How to respond sensitively
 

Hey,

A friend of mine told me that her dead grandmother 'visited' her the other night. Sat down, held her, and she could feel pressure on her skin etc. She couldn't see the entity, but it wasn't the first time it had happened to her, or to other family members so she knew what was going on.

Now, while I remain a sceptic, I tried to come up with a reason why maybe she was visited (from the perspective of the entity, not a scientific one). I really didn't know what to say and it's hard to talk about stuff like that without sounding like a rude bastard.

How do others go about this?

I would just have to be rude, I think! There is no proper or "nice" way of telling somebody they're nuts! Sometimes up front honesty works best!

Well geodaro, that would be really rude, and I assume that macro
would like to keep his friend... I would try to see her point of view, she just lost someone close to her, of course shes going to be a little "out of it" just give her time, things should get back to normal soon. I would suggest just being there for her, and not judging her now, who knows, she might be having "visitations" only she really knows for sure.
~Crack

I've had visits from my dead family members. Mostly in the form of remembered smells. I was driving in my car one day, about 5 years after my mom died, and the smell of her perfume was all around me. Now, it was the dead of winter, windows were all closed and I was passing a water treatment plant.

Who says her grandmother didn't visit? Most likely it was to comfort her and let her know she's okay on the other side. It's okay to be skeptical too, but, I wouldn't worry about it.

She probably trying to work through something and needs someone to listen.

I learned at work that all you need to do is say "I understand" or, "I hear you." None of that means you agree but it helps the other person feel better about what they are saying. Plus, you can ask loads of questions to get someone talking and then you aren't having to make statements to agree, just listen.

It's not nuts- I have felt spirits before. It's amazing if you just let it happen- they are not there to scare or harm you. They are there because they have unfinsihed business- wanting to communicate with loved ones and comfort them, letting them know they are not really gone- that they will always be there.

Her grandmother died two years ago, and while they were close, she's not grieving or anything like that still. She was freaked out about it, but in a good shocked kind of way. She also had just been made redundant and I said that maybe her grandmother was seeing if she'd managed to find a job yet. She thought that was feasible enough.

What made this interesting compared to other people that have told me stories of the paranormal is that she actually believed it so strongly and it seemed to mean something to her. I've heard plenty of stories from others which I'd brush off quickly as a duck brushes off water.

Tis reminded me of something that happened years ago that I forgot about, even when reading through all this the first time.

I was very close to my father-in-law.... he was almost equal to my own father. He was very ill and my wife went eight hours away to see him. My wife stopped at my parents on the way to spend the night. I woke up from a dead sleep that night with the distinct feeling that someone was in my bedroom. Within 30 seconds of waking the phone rang.... it was someone from the hospital calling to say he had passed away.

Well put! Even if she is a little loopy (which probably isn't the case), show her that you understand and you're there for her. That is a true friend.

Thanks. Every once in a while I slip up and come up with something useful. It sure is nice to be quoted! Kind of puts a stamp of credibility on things.

It must be a week for this kind of stuff. I had another friend last night tell me about experiences where he has been pinned to his bed (quite scary apprently) twice by some force. He's not sure if he's awake or asleep, but he does wake up when he can move. The interesting thing is that it's also happened to his sister and her boyfriend in the same house.

I'm sure by the end of the week, someone else will share something like this with me :)

It's just sleep paralysis. A common phenomena. I get it about once a month or so. Sometimes I hear weird noises and see flashes of light, plus it generally happens just as you're coming out of a dream (it's caused by your brain paralyzing your body so you don't act out your dreams, usually you wake up after the effect has worn off). So it's very easy to be quite disoriented.

First time it ever happened it was scary as hell. Now I just wake up and think "dammit, this crap again, time to wait for a few seconds so I can move again and get back to sleep". :)

EDIT: Oh the other day I had a weird one. I dreamt I was having sleep paralysis. I "woke up" in the dream lying in a really weird position with my legs half off the bed, and couldn't move for about 30 seconds. Then I woke up for real and was lying normally on the bed. That sure was confusing!

Sleep paralysis. Yeah, I really didn't think too much about it, but that sounds like a good explanation for him

If you look at various religions, from pagan to judeo-christian, they all seem to give a nod to some sort of spirit realm, altered state of consiousness, heaven etc. Is it not possible that once we leave our physical bodies, that our energy exists outside that constraint in some form or another? And if our will, or energy is strong enough, is it not possible that we could use it to visit a family member still constrained within a physical body.....or pin someone down to a bed for that matter?

If she said her dead grandmother held her and it helps her get through the day then no harm no foul. No reason to go stomping on other peoples coping mechanisms. And who knows, maybe grandma did swing through...

Now if she starts running around in her dead grandmas clothes or talking to her in public or something then you have a problem. Short of that leave it alone

well first of all, people should be alowed to believe in what they want. and passing someone down for being nuts because they believe in spirits, like her grandmother seeing her, is just too harsh. i personaly believe in ghosts.. but dont be too quick to judge somone and just retionalize and reason stuff with.. meh they're just crazy. and even if you think her "visit" was just too unlikely or whatever, dont prove your dissbelif too strongly, just be a bit more on the "maybe" side or just dont talk alot about it.. tearing down on her way of thinking isnt what she needs right now..