Ideas please? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

sillygirl · 07-11-2006, 06:17 PM

Okay, I'm due next week to have my first child. Since lately my blood pressure's been a bit high, they took me off of work about two weeks early and told me to 'take it easy'. For me, that means time to catch up on housework and finish a few things that I wanted to get done before having the baby.

They had me on total bedrest for a weekend before they took me off of work just to see if that would be enough to cool everything down. I went nuts. All I could do the whole time was sit and notice all the things that needed to be done... dishes, mop the floors, vacuum, laundry, etc etc etc.... I went OUT OF MY MIND.

Since I stopped working, I've felt a lot better and been able to do the 'domestic thing' and found that I've really liked it a lot, and my hunny likes that the house has been clean, laundry's been done, groceries are bought, and typically there's food ready or almost ready for him.

Yesterday I went in to the doc and I guess my BP was a little high again. I don't know why, I'd felt fine all day, and I wasn't told what it was,but I was basically put on bedrest that's not bedrest... ie, I can still get up and do a very small amount of things, but not my usual.. I'm supposed to 'sit and flip channels' all day. I can't do that....

So I'm asking anyone out there who has had to deal with this to help out, give ideas, advice, words of encouragement, anything to help. Today I worked on a cross stitch, but I don't see that keeping me busy or entertained for long. I can't sit still and not do anything all day, and I have serious issues with feeling like I'm not contributing to anything, since I don't get any paid maternity leave, so I feel like I'm just... leeching, I guess. And it doesn't help that everyone keeps either a) telling me that first babies never come on time or b ) asking if I've had the baby yet (mostly my SO's mother, who I told today to never ask me that question again). '

Come on ladies and gents, help a girl not go nuts? :-S

JustJess · 07-11-2006, 06:40 PM

Spend a lot of time on TFP?

I don't know, frankly. But I guess now is a good time to catch up on books and movies you haven't had time for til now. Besides, once the baby does finally arrive, you won't have time for any of that stuff! The only other thing I know people do for hours at a time (not booty) is to play video games. I couldn't stand that, but maybe you'll like it.

I know it must be very frustrating; but remember that you are doing a LOT of work just existing in a healthy state! And the most important thing is for you and that baby to stay healthy... so develop that gaming habit, missy.

Willravel · 07-11-2006, 06:49 PM

My wife went though this. I saved money and took 2 weeks off to stay with her. We got sick of board games right off the bat, but discovered that she loves the PS2 game "Star Wars Battlefront", so we played that a lot. We listened to and played music (but instruments and stereo), seeing what kind of response we could get out of our daughter. I called basically everyone we know, espically our parents (my parents and her parents). We had people over for dinner every night. The point? Find other people to visit you. Games and books, and TV, and movies, and such can fill your time, but people are what usually drive your life.

OH and congratulations!!!!

sillygirl · 07-11-2006, 08:36 PM

I wish my SO could take time off to be here, I'd love it, but he doesn't have any paid leave for the baby, so he has to take his vaca time, which is about a week, since we didn't really know beforehand that his company did maternity leave but not paternity leave.

We do have a friend staying with us from out of state, but he's one of the 'car guys' and as much as I love him I do get tired of car conversation 24/7. I am also of the female crowd that doesn't really have many female friends, and my good male friends live out of town. My best friend (who calls the kid her nephew) didn't even show up for my baby shower and flakes every time she says she'll come out, so I've lost hope in that. Plus, everyone works during the day and at night there are people here or we will go to dinner or a movie or out for a drive just to get me out of the house, so evenings are usually okay.

I'm considering picking up my scrapbooking stuff again because we have pictures from a trip we took a couple months ago, but that gets expensive, and money's tight from me missing work due to days spent at the hospital or at home due to doc's orders.

I do get totally hooked on all things PacMan, Tetris, etc, but even then I tend to get tired of looking at a screen. I think it's so hard to stay down because the doc says "stay down". I did get them to allow me a five minute walk in the morning and one in the evening, but they didn't even want me to do that.

I'm also not allowed to drive myself anywhere, so I can't drive to Bookman's to get something new to read, so once I finish what I have here (I've currently read every book in the house aside from any language or car manuals)I'm screwed. I know I sound like a whiny baby, but right now I feel whiny. My belly is ginormous, I can't see my feet, which are swollen like melons, and I'm stuck home alone all day to sit and worry about making ends meet til I work again.

ryfo · 07-11-2006, 10:40 PM

most free librarys have a home service that will provide books, puzzles dvds etc. for you and they will deliver In my town I can reach the library on-line and order which books I want and they will bring them to me and pick them up again,you may need to supply a doctors cert to be able to use the service tho. Or try knitting stuff for the bub,but remember its worth the boredom for a healthy baby....good luck!

lurkette · 07-12-2006, 04:35 AM

It's only a week, and it's for your health and the baby's health. You CAN do it. Look at it as the first in a long line of sacrifices for your kid. Watch the movies you've always wanted to see, have your husband bring you a stockpile of magazines and books, write a long letter to your unborn kid about how your life is now and what you want to share with him/her...find something to keep your mind occupied. The housework will still be there, will ALWAYS be there. This might be the last chance you get to relax and have time to yourself - try to enjoy it! Many massage therapists specialize in pregnancy massage, and some will bring their table to your house to give you a massge - a nice way to get your BP down! See about getting someone to come give you a pedicure or something. Treat yourself well. You might also try meditation - just breathing and learning to be still. Try it for 10 minutes at a time - it's a good antidote to our "human doing" culture. (I hate that phrase, but it's so appropriate, so I use it.) Good luck!

Bill O'Rights · 07-12-2006, 04:37 AM

You're "nesting". You're preparing your home for the arrival of the baby. It's biological, and there's nothing that you can do about it. I would suggest making a baby blanket, instead of cross stich, as that might help to satiate the inner nurturer. But with a week to go, even that might become stressful as your mind thinks; "Gotta get it done, gotta get it done".

Try to at least just stick to "light" cleaning. Take in a few deep breaths, and enjoy your clean home. In fact, take a few pictures of it. It's the last time you're going to see your home that clean for another 18 years or so.

Meditrina · 07-12-2006, 04:45 AM

I see you have a love for scrapbooking. When I first started scrapping, I did it digitally (computer generated) because I found tons of free stuff to use on line. Have you tried doing that? Other than what was already suggested, I cannot think of anything else. I am alot like you. I would sit and go insane thinking of all that I should be doing around the house.

Regarding the statements made that first babies never come on time. I proved them wrong. My first was right on time. Every pregnancy and every baby and every mother is different. Whenever that baby is ready to make it's appearance is when it will come. I hope you can find things to keep yourself busy and healthy until the baby arrives.

Redlemon · 07-12-2006, 06:24 AM

How about cooking things that you can freeze? You really won't want to be dealing with preparing foods for a couple of weeks after the child is born.

sillygirl · 07-12-2006, 11:32 AM

Red, I love that suggestion, and it was actually on my to do list.. however, I live with two men, plus one that is staying with us while he's in town, and food around here with THEM around doesn't really last... haha.

The cross stitch that I'm doing is probably going to end up hanging in the kid's room, so that kind of helps and it's really kept me busy longer than I thought it would.

I finally decided to just pretend I'm on some type of vacation, but now I have this really bad rash on both legs and not so bad on both forearms. I feel like I'm on fire. One thing after another, huh? heh. I think that all this must be happening now because I had such an easy time after about week 17 and I was telling people how easy I'd had it. Now, blamo! haha. I know it could be a lot worse so I'm trying really hard not to complain. I'm also trying not to sit around and think about how hard it's going to be to take care of a newborn (I've been babysitting and taking care of kids for about ten years, but I don't think anything can really prepare me for having my own at home).

Thanks so much to all of you.. SW, I think I'm going to check into the online scrapbooking.. is it something that you keep online only or did you find a way to print it all out and make it pretty also?

Redlemon · 07-12-2006, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sillygirl

...but now I have this really bad rash on both legs and not so bad on both forearms. I feel like I'm on fire...

May I suggest the Aveeno skin products with oatmeal and menthol? There's a bath soak and a skin cream. Helped my wife, at least.

snowy · 07-12-2006, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redlemon

May I suggest the Aveeno skin products with oatmeal and menthol? There's a bath soak and a skin cream. Helped my wife, at least.

They also make one that smells really pretty that's ylang-ylang/lavender and anti-stress. I love it, and it cleared up this rash I had within 24 hrs--worked better than the Cortaid!

ngdawg · 07-12-2006, 02:15 PM

I was on complete bedrest the entire 2nd trimester and 4 weeks of the 3rd. I did LOTS of wordsearch books, read 3 newspapers a day, slept and watched tv.
Keep a journal of your pregnancy and upcoming motherhood. I have one and it's fascinating to look back on.

sillygirl · 07-12-2006, 07:19 PM

Doc told me to just keep the rash clean and dry and not put anything on it... It's on both the inside and outside of both calves and up the back of both legs, but it is mostly concentrated on my calves. It's also on my forearms. I'd been using the Aveeno menthol lotion and tea tree oil, but nothing has helped.

highthief · 07-13-2006, 05:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sillygirl

I finally decided to just pretend I'm on some type of vacation, but now I have this really bad rash on both legs and not so bad on both forearms. I feel like I'm on fire.

This can be a sign your kidneys are having difficulty. Same thing happened to my wife, so they induced her early, to be on the safe side. Can also be that you are picking up a new allergy,as your hormones, etc change.

If you have not, mention it to your doc.

sillygirl · 07-13-2006, 08:45 AM

Did anyone explain how the kidneys would cause a rash? That's really interesting to me because when they first put me on bedrest the bloodwork they did in the hospital showed that my creatinine levels were a tiny bit high, but we've repeated the bloodwork twice since then. Once everything was normal, and the second time I'm not sure yet because it was just drawn yesterday. The urine tests that they do in the office every time have also always been normal, but yesterday I didn't leave them any til I left (sorry if TMI) so I don't know what yesterday's showed. At this point I'm so tired of being pregnant that I wish they WOULD induce me... I know that's just the long time of already being swollen and looking like Shamu's twin talking, but I also really do just want to hold my baby with my arms.

To make it worse/better (depending on who you ask) my SO accepted a foster dog into the house from Rescue a Golden of Arizona. He's a sweetheart, we got him last night, but my dogs are going nuts. The puppy tired herself out in no time, which is fine, and she's actually behaving, but our 1 year old Great Dane is on protective overdrive and won't let this foster dog near me. It would be nice except that foster dog likes to JUMP and is 2 years old with no basic training and is not neutered. So basically I end up with a full grown Golden jumping on me, a 130 lb Dane knocking into me while trying to push him off of me, and a 35 pound Golden Doodle either watching or wandering around going, "duh... you guys are dumb.. duh..."

07-11-2006, 06:17 PM	#1 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Ideas please? Okay, I'm due next week to have my first child. Since lately my blood pressure's been a bit high, they took me off of work about two weeks early and told me to 'take it easy'. For me, that means time to catch up on housework and finish a few things that I wanted to get done before having the baby. They had me on total bedrest for a weekend before they took me off of work just to see if that would be enough to cool everything down. I went nuts. All I could do the whole time was sit and notice all the things that needed to be done... dishes, mop the floors, vacuum, laundry, etc etc etc.... I went OUT OF MY MIND. Since I stopped working, I've felt a lot better and been able to do the 'domestic thing' and found that I've really liked it a lot, and my hunny likes that the house has been clean, laundry's been done, groceries are bought, and typically there's food ready or almost ready for him. Yesterday I went in to the doc and I guess my BP was a little high again. I don't know why, I'd felt fine all day, and I wasn't told what it was,but I was basically put on bedrest that's not bedrest... ie, I can still get up and do a very small amount of things, but not my usual.. I'm supposed to 'sit and flip channels' all day. I can't do that.... So I'm asking anyone out there who has had to deal with this to help out, give ideas, advice, words of encouragement, anything to help. Today I worked on a cross stitch, but I don't see that keeping me busy or entertained for long. I can't sit still and not do anything all day, and I have serious issues with feeling like I'm not contributing to anything, since I don't get any paid maternity leave, so I feel like I'm just... leeching, I guess. And it doesn't help that everyone keeps either a) telling me that first babies never come on time or b ) asking if I've had the baby yet (mostly my SO's mother, who I told today to never ask me that question again). ' Come on ladies and gents, help a girl not go nuts? :-S __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

07-11-2006, 06:40 PM	#2 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	Spend a lot of time on TFP? I don't know, frankly. But I guess now is a good time to catch up on books and movies you haven't had time for til now. Besides, once the baby does finally arrive, you won't have time for any of that stuff! The only other thing I know people do for hours at a time (not booty) is to play video games. I couldn't stand that, but maybe you'll like it. I know it must be very frustrating; but remember that you are doing a LOT of work just existing in a healthy state! And the most important thing is for you and that baby to stay healthy... so develop that gaming habit, missy. __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

07-11-2006, 06:49 PM	#3 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	My wife went though this. I saved money and took 2 weeks off to stay with her. We got sick of board games right off the bat, but discovered that she loves the PS2 game "Star Wars Battlefront", so we played that a lot. We listened to and played music (but instruments and stereo), seeing what kind of response we could get out of our daughter. I called basically everyone we know, espically our parents (my parents and her parents). We had people over for dinner every night. The point? Find other people to visit you. Games and books, and TV, and movies, and such can fill your time, but people are what usually drive your life. OH and congratulations!!!! Last edited by Willravel; 07-11-2006 at 06:53 PM.. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

07-11-2006, 08:36 PM	#4 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	I wish my SO could take time off to be here, I'd love it, but he doesn't have any paid leave for the baby, so he has to take his vaca time, which is about a week, since we didn't really know beforehand that his company did maternity leave but not paternity leave. We do have a friend staying with us from out of state, but he's one of the 'car guys' and as much as I love him I do get tired of car conversation 24/7. I am also of the female crowd that doesn't really have many female friends, and my good male friends live out of town. My best friend (who calls the kid her nephew) didn't even show up for my baby shower and flakes every time she says she'll come out, so I've lost hope in that. Plus, everyone works during the day and at night there are people here or we will go to dinner or a movie or out for a drive just to get me out of the house, so evenings are usually okay. I'm considering picking up my scrapbooking stuff again because we have pictures from a trip we took a couple months ago, but that gets expensive, and money's tight from me missing work due to days spent at the hospital or at home due to doc's orders. I do get totally hooked on all things PacMan, Tetris, etc, but even then I tend to get tired of looking at a screen. I think it's so hard to stay down because the doc says "stay down". I did get them to allow me a five minute walk in the morning and one in the evening, but they didn't even want me to do that. I'm also not allowed to drive myself anywhere, so I can't drive to Bookman's to get something new to read, so once I finish what I have here (I've currently read every book in the house aside from any language or car manuals)I'm screwed. I know I sound like a whiny baby, but right now I feel whiny. My belly is ginormous, I can't see my feet, which are swollen like melons, and I'm stuck home alone all day to sit and worry about making ends meet til I work again. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

07-12-2006, 04:35 AM	#6 (permalink)
lurkette My future is coming on Moderator Emeritus Location: east of the sun and west of the moon	It's only a week, and it's for your health and the baby's health. You CAN do it. Look at it as the first in a long line of sacrifices for your kid. Watch the movies you've always wanted to see, have your husband bring you a stockpile of magazines and books, write a long letter to your unborn kid about how your life is now and what you want to share with him/her...find something to keep your mind occupied. The housework will still be there, will ALWAYS be there. This might be the last chance you get to relax and have time to yourself - try to enjoy it! Many massage therapists specialize in pregnancy massage, and some will bring their table to your house to give you a massge - a nice way to get your BP down! See about getting someone to come give you a pedicure or something. Treat yourself well. You might also try meditation - just breathing and learning to be still. Try it for 10 minutes at a time - it's a good antidote to our "human doing" culture. (I hate that phrase, but it's so appropriate, so I use it.) Good luck! __________________ "If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing." - Anatole France

07-11-2006, 10:40 PM	#5 (permalink)
ryfo Psycho Location: melbourne australia	most free librarys have a home service that will provide books, puzzles dvds etc. for you and they will deliver In my town I can reach the library on-line and order which books I want and they will bring them to me and pick them up again,you may need to supply a doctors cert to be able to use the service tho. Or try knitting stuff for the bub,but remember its worth the boredom for a healthy baby....good luck!

07-12-2006, 04:37 AM	#7 (permalink)
Bill O'Rights will always be an Alyson Hanniganite Location: In the dust of the archives	You're "nesting". You're preparing your home for the arrival of the baby. It's biological, and there's nothing that you can do about it. I would suggest making a baby blanket, instead of cross stich, as that might help to satiate the inner nurturer. But with a week to go, even that might become stressful as your mind thinks; "Gotta get it done, gotta get it done". Try to at least just stick to "light" cleaning. Take in a few deep breaths, and enjoy your clean home. In fact, take a few pictures of it. It's the last time you're going to see your home that clean for another 18 years or so. __________________ "I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony "Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

07-12-2006, 04:45 AM	#8 (permalink)
Meditrina Junkie Location: LI,NY	I see you have a love for scrapbooking. When I first started scrapping, I did it digitally (computer generated) because I found tons of free stuff to use on line. Have you tried doing that? Other than what was already suggested, I cannot think of anything else. I am alot like you. I would sit and go insane thinking of all that I should be doing around the house. Regarding the statements made that first babies never come on time. I proved them wrong. My first was right on time. Every pregnancy and every baby and every mother is different. Whenever that baby is ready to make it's appearance is when it will come. I hope you can find things to keep yourself busy and healthy until the baby arrives. __________________ "Toughness is in the soul and spirit, not in muscles." ~Alex Karras

07-12-2006, 06:24 AM	#9 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	How about cooking things that you can freeze? You really won't want to be dealing with preparing foods for a couple of weeks after the child is born. __________________ I can't read your signature. Sorry.

07-12-2006, 11:32 AM	#10 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Red, I love that suggestion, and it was actually on my to do list.. however, I live with two men, plus one that is staying with us while he's in town, and food around here with THEM around doesn't really last... haha. The cross stitch that I'm doing is probably going to end up hanging in the kid's room, so that kind of helps and it's really kept me busy longer than I thought it would. I finally decided to just pretend I'm on some type of vacation, but now I have this really bad rash on both legs and not so bad on both forearms. I feel like I'm on fire. One thing after another, huh? heh. I think that all this must be happening now because I had such an easy time after about week 17 and I was telling people how easy I'd had it. Now, blamo! haha. I know it could be a lot worse so I'm trying really hard not to complain. I'm also trying not to sit around and think about how hard it's going to be to take care of a newborn (I've been babysitting and taking care of kids for about ten years, but I don't think anything can really prepare me for having my own at home). Thanks so much to all of you.. SW, I think I'm going to check into the online scrapbooking.. is it something that you keep online only or did you find a way to print it all out and make it pretty also? __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

07-12-2006, 02:15 PM	#13 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I was on complete bedrest the entire 2nd trimester and 4 weeks of the 3rd. I did LOTS of wordsearch books, read 3 newspapers a day, slept and watched tv. Keep a journal of your pregnancy and upcoming motherhood. I have one and it's fascinating to look back on. __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

07-12-2006, 07:19 PM	#14 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Doc told me to just keep the rash clean and dry and not put anything on it... It's on both the inside and outside of both calves and up the back of both legs, but it is mostly concentrated on my calves. It's also on my forearms. I'd been using the Aveeno menthol lotion and tea tree oil, but nothing has helped. __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...

07-13-2006, 08:45 AM	#16 (permalink)
sillygirl Newlywed Location: at home	Did anyone explain how the kidneys would cause a rash? That's really interesting to me because when they first put me on bedrest the bloodwork they did in the hospital showed that my creatinine levels were a tiny bit high, but we've repeated the bloodwork twice since then. Once everything was normal, and the second time I'm not sure yet because it was just drawn yesterday. The urine tests that they do in the office every time have also always been normal, but yesterday I didn't leave them any til I left (sorry if TMI) so I don't know what yesterday's showed. At this point I'm so tired of being pregnant that I wish they WOULD induce me... I know that's just the long time of already being swollen and looking like Shamu's twin talking, but I also really do just want to hold my baby with my arms. To make it worse/better (depending on who you ask) my SO accepted a foster dog into the house from Rescue a Golden of Arizona. He's a sweetheart, we got him last night, but my dogs are going nuts. The puppy tired herself out in no time, which is fine, and she's actually behaving, but our 1 year old Great Dane is on protective overdrive and won't let this foster dog near me. It would be nice except that foster dog likes to JUMP and is 2 years old with no basic training and is not neutered. So basically I end up with a full grown Golden jumping on me, a 130 lb Dane knocking into me while trying to push him off of me, and a 35 pound Golden Doodle either watching or wandering around going, "duh... you guys are dumb.. duh..." __________________ Anyone can be passionate, but it takes real lovers to be silly-Rose Franken ....absence makes me miss him more...