High emotion or stoic?
 

Would you prefer to be high emotion, or be a person who burys it? Let me explain.

I know this girl. Shes really cool, happy person. Beautiful great big warming smile. Whens shes happy shes extactic. When she gets bummed out....its almost depression. And its sad to see that.

I was talkin to her online today, and all of a sudden (from whatever other conversation she was having) she stopps talking. Take a look at her away messag and it looks like shes really bummed out.

So, basicaly her emotions end up at the extremes...(not manic depresive just....big emotions)

I gave her the advice to not let stuff get to her.

Got me thinkin...thats what I do. I dont let anything get to me. I bury any emotion I feel rising up. Remain nuetral. Anything I cant bury, I cover up with bravado, and arrogance. Its easy to go through life like this. But Ive had people tell me to show a little emotion. Most of the time you cant get more then a big smile and a chuckle out of me. And when Im down...I dont let anyone in on it.

Now, I started thinking....Which is better? And did I give her the right advice?

EDIT: Stoic is the word that sums up the no emotion point...

The "right" thing that everyone says is be open. Dont hide your emmotions, or bury your worrries and or fears. That only lets them grow to the extremes. When this buildup becomes too much it can cause serious dammage, like depression, withdrawl...

On the other end of the spectra, dont go losing your cool, and crying at every instance. Maintain your composure, but be more open to people. Talking about your problems is the best way to deal with them.

I'm the same as you, i dont let anyone near me, afraid i might hurt them in some way. But when someone else is down, i absorb their emmotion and make it mine. Its tough, but we gotta live through it or change. Its your own choice that makes you who YOU are.

I'm a very "smooth" kinda person, in that my emotions aren't very powerful. I do have them, and do get angry/happy/whatever at times, but it's over quickly. Usually I'm just the overly rational me.

I don't know if it's better than being overly emotional (although I can't stand such people), but it's just me - can't change that.

Sorry, I'm a passionate person.
Emotional, energetic & empathic by nature.
I would rather be that way, although I've had to learn to control it for professional situations.

Life is too short, otherwise.

Balance is the key. Learn to accept that yes you do have emotions, but you have to learn to control them.
Acknowledge the existence of your emotions, but you cannot be a slave to them.
It would be impossible to get through life if you break down into tears everytime someone says something harsh to you!

Some people view "being in control of your emotions" as being the same as "being unfeeling and insensitive". This isn't true. I have just learned to live with my emotions, and don't let them lead my life.

THIS THREAD MAKES ME SO ANGRY!!! oh guys i can't stay angry lets go have a beer. WHAT?? you don't want to have a beer with me *begins to cry* why won't you have a beer with me. Oh it's your birthday? WOW thats awesome we gotta celebrate this is soo cool I can't believe its your birthday.

:thumbsup:

Couldn't have put it better myself!

That's the way I see things as well. The only problem is that people can sometimes think I'm a little cold because I don't show the emotion. It's there, but there isn't always a need to express it.

In my (admittedly limited) experience, emotions only interfere. A calm, clear mind is always superior to one influenced by human emotions. Recognize their existence, and be aware of their effect on those around you, but do not allow them to affect your judgement or behavior.

Much easier said than done, certainly.

I am one of those people that you would call 'deadened'. While my g/f and I were driving, we saw a guy get hit by a car. She freaked out while I pulled over and did the EMT stuff.
Im not often outerly happy nor depressed, usually just a neutral kind of mood. The opposite, as has already been described a lot, wastes a lot of time, but repressing wastes a lot of life.

I think that there needs to be a healthy mix - as with most things in life.

Plus, while being over effusive may be symptomatic of bipolar, repressing can cause serious psychological issues, a couple of my buddies are screwed up as such...

Manic-depressives, or bipolars, do behave similarly to how you describe. If it interferes with lifestyle or school it's probably more than a "mood swing" kind of thing.

The biggest problem is that "denial" is not just a river in Egypt and bipolars are masters of it.

So...ask a doc.

i guess you need a balance of emotions a sort of control so to speak, not like vulcans that would suppress all emotion, just kinda deal with each situation and work with it. be happy be sad but not tooooooo much of extremes, they aren't good for ya

It's really hard to change the way you are, if you are emotional or stoic, that's probably the way you'll remain. The best way to get balance, I have found, is to form relationships with others who have tendencies the opposite of you. I'm the stoic, and one of my good buddies is exuberant at all times. And it works out that when we're hanging out his excitement catches on to me, but when serious shit happens, it's easy to handle it cuz the clear head prevails.

Uh...I guess too much of anything is bad.

DON'T WORRY KIDS! CAPTAIN REASONABLE MODERATION IS HERE TO SAVE THE DAY!

Emotions can make some people act very stupid sometimes.. Personally, I prefer being more calm and neutral.

I think overdoing it is definitely a bad thing, but if you hold everything in, your never gonna be any fun to be around, and your not going to have any fun. I guess just be happy without being obnoxious, and be kinda sad with out letting it crush you.

I would prefer to Stoic than eratic...

Hey hun, thats called bipolarism. emotions are just that, they make you emotional, but within reason.... usually.

but emotions are great. if you dont have them, youre impossible to deal with (dated a guy like that, almost killed me) judging people by their emotions isnt fair but the do have a huge affect on those are you.

The key is finding a balance between letting your brain think and letting your heart think

I try to recognize my emotions, and recognize that by definition one cannot control their emotions, and that therefore I should refrain from acting on those emotions, until I can think rationally again. Unfortunately, not everyone (my wife) is so enlightened!

it's odd... in alot of ways i'm two people. the first is phred the wild, nutty, do anything, say anything goofball who makes sure people notice him without any regard to what people think. i like being loud, obnoxious, and overly silly, and i like others around me to catch that vibe and have fun. it gives me life and fuels me.

the other part of me is the very cold, private, reserved me. i have alot of negative things in my life at this moment (not to say i don't have any positives, but the lion's share...) - i keep alot of my darker, sadder, negative emotions inside and cover them with phred, because life flows easier that way. not to say that i don't deal with them or just let them fester, but i prefer to keep those things to myself and not burden others with them. very few people get to see me. my mother, my girlfriend, and a few others know me. everyone else knows phred. i'm fine with that, i'm happy with both of who i am. i feel that a fair balance of yin and yang, light and dark, keeps me normal and makes me who i am.

well considering that the extreme case would probably mean i'm bipolar, i'd choose the other option. i think life flows well with how i am now. sometimes i hide my emotion. sometimes no one really understands me. but for the few people who do, i'm thankful for.

Well, personaly I dont see her as bi polar. She simply expresses her emotions... in a bigger way manybe. Its hard to explain. Personaly, I tend to hold it in, and I dont let people know how I feel. Stoic.

Emotions are a large part of what makes us human, but sometimes being human isn't always to your advantage. Emotions make you easy to read, easy to take advantage of, and ultimately, easy to dispose of.

Understanding and being able to control your emotions make it easier to portray the image you want to portray, and make people think what you want them to think. If your face is a mask and your body a costume that you can change at will to fit what you want other people to believe, it is amazing how much easier life becomes, and how much more you can get out of any situation.

Adaptation means taking a weakness and turning it into an advantage, and adapting is something humans are supposed to be quite good at.

I'm fairly emotional although I'm attempting to learn how to control these emotions.

I was raised to not show emotion because it was a weakness. I dont really judge anyone who does. I just cant understand people who love the drama. Im getting better at expressing myself though

*Edit* Being raised a certain way is only to show the root of the problem. not an excuse =)

Im with PF_01. (earlier post applies still)

I was taught that if you were to do it, it were to be done in private, and that life is like a battle that you need to face like a warrior. Fighting for life needs clarity of emotion.

That same side, I can see how the other side works, but I wasn't raised that way so it is completely alien to me.

Thats 'nuff from me...

emotions are the most primitive part of our responsive brain.
I prefer not to wallow in them or indulge them more than simply acknowledging their existence, experiencing them momentarily for what they are, and after that reasserting conscious and rational management of my life.
life is too short to be experiencing it emotionally.

I tend to try to limit my emotions. It has been my experience that emotions tend to override normally logical thought, leading people to make decisions that they shouldnt have.

Acknowledging them is fine, but when people wallow in them, or allow them to control their thoughts or decisions, they have let them get too important.

Of all emotions though, I think anger is the most dangerous. More bad decisions have been made as a result of anger than I think any other emotion. Being able to control one's anger is an excellent trait.

well id p[refer to be more emotional... i pretty much feel no emotions... sure sometimes im happy or sometimes im sad... but im never so excited i feel the need t o yell and scream (like a fan at a game) and i dont feel love .... hopefully this will change

I am fairly limited emotionally. Very few things really arouse passion in me. My wife and kids bring out the most emotion that I've felt, especially the kids. Nothing compares to the sheer mind-wrenching terror I felt when my son was born and wasn't breathing right.

Unfortunately, being of limited emotion means that I have less defense mechanisms in place to deal with such extreme emotions. I tend to sort of lock down tight when it happens as I am deeply afraid of overreacting when under that sort of rare life-curshing emotional issue.

I am a fairly cool person by temperment, and have frequently been called cold. I don't let it get to me. Yeah, big shock, I know.

I don't think I've ever heard or thought of that before, but in some ways it resonates with me pretty well. Thanks for turning me on my head, Art!