Owner of a lonely heart is better than - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Nepenthes · 11-16-2010, 07:33 PM

To re-word a quote from the lyrics of Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart" song:

An owner of a lonely heart is better off than the owner of a broken heart.
I see a person with a lonely heart has a chance to improve their situation and has a more neutral situation compared to those with a broken heart. A person with a broken heart feels more pain as it is can be like a wound than cannot completely heal.

This is in contrast to "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all."

Which do you find is generally more true?

A few related observations are:

I find a theme of "Ignorance is bliss" in the lonely heart.
I think that "Time heals all wounds" is false.

amonkie · 11-16-2010, 10:11 PM

My favorite quote along these lines is probably "out of the darkest of nights, always comes the brightest days"

Pain is educational. It gives you a point of reference you didn't have before.

fresnelly · 11-17-2010, 06:40 AM

The trick is not to get addicted to the high of being lonely or broken-hearted.

That's right. I said "high".

Not to make light of real depression and misery but there's a state of wallow (familial to the quantum "Does she like me or does she not?" Zone) that can be addicting.

If you live a dull life, (sleep, eat, work, sleep...) broken heartedness and loneliness can add some comforting drama and story that's safer than actually pursuing another mate or forgetting a past one that defined you.

Moving on means a clean slate but also a lack of boundary and anchor. Uncharted Territory in other words that is a lot less comfortable than a warm bed with the shades drawn and Ron Sexsmith on the stereo.

jewels · 11-17-2010, 06:57 AM

Totally disagree.

'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all

- Lord ALfred Tennyson

I've never regretted a relationship that has given me such joy, no matter how brief the moment. There may have been one that has left my heart unhealed, but a small wound was so worth the time we had.

Some are never fortunate enough to know that level of passion. I would welcome it again with arms wide open.

L_Driver · 11-17-2010, 03:35 PM

I don't know which i would rather have. Broken hearts are no fun and I make pains not to let that happen again, but I don't think I would ever want a lonely heart.

I will go for former.

spindles · 11-17-2010, 03:54 PM

You learn from the bad things that happen, even the relationships that ended badly. People crave interactions with other people. Being lonely is bad. Note that Lonely is not the same as Alone. I like to spend time alone at times.

Charlatan · 11-17-2010, 04:04 PM

If you don't risk it all, what is the point? I am with Tennyson.

Zeraph · 11-21-2010, 07:31 PM

At least the broken heart guy got a chance. The lonely heart never even knew.

Plan9 · 11-21-2010, 08:35 PM

Use whatever experiences you have to shape your interactions with others in a positive way and avoid falling into the hurt or be hurt mentality.

ASU2003 · 11-22-2010, 09:12 PM

As a lonely person, I don't really feel emotionally damaged. Things could be worse, and I would not be able to handle some situations (accidental death of girlfriend, catching her cheating, etc...)

Plan9 · 11-22-2010, 09:27 PM

Lonely or alone?

ZombieSquirrel · 11-22-2010, 10:38 PM

My heart was broken by the loss of my parents at such an early age. I am glad that I had a warm heart to break. I couldn't imagine living a life where I wasn't loved by such awesome people. I feel sorry for those who do not have a close relationship with their parents. The absence of that love seems so lonely.

So in this case, it truly is better to have loved and loss than to have never have loved at all.

bagatelle · 12-02-2010, 08:36 AM

What would life be without love and losses?

It takes time to recover and this time for mourning needs to be spent, but I don't like people dwelling in this state of loneliness without handling the issues properly, if there's a chance.

I agree with fresnelly; one should not get high with the feeling. I have noticed some people may even use the loneliness (when been left) as a shield of sorts - the relationship ended ages ago, but they can't get over it and move on.

Some people yearn to experience the falling in love over and over again. They don't even take time to have a broken heart, they try to mend it with another experience asap.

11-16-2010, 07:33 PM	#1 (permalink)
Nepenthes Crazy Location: New England, USA	Owner of a lonely heart is better than To re-word a quote from the lyrics of Yes's "Owner of a Lonely Heart" song: An owner of a lonely heart is better off than the owner of a broken heart. I see a person with a lonely heart has a chance to improve their situation and has a more neutral situation compared to those with a broken heart. A person with a broken heart feels more pain as it is can be like a wound than cannot completely heal. This is in contrast to "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." Which do you find is generally more true? A few related observations are: I find a theme of "Ignorance is bliss" in the lonely heart. I think that "Time heals all wounds" is false.

11-16-2010, 10:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
amonkie Drifting Administrator Location: Windy City	My favorite quote along these lines is probably "out of the darkest of nights, always comes the brightest days" Pain is educational. It gives you a point of reference you didn't have before. __________________ Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

11-17-2010, 06:40 AM	#3 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	The trick is not to get addicted to the high of being lonely or broken-hearted. That's right. I said "high". Not to make light of real depression and misery but there's a state of wallow (familial to the quantum "Does she like me or does she not?" Zone) that can be addicting. If you live a dull life, (sleep, eat, work, sleep...) broken heartedness and loneliness can add some comforting drama and story that's safer than actually pursuing another mate or forgetting a past one that defined you. Moving on means a clean slate but also a lack of boundary and anchor. Uncharted Territory in other words that is a lot less comfortable than a warm bed with the shades drawn and Ron Sexsmith on the stereo. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

11-17-2010, 06:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
jewels Eponymous Location: Central Central Florida	Totally disagree. 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all - Lord ALfred Tennyson I've never regretted a relationship that has given me such joy, no matter how brief the moment. There may have been one that has left my heart unhealed, but a small wound was so worth the time we had. Some are never fortunate enough to know that level of passion. I would welcome it again with arms wide open. __________________ We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess. Mark Twain

11-17-2010, 03:54 PM	#6 (permalink)
spindles Mine is an evil laugh Location: Sydney, Australia	You learn from the bad things that happen, even the relationships that ended badly. People crave interactions with other people. Being lonely is bad. Note that Lonely is not the same as Alone. I like to spend time alone at times. __________________ who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

11-17-2010, 03:35 PM	#5 (permalink)
L_Driver Upright Location: Washington, DC	I don't know which i would rather have. Broken hearts are no fun and I make pains not to let that happen again, but I don't think I would ever want a lonely heart. I will go for former.

11-17-2010, 04:04 PM	#7 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	If you don't risk it all, what is the point? I am with Tennyson. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

11-21-2010, 07:31 PM	#8 (permalink)
Zeraph Banned Location: The Cosmos	At least the broken heart guy got a chance. The lonely heart never even knew.

11-21-2010, 08:35 PM	#9 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Use whatever experiences you have to shape your interactions with others in a positive way and avoid falling into the hurt or be hurt mentality. __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake." Last edited by Plan9; 11-21-2010 at 08:37 PM..

11-22-2010, 09:12 PM	#10 (permalink)
ASU2003 immoral minority Location: Back in Ohio	As a lonely person, I don't really feel emotionally damaged. Things could be worse, and I would not be able to handle some situations (accidental death of girlfriend, catching her cheating, etc...)

11-22-2010, 09:27 PM	#11 (permalink)
Plan9 I Confess a Shiver	Lonely or alone? __________________ *Whatever you can carry.* "You should not drink... and bake."

12-02-2010, 08:36 AM	#13 (permalink)
bagatelle Psycho Location: Europe	What would life be without love and losses? It takes time to recover and this time for mourning needs to be spent, but I don't like people dwelling in this state of loneliness without handling the issues properly, if there's a chance. I agree with fresnelly; one should not get high with the feeling. I have noticed some people may even use the loneliness (when been left) as a shield of sorts - the relationship ended ages ago, but they can't get over it and move on. Some people yearn to experience the falling in love over and over again. They don't even take time to have a broken heart, they try to mend it with another experience asap.