mtn_biker30

Potty training was a piece of cake for my daughter who is 6 now, but my other daughter who just turned 3 refuses to even attempt it. We have given her a little potty that she can sit on and when that didnt work we bought a seat that goes on the toilet. Thats not appealing to her either.

She is so stubborn compared to her sister and little bribes dont work.
Help us out!

Charlatan

We just let our son run around naked in the back yard.

We had a small potty he could run to and a stump (the "pee tree") where he could go.

For the first little while he was just amazed that stuff came out but with help he soon learned where he was to go. Not wearing a diaper made it very apparent what was happening.

He was down to a diaper at night only in a few weeks and completely out of diapers in a few months.

Don't have a back yard anymore so I'm not sure what we're going to do with out new baby.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

mr sticky

My tact on potty training was to let the child do it themselves. It would be their idea, and all their effort. My wife kind of rebeled against this idea, but in the end she lamented. Our chidren both pretty much potty trained themselves in about three days, with out accidents, and no agony on our part. Both did it right around their third birthday.

I promise, don't push it. Let them sort of take the lead. A slight mention every so often, then leave it alone. They will suprise you.

And remember, all kids are potty trained before kindergarten. So don't sweat it.

__________________
The sad thing is... as you get older you come to realize that you don't so much pilot your life, as you just try to hold on, in a screaming, defiant ball of white-knuckle anxious fury

sexymama

Is the 6 year old involved in any sports (dance, gymnastics) that the younger daughter would like to participate in? If so, tell her that she has to be potty trained in order to go as they don't take kids in diapers.

Another idea is to pee with her -- side by side.

My youngest refused to be potty trained. I told her that big girls go in the toilet. She said she was my baby, not a big girl. She would be a big girl when she is 3. So I didn't push. The day she turned 3 I said, "you're a big girl now, so time to use the toilet." She said okay and never had an accident after that. Maybe set a date when your daughter will become a "big girl."

Other than that, don't worry and don't push. I've never seen a kindergartner come to school unable to use a toilet. Sometimes the pressure to "perform" is too much for a child and backing off is the best way to get them to do it. Best of luck!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

raeanna74

I'm in the middle of this right now. My daughter is 3, will be 4 in July. I haven't made much of an issue with this. She hasn't been interested in stickers, sticker chart, jelly beans, or any other rewards. To begin with she treated panties just like diapers so for a couple weeks when possible (not when going to the store or out) I let her run around the house with a dress on and nothing underneath (I mentioned this to her Dr at her checkup and her dr thought it was a good idea - she has her own toddler). Going to the potty was easy, hassle free, and she was WELL aware of any accidents (I also borrowed my mom's carpet shampooer) so she began to try to go more often. I have a home day care and one child I only have every other week. I notice at least a slight regression every week that she comes back but it seems less each time. Also I let my daughter choose when she wanted to wear a diaper or panty. I found that if I insisted on panties that we inveriably had an accident. Sometimes I noticed she would ask for diapers more when she wasn't feeling well. Up until about 2 weeks ago she would not go poo in the potty. I think because of splashing. I didn't make any issue except to remind her each time she went poo in her diaper/panties that she wouldn't have to get cleaned up and changed if she used the potty instead. This week has been pretty successful. The test will be this coming Monday when the day care girl comes back. The one that comes every other week is also in potty training and about the same stage but about 9 months younger. I've gotten some flack from my family for NOT making it a serious training issue but it's been fairly stress free for both me and my daughter. Yes she is going to be 4 this summer but I have confidence she will be well trained by her birthday.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

LutherMac

With our son, we just cut him cold turkey from the diapers. Might have had about a week's worth of accidents, but he quickly realized that if he didn't go, there was going to be a mess.

Now, wetting the bed went a little longer. About a month later, he was wetting the bed maybe once a week... after about 6 months, it was once a month....

__________________
Always remember that you are unique... just like everyone else!

mtn_biker30

Thanks for the advice... there's quite a few things i hadn't considered...
I'll take it to my boss (wife)...

:::OshnSoul:::

Once Upon a Potty book & tape- HIGHLY recommended.

Star Chart & Reward for a certain number of successful times.

Those 2 greatly helped our son. Keep them fascinated with it.

housedude

My experience has been similar to Reanna's.
My third child is three and just about 98% trained now.
I treat 'em with respect and love.
I let her know starting last year that it was coming, and started to use stickers, etc. almost immedietly. All of this reinforced my message, but she didn't get trained 'till she was good and ready!
A big part was her seeing her friends trained. At this age, they start to realize that they are seperate from you.
Anyone else see this?
My princess, referenced above, also just decided that she didn't need me in her room any more to fall asleep. I can tuck her in, and then she tells me I can go now! (My baby is growing up)...

skinbag

The "Once Upon a Potty" book worked for us. He liked the story and wanted to see how that worked. Actually, since the kid in the story used a little "basin" thingy, we had to convince him a toilet was just as cool!!

agball

I have a son who just turned 3. He had 0 interest in the potty up until 2 weeks ago. We always spoke about it before this point giving him no pressure (reading books about it). Pressuring the child into using it is the worst thing you can do. Keep incouraging them to use it and offer rewards when they do (like a jellybean or m&m).

I find that when they are ready they will do it. My son just woke up one day 2 weeks ago & decided he was ready. he has not had a daytime accident since, but we still put a diaper on at night, just in case.

One other thing that seemed to work for me was I told him that I spoke with his doctor, who he loves, and that the doctor said to tell him that he is a big boy now, because he is 3 and that big boys use the potty. The next day is when he started using it.

Luki

I'm not a parent, but I am a big sister, and I take a parenting course in school. What I noticed was, that my baby sister saw that my mother and I used the toilet and when you use the restroom the child likes to do the same. Hence a "monkey see; monkey do" attitude for the child. Whereas all children are individually different, you have to find a way for her to want to use the potty chair.

__________________
Your part is silent you little toad - a line from the new phantom of the opera

:::OshnSoul:::

As seen on Dr. Phil,
Getting a doll that can go potty and have your child teach the dolly. From teaching, they will learn. Also let them know that you can have a "potty party" when they go potty. Horn blowers, hats, streamers, etc. Something simple, yet delightful and encouraging for the child.

Charlatan

I just find that hilarious... it's a great idea. The potty party.

My daughter will be ready to train in a few months now. I just have to get some party supplies...

woo hoo! party in the loo!!!

:::OshnSoul:::

^^^ We didn't have a dolly that went potty but one that had a toilet so we pretended. We also threw a few parties. It's exciting for them and it's something they can look forward to.

clavus

Musical potty. There's an electronic eye in it. Pass something in front of the sensor, and a triumphant little tune plays.

Hey, it worked, ok?

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

fnaqzna

We struggled with our son for a few weeks and finally just gave up and assumed that he would do it when he was ready. That's exactly what he did. I think it took him all of two days once he decided that he wanted to. He was about two at the time.

raeanna74

Well I believe I can announce success. It's been 2 1/2 weeks without an accident. What did it for my daughter was her two closest friends finally potty trained. She wanted to be like them. Positive Peer pressure is a wonderful thing. lol

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

raeanna74

Ok. I may have posted prematurely this last time.

I know kids will go through lapses as they learn new things and go through new stages. I didn't realize they'd go back to square one though.

Since last Friday my daughter has completely refused to use the toilet. I got her to do it once today using a reward. Though since then we've still not been successful. She says she just doesn't want to stop and go to the potty. It frustrates me because I know she had good control of this. Even to the point of one time when we were in the car on the way home and she said she had to go I asked her if she could wait till we got home. About 5 min later we were home and inside. She headed to the bathroom and went - stayed dry while she was waiting. Today she messed on my carpet many more times that I'd like to admit. (Thank goodness Mom has a carpet shampooer) I even caught her one time not long after she's went her pants and put them in the laundry that she squatted in the middle of the livingroom floor and pooped. There weren't any cartoons on and she hadn't been currently playing with anything. She just walked into the livingroom and did it! She could have just as easily walked into the bathroom too. She won't use the potty chair, big potty, or potty seat with a stool for use on the big potty. Bribes haven't worked either. Bribes never worked for her anyway.

Nothing has changed in our daily schedule. In fact 2 weeks ago she stayed at Grammy's for 3 days with no mistakes before, during or after. But then this weekend when we followed the usual schedule of things, waking, sleeping, play, etc and she starts acting like she doesn't know the words "go potty." I mean she even looked at me blankly once when I asked her if she needed to go. I know it had to be an act. She's very verbal and understands what I say more than I realize even sometimes.

I'm just stuck, frustrated, and stunned. I even caught her playing in her poopy today. She will be 4 this July. She is well old enough to handle this. Am I doing something wrong? Is there something I'm missing? Or is this completely normal and won't last long? Please tell me it won't last long. lol I don't think I can take much more.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

Cynthetiq

cheerios, try and sink 'em

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

phyzix525

with my daughter it was hard to get her to use the potty for anything other then just peeing. We bought a video and a book and she figured out that if she goes pee we will give her a couple small marshmellows. Then we bought her some panties and it was hard for her to remember that they were not dipers and we had a lot of stinky messes. This would go on for a couple weeks till I was giving her a bath and she stood up and said she had to go poopy, so I sat her on the pot and away she went. Then I gave her the big marshmellows and she has never had a problem with it again. So i guess letting them walk around bottomless would have probably been the best thing to do from the beggining.

__________________
It's hard to remember we're alive for the first time
It's hard to remember we're alive for the last time
It's hard to remember to live before you die
It's hard to remember that our lives are such a short time
It's hard to remember when it takes such a long time

agball

yikkes, sorry to here about the step backwards, I'm sure it will all come together soon.

__________________
"A friend with weed is a friend indeed"

Astrocloud

My friends dad was a psychiatrist... he used to put M&M's in my friends mouth when he was sitting on the potty.

I'm not sure if it worked any better than any other way. But it's interesting.

icy_ca

There's some great ideas in this thread. Thanks a lot for you folks. Hopefully now my son will be more hit and less miss with the potty.

__________________
After all is said and done,
more is said than done.

angeltek

My son is 17 months now, and has started using the potty. Seriously, he knows what it is, and what to do. Completely shocked me. However, he still wears a diaper cause he is still pretty young. But everytime I change his diaper he gets to sit on the potty, and he loves it. he has his book that he pretends to read, and he'll sit there for 10 minutes. sometimes he will do something, sometimes he won't. I guess I am just not too sure where to go at this point wiht him. Any suggestions?

Charlatan

In the end, my daughter pretty much trained herself. She just started asking to use the potty and within a few weeks she was down to just diapers in the night and within a few more weeks she was going nights without.

She did all of this when she was about 2 to 2.5. She's now three and very rarely has any accidents -- and when she does it's ususally our fault.

__________________
"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Grasshopper Green

We bought a potty for our son about 18 months and he loved it. However, he didn't seem interested in going in it..just sitting on it and using it as a stepstool (which it was as well, what a combo huh). The first few times he went in it we just made a big deal about it. He still didn't completely train until about 3. We started putting him in underwear, he had accidents for two weeks, and one day stopped himself mid-accident and announced he had to go in the big boy toilet, and he's been trained since then. He'll use it when he's ready.

__________________
"They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king"

Formerly Medusa

SuicideBlonde

In potty training my children I found that putting them in underwear and having a potty schedule did the trick. I took them to pick out their underwear at a store, at the time she really loved Barney so it was a treat to wear them. In training my second daughter, we kept complimenting her on being a big girl with really cool underwear. She was so proud. First thing in the morning I would immediately take her to the bathroom, usually by carrying her in a playful way and then pull her drawers down and putting her on the potty chair. We then had a motto, "listen to your body, pee pee on the potty". I also bought a few potty training videos. It took less than a week.
You just have to make it fun and not a battle.

Delivery Girl

I've got two girls, one 3 1/2 and one 21 months...the 3 1/2 y/o was introduced to the potty at 13 months because she decided to climb up on it an go...so we bought her a little one. I let her watch me and do her thing whenever I went potty (she hated clothes so we did the naked thing too), and lo and behold, by the time our second daughter was born, my first was 21 months and pretty consistant. Diapers still at night. Then, with the new baby we had a relapse and she had accidents on and off until about 2 1/2, then, no more accidents but still had a diaper at night until last week...since...nothing! My younger one is going a different route, she's in a toddler montessori program and part of the program is potty training. They start them at 15 months wearing underwear so they feel "wet" when they go in their pants. She's 21 months now and is going all day w/o a diaper...to school, during and home, all in underwear. It's been within the last few weeks that this has really come together, she started the program at 17 months, but it has been the best thing for her. It's been kindof a long process for both my kids, but very gentle, indroducing it when they showed intrest!

__________________
Catch 'em if you can!

Delivery Girl

spindles

We are getting ready for this and my wife just sent me this link:

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/toilettraining

this is their index to multiple articles, so nothing particularly easy to quote here.

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

Derwood

we did the m&m reward thing until it was clear that she was squeezing out pee every 30 minutes for the candy, so we switched to a big chart and stickers.

__________________
"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

CaliLivChick

Well, little bribes worked on me. My mom took me out to the store and let me pick out a pair of panties that were very special (I chose lacy butt ones, but if I had wanted to wear boy's Spiderman underwear, she would have purchased those), and when I didn't need to wear diapers anymore, my reward was wearing those panties. It worked on my sister too.

__________________
Don't trust anything that can bleed for a week and not die. Oh wait, that's me... nevermind... you can trust me.

dawnoffawn

Well, guess what?
My kiddo started playing with the sensor instead of going potty,lol!!! He'd just pass his hand through it to hear the tune and it turned into his favorite toy! So, i was left with an untrained kid and a cool toy,lol.

dawnoffawn

I tell him, if he does something in the potty, he'll get a candy, and it works sometimes and sometimes it doesn't...but we're still in the beginning, so I'll see how it works out..

Elphaba

That is what I've seen of the mom's I know. A big "Happy Dance" and a call to Daddy, grandma's, you name it, with great enthusiasm.

snowy

We're potty-training the kids at one of the facilities I work at. There's a potty chart, and for every time they successfully go potty, they get a big gold star on the potty chart. After 5 stars, they get to pick out a little toy out of a box we put together. It seems to be working so far!

__________________
If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

ClostGoth

My 3yr old was completely potty trained before I took him with me to take care of my grandmother in another state for two months. It threw him for a loop and he regressed for a while. I let him, until we had been home for three months and I realized that he just needed to stop. So I put my foot down one day when we were grocery shopping and told him that I was NOT going to buy diapers for him any more. He can wear pull-ups at night if he has accidents, but he's not going to wear them during the day. It took two days of me reminding him every half an hour to go potty. I didn't give him a choice the first day and it was something of a fight. I just announced it to be potty time, put him on the toilet, and stood there with him (sometimes running water in the sink) for at least a couple of minutes. He was rewarded with stickers to put on a chart when he actually went, extra stickers for remembering to wash his hands and flush... By the second day he was going without having to be put there. By the third day he was remembering to go without having to be asked. Now two months later he hasn't had a single accident! My older two were naked trained and I really do prefer the method. Either loose boxers or just a teeshirt for a day or three and they're potty trained! I didn't do that with Michael because I have state workers coming to the house unexpectedly all the time (to visit foster children staying here, to drop off kids or pick them up, etc...) and they frown on that sort of thing with foster children in the house. *shrugs*

Charmin has a GREAT potty training resource for free! I've used this with my middle two successfully - the stickers were great fun and the book was endlessly interesting. It also made great material to keep them sitting on the toilet long enough to go - they'd read the book while going. It even comes with a measuring thing you hang on your TP wrack that shows them how much toilet paper to use:

http://www.samples.aohosting.net/campaign/Charmin_PTK

__________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
--Douglas Adams