Son is afraid of dogs...advice needed. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Grasshopper Green · 03-15-2007, 04:27 PM

My 5 year old son is afraid of dogs, and I'm scared it's something I've passed on to him by accident. I have a lifelong phobia of dogs; at best I tolerate them (mostly dogs I'm familiar with) and at worst (strange/large dogs) they scare the crap out of me. Hubby thinks I've unconsciously passed this onto my son by "protecting" him when we were around strange dogs when he was younger. He's now afraid of all dogs, even though when we meet one on the street I tell him it's nice and won't hurt him. Any advice?

Lizra · 03-15-2007, 05:11 PM

It could be slightly genetic.....since you are that way.......if you know someone with a sweet, gentle dog....go for a visit.

5 is a fearful age.....

Lucifer · 03-15-2007, 06:26 PM

and if he is, then what's the problem? I'm scared of dogs and I'm 40. Doesn't bother me any, hasn't hindered my career prospects or relationships. Just means that I give most dogs a wide berth when passing. And you know what? Never been attacked by a pitbull! Never going to be!

Deltona Couple · 03-16-2007, 04:06 AM

My daughter was affreaid of dogs for a long time. I helped her get out of it by letting her associate with SMALL puppies and slowly built her up to larger dogs. now she loves them all! Even my 185 lb Rotweiller! It is like any phobia...take baby steps, and eventually you will overcome it. Maybe take a trip to the local animal shelter? or find someone that is a friend that has puppies or a small dog that is gentle?

f6twister · 03-16-2007, 06:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Medusa

Hubby thinks I've unconsciously passed this onto my son by "protecting" him when we were around strange dogs when he was younger. He's now afraid of all dogs, even though when we meet one on the street I tell him it's nice and won't hurt him.

Same thing happened with my wife and our son. She is allergic to bees and has an overall phobia of all insects. After a few run and hide from the bug incidents, my son started doing the same thing (even when he saw an ant). I started keeping him with me if an insect came around and showed him that they were harmless if treated nicely.

Regarding the dog issue, I was fine with them until I was 7 y/o and my uncle's German Shepard/Doberman mix bit me in the face at a family reunion. A trip to the hospital and 5 stitches later, I was afraid of dogs. My fear subsided over the next 15 years after interacting with my friend's dogs and realizing that they weren't all out to tear my face off.

I think Deltona has the right idea. Maybe start with visiting a pet store where they have puppies. Let him watch them play and if he is up to it, interact with them. Once he seems comfortable with puppies and smaller dogs, work your way up in size.

pig · 03-16-2007, 07:20 AM

medusa, perhaps you could both confront your phobia together? its tough for me to say, as i love the shit out of animals. but if you think you passed on your phobia to him, perhaps you could dephobatize him by example as well. remember that dogs pick up on your body language.

vanblah · 03-16-2007, 01:02 PM

Until recently we had a medium-sized dog. My daughter was reticent around her at her best. She liked her, but wouldn't really like to be near her. However, she's afraid of large dogs and neither my wife nor I are afraid of dogs.

I think it has to do with the fact that large dogs are HUGE compared to little kids (5-years-old). I mean would you be comfortable around a dog that could look you in the eye? Or knock you down (even by accident).

Also, a wagging tail to the face is pretty painful. My daughter hated that about Lillie. Those things can hurt when they're really excited.

Grasshopper Green · 03-16-2007, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pigglet

medusa, perhaps you could both confront your phobia together? its tough for me to say, as i love the shit out of animals. but if you think you passed on your phobia to him, perhaps you could dephobatize him by example as well. remember that dogs pick up on your body language.

Actually, I've gotten much better over the years. Up until about 10 years ago, just seeing ANY dog sent me into fullblown panic. Hubby has really helped me calm down as far as dogs are concerned, because he is a dog lover and basically made me be around them. Now, if a dog is on a leash, is fairly small, or is one I'm familiar and comfortable with, I'm ok. It's mostly large dogs or certain breeds that bother me now.

I think having him spend some time with puppies is probably a good idea. We ran into a pair of daschsunds on the street yesterday and he was scared of them, but they were also out of control and barking like crazy. Perhaps a docile breed of puppy would be a good place to start.

Thanks for the replies so far!

analog · 03-16-2007, 08:37 PM

Kids take their cues from their parents' behavior. You shouldn't "blame" yourself, since it's not like you did it on purpose- just be aware that it's most likely why he shares your fear for them.

Nimetic · 03-20-2007, 02:21 AM

Man... dogs are big when you are five. I was scared of them at that age too.

Best thing is maybe to wait a while. Apart from that, maybe let him play with older quieter dogs - eg where you pat it together (the adult going first of course).

I reckon a quiet peaceful labrador or something like that... ?

sapiens · 03-20-2007, 08:20 AM

Depending on how afraid your son is of dogs, you may want to wait awhile before actually letting him interact with dogs.

You might start out by talking about dogs occasionally, how they help people, how some people work with them, how they keep people company, how they visit people in hospitals, etc.

You might want to have him watch a movie or two about dogs (lassie, benji, incredible journey, 101 Dalmations, etc.).

Then, you might have him imagine himself playing with dogs: what would it be like, Teach him about how he should interact with dogs, how you should always ask the owner before approaching a dog, how to present your hands, how to turn away from a friendly dog that jumps up on him, etc. Knowing how to properly interact with dogs might reduce his anxiety.

Then, you might take him to a dog park and let him watch dogs play from a distance.

Then, you should find somebody who has a VERY well-behaved dog, (perhaps to the level of a therapy dog) and teach him how to pet a dog.

At each step, you should encourage him to be calm and in control.
Generally, start out with the most distant interaction with the concept of a dog and gradually move to interacting with the dog itself.

roulette · 03-22-2007, 06:31 AM

I have a "fear" of dogs that I don't know also. There is a show called the dog whisperer I think on the discovery channel (or tlc I can't remember right now) that gives a lot of tips of how to handle dogs (mainly your own, but can be used with other dogs too). Since I have watched the show, I am not as fearful as I used to be. Maybe if you watched it a few times, you will learn a bit about how to handle dogs and then you son will learn from you by watching how you react the next few times you are around dogs.

03-15-2007, 04:27 PM	#1 (permalink)
Grasshopper Green ...is a comical chap Location: Where morons reign supreme	Son is afraid of dogs...advice needed. My 5 year old son is afraid of dogs, and I'm scared it's something I've passed on to him by accident. I have a lifelong phobia of dogs; at best I tolerate them (mostly dogs I'm familiar with) and at worst (strange/large dogs) they scare the crap out of me. Hubby thinks I've unconsciously passed this onto my son by "protecting" him when we were around strange dogs when he was younger. He's now afraid of all dogs, even though when we meet one on the street I tell him it's nice and won't hurt him. Any advice? __________________ "They say that patriotism is the last refuge to which a scoundrel clings; steal a little and they throw you in jail, steal a lot and they make you king" Formerly Medusa Last edited by Grasshopper Green; 03-15-2007 at 05:15 PM..

03-15-2007, 05:11 PM	#2 (permalink)
Lizra Insane Location: rural Indiana	It could be slightly genetic.....since you are that way.......if you know someone with a sweet, gentle dog....go for a visit. 5 is a fearful age..... __________________ Happy atheist

03-15-2007, 06:26 PM	#3 (permalink)
Lucifer Husband of Seamaiden Location: Nova Scotia	and if he is, then what's the problem? I'm scared of dogs and I'm 40. Doesn't bother me any, hasn't hindered my career prospects or relationships. Just means that I give most dogs a wide berth when passing. And you know what? Never been attacked by a pitbull! Never going to be! __________________ I am a brother to dragons, and a companion to owls. - Job 30:29 1123, 6536, 5321

03-16-2007, 04:06 AM	#4 (permalink)
Deltona Couple Addict Location: Spring, Texas	My daughter was affreaid of dogs for a long time. I helped her get out of it by letting her associate with SMALL puppies and slowly built her up to larger dogs. now she loves them all! Even my 185 lb Rotweiller! It is like any phobia...take baby steps, and eventually you will overcome it. Maybe take a trip to the local animal shelter? or find someone that is a friend that has puppies or a small dog that is gentle? __________________ "It is not that I have failed, but that I have found 10,000 ways that it DOESN'T work!" --Thomas Edison

03-16-2007, 07:20 AM	#6 (permalink)
pig pigglet pigglet Location: Locash	medusa, perhaps you could both confront your phobia together? its tough for me to say, as i love the shit out of animals. but if you think you passed on your phobia to him, perhaps you could dephobatize him by example as well. remember that dogs pick up on your body language. __________________ You don't love me, you just love my piggy style

03-16-2007, 01:02 PM	#7 (permalink)
vanblah Junkie	Until recently we had a medium-sized dog. My daughter was reticent around her at her best. She liked her, but wouldn't really like to be near her. However, she's afraid of large dogs and neither my wife nor I are afraid of dogs. I think it has to do with the fact that large dogs are HUGE compared to little kids (5-years-old). I mean would you be comfortable around a dog that could look you in the eye? Or knock you down (even by accident). Also, a wagging tail to the face is pretty painful. My daughter hated that about Lillie. Those things can hurt when they're really excited.

03-16-2007, 08:37 PM	#9 (permalink)
analog Banned	Kids take their cues from their parents' behavior. You shouldn't "blame" yourself, since it's not like you did it on purpose- just be aware that it's most likely why he shares your fear for them.

03-20-2007, 02:21 AM	#10 (permalink)
Nimetic Junkie Location: Melbourne, Australia	Man... dogs are big when you are five. I was scared of them at that age too. Best thing is maybe to wait a while. Apart from that, maybe let him play with older quieter dogs - eg where you pat it together (the adult going first of course). I reckon a quiet peaceful labrador or something like that... ?

03-20-2007, 08:20 AM	#11 (permalink)
sapiens Junkie Location: Some place windy	Depending on how afraid your son is of dogs, you may want to wait awhile before actually letting him interact with dogs. You might start out by talking about dogs occasionally, how they help people, how some people work with them, how they keep people company, how they visit people in hospitals, etc. You might want to have him watch a movie or two about dogs (lassie, benji, incredible journey, 101 Dalmations, etc.). Then, you might have him imagine himself playing with dogs: what would it be like, Teach him about how he should interact with dogs, how you should always ask the owner before approaching a dog, how to present your hands, how to turn away from a friendly dog that jumps up on him, etc. Knowing how to properly interact with dogs might reduce his anxiety. Then, you might take him to a dog park and let him watch dogs play from a distance. Then, you should find somebody who has a VERY well-behaved dog, (perhaps to the level of a therapy dog) and teach him how to pet a dog. At each step, you should encourage him to be calm and in control. Generally, start out with the most distant interaction with the concept of a dog and gradually move to interacting with the dog itself.

03-22-2007, 06:31 AM	#12 (permalink)
roulette Upright	I have a "fear" of dogs that I don't know also. There is a show called the dog whisperer I think on the discovery channel (or tlc I can't remember right now) that gives a lot of tips of how to handle dogs (mainly your own, but can be used with other dogs too). Since I have watched the show, I am not as fearful as I used to be. Maybe if you watched it a few times, you will learn a bit about how to handle dogs and then you son will learn from you by watching how you react the next few times you are around dogs.