The_Jazz

Or “why Daddy is a complete numbskull”

So Max woke up at about 5 am Sunday (factoring in the time change), and I was on diaper detail. I stumbled through changing him and knowing he was up for the morning, dressing him fell to me. I thought “gee, he’s about to outgrow those great outfits that my friend Mary sent us, so we need to get one more day of wear out of them so that I can send her some pictures.” So I wedged him into the white one and took him into my wife so that he could eat. Now, at 6 weeks old, he’s starting to graduate into the 3-6 month outfits that we have. At this rate, he’s going to be 28 lbs by 6 months.

Bec and I had some coffee (ah, sweet, wonderful coffee. I’m so glad that I’ve started drinking it again…), and Max went down for the first of what were sure to be several naps. The camera needed a charge so I decided to wait on the pictures. It’s now 9 am, and he’s been asleep for a while, and I remembered that I needed to trim his nails since he scratched himself the night before. He was starting to wake up, but I figured I could get at least one hand done before he started fussing. So while Bec was upstairs, I got out the clippers.

I got through most of his fingers before disaster struck. While I was clipping the nail on his right ring finger, he flinched. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem, but he moved just as I was clipping the nail and basically stuck his fingertip into the blades of the clipper. So, there’s my boy, now minus a fingertip and screaming in horrific pain. Bec ran downstairs still dripping from the shower and asked what happened while I was trying to apologize to Max for maiming him for life.

We quickly figured out that it wasn’t a huge cut, but it was deep. I basically cut the round part of the finger directly below the nail, which of course is pretty useful when you want to feel anything or press a button. I cut it cleanly, so there wasn’t anything to sew or glue shut. We stopped freaking out about the size of the cut pretty quickly and focused on stopping the bleeding. After he soaked through a paper towel, we resorted to gauze and went through 6 pads over the next hour. We also used cans of pop to try to restrict the blood vessels, and there was blood everywhere, including on him and us. An hour and a half later it was still bleeding, so we called the doctor who told us to go to the hospital. In the meantime, he’d slept for about half an hour and eaten again, so he wasn’t really distressed at all, although his parents were. So into the car seat he went.

Driving down Lakeshore Drive (we live in Chicago) at 11 am wasn’t bad, especially since Max was asleep within 5 minutes of getting in the car. Thankfully, the emergency room at Children’s Memorial was pretty much empty, so they saw us pretty much right away – note: when taking a bleeding child to the ER, make it a point to sit next to the other bleeding kids, not the sick ones. Over 20 minutes, we saw 3 nurses and 3 doctors who all told us that he just needed the wound cleaned since the pressure dressing that they put on in the first 5 minutes did the trick. Needless to say, the freak-out factor dialed back considerably during our stay, although Daddy was still feeling pretty stupid and guilty. The suggestion for the use of a nail file in the future was heeded immediately (a suggestion made by all 6 healthcare professionals, mind you), as demonstrated by the purchase of one such device on the trip home. Max got the award for “Smiliest Baby in the ER” for the morning, and we were out of there an hour after we drove up.

So, that great white outfit that my friend sent us? Blood spattered. The other one? Too small. The camera was done charging by the time we got home, but somehow I didn’t think anyone would appreciate pictures of Mr. 9 Fingers looking like he just lost a fight. On the up side, they weighed him while we were at the ER, and he’s well over 12 lbs now, which is a huge gain considering he was 7 lbs 10 oz at birth 6 weeks ago.

I had great intentions over the weekend, but considering my attempt to maim my son fell flat, I hope that you’ll accept my word that both outfits were horrendously cute. Apparently the blood is out, but given the circumstances of the last day or so, I’m not exactly hell-bent on getting him back into either of them given my performance as a father over the last few days.

The point of this thread: files, not clippers.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

maleficent

Poor baby... poor parents... rest assured - this will be guilt material for years.. hey dad, I need a car - ya see -when you cut off the tip of m y finger when i was a wee baby, well I can't take public transport..

__________________

ngdawg

Ah, wait....the guilt trip is one long journey. Thanks for the chuckles

__________________
Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

Daniel_

At least he'll have a brilliant story to guilt you with over the years.

My brother still makes capital out of my mother breaking his arm (by accident) ovr 30 years ago.

__________________

╔═════════════════════════════════════════╗
Overhead, the Albatross hangs motionless upon the air,
And deep beneath the rolling waves,
In labyrinths of Coral Caves,
The Echo of a distant time
Comes willowing across the sand;
And everthing is Green and Submarine
╚═════════════════════════════════════════╝

abaya

Awww... poor kid and dad. But don't beat yourself up over it. My mom passed out at a party once when she was holding me on the edge of a balcony, and I only remember turning around and seeing her fall back (I was 5 or 6). Good thing I didn't lean forward...

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

Derwood

i cut my oldest daughter the first time I clipped her nails and didn't try again for over 2 years

__________________
"You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

spindles

we use specially designed nail scissors like these:

http://cgi.ebay.com.au/TOMMEE-TIPPEE...QQcmdZViewItem

and we are yet to have any kind of nail disaster.

Glad to here everything turned out in the end.

__________________
who hid my keyboard's PANIC button?

hunnychile

This little gem was priceless. I'm still chuckling....Max will enjoy reading that to his wife someday! Oops poor Dad, Mama Bec & little Max. This is a true family bonding story, the stuff American families are ALL about... those families who are all about learning & lovin' one another together.

In Peace.

hunnychile

__________________
"I need compassion, understanding and chocolate." - NJB

Zeraph

Next time (I'm no health care prof tho) you can dab the wound with flour to clot the blood flow. At least as a temp fix till the doctor.

TotalMILF

Don't feel too bad about it - I'm sure almost every parent in here has had a mishap or two while cutting their kids' nails.

Xepherys won't cut our son's nails at all. He flat-out refuses, so it's my responsibility. Last time I cut one of his nails too short and it started to bleed a tiny bit, and then he started screaming. After a few seconds he was back to normal, like nothing ever happened, but I still felt absolutely horrible for the rest of the day. I was apologizing profusely to my infant son for the next several hours, and I actually started crying because I felt so bad about it. So maybe I'll try the file thing tomorrow...

So he's already 12lbs? Awesome! I really wish we could post pics (although I understand why we are not allowed to), because I would really love to see your son! Chubby babies rock! I've got a chunkster, myself. 4.5 months old and 20lbs. Mother's milk, baby!!!!

The_Jazz

In case anyone's interested, there's an update - I was forced to accept exclusive responsibility for all nail-related maintenance. I've told this story a few times, usually with the preface of "the most expensive trip for neosporin ever", and about every 3rd person has bought me what is supposed to be the greatest thing for nail trimming ever. I am now the proud owner of 3 nail files of varying sizes, embroidery scissors, safety scissors, clippers with guards, clippers without guards (!) and a rusty knife (which was a joke). One of my inlaws also pointed out that it took her son 6 years for his first trip to the ER while we did it in 6 weeks; she's mad at me because I told her that Max is just that much more advanced than my nephew.

I'm feeling much better about the incident, especially since the wound is now just about healed. Thanks for all the great comments!

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

maleficent

I hope that you're keeping a baby book, or some sort of journal for Max - -so that when he's older - he can look back and look at all the ways his parents tried to maim him - -that's before they really do want to maim him for staying out all night, or not putting gas in the car before returning it...

__________________

The_Jazz

I'm actually under strict instructions to never tell him because of the blackmail value. These instructions came from a 15 year-old girl whose father basically did the same thing to her. Aparently, her dad also once grounded her then-5 year-old brother for not eating cereal that dad had poured coffee over early in the morning. The grounding was repealed pretty quickly after mom intervened and showed the dad what he tried to make the kid eat.

The best thing about this whole experience is the other stories that I've gotten out of people. Aparently one of my biggest clients once dropped his 9-month old directly onto the top of her head from about 3 feet. Since she's going to Harvard this fall, I don't think it did much harm, but the way he tells the story made my abs hurt.

__________________
"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." - B. Franklin
"There ought to be limits to freedom." - George W. Bush
"We have met the enemy and he is us." - Pogo

ClostGoth

Make this ten times worse if you do it to a FOSTER baby! I managed to get through three of my own without ever having a nail cutting incident, but the first time I clipped my foster daughter's nails I did the exact same thing! I was just so nervous that my hand was shaking. Hubby was responsible for nail trimming duties for a solid three months. We managed to still the bleeding pretty quickly (I was too traumatized to remember how!) and didn't have to go to the ER. That was a good thing because she had a visit with her bio-mom that morning! I had a tearful confession for the social worker (convinced that they would move her to another home), who smiled and patted me on the back and expressed her thankfulness that the baby in question has such a loving and responsible family to take care of her. (And perhaps adopt her in the next 3.5 months or so?) Six months later she's happy and sweet - and not even a scar to point to. It was a totally failed maiming attempt. And not one I'm likely to share with her as she grows.

__________________
I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
--Douglas Adams

sexymama

I did this to my eldest daughter when she was 6 weeks old. To this day (age 12) I am not aloud to cut her nails.

The best part was when she was about six and it was April 1st. I starting screaming that I had cut my own toe off. She was horrified, running to get me a rag and water, while I sat with my hand over my toe. I didn't take long to uncover it and declare, "April Fool." We laugh and laugh about my nail trimming capabilities. The family jokes will go on and on and on!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.