Already a good dad? - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Ample · 06-17-2006, 06:21 AM

As every Saturday morning, I went to Dunkin Donuts to buy donuts, coffee, and the paper this morning. I ran into this article while drinking my coffee this morning. I really liked it, and with Father’s Day tomorrow I felt compelled to share it with you all. Some nice tips about being a good dad. I feel that I am doing a pretty good job being a father to my girls, but like everything there is always room for improvement. If there is one area in ones life where improvement counts the most, I would say parenting must be numbero uno. I am just curious what you all think of it.

Quote:

Already a good dad? Pass these hints along

Whether you're a dad from a distance or involved in changing every diaper, you should know that fathers play an important role in the development of healthy kids -- both mentally and physically.

As we get ready for Father's Day, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services offers 10 tips on being a good dad.

1. Be nice to their mom. Even if you're not on good terms, be affectionate, respectful and considerate in dealings with their mom. They're learning how to treat their future spouses from you.

2. Spend time with them. Time, like making sandwiches with them for a trip to the park, is ultimately more important than the money you spend. Time you spend with your kids also will make you more sensitive to their needs because you'll be observing and listening.

3. Help with homework. Even if plane geometry is outside your area of expertise, take an interest in the academics and meet with teachers. Some studies have shown that a dad's interest in such activities is even more important than a mom's.

4. Wrestle playfully with them. This active play can teach kids how to deal with aggressive impulses and physical contact without losing control of their emotions. "Active" activities, like playing ball, hiking and biking are more valuable than something passive, like watching television.

5. Nurture them. Hugging them when they cry, praising them when they do well, comforting them when they're scared all give kids a healthy model of what it's like to be a guy. Dads may not be as expressive as moms, but if they remain calm when a kid is upset or aggressive, they're showing how to respond to a difficult situation.

6. Discipline them appropriately. Kids need to understand the consequences of improper behavior. You can help by maintaining control of your own emotions when you mete out the punishment -- no screaming, pounding tables or acting threatening.

7. Encourage exploration. Growing up is a long process of leaving the nest, and dads can help kids accomplish that by being their guides to the outside world. It can be as simple as encouraging your preschooler to dress himself or as involved as helping your teen learn how to manage money.

8. Protect, provide for your kids. This means far more than money. You can provide for their safety when they're young by childproofing the house. As they age, you can get to know their friends and their friends' parents.

9. Teach them to respect themselves. As kids grow older, they should dress, bathe and use the toilet in private. They should learn to respect their bodies early and that can translate into delays in becoming sexually active.

10. Be a role model. Little eyes are watching everything you do, little ears are listening to everything you say, and little minds are interested in how others react to and interact with you. If you want good behavior now and in the future, show how it's done. If you make a mistake, admit it, apologize, and do your best not to make the same mistake again.

For more ideas, look for "The Importance of Fathers in the Healthy Development of Children" at nccanch.acf.hhs.gov.

http://www.delawareonline.com/apps/p...606170309/1005

Psycho Dad · 06-17-2006, 07:21 AM

Great post just in time for Father's Day. A lot of simple yet good advice in that.

maleficent · 06-17-2006, 07:28 AM

Quote:

1. Be nice to their mom. Even if you're not on good terms, be affectionate, respectful and considerate in dealings with their mom. They're learning how to treat their future spouses from you.

This one is such a big one... if you can't be affectionate, at lease go for respectful and considerate - that much costs nothing andmeans everything.

snowy · 06-17-2006, 02:19 PM

I see a lot of the things my dad did for me growing up in those suggestions.

Thanks for sharing that.

absorbentishe · 06-17-2006, 03:31 PM

My dad, was and is and asshole.. I'm certainly not, not what he was. I work hard at not being like him.

Yes, I do drink a little (well, once a week anyway) but my children will see this any way. I may smoke a stoogie on the golf course, when I play(every 3 montyhs), but all in all... All of my wife's friends, would love, love to have me as the father to their children. So, I guess I'm doing something right...

krwlz · 06-17-2006, 05:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by absorbentishe

Yes, I do drink a little (well, once a week anyway) but my children will see this any way. I may smoke a stoogie on the golf course, when I play(every 3 montyhs), but all in all... All of my wife's friends, would love, love to have me as the father to their children. So, I guess I'm doing something right...

I dont think seeing my parents drink, and (god forbid!) my dad smoke pot had any negetive effects whatsoever. He never hid any of it (not that he drank that much anyway, but still), and as such, I just grew up seeing it as no big deal. As a result, I started drinking way later than most of my friends, and started smoking extremely later than any of my friends.

When I was curious, he told me straight up what the deal was, that just because he did it, didn't mean it was a good thing (not a bad thing either) but none the less.

On that note, its not like he blatantly did that stuff in front of me, he usually went outside to smoke. But he never kept secrets from me. I thank him a lot for that.

raeanna74 · 06-18-2006, 08:56 AM

Don't play favorites. ( I haven't this issue because I only have one. But my parents had two and I was not and still am not their favorite.)

If you make a rule, stick by it. I have a lot of trouble with this. If enforcing the rule is 'too much work' for me because I don't want to deal with the tears, or the arguement I let things slide. It's a downhill road then because every time I let things slide it just gets worse. Dad let things slide a lot. Especially with their 'favorite' and neither of us kids respected him as much as we should have - Kids don't see how much turmoil they're making for their parents. They just see that the parents haven't the backbone to stand behind their rules.

Otherwise I like this list. I don't know if enforcing privacy is what will teach respect for their bodies. I had that stingently enforced. I think teaching a child to take care of their body in every way would be more effective.

06-17-2006, 07:21 AM	#2 (permalink)
Psycho Dad Mulletproof Location: Some nucking fut house.	Great post just in time for Father's Day. A lot of simple yet good advice in that. __________________ Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

06-17-2006, 02:19 PM	#4 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	I see a lot of the things my dad did for me growing up in those suggestions. Thanks for sharing that. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

06-18-2006, 08:56 AM	#7 (permalink)
raeanna74 I'm not a blonde! I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot! Location: Upper Michigan	Don't play favorites. ( I haven't this issue because I only have one. But my parents had two and I was not and still am not their favorite.) If you make a rule, stick by it. I have a lot of trouble with this. If enforcing the rule is 'too much work' for me because I don't want to deal with the tears, or the arguement I let things slide. It's a downhill road then because every time I let things slide it just gets worse. Dad let things slide a lot. Especially with their 'favorite' and neither of us kids respected him as much as we should have - Kids don't see how much turmoil they're making for their parents. They just see that the parents haven't the backbone to stand behind their rules. Otherwise I like this list. I don't know if enforcing privacy is what will teach respect for their bodies. I had that stingently enforced. I think teaching a child to take care of their body in every way would be more effective. __________________ "Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

06-17-2006, 03:31 PM	#5 (permalink)
absorbentishe Boy am I horny today Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!	My dad, was and is and asshole.. I'm certainly not, not what he was. I work hard at not being like him. Yes, I do drink a little (well, once a week anyway) but my children will see this any way. I may smoke a stoogie on the golf course, when I play(every 3 montyhs), but all in all... All of my wife's friends, would love, love to have me as the father to their children. So, I guess I'm doing something right...