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cheerios 07-16-2003 01:57 AM

what are valid reasons for suicide?
 
some people seem to think that there are at least a few valid reasons for suicide. Others seem to think it's all out wrong. so, my question to you is: what are good reasons to kill yourself? Is it ever justified?

My opinion, is that cases of extreme pain, where going on just isn't an option, justified suicide. I do not think that said pain must be physical. Perminant psychological torture is just as painful as physical torture, and I don't see the need for distinction between the two. I often hear that suicide is selfish, because people don't think of the one's they leave behind. This perplexes me, because whenever I was hurting, I was always told to take care of myself, before worrying about others. Which is it?

Chamberdweller 07-16-2003 03:45 AM

Well i think the problem with judgeing whether or not suicide can be justifiable is that there's so many thing's telling you whether it can be or not. Religion, family, society, friends, whatever culture you hang around, and your personal thought's and beliefs, but i have alway's believed that if you are in so much mental or physical pain that you can't go on and you see NO possible way or there is no possible way to make it stop then there is such a thing as justifiable suicide. Well thats my two cent's.

<(^_^)>

Darkblack 07-16-2003 04:53 AM

I don't think so.

Unless you are suffering from an incurable illness or you are 100 years old in a hospital bed suffering, there is no reason to kill yourself.

What may suck for you today may have an easy fix that you have not found yet.

Most people that commit suicide think there is no one around that cares if they are gone or not but in reality a lot of people care. There are entire centers of people that care enough to volunteer time to talk you out of killing yourself.

Life can be suck but there is always something good going on in your life. You just have to find that something and latch onto it until everything else evens out a bit.

alpha phi 07-16-2003 05:29 AM

I've always looked at suicide as a permanant soultion to a temporary problem!
I suppose the terminal illness thing could be a valid exception for some people.
for me.........haveing no exceptions, has kept me from becomeing suicidal

seretogis 07-16-2003 06:02 AM

Suicide is always justified to those who attempt it. It is a hasty response to negative pressure, of course, but to suggest that there are "valid reasons" and "invalid reasons" for suicide is a bit unusual.

Fallon 07-16-2003 06:32 AM

I'm probably goin to step on some toes with this, but one of my ex-gf's, when she was a child, her father molested her. He also would beat on her on occassion, and various other things. She tried to commit suicide many times, for which I don't blame her. I don't think anyone can call that a temporary problem. She's going to suffer from those abuses for the rest of her life. Now don't get me wrong, I wouldn't like to see her commit suicide, but being someone who somewhat knows her position, I wouldn't blame her for it.

Peetster 07-16-2003 07:27 AM

Had she succeeded, Fallon, it would have been tragic. You aren't suggesting that ending her own life would have been justified, are you? There is a world of difference between a botched suicidal cry for help and ending your life.

Fallon 07-16-2003 07:54 AM

Yes indeed, it would have been tragic, nor am I saying that it would have been justified, I'm saying I'd understand why she did it though.
I suppose for me it's easier to understand because I know the girl and know to an extent what's shes been though. Also with my previous close calls with ending my own life

sportsrule101 07-16-2003 08:01 AM

Ever watched "ITs a Wonderful Life", its got some truth in it. Fallon if you or your gf were no longer alive, you wouldn't be there to comfort each other. People can be worn down and not in there "right" mind but hopefully they won't go all the way, but will escape whatever is exasperating them.

Fallon 07-16-2003 09:07 AM

But, if they weren't there, I wouldn't know that I'd be missing them. It's an interesting argument to say, if they are dead, you'd be different. Yes, that's quite true. I most certainly would be different, but I'm the way I am right now because of the steps in life that I have taken, and the steps that those around me have taken. Because of some of the people I knew killing themselves, I've also taken different steps.

Now for my ex-gf, she's going to be tormented by what's happened to her, and it's not suddenly not be a problem for her anymore.

Sen 07-16-2003 09:21 AM

Justifiable suicide is an interesting concept. I can't think of any situaitons off the top of my head where you would be justified to sit down and end your life.

However, I can think of some situations where the circumstances dictate that if you take action A, then you will die. I think that would fall into the realm of suicide and could be considered justifiable. For instance: Any action that appears to be certain death for you, but you willingly make that decsion in order to save someone else.

wilywampa 07-16-2003 10:20 AM

what if your choice is between suicide and being tortured to death, like if you are captured as a POW by fighters known to torture soldiers they capture?

Minx 07-16-2003 10:55 AM

Personally I think that most people commit suicide in order to run from their conceived (or real) problems. I view it as the proverbial easy way out. I do believe though that it would be justifiable in extreme cases of illness.
My Mother's best friend nursed her own Mother through years of cancer treatment. She watched her wither and die slowly in vast vast amounts of pain over the course of a long period of time. Once she had passed on, my Mother's friend told her that she would kill herself in order to not have to go through that herself or to put family members through it. Makes you stop and think. If I saw my own Mother in intense pain and knew that there was no solution and the end result would be the same....I would do my damndest to allow her a quick and painless death compared to possible years of suffering.

And....good point firefly you made about being a POW. I think then a lot of people would view suicide in a different light.

seretogis 07-16-2003 11:16 AM

What do you think are the determining factors in whether suicide is "justified" or not? Is immense physical pain a factor, but psychological/emotional pain is not?

From my experience, my emotional scars have been much more painful than physical. The times that I've seriously thought about suicide have been times of intense emotional duress, not times when I was physically ill for days or weeks.

anti fishstick 07-16-2003 12:49 PM

i think the only justifiable suicide is doctor assisted suicide. if i'm a vegetable, if i'm living on machines to keep me alive.. i dont think i'd want to keep on living. whats the point? what joys do i see? i'm just..breathing. when animals suffer, the right thing to do is end their life bcos it's better to be dead than to suffer physically until death. why isn't it the same for humans?

but generally, i don't think suicide is the answer at -all-. it is a cry for help. it is the easy way out. life, with all it's emotions and ups and downs, IS suffering. there will be moments when you'll suffer. some more than others for different reasons. truama. depression. etc. but its part of living. if it's not time to die, then you have to start living.

Fallon 07-16-2003 07:05 PM

So, hypothetical response here. Let's say I'm Timmy, a 22 year old who's got nothing to account for in his life, he can't say anything good about his life, all of the choices he's had to make have been hard ones. Such as, live here till next month, or eat? He's never had an easy choice in his life. Finally he starts contemplating suicide, and finally decides that he's going to...
Now, is that him taking "the easy way out?"

edit: Just want to make sure to say that the situation above about housing or food would have been one of his easier ones.

carl0z 07-16-2003 07:36 PM

My friends 15 year old brother got his 14 year old girlfriend preggie and she died in childbirth with the baby. After this he killed himself. I found that justifiable.

spectre 07-16-2003 08:03 PM

I've mentioned before that there was a point in my life where I was on an extremely high dose of morphine while hospitalized. The morphine was (obviously) for an extreme amount of pain that I was in. During that period, the doctors didn't think there would be much of a chance of survival. During that point, when I knew I was going to die in a horribly drawn out and painful manner, the thought of suicide did enter my mind. Luckily, I didn't want to act on it. Before and after, I didn't want to do it, but the thought during that time was there.

After all of that, I still agree with the idea of assisted suicide. I know what it's like to sit in pain, knowing that my last moments would only be pain. I didn't like that thought much even though I would never had acted on it, even given the opportunity.

anti fishstick 07-16-2003 08:32 PM

i only said it's an easy way out because life IS hard. killing yourself as the solution to it would be the easiest thing to do. why not think about your situation, how you could change it positively, and act on that? sure, it'll be hard as hell and won't change overnight, but what have you got to lose, really. if life works against you, learn to make it work for you. with confidence and action comes freedom.

Sen 07-16-2003 08:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by firefly
what if your choice is between suicide and being tortured to death, like if you are captured as a POW by fighters known to torture soldiers they capture?
While I can certainly understand why a person would want to commit suicide in that situation and certainly wouldn't fault someone for choosing suicide, I personally would not think it's justified. I think that suicide as an escape from great physical or mental pain is not the answer. Pain is temporary and can be tolerated or dealt with on some level.

Sleepyjack 07-16-2003 11:50 PM

i think suicide or euthanasia is justified. However, i can't really comment on the other because i have never experienced such emotional pain and torment such that i'd consider doing that. That said, i have been mildly effected by some suicides and i do think it is a little selfish (no pun) in that everyone who cares about you suffers because of you. But that might be unreasonable to some... i dunno.

cheerios 07-17-2003 12:37 AM

ah, but sleepyjack, what if that's part of the revenge? "You people have hurt me all my life, and now, in escaping the misery, i can get something back."

The only thing more painful than feeling like you need to commit suicide, is failing. Failed suicides are NOT "cries for help." At least, not in my opinion. Failed suicides are a way of life telling you you're a failure, even at failing. Hell, not getting the guts up enough to do it is just one more kick in the ass as well. (gee, can we tell cheers had some probs when she was younger? ;) )

SiN 07-17-2003 12:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by carl0z
My friends 15 year old brother got his 14 year old girlfriend preggie and she died in childbirth with the baby. After this he killed himself. I found that justifiable.
how so?

i don't understand..

because he would've had to live with his 'mistake' (of having unprotected sex at such a young age and her actually going thru the pregnancy..just to die at the end of it..) all his life..

or because of the 'oh no, woe is he, young love, so perfect, that was lost'...

or, what?

i am sorry if i'm missing something here, but i just don't get it.

:confused:

cheerios 07-17-2003 02:25 AM

because he caused the death of one he loved?

Fallon 07-17-2003 07:07 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sen
Pain is temporary and can be tolerated or dealt with on some level.
I don't believe that, no I don't believe that at all. So, like someone said above, "because an animal is probably feeling pain, we can put it down" but someone who is feeling pain doesn't morally have that choice?
I have to agree with Cheerios, it might have been done to get back at some of the people. I know I'm not totally right in the head, but I've said to myself, "If I kill myself now, they'll feel like shit because they are the one that caused me to do it." I haven't been like that for a year, but I do remember distinctly having those feelings.
Quote:

Originall posted by carl0z
My friends 15 year old brother got his 14 year old girlfriend preggie and she died in childbirth with the baby. After this he killed himself. I found that justifiable.
I'm hesitant to say that this is justified. Like I said earlier, I have empathy to this situation. I can't say I understand it, but I can feel for this persons loss. Unless we personally have been thrown in this situation, I don't really think we have a right to comment on if it's justified or not. We can take from this others experience and hopefully use it to help us along...

edit: fixed my improper word usage

Sleepyjack 07-17-2003 08:21 AM

Quote:

Fallon said
I have apathy to this situation
do you mean empathy?

cause i thought it was truly saddening (the story)....

although i agree with what else you have said. Fortunatly i haven't suffered any kind of torment, scuh that i'd consider ending my life, so i have no experience to comment on suicide, cause i have only seen it from one side.
But the least we can do is to try and be empathetic with everyone, and not just with suicide, but with everything that people do in life.

Fallon 07-17-2003 09:23 AM

Ya, sorry, I got my words confused and my brain was running in a different direction

spectre 07-17-2003 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Sen
Pain is temporary and can be tolerated or dealt with on some level.
Not all pain. The pain I talked about, morphine couldn't touch. It's not that uncommon in some conditions that the heaviest available pain killers will do little or nothing to help ease the pain.

Sen 07-17-2003 01:58 PM

Perhaps my choice in words was a poor one. I understand that there is some pain that cannot be helped by pain killers. I, for one, get very little relief from morphine as well. And I also understand that there are some conditions that will cause physical pain until you die.

I was thinking more along the lines of there being ways to "deal" with pain. Not that it goes away, or even that it isn't still a distraction. But, I have known several people that were/are terminally ill and in a great deal of pain, but can manage the pain because they understand that there are still reasons to live and they can still make an impact on this world.

I think if people commit suicide because physical existence is uncomfortable, they would be doing a diservice to themselves on a supernatural/metaphysical level (because life still has experiences left for them) and definitely a disservice to those around them who care for them.

Whether or not you believe in an afterlife or religion in general, it is undeniable that your actions, and therefore your existence has some immeasureable effect on those around you. Whether they are loved ones, or people in a position to observe from a distance, i.e. other medical staff who may be inspired by your determination to continue to fight your condition, there are people in this world that you will impact and never even know it.

ARTelevision 07-17-2003 04:20 PM

I don't see the need to parse it or rationalize it.
If a person isn't in charge of his or her own life, who is?
I'd say the valid reasons for suicide are personal, period.

Xell101 07-17-2003 05:16 PM

Astronauts and Special Ops come to mind.

Other than when drastic measure need to be undertaken, I am opposed to suicide, seems like a waste of life and a quite permanent solution to a temporary problem.

WhoaitsZ 07-17-2003 05:18 PM

quote:Originally posted by Sen
Pain is temporary and can be tolerated or dealt with on some level.


uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh.. no

when you're a 17 year old guy in so much pain after heavy doses of morphine or demerol that you cry tears from pain because you turn your fucking head wrong is NOT just a 'gee it'll be over tomorrow'

i understand that some people cannot grasp true physical pain. its ok. i hope you never have that pain. but never be so cocky or knowing that its just not possible or that bad.

walk the walk before talking the talk dude.

jack_j 07-17-2003 05:43 PM

i don't see how people can comment on morals... i mean they are different for everyone so i would understand if people sat down and discussed "i think it would be ok if *I* did this... or that"... but talking about what other people should and shouldn't do is pretty pointless... ofcourse this is only true with things that are causing no harm to other people... i mean my choice is what i choose to do, and if i'm causing no harm it shouldn't bother you...

ofcourse there are many people who will argue that suicide is causing harm to the people who care about you... however then they are just being selfish because if you really want to die - then they should respect that wish and be happy for you... besides i think people are too emotionally attatched to things to begin with....

anyways i'm not suicidal at all... i love every day i live (almost)... but i don't see how one person should be able to sit down and say whats moral for someones desicion that doesn't concern them...

anti fishstick 07-17-2003 06:04 PM

i dont think any one should feel, or does feel, HAPPY that someone would choose to commit suicide.

jack_j 07-17-2003 06:11 PM

if someone accomplishes a goal that they want - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, i'm happy

jack_j 07-17-2003 06:12 PM

and i don't mean happy as in enthuisiastic like "hey lets throw a party..." i just mean content with the way things are...

mrquackers 07-17-2003 06:32 PM

I'd have to give it serious thought if I was diagnosed with Alzheimers. I'd hate to be a burden on my loved ones like that.

Slims 07-17-2003 09:00 PM

I say you can off yourself if you have become a legitimate burden to everyone around you and society in general, or if you are in the last stages of a terminal illness.

Short of that, you have an obligation to live, even if you don't want to. Your parents/guardians and society have a huge investment in you, and you owe them.

I have been suicidal before, and I know how easy it is to into that kind of funk for no good reason, and how easy it is to get out after you get your head screwed on straight. I have been more or less happy for many years now, and even when I feel down, I don't think about suicide anymore.

That, I think, is where the tragedy of suicide lays. I feel like many people who kill themselves do so prematurely when they woulod have turned the corner in a few days or weeks and realized the value of their lives.

Sen 07-17-2003 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by WhoaitsZ
quote:Originally posted by Sen

...i understand that some people cannot grasp true physical pain. its ok. i hope you never have that pain. but never be so cocky or knowing that its just not possible or that bad.

walk the walk before talking the talk dude.

I am not in any way claiming to understand whatever you went through, nor am I in any way trying to diminish your pain. However, it is equally cocky for you to assume that I don't understand tremendous physical pain.

I have a post over in the Sports section of this site in a thread about "your worst sports moment" in which I detail that I BROKE MY OWN ARM THROWING A FASTBALL IN A GAME. The humerous literally shattered because of the torque and amount of force that I put on my arm throwing a baseball. After 2 reconstructive surgeries, plates and screws, radial nerve damage and 2 years of physical therapy, I believe that I have a pretty firm grasp on pain. Furthermore, I mentioned in an earlier post on this thread that Morphine doesn't do any good for me, either.

Pain doesn't have to go away "tomorrow," as you stated, to be temporary. I still don't think taking your own life is the answer.

XenuHubbard 07-17-2003 09:15 PM

I'd say that the reason for committing suicide is irrellevant. The prerequisite would be to be absolutely sure that there's nobody left behind that would miss you, or be affected by your death.

Suicide as revenge is about as low as anybody can go.

And seriously, if I ever would find it an option, I would go and rob a bank first. Suicide works in both prison, and a five-star hotel in the Riviera. So why not take the chance?
And once I'd get to the Riviera, I might not want to die anymore.


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