lindalove

http://www.evgschool.org/prompt_kid_on_leash.jpg <- An example

The first time I saw it, I thought it was demeaning, but then I realized it's quite practical. A little kid probably isn't going to think about it too much, and the parent probably doesn't use one because they want to equate their child with an animal. It's a way of keeping your child close, and not everyone has the benefit of never taking their kid along with them when they need to do errands/go shopping/whatever.

I was in the big mall here once and saw a three-year-old wander out of a store. I kept my eye on him, because you could tell he was just waiting for Mom to realize he was gone before taking off. He was coming toward me, so I just kept walking toward him. Sure enough, as soon as Mom comes out of the store and calls his name, he shoots off, full speed running. She never would have caught him. I stopped him with a smile and an outstretched hand, just a friendly thing, he came right to me. Had I been a predator, who knows what could have happened to this kid? Walked him back to Mom, who was crying and running toward us down the long hall. She just kept saying she couldn't stop him from wandering off, and how thankful she was I that I was nice enough to grab him, and whatnot. That kid could have used a leash, and he wasn't a 'wild' kid or out of control. He was testing boundaries. He was calm and exploring.

What does everyone else think about child leashes and the parents who use them?

ngdawg

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Mephisto2

I don't like leashes.

But then images of Jamie Bolger and Sofia Rodrigez-Urrutia-Shu come to mind mind and I freak out.

I don't want her to grow up...


Mr Mephisto

lindalove

I saw that thread when I did a search and I assumed it was discussing lojackiing your child, not the leash, which is different imo.

analog

I think this is different enough so that the other thread doesn't have to contain both subjects. Either way, this is a Parenting thread.

Psycho Dad

Growing up my parents taught me to behave in public without a leash and the dog was on one when he went out other than times when there were wide open areas for him to play in. I raised three boys and a Hungarian Vizsla the same way.

While I realize that there are people who have dogs who are better behaved in the mall than some people's kids, I felt it better to direct my resources at making children understand proper public behavior than my dog.

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Charlatan

The last time we had this debate, a few years back, I was very much against leashing your kids. I believe I agrued that it represented a failure to properly parent your children and to some extent I still stand by that...

However, I am willing to temper that somewhat. At the time, I had raised my son, who was an angel. Since then I have had a baby girl who is not so much the angel. She is a wee terror. She had no fear of leaving us and wandering off by herself (whether in curiosity or anger). I now know what it's like to have a wandering child.

That said, I still refused to leash her. It meant I had to pay more attention and do a lot more chasing and steering but that was the price to pay for having a kid.

I can see how some, growing exasperated look for the easier solution. I can truly appreciate how overwhelming it can be. So I will temper my former position by saying that a wrist teather (i.e. an extention of held hands) seems reasonable when you are in a croweded are and run the risk of losing your child to the crowd.

I still can't agree that those body harness leashes are a sound idea.


Further to this, here is a story from yesterday's Toronto Star. Yes the little girl is six and older than most who would be force to wear a leash, but I think it could just as easily have been a younger child. A very sad story to be sure...

LINK

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rockogre

This thread kind of leaped out at me. My mom had a leash for me when I was a child. I'm supprised that she didn't have a muzzle, a choke chain, and a taser. It hooked to a little harness I wore. I don't really think that it affected me overly much in any mental sense. It probably kept me alive, truth be told.

It just looks like common sense to me, especially considering what passes for civilization today. Equating it with treating children like an animal is just reaching for yet another PC thing to whine about.

I still tease my mom about it, and accuse her of just hooking my leash to the clothes line out back and leaving me out there to run up and down the line. She swears that never happened.

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Elphaba

I was leashed as well. I was easily attracted to any curiosity and slipped away from my mom once into the street. My 19-month granddaughter is already capable of a full speed run. Anything a parent can do to keep their little ones safe is fine with me.

Bill O'Rights

Perhaps you could enlighten, or refresh the fuzzy memories of, those members that may have no idea just how long long ago that was? We're talking Eocene Epic here, folks.

Seriously...these leash thingys have been around forever. Perhaps it's because there has always been the child that needed his/her boundaries enforced a little more vigorously than some others.

I, too, have given serious thought to their application. My 3 year old has a nasty little habit of trying to break his hand out of mine, and run free in the parking lot. He doesn't do it often enough to warrant the purchase of the restraint in question...but often enough that I worry that one day he'll actually break loose and tear into the path of one of the Parking Lot 500 contestants.

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rockogre

This would have been back in the days of black and white. The entire world was in black and white as color had not been invented yet. I rode my dinosaur to school each day and did my homework by the light of burning dinosaur dung.

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ShaniFaye

I'll admit there were certain times I used one on Amanda...like being at the airport, or a fall festival....REALLY crowded places, not for things like going to the grocery store or K mart (she was always in the buggy at places like that).

I guess with living in the "adam walsh" era, it made me feel a little safer when we were at non stroller friendly or buggy available place.

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ngdawg

I started with these belts that Safety First made-they were quilted things that looked like chastity belts and had those plastic pinch hooks that one end you'd put on your beltloop and the other to their belt. The strap extended to 8 ft and could be also used in shopping carts (it adjusted down to 3ft or so, you just wrapped it around the cart seat and hooked it). Those I used when they first started walking. I gave them as shower gifts and the moms loved them.
When they outgrew their stroller, I started using the wrist tethers. Most here talk about their one child; I had twins-it's virtually impossible to go anywhere and do anything when you have to hold two hands and when you're tall and they're knee-high, it's an added detriment. (Sometimes I could use the stroller and have my son hold onto it as his sister rode,since she was smaller, but that didn't happen often).
My mom had me on a harness, but got one 'dog' comment and tossed it. I got quite a few 'stinging' remarks ranging from how bad my kids must be to the 'they're not pets', but I got more encouraging ones and compliments about how well behaved my kids were.
Trust me, even if YOU think your child's an absolute angel, the second you have to call out 'come back here!' as he/she starts taking off, eyes will start rolling and whisperings about your control skills WILL happen. Your back gets tired holding hands or carrying 40 lbs around, your errand takes twice as long and everyone's tired and in a rotten mood. Well, except me....

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Elphaba

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Grasshopper Green

I have never leashed my son, although I strongly considered it before our trip to Disneyland this summer. I have no problems with people who do, and I can understand where they are coming from...it's just not something that I've had to do.

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raeanna74

To be honest, my daughter wanted the harness much more than the wrist band. She hated when I used the wrist cuff even though it was simpler and faster to put on her. She disliked it because it restrained one of her hands somewhat but with the harness, both of her hands were free. Also I think the chest harness was more comfortable. At least it's not a collar...

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Demeter

I harnessed my son, but it wasn't that effective. A kid with a rope atatched can do some damage in a store!
My son was (still is) parent-deaf, and would never heed cries of no! Stop! A truck! or what have you. The bugger just liked to run.
I never had that trouble with my daughter. Different kids call for different tactics I guess.

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pocon1

nothing to say

Lady Sage

In a society where parents are afraid to discipline their children for fear of having them taken away I am all for doing what you gotta do to keep psychopaths from stealin yer babies. Or from having said children get hit by vans.

I would much rather see a child on a leash than have them find the child in the bathroom of a walmart having its head shaved and being dressed in other clothing to be kidnapped.

As a child I was far too shy to wander away from the safety of my moms leg or hand. Todays kids are..... different.

Ch'i

It makes sense, seeing the trends in children's safety equipment.

So long natural selection! Have fun.

raeanna74

This isn't a new trend. They were more common (my mom says especially in the south) back in the 70's. Mom tells me that they faded out of 'style' when people because more aware of child abuse and people began interpreting the leashing as abuse.

Apparently leashes for children is more common in some European countries. Perhaps some of the TFPr's from those countries can pipe in on that. It was what I gathered from a British newscast where they interviewed some nannies.

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robot_parade

I've been very tempted to get a leash for the kids...but refrained. I don't have a problem with people who do, so long as they *don't* use it as a substitute for good parenting. When we take our kids to the mall (not very often), it is a chore, to be sure. They tend to want to run around, and play, and shout, and...well...be kids. So we have to train them how they are supposed to act in the mall. That's, like...our job, or something.

snowy

My brother was leashed; I was not. Mom only used it in crowded places like Disneyland or the fair.

We turned out okay.

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Ustwo

You obviously made the statment tongue and cheek but doing something like leashing your child is what natural selection is all about.

Parents who care for the safety of their child will be more likely to have children who live into adulthood than the parents who don't. Provided there are no negative ramifications socially and these children can mate the same as the less protected children, you will see more of the protected childrens offspring in the following generation as a %.

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magictoy

Agreed. I support leashes in circumstances like one I witnessed--hyper kid, tried to take a header off a dock. Some people had been giving the parents glares, but their interest rapidly became concentrated elsewhere when it became apparent that the kid would have ended up in the ocean without that leash.

Ample

Never had to.

To this day my 5yo grabs my hand as soon as we walk out the front door, and gets mad if I don't hold it. I said I never had to, but my ex bought one for long time ago, but never used it.

My ex-brother-in-outlaw was roped, harnessed, and secured to the stereo, with only a six foot diagmeter area to roam. Thats pretty sad when you have to leash your own kid in your own house.

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