girldetective

My friend J has insisted I read the book Talking Back to Prozac by Peter Breggin, MD (1994, St Martin's Press). While doing so I came across this passage that I believe speaks volumes.

I deduced this was true a long time ago, and I have never before found such a simple single explanation for what I believe is the cause of most of the world's ills. As Ive said before I raised my children with this in mind and it was easy to do because as a parent I had such influence. My question is how does one, or even can one, teach empathy to an adult?

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

jewels

Interesting question. I've often been accused of being empathic.

I tend to think only the intellectual concept of empathy can be taught.

Emotional empathy, in my experience, is either there or it's not. It's a genuine reading or connection that some of us are either born with or developed rather young. I believe it can be cultivated, in early childhood, but I don't think there's much you can do to change one's core thinking as an adult, other than allowing them to gain further intellectual empathy. I think lots of reading or any means of exposure to situations other than those lived, would be conducive to developing this type of empathy.

I'd be interested to know what others think, too.

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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain

inBOIL

My personal experience is that emotional empathy can be turned on or off at will, depending on how you choose to view the situation. Perhaps there are people who simply haven't learned to turn it on. While I don't know if emotional empathy can be taught, I think there are many people who have the ability and have not learned to use it. It lays dormant in them, and it can be awakened through teaching the intellectual concept of empathy.

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And you believe Bush and the liberals and divorced parents and gays and blacks and the Christian right and fossil fuels and Xbox are all to blame, meanwhile you yourselves create an ad where your kid hits you in the head with a baseball and you don't understand the message that the problem is you.

girldetective

My thought was teaching by example while discussing the overall benefit/effect of why one might be doing it - to empathsize. But, sometimes it seems as though some adults are rather set in their ways and dont look too far outside their window.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

n0nsensical

I believe most everyone has the same capacity for empathy, its just a matter of unlocking the door so to speak, THAT is easier for some people. Its a difficult question even for the best neurologists to answer because emotions are basically a black box at this point, we can mess with the inputs and get some sort of other result, but just making a different kind of box to study is very challenging and we don't know how it works. Neurology research is still in the basic phase with things like vision and hearing that are easier to quantify than emotions. Don't want to get too far into the hardcore neurology (though if anyone is interested or has any further resources on that, do let me know) but its very fascinating to me.

I would guess the neurological basis is there in everyones DNA but the environment can affect the ability to express it. Some people have in fact learned to suppress it, that's a major symptom of PTSD. PTSD often involves a violation of trust from the outside world, thus the learned behavior is not to trust it, not to connect, the foundation of empathy. With some forms of PTSD, you can't even connect with or trust yourself, everything else seems especially distant. Empathy can be a very personal emotion, basically the understanding of yourself, its not necessarily external. That combination of empathy and self-awareness is very human.

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abaya

I have a weird capacity for empathy. I very rarely feel anything powerful when people close to me are going through something (I tend to take the "tough love" approach, or to be the strong/silent type to get the person through a crisis), but I am often VERY deeply moved by articles, and especially pictures, of anonymous strangers in the news.

The latest occurrence happened this morning while I was looking at news photos from the earthquake in China, and I nearly started crying. Whenever this happens, it's because I put myself directly into the person's shoes (in the article or photo) and start wondering what they could possibly be feeling in that instant, what kind of waves of grief must be washing through them, and I try to feel them in some way, myself. And then I feel very helpless because I cannot actually do anything to help those people, other than empathize with them, which doesn't amount to a lot of practical outreach.

It's just weird. This has been going on for several years, with me. I empathize more easily with strangers than I do with the people closest to me. I don't know what kind of psychological things go into that, but that's how it is.

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And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Nimetic

In my limited personal experience - I reckon I have more empathy when I am in or have been recently working in jobs involving people... particularly sick, old or disabled people. I'm thinking volunteer or carer work here.

I think it's necessary to see people in situations which are not of their making.

Hain

Folks, I don't know if we are getting carried away on the extent of empathy. Empathy is nothing more than thinking to yourself, "If I were in that situation, how would I feel?"

Children can be taught this from an early age by their parents. Everything is a chore and everything is overwhelming, so children can understand what the other hates and likes.

It would be fairly hard for an adult to be retaught how to think to be empathetic. How often do those required "understanding harassment" seminars required for work actually do anything- other than reiterate the consequences of harassment?

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girldetective

But dont you think there must be a simple way skewing someone's thinking toward the empathetic? I come back to this same subject from different angles/words all the time - how does one make their neighbor see that by helping one or a group to prosper, that they in turn prosper? I think it may be the way to go in teaching empathy - answer the selfish, what-do-I-get-out-of-it question and the person will see the light. Show them, let them experience it. Or wait minute - is it that peace or prosperity isnt enough? Do people continually have problems because they want them?

Edit: I like this question of problems and I think Ill start a thread in the phi forum. So anyway, back to empathy.

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As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons...be cheerful; strive for happiness - Desiderata

Seer666

Have someone follow a person around. Every time that persons sees someone in some sort of dire straights, the follower punches them in the back of the head. Make them literally feel the pain of others.

Really though, I'm not sure if you can. It's not that some people can't empathize, it's that they don't want to. Short of a massive trauma or life altering experience, some people will never change.

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