is the right time for her to begin making choices like that.

10-22-2004, 04:01 AM	#127 (permalink)
RubenCube Upright	My 2 cents worth is that it's okay. After all, it's private and if it makes her feel good then why not. It's easy for us to forget how different kids are dressing today and what they feel about wearing a thong might be different than what we think about it. It probably does not have the same sexual meaning to her anyway it is probably a style thing. I have 2 daughters and although I was a little uncomfortable with how they were dressing once they were in that preteen age I realized that I was also a little out of touch with the times. To them a thong was simply something that they wore for comfort and style, not anything to do with sexual behaviour. So, I would encourage parents not to make such a big deal of it.

10-25-2004, 02:35 PM	#130 (permalink)
nohandles Upright	Oh my god. Its posts like this one that makes me so glad I only have boys. My heart goes out to you. I was in Target the other day and was floored that they are actually marketing thongs to young pre-teen girls. It's just wrong.

10-26-2004, 06:17 AM	#132 (permalink)
Grace, Too Loser	Wow, is this thread ever an eye opener! First off, any person or parent who allows their 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is both sick, and a bad parent. Second, any parent or person who says a 12 year old girl is old enough to decide what she wants and it's not a parents place to get involved is sick, wrong, and a bad parent or person. Third, anyone who is not a parent of a daughter should not have a say in this because your opinion is essentially worthless. ( I am, obviously!) Fourth, I believe that any parent who lets their 12 year old girls wear thongs is both an advocate and protector of child pornography and child prostitution. (opinion, purely) Fifth, I am a teacher. I see the girls come each day to school dressed like sluts. They become associated as sluts because that's what they dress like. SHAME on the parents who let their kids (up to age 16) dress the way some of them do. You are a big part of what is wrong with society. SHAME on the parents who don't have the balls to be a parent and tell them what is and what is not appropriate. SHAME on the writer who said that it's a parents job to just be their kids friend. I hope you're not a parent. I fear for your children. What is wrong with us? How has it gotten to this point where we justify dressing our children up as bait for molesters and sex addicts? How have we become so tossed and turned by public opinion? How have we strayed so far from having the balls to use the words "right" and "wrong". Sean O'Casey said it best: "The world in a terrible state o' chassis"

10-26-2004, 08:49 AM	#133 (permalink)
solo2020 Tilted Location: Los Angeles	Not being a parent myself (I'm 20 years old) here is my worthless .02 cents. Allowing a 12 year old daughter to wear a thong is a no-no is most peoples book. However, once I entered college, I found out that the quiet ones in high school were the drunken sex-crazed girls in college. Allowing your daughter to become exposed to such things at an early age can have either effect. It's like a father offering a son a cigarette or a beer at a young age. Not because the father is a horrible parent, but because he wants his son to know what it feels like to smoke a cigarette or become tipsy off a beer. My conservative Korean parents were fairly lax on my upbringing here in the States. I was allowed to do pretty much anything (within the law). I had my share of drugs, trouble making, and general nuisance to other people. But I am planning on becoming a productive member of this society ( a la college ).

10-26-2004, 11:35 AM	#139 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	There is no research that anyone has cited that shows that wearing a thong will cause a younger girl to be more likely to be sexually preyed upon, nor that it will make them act any more sexually aggressive/submissive than non-thong wearing girls. Therefore, for our purposes, any advice or opinions written on this topic are pure opinion. You speculate that young girls wearing thongs somehow condones "negative" sexual practice. I believe the wearing of a thong has little, if anything, to do with that. You also stated that parents who allowed their girls to wear thongs are "sick" and "bad parents". There's not much of an argument that can be made against that, as you give no reasons for your opinions; suffice to say that I disagree with you on that point. And yes, I did come off rather strongly, because it irks me when people throw out personal attacks in discussions that are primarily based on someone seeking advice.

10-26-2004, 06:10 PM	#144 (permalink)
jillian Crazy Location: indiana	i started wearing thongs at the age of 14... my mother was wearing them for as long as i can remember.. as my older sister as well.. we didnt wear them to be desxy we were taught that "granny panties" created a noticible panty line... of course this was 6 almost 7 years ago but back then for me and my mother it was about comfort.. they dont ride up.. u are not contstantly picking at your wedgie..lol partly because thongs are already up there.. lol... now as far as my daughter goes... it will depend on her... if she is doing it to impress boys then no... if its because shes constantly picking her butt or hates the lines it creates in her pants then yes.....all that said i currently dont wear underwear... not to be sexy but for comfort.. if i wanna be sexy then i will put a thong on and give the guys a peek at what could be instore for them if they play thier cards right... lol

10-26-2004, 06:43 PM	#145 (permalink)
JaySpencer Tilted	I have to young girls that are 2yo and 6yo respectivly, so am not at the age to ask for that. I think that if they wanted to wear them, even at 12, that I would let them....however, in all fairness since I am not there yet, I find I can't judge it either way.

10-26-2004, 09:59 PM	#149 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	Middle way man here to save the day! Parents need to strike a balance between being their child's friend and their führer. If you act too much like a dictator, your children will not be comfortable with you, and they will lie to you and keep their problems to themselves. If you are too much their friend, they will not treat your rules and orders with due respect, and you will lose the ability to guide them with a firm hand. This dynamic obviously changes as the children grow older, and hopefully, mature.

10-27-2004, 05:59 AM	#151 (permalink)
dksuddeth Junkie Location: bedford, tx	For all of the individuals labeling parents who allow 12 year olds (who actually cares what age it is anyway) to wear thongs as sick, bad, or uncaring parents....let me give you a small insight as to the parents dillema. I'm a 38 year old stepfather to a 15 year old girl. Her mother came to me when the girl was 13.5 telling me that she was going to buy some thong underwear for her daughter and I, at first, said "the hell you will". This is what changed my mind about it. My stepdaughter, as sweet as she is, is on the overweight side and as such doesn't have alot of friends while most of the rest tease her about her weight. With an already serious inferiority complex about her, she was also getting mercilessly picked on because her 'white cotton panties' would constantly stick out abover her belt line and these cruel kids(mostly girls) would not let up. I agreed to letting my stepdaughter have the thongs to A)keep her from being teased and B) Being on the heavy side she doesn't dress skimpy. It has nothing to do with trying to be her 'friend' especially since I'm more of a father to her than her biological one and its not about wanting her to be 'popular' like the others. She's a better emotionally adjusted girl now instead of the depressed teen she was before. Walk a mile in someone elses shoes before applying labels to people based on ignorance of the situation.

10-27-2004, 06:29 AM	#153 (permalink)
dksuddeth Junkie Location: bedford, tx	I was picked on in the early 80's also for my height(or lack of it anyway) so I also remember what it was like. Yes, I do know that the diehard bullies will ALWAYS find something to pick on other kids about. With regards to my stepdaughters predicament, once she stopped with the big white panties she was picked on far less than before. It MIGHT have something to do with the fact that she's 5' 6" and 170 lbs. She's quite capable of dealing with most of the teasing by standing up for herself. It was the underwear issue that was really tearing her up. Can't really figure out why but I'm just happy that her self image has improved somewhat. I do agree that 12 is too young, maybe even 14 in my opinion.....it makes for a tough decision when it affects your childs emotional health. The proverbial rock and a hard place.

10-27-2004, 07:24 AM	#154 (permalink)
SecretMethod70 Human Administrator Location: Chicago	I think we're starting to touch upon the real issue here. What needs to be addressed has little to do with the material solutions presented. Instead of addressing - from the beginning, not just when they first appear as problems - the underlying emotional issues, we are trying to remedy them through consumerism, materialism, and falsehood. Teenage cosmetic surgery is on the rise. Why? Because it's easier to address the THING that the child identifies as the source of her emotional problem than the emotional problem itself. There are plenty of people considered ugly who feel it absolutely imperitive that they work to conform, through changes in fashion or even surgery, to society's standards. Only that's never enough because it doesn't address the real issue. Likewise, there are plenty of people who would be considered ugly by most who have no significant problems with themselves. They accept themselves for who they are and do not feel the need to go to such extremes to conform to the expectations of others. This is what must be addressed from the moment a child is born. The material and social constructs must be openly discussed and challenged. The child must understand - to the degree he is capable - the forces at work around him. There will always be peer pressure of various kinds, and I think there is a severe defecit in the empowering of children to resist pressure and think for themselves. This defecit is only strengthened by the effects of Mass Media Mind Control directed towards the parents AND the children. When an executive of "forever21" freely talks about using parents longing for their youth to make them buy sexy clothes for their duaghters in the hope of recapturing it vicariously, it's clear that there is a serious reason to question who is in real control of the decisions and attitudes in our society. The peer pressures that children feel today are direct results of corporate influence and agendas. __________________ Le temps détruit tout "Musicians are the carriers and communicators of spirit in the most immediate sense." - Kurt Elling Last edited by SecretMethod70; 10-27-2004 at 07:26 AM..

10-27-2004, 08:49 AM	#155 (permalink)
Woodberg Upright	I've got an 11 yo daughter and I'm interested in the same thing. I'm not thinking its a good idea but don't really have a good reason.

10-27-2004, 10:26 AM	#156 (permalink)
Suave Twitterpated Location: My own little world (also Canada)	The only problem with trying to address the emotional issues that pubescent youngsters have (although it is still the best way, I agree), is that they're all crazy. I know at that age I cared more about what people at school that I barely even knew said than what my parents said, and from what I've read of psychology, that's actually a pretty normal thing. There are numerous emotional and psychological conditions attributed to puberty, and they are very widespread in our society. I'd think the best way to help your children deal with the pressures of puberty would be to start emotionally "molding" them, if you will, to learn to resist those BS peer issues that always arise in Jr High and HS. Also, extensive socializing with many other children at young ages is probably a very good idea as well, so that they can better cope with those issues when presented in a social situation (not just psychologically after the fact). And I apologize for my personal attack. It's not an excuse, but I happened to be reading this thread at a period of mental and emotional imbalance. I shouldn't have attacked you for your differing views, Grace, and I'm sorry.

10-29-2004, 08:04 AM	#158 (permalink)
Sargeman Insane Location: Texas	As a father of two daughters one of which is 11 I have to ask, What purpose would a 12 year have for wearing a thong? To fit in? To fit in what? Society? With other girls? If no one is going to see their thongs then there is no need for them to have any. If my daughter asked if she could have some and wear them I would ask her why. Because everyone else has them is not a good answer. So they can fit in is also not a good enought answer. If they can give me a good answer I will surely consider it. Otherwise the answer is NO. It's like those shorts/sweatpants that have the words on the butt. What purpose do those things have other than to draw attention to a little girls butt? __________________ ...because there are no facts, there is no truth, just data to be manipulated. I can get you any results you like, what's it worth to you.....