I'm having another girl!!!! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Daoust · 01-31-2006, 04:09 AM

My wife just went to the ultrasound yesterday. We're going to be having a girl in June!!!!! This will be our second child and second girl! I'm so glad my 2 year old daughter will have a sister to be close to and play with.

It's going to be a busy household this summer, let me tell you...

So any advice out there for a guy who grew up with brothers only on how to raise girls, from a dads perspective???

maleficent · 01-31-2006, 04:24 AM

congratulations...

don't make the assumption that they will close... my sister and i are 18 months apart and now and were as children - as different as night and day... we are not close nor were we ever close. let them be themselves...

Charlatan · 01-31-2006, 05:00 AM

Congratulations Daoust!!

Wow another daughter... I have my hands full with just one daughter. I don't know how to help you with regards to the father daughter stuff... the only advice I can give is that you will figure it out.

Oh, and leave the "girly" stuff to your wife where possible (although if one of them asks you to paint her nails... go for it).

Daoust · 01-31-2006, 05:15 AM

Charlie... the girly stuff is going to be entirely in my wife's capable hands... I'm not going near training bra's or tampons...

I haven't entirely figured out what my role will be. With boys it's different. I know what boys want in a father. I know what boys do, how they think. Girls, I'm not so sure of.

It's going to be a learning experience for sure!

Charlatan · 01-31-2006, 05:17 AM

I'm just making it up as I go along... don't tell my kids.

maleficent · 01-31-2006, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daoust

Charlie... the girly stuff is going to be entirely in my wife's capable hands... I'm not going near training bra's or tampons...

Why -- that's not scarey stuff? I know you're kidding... but you've 10 years or so to get over the fear - it's not something to be embarassed over -your daughters will sense your embarassment... and maybe think there's somethign wronhg with them

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daoust

I haven't entirely figured out what my role will be. With boys it's different. I know what boys want in a father. I know what boys do, how they think. Girls, I'm not so sure of.

It's been said that a girl's relationship with her father basically sets the bar for her future relationship with men... Treat them with respect. Don't treat them like fragile breakables... You can do boy stuff with them. (to this day, I can change a tire faster than any guy I know thanks to my dad) Teach them to respect themselves.

ngdawg · 01-31-2006, 05:51 AM

I concur with Mal on this. My dad had 3 girls before his son came. I could throw a perfect football over the telephone wires, change tires (I took all 4 off my VW and painted them) and learned to do auto body work. I preferred sitting with dad to watch football to sitting with mom watching old movies(although I know way too many of those by osmosis). My dad is a fantastic artist and would help me out there, help with my spelling and laugh maniacally as he whooped us in Monopoly.
Kids are kids. They follow a path most comfortable if you allow them to make simple choices. My daughter loved dolls, but we never pushed that-it came naturally. I only wish her dad had taught her to throw a perfect football-he treats her with kid gloves, but is (to me) detrimentally tough on our son.
If your daughter wants you to join her in a 'tea party', do it. If she wants you to sit with her on the floor and make clay monsters, just do it. Time together is what's required and appreciated, regardless of how you spend it.
Congrats!

snowy · 01-31-2006, 07:40 AM

My dad is my hero. He has always been there, no matter what, and even when he could have said, "I told you so" he didn't.

He's responsible for my love of snakes, hiking, boating, and teaching. He has always been my biggest cheerleader (along with my mother, of course) and my biggest fan. He came to all my choir concerts, drove me to lacrosse games, and came to pick me up when I was sick (even though it meant taking off of work early/rearranging things). When I went off to college that first year and didn't have a car on campus, he regularly made the 1.5 hour drive down to pick me up and bring me home.

Just BE THERE and the rest will come. I know my dad was scared shitless about having kids, especially little ones. But he did fine. You'll be fine too.

Daoust · 01-31-2006, 08:27 AM

Thanks OSO. I appreciate that advice. If nothing else I can at least be there for my kids important events... Show support, etc..

DDDDave · 01-31-2006, 11:52 AM

Lot's of good advice from everybody so far. I have two daughters, 17 and 14 now, and can remember the day each of them was born.

I want to reiterate what Mal said earlier....Your daughters impression of men for the rest of their lives will be formed by you. This is your most important role besides providing for them. They will notice everything about how you treat their Mom. If you are mean and yell at her, they will tolerate that in the boys and men they date and (gasp) marry. If you show outward affection, they will expect that of their men, too. I think, and maybe I'm overthinking this, that your role as husband becomes even more important when you have girls.

You can see by the responses of the females, their Dad's were their heroes. Try to be one for your daughters.

I had an old girlfriend whose father was a complete a-hole and she just never could trust a man....she was afraid he would let her down like her father did. She ended up marrying a guy who was just like her Dad. Had three boys, treated her bad, cheated on her, and then left. Don't be that guy. Her sons are very jaded now. They are scared to get involved because they think it will turn out bad

Keep your same enthusiasm. Good luck and good fortune.

Giant Hamburger · 02-02-2006, 12:31 PM

Hail Daoust!

Mrs. GH will beget our third lady-child in early July.
I can teach you nothing.
I too, like Charlatan, make it up as I go along.
Feel free to ask me questions.
Who knows if the answers will be helpful.
Good luck and congratulations.
-GH

Daoust · 02-02-2006, 12:33 PM

Thanks GH. I appreciate your...um...honesty.

Even today in the staff room two of the ladies were like "Man, I don't know what to say... raising boys is a hell of a lot easier."

I was like, "Well, uh, thanks!"

That kind of talk has me worried. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick to the 'make it up' theory...

Giant Hamburger · 02-02-2006, 12:50 PM

Hello again,

Every child is different.

It is easy to make a blanket statement like boys are easier than girls but it means nothing to your specific situation. We have all seen both good and bad examples of children, male and female. There are too many variables that go into raising a child.
Clearly you care about the quality of your parenting and that is the first step to success. The rest will play out depending on strength, courage, determination, foresight and an infinite number of other things that you may or may not have control over. Try to do your best raising a caring human and let the "female" details fall into place as they may.

Minimize your fears whenever possible.
-GH

Charlatan · 02-02-2006, 12:58 PM

That's advice you can take to the grill.

snowy · 02-02-2006, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daoust

Even today in the staff room two of the ladies were like "Man, I don't know what to say... raising boys is a hell of a lot easier."

My mother says that it would have been easier to raise two of me versus just one of my brother.

So there you go.

Derwood · 02-02-2006, 02:19 PM

As Chris Rock says, "A father's only job is to keep his girls off the pole!" (stripper pole that is).

I have 2 girls and it's great. The 3 year old isn't the manic tasmanian devil child most boys her age seem to be. I think girls are easier when they're young, harder in the teens.

Of course, we both have to look forward to paying for 2 weddings

Daoust · 02-02-2006, 06:25 PM

Derwood! How awesome that you referenced a Chris Rock skit that I listened to just today on the way home from work!

There's also Chris Rocks rendition of "Real People Of Ignorance"

"Here's to you Ms. Girl With A Tattoo on Her Pussy...that tattoo on your pussy says you're headed straight for the pole...you are one ignorant bitch!"

So I guess the worst I could do is endup with a stripper for a daughter... Hey I think I can work towards avoiding that.

Anyways, I digress...

Thanks again OSO for your wise words, and you too GH

typette · 02-04-2006, 05:41 PM

As a daughter, the best advice I can give from what my dad did is to always let your daughters know that you're proud of them. That will have a huge impact on their self esteem, and as has been said, influence how they expect guys to treat them down the road.

01-31-2006, 04:09 AM	#1 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	I'm having another girl!!!! My wife just went to the ultrasound yesterday. We're going to be having a girl in June!!!!! This will be our second child and second girl! I'm so glad my 2 year old daughter will have a sister to be close to and play with. It's going to be a busy household this summer, let me tell you... So any advice out there for a guy who grew up with brothers only on how to raise girls, from a dads perspective??? __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

01-31-2006, 04:24 AM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	congratulations... don't make the assumption that they will close... my sister and i are 18 months apart and now and were as children - as different as night and day... we are not close nor were we ever close. let them be themselves... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

01-31-2006, 05:00 AM	#3 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	Congratulations Daoust!! Wow another daughter... I have my hands full with just one daughter. I don't know how to help you with regards to the father daughter stuff... the only advice I can give is that you will figure it out. Oh, and leave the "girly" stuff to your wife where possible (although if one of them asks you to paint her nails... go for it). __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

01-31-2006, 05:15 AM	#4 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Charlie... the girly stuff is going to be entirely in my wife's capable hands... I'm not going near training bra's or tampons... I haven't entirely figured out what my role will be. With boys it's different. I know what boys want in a father. I know what boys do, how they think. Girls, I'm not so sure of. It's going to be a learning experience for sure! __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

01-31-2006, 05:17 AM	#5 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	I'm just making it up as I go along... don't tell my kids. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

01-31-2006, 05:51 AM	#7 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	I concur with Mal on this. My dad had 3 girls before his son came. I could throw a perfect football over the telephone wires, change tires (I took all 4 off my VW and painted them) and learned to do auto body work. I preferred sitting with dad to watch football to sitting with mom watching old movies(although I know way too many of those by osmosis). My dad is a fantastic artist and would help me out there, help with my spelling and laugh maniacally as he whooped us in Monopoly. Kids are kids. They follow a path most comfortable if you allow them to make simple choices. My daughter loved dolls, but we never pushed that-it came naturally. I only wish her dad had taught her to throw a perfect football-he treats her with kid gloves, but is (to me) detrimentally tough on our son. If your daughter wants you to join her in a 'tea party', do it. If she wants you to sit with her on the floor and make clay monsters, just do it. Time together is what's required and appreciated, regardless of how you spend it. Congrats! __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

01-31-2006, 07:40 AM	#8 (permalink)
snowy Kick Ass Kunoichi Location: Oregon	My dad is my hero. He has always been there, no matter what, and even when he could have said, "I told you so" he didn't. He's responsible for my love of snakes, hiking, boating, and teaching. He has always been my biggest cheerleader (along with my mother, of course) and my biggest fan. He came to all my choir concerts, drove me to lacrosse games, and came to pick me up when I was sick (even though it meant taking off of work early/rearranging things). When I went off to college that first year and didn't have a car on campus, he regularly made the 1.5 hour drive down to pick me up and bring me home. Just BE THERE and the rest will come. I know my dad was scared shitless about having kids, especially little ones. But he did fine. You'll be fine too. __________________ If I am not better, at least I am different. --Jean-Jacques Rousseau

01-31-2006, 08:27 AM	#9 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Thanks OSO. I appreciate that advice. If nothing else I can at least be there for my kids important events... Show support, etc.. __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

01-31-2006, 11:52 AM	#10 (permalink)
DDDDave Addict Location: Sarasota	Lot's of good advice from everybody so far. I have two daughters, 17 and 14 now, and can remember the day each of them was born. I want to reiterate what Mal said earlier....Your daughters impression of men for the rest of their lives will be formed by you. This is your most important role besides providing for them. They will notice everything about how you treat their Mom. If you are mean and yell at her, they will tolerate that in the boys and men they date and (gasp) marry. If you show outward affection, they will expect that of their men, too. I think, and maybe I'm overthinking this, that your role as husband becomes even more important when you have girls. You can see by the responses of the females, their Dad's were their heroes. Try to be one for your daughters. I had an old girlfriend whose father was a complete a-hole and she just never could trust a man....she was afraid he would let her down like her father did. She ended up marrying a guy who was just like her Dad. Had three boys, treated her bad, cheated on her, and then left. Don't be that guy. Her sons are very jaded now. They are scared to get involved because they think it will turn out bad Keep your same enthusiasm. Good luck and good fortune. __________________ I am just a simple man trying to make my way in the universe... "Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined." - Thoreau "Nothing great was ever accomplished without enthusiasm" - Emerson

02-02-2006, 12:31 PM	#11 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hail Daoust! Mrs. GH will beget our third lady-child in early July. I can teach you nothing. I too, like Charlatan, make it up as I go along. Feel free to ask me questions. Who knows if the answers will be helpful. Good luck and congratulations. -GH

02-02-2006, 12:33 PM	#12 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Thanks GH. I appreciate your...um...honesty. Even today in the staff room two of the ladies were like "Man, I don't know what to say... raising boys is a hell of a lot easier." I was like, "Well, uh, thanks!" That kind of talk has me worried. Oh well, I guess I'll just have to stick to the 'make it up' theory... __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

02-02-2006, 12:50 PM	#13 (permalink)
Giant Hamburger Gastrolithuanian Location: low-velocity Earth orbit	Hello again, Every child is different. It is easy to make a blanket statement like boys are easier than girls but it means nothing to your specific situation. We have all seen both good and bad examples of children, male and female. There are too many variables that go into raising a child. Clearly you care about the quality of your parenting and that is the first step to success. The rest will play out depending on strength, courage, determination, foresight and an infinite number of other things that you may or may not have control over. Try to do your best raising a caring human and let the "female" details fall into place as they may. Minimize your fears whenever possible. -GH

02-02-2006, 12:58 PM	#14 (permalink)
Charlatan Getting it. Super Moderator Location: Lion City	That's advice you can take to the grill. __________________ "My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars." - Old Man Luedecke

02-02-2006, 02:19 PM	#16 (permalink)
Derwood Who You Crappin? Location: Everywhere and Nowhere	As Chris Rock says, "A father's only job is to keep his girls off the pole!" (stripper pole that is). I have 2 girls and it's great. The 3 year old isn't the manic tasmanian devil child most boys her age seem to be. I think girls are easier when they're young, harder in the teens. Of course, we both have to look forward to paying for 2 weddings __________________ "You can't shoot a country until it becomes a democracy." - Willravel

02-02-2006, 06:25 PM	#17 (permalink)
Daoust "I'm sorry. What was the question?" Location: Paradise Regained	Derwood! How awesome that you referenced a Chris Rock skit that I listened to just today on the way home from work! There's also Chris Rocks rendition of "Real People Of Ignorance" "Here's to you Ms. Girl With A Tattoo on Her Pussy...that tattoo on your pussy says you're headed straight for the pole...you are one ignorant bitch!" So I guess the worst I could do is endup with a stripper for a daughter... Hey I think I can work towards avoiding that. Anyways, I digress... Thanks again OSO for your wise words, and you too GH __________________ I have faith in a few things - divinity and grace But even when I'm on my knees I know the devil preys

02-04-2006, 05:41 PM	#18 (permalink)
typette Upright Location: saskatchewan	As a daughter, the best advice I can give from what my dad did is to always let your daughters know that you're proud of them. That will have a huge impact on their self esteem, and as has been said, influence how they expect guys to treat them down the road.