Male Empty Nest Syndrom - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Tempest · 01-17-2006, 05:08 PM

Let me start by saying that when my husband and I were married, we decided to have 3 or 4 children. My first pregnancy was a real bitch. I was restricted to bed for the last 3 months, He owns his own business so he was there damn near 24/7, but it was worth it, we have twin girls. I was told that any more pregnancies would be very risky. Knowing that, we still wanted a large family. Adoption was the answer. We adopted 3 sisters varying in ages from 2 to 7. Life was full of laughter and good times. He IS a great Dad. All of our girls were definately "Daddy Little Girls" Well as college came and they left one by one I noticed a change in my husband. He was spending more and more time to himself. Closing me out.
He seemed to be putting up walls. Basically his day consisted of going to work, coming home and then go to his work shop and work on stuff for the girls. He builds stuff they will never use or even need. All of the girls call at least once a week and he will chat for hours with them. For a short time his he is back to himself, but it dosn't last.
I just don't know how to handle my husbands withdrawal from me and life.
I have talked to a doctor about this and he wants my husband to come in to just sit and talk. Getting him there is not going to be easy. He feels I'm the one with the problem. It was my husband that said I was suffering from Empty Nest. I do miss my girls but I'm looking forward to sharing the future with the loving and caring man I fell in love with.
I don't expect any replies to this.....Just venting my frustration

maleficent · 01-17-2006, 05:19 PM

Vent on...

Sounds like he's despressed - he's been 'big daddy' for umpteen years - and now nothing...

Sound like a hobby that has him around other people might do him some good...

What kind of community do you live in -- I'd suggest coaching some sport- or even putting his shop skills to good use and teach a class in that...

Letting him know you love him and for him - not because he's daddy- which is what you are doing.... and vent as often as you need to -- sounds like you really are hurting..

Good luck

01-17-2006, 05:08 PM	#1 (permalink)
Tempest Upright	Male Empty Nest Syndrom Let me start by saying that when my husband and I were married, we decided to have 3 or 4 children. My first pregnancy was a real bitch. I was restricted to bed for the last 3 months, He owns his own business so he was there damn near 24/7, but it was worth it, we have twin girls. I was told that any more pregnancies would be very risky. Knowing that, we still wanted a large family. Adoption was the answer. We adopted 3 sisters varying in ages from 2 to 7. Life was full of laughter and good times. He IS a great Dad. All of our girls were definately "Daddy Little Girls" Well as college came and they left one by one I noticed a change in my husband. He was spending more and more time to himself. Closing me out. He seemed to be putting up walls. Basically his day consisted of going to work, coming home and then go to his work shop and work on stuff for the girls. He builds stuff they will never use or even need. All of the girls call at least once a week and he will chat for hours with them. For a short time his he is back to himself, but it dosn't last. I just don't know how to handle my husbands withdrawal from me and life. I have talked to a doctor about this and he wants my husband to come in to just sit and talk. Getting him there is not going to be easy. He feels I'm the one with the problem. It was my husband that said I was suffering from Empty Nest. I do miss my girls but I'm looking forward to sharing the future with the loving and caring man I fell in love with. I don't expect any replies to this.....Just venting my frustration

01-17-2006, 05:19 PM	#2 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Vent on... Sounds like he's despressed - he's been 'big daddy' for umpteen years - and now nothing... Sound like a hobby that has him around other people might do him some good... What kind of community do you live in -- I'd suggest coaching some sport- or even putting his shop skills to good use and teach a class in that... Letting him know you love him and for him - not because he's daddy- which is what you are doing.... and vent as often as you need to -- sounds like you really are hurting.. Good luck __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.